
I Want My Epidural Back
Adventures in Mediocre Parenting
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $14.39
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Karen Alpert
-
By:
-
Karen Alpert
About this listen
Now that I'm a mom, I know the most painful part isn't getting something giant through your hooha. It's having a real live child.
If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo's organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not listen to this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not listen to this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino's pizza on speed dial, do not listen to this book.
But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won't put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonalds for a special treat but really it's because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely listen to this book.
I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert's honest but hilarious observations, stories, and quips will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you're smart and listen to it there.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.©2016 Karen Alpert (P)2016 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
-
Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes
- Unfiltered Advice on How to Raise Awesome Kids
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn’t always know WTF she’s doing. Just like you.
By: Karen Alpert
-
#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
-
-
IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
-
The Way I Heard It
- By: Mike Rowe
- Narrated by: Mike Rowe
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emmy-award winning gadfly Mike Rowe presents a ridiculously entertaining, seriously fascinating collection of his favorite episodes from America’s number-one short-form podcast, The Way I Heard It, along with a host of memories, ruminations, and insights. It’s a delightful collection of mysteries. A mosaic. A memoir. A charming, surprising must-have. Mike Rowe’s The Way I Heard It collects 35 fascinating stories “for the curious mind with a short attention span”.
-
-
I could listen to Mike read all day. And I am!
- By Amazon Customer on 10-15-19
By: Mike Rowe
-
Hold On, But Don't Hold Still
- Hope and Humor from My Seriously Flawed Life
- By: Kristina Kuzmic
- Narrated by: Kristina Kuzmic
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kristina Kuzmic has made herself a household name, speaking directly to mothers from the trenches of parenthood via her viral videos and social media presence. She is now bringing her message of self-acceptance, resilience, and joy to audiobook listeners. With a refreshingly unpretentious, funny, and galvanizing voice, Kuzmic goes behind the scenes to reveal how she went from broke and defeated to unshakably grounded and brimming with thankfulness.
-
-
Girl, This is It
- By K.C. on 05-04-20
By: Kristina Kuzmic
-
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
- Essays
- By: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
-
-
Hot sauce is the best!
- By Michael Bowen on 06-15-22
By: Tom Segura
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
-
Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes
- Unfiltered Advice on How to Raise Awesome Kids
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn’t always know WTF she’s doing. Just like you.
By: Karen Alpert
-
#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
-
-
IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
-
The Way I Heard It
- By: Mike Rowe
- Narrated by: Mike Rowe
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emmy-award winning gadfly Mike Rowe presents a ridiculously entertaining, seriously fascinating collection of his favorite episodes from America’s number-one short-form podcast, The Way I Heard It, along with a host of memories, ruminations, and insights. It’s a delightful collection of mysteries. A mosaic. A memoir. A charming, surprising must-have. Mike Rowe’s The Way I Heard It collects 35 fascinating stories “for the curious mind with a short attention span”.
-
-
I could listen to Mike read all day. And I am!
- By Amazon Customer on 10-15-19
By: Mike Rowe
-
Hold On, But Don't Hold Still
- Hope and Humor from My Seriously Flawed Life
- By: Kristina Kuzmic
- Narrated by: Kristina Kuzmic
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kristina Kuzmic has made herself a household name, speaking directly to mothers from the trenches of parenthood via her viral videos and social media presence. She is now bringing her message of self-acceptance, resilience, and joy to audiobook listeners. With a refreshingly unpretentious, funny, and galvanizing voice, Kuzmic goes behind the scenes to reveal how she went from broke and defeated to unshakably grounded and brimming with thankfulness.
-
-
Girl, This is It
- By K.C. on 05-04-20
By: Kristina Kuzmic
-
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
- Essays
- By: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
-
-
Hot sauce is the best!
- By Michael Bowen on 06-15-22
By: Tom Segura
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
-
The Daddy Diaries
- The Year I Grew Up
- By: Andy Cohen
- Narrated by: Andy Cohen
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One of Andy Cohen’s most momentous years starts off with a hangover the morning after an epic New Year’s Eve broadcast. But Andy doesn’t have time to dwell on the drama, as his role as media mogul is now matched with the responsibilities, joys, and growing pains of parenthood. This fast-paced, mile-a-minute look behind the scenes of living the so-called glamorous life in Manhattan now takes firm aim at life at home.
-
-
A huge fan
- By Graceblue on 05-17-23
By: Andy Cohen
-
I Hate Myselfie
- By: Shane Dawson
- Narrated by: Shane Dawson
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shane Dawson has always been an open book. From his first YouTube vlog back in 2008 to his feature film debut Not Cool to a cover story in Variety magazine, Shane has documented his life pre-tty thoroughly. We've seen awkward and adorable Q&As with his mom, weight-loss center drama, love life details, and the all-important haircut reveal. We've seen his hilarious spoofs of Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, and Sarah Palin. His music videos are awesome.
-
-
Never heard of Shane Dawson and still loved this!
- By Tim B. on 03-13-15
By: Shane Dawson
-
Dad Is Fat
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
-
-
Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
-
Live Wire
- Long-Winded Short Stories
- By: Kelly Ripa
- Narrated by: Kelly Ripa
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An instant New York Times bestseller from Kelly Ripa—a sharp, funny, and honest collection of real-life stories showing the many dimensions and crackling wit of the beloved daytime talk show host.
-
-
Live Wire
- By Sharyn G. Johnson on 10-09-22
By: Kelly Ripa
-
We Are Never Meeting in Real Life
- Essays
- By: Samantha Irby
- Narrated by: Samantha Irby
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette; detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father’s ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she’s as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
-
-
There, But For The Grace Of God
- By Anthony Robertson on 11-20-17
By: Samantha Irby
-
The New One
- Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad
- By: Mike Birbiglia, J. Hope Stein
- Narrated by: Mike Birbiglia, J. Hope Stein
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With laugh-out-loud funny parenting observations, the New York Times best-selling author and award-winning comedian delivers a book that is perfect for anyone who has ever raised a child, been a child, or refuses to stop acting like one. Along with hilarious and poignant stories he has never shared before, this audiobook is sprinkled with poetry Jen wrote as she navigated the same rocky shores of new parenthood.
-
-
5 whining hours from formerly-uproarious comedian
- By Thomas Cook on 06-20-20
By: Mike Birbiglia, and others
-
Sh*tty Mom
- The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us
- By: Karen Moline, Mary Ann Zoellner, Alicia Ybarbo, and others
- Narrated by: Laurie Kilmartin
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sh*tty Mom is the ultimate parenting guide, written by four moms who have seen it all. As hilarious as it is universal, each chapter presents a common parenting scenario with advice on how to get through it in the easiest and most efficient way possible. With chapters such as "How to Sleep Until 9 A.M. Every Weekend" and "When Seeing an Infant Triggers a Mental Illness That Makes You Want to Have Another Baby," as well as a Sh*tty Mom quiz, this is a must-have, laugh-out-loud funny audiobook for the sh*tty parent in all of us.
-
-
Would not recommend this book to anyone
- By Anonymous User on 09-14-18
By: Karen Moline, and others
-
More than Enough
- Grow Your Confidence, Banish Burn-Out and Love Your Homeschool Life
- By: Kara Stephenson Anderson
- Narrated by: Kara Stephenson Anderson
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Homeschooling isn't always easy. There are hiccups and bumps, and there will be plenty of times that we doubt if we are really capable of teaching our kids well. In More than Enough, unexpected homeschooler of 12 years Kara Stephenson Anderson shares with warmth and honesty about real-life homeschooling. Written for any parent - those brand new to homeschooling and those who have been at this for years, More than Enough is a guide for putting connection ahead of perfection, letting go of standards and expectations, and living a life of learning and love together.
-
-
So So Good
- By Anonymous Reader on 01-25-22
-
I'll Show Myself Out
- Essays on Midlife and Motherhood
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An instant New York Times bestseller, I'll Show Myself Out is the eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed debut You’ll Grow Out of It.
-
-
Complete sanctimommy navel gaze
- By NJVJ on 05-05-22
By: Jessi Klein
-
Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
-
-
A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
-
Don't Lick the Minivan
- And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
- By: Leanne Shirtliffe
- Narrated by: Trudie Kessler
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
-
-
I Guess You Had to Be There?
- By Sara on 09-08-14
-
Mom Babble
- The Messy Truth About Motherhood
- By: Mary Katherine Backstrom, Meredith Masony - foreword
- Narrated by: Mary Katherine Backstrom
- Length: 3 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mary Katherine Backstrom spends her days mending booboos, conquering the boogie man, comforting heartaches, laughing at knock-knock jokes, cooking pancakes, throwing baseballs, and mopping muddy floors. In other words she spends her days relishing in the beautiful, constant noise that is a life with children. In Mom Babble, Mary Katherine (MK) Backstrom, founder and personality behind the Mom Babble online community, offers up hope, humor, and spiritual inspiration to families in the trenches of parenthood.
-
-
she's the friend we need
- By Davis Family on 07-04-20
By: Mary Katherine Backstrom, and others
What listeners say about I Want My Epidural Back
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Lane Zachary
- 04-19-16
another book already!! Karen is my new role mode!
Loved every single minute of this book, if you're even on the fence about the book just get it you will not be disappointed!!! I love this woman!!!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Allison M. Billet
- 04-08-16
A definite listen, for all us "mediocre" moms!!!
I very rarely will actually write a review, I usually just click the stars and move on.... But if you have any sense of humor, kids less than 6ish, and constantly wonder if you're the only bat shit crazy mom that thinks they way to do, than this book is for you!!! I swear it's like she took actual pieces of my life and put them into a book! So many truly laugh out loud moments- and very refreshing to know I'm not the only "mediocre" mommy out there! I listened to her first book also, and really enjoyed it- but this one, was absolutely hysterical!! Can't wait to read all her adventures in her next phase of parenting!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
- Dee
- 03-27-17
must for moms
fabulous ! Please write more books . This is for all moms who think they aren't good enough . Don't wry this will help you see your not alone .
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- PCF
- 05-19-19
Hilarious!
Loved this book! Too funny to stop listening. I listened straight through once I got it.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Lynsey A
- 04-15-16
worlds okayest mom
listened on my way from chicago to arizona for vacation. so much laughter, chuckles. relatable moments. etc etc etc!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Thandi Lamprecht
- 11-10-16
Thoroughly enjoyable
Great book if you feel like something light and funny. Hilarious anecdotes, told well, so go ahead and enjoy.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kristin E
- 04-07-16
Awesome
I loved it! Great follow-up to I heart my little a-holes. I thought it was hilarious. I don't have kids of my own but I do have nieces and nephews I'm around a lot so I could still relate to the stories.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Nicole
- 11-14-18
Funny read
I enjoyed the book and love following the Babysideburns blogs.my only issue was how she dragged out parts,it just seemed like she was adding fluff to bulk the book up. Lots of laugh out loud moments so I would definitely recommend it to other moms and dads out there. #funny,#parenting,#feelgood,#satire,#mommymoments,#tagsgiving,#sweepstakes
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- AngS
- 05-10-16
Entertaining book about being a Mom
I went through a wide array of emotions. I didn't like some of the terms and language she used in reference to her kids, but I did like some of the ideas that she shared. It's nice to know another style of parenting and I did enjoy her bare all unfiltered narration.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- shaun
- 04-07-16
LOVE!!
Feel like pulling your hair out? Then download this book, lock yourself in the bathroom away from the kids and hubby and start to relax while you laugh your ass off! Karen I love you! And others should also!! She is funny, caring, truthful, a little crazy. and just all around amazing!! She helps remind us parents that yes there are ups and downs in raising kids but it's okay to wonder wtf sometimes. I relate to it all so much my husband Asks if I wrote this book as he listened in lol. I feel 100% better knowing I'm not the only one that wonders if I'll make it! So thank you Karen for having the b*lls to write it all down and share with the world!!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!