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I Need Dis... No the F' You Don't
- Narrated by: ML De Blasi
- Length: 1 hr and 56 mins
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I Need Dis... No the F' You Don't
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Publisher's summary
Disclaimer: The following content contains coarse language, crude humor, and should not be listened to by anyone. Not for the faint of heart, easily offended, or those who don’t appreciate the F-bomb.
Cryptic
Sarcastic
To the point (eventually.)
Nicolette is at it again! This isn’t your average self-help book. In fact, it isn’t a self-help book at all - more like a messy slew of words and past personal experiences that have been typed and formatted into a comedic side quest. These stories and passages might possibly help the listener learn about the daily pandemic of thinking that we need to fill our lives with mindless, materialistic possessions. That if you’re not happy and receiving recognition or gratification that you’re a failure.
A book about happiness and the lengths we'll go to make ourselves miserable trying to get a taste of it.
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By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
-
1 out of 5 stars
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,173
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,061
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,057
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Things No One Else Can Teach Us
- Turning Losses into Lessons
- By: Humble the Poet
- Narrated by: Humble the Poet
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 283
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 246
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Story5 out of 5 stars 243
Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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4 out of 5 stars
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HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- By jaga on 11-04-19
By: Humble the Poet
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 431
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 364
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Story4 out of 5 stars 363
In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,805
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,581
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,569
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 167
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 145
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 146
Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,179
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,017
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,013
The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,610
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,019
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,989
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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Seven Deadly Sins
- Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,065
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 968
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 961
For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
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Jay's Journal
- By: Anonymous, Dr. Beatice Sparks - Edited by
- Narrated by: Ramon De Ocampo
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 73
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 61
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 61
Jay was a sweet, bright high school student who cared about his grades and his friends. He had ambitions. He was happy. And he thought he could handle anything. He was wrong. When Jay falls in with a crowd that's dabbling in drugs and the occult, he finds himself in over his head and doing things he never thought possible.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not a Real Story!
- By L.J. on 10-18-22
By: Anonymous, and others
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Drinking and Tweeting
- And Other Brandi Blunders
- By: Brandi Glanville, Leslie Bruce
- Narrated by: Brandi Glanville
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 157
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 141
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 141
Fans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, but the lovable housewife also shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Who edited this?
- By Jessica on 11-02-20
By: Brandi Glanville, and others
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 197
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 183
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 183
For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
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This Is Gonna Hurt
- Music, Photography, and Life Through the Distorted Lens of Nikki Sixx
- By: Nikki Sixx
- Narrated by: Nikki Sixx
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 730
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 634
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 631
This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography And Life Through The Distorted Lens Of Nikki Sixx, is all Nikki Sixx. It is a collection of compelling photography and stories that capture the rage, love, optimism, darkness, and determination that shape his work.
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5 out of 5 stars
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MUST HAVE!!
- By Yvonne on 05-28-11
By: Nikki Sixx
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Sparkle
- The Girl's Guide to Living a Deliciously Dazzling, Wildly Effervescent, Kick-Ass Life
- By: Cara Alwill Leyba
- Narrated by: Cara Alwill Leyba
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 151
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 125
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 123
As women, we have become professional self-critics. We've become so convinced by society that we need to attain a level of perfection that just isn't real. Whether it's trying to get skinnier, look younger, get that promotion, please our parents, get fuller lips or rid ourselves of cellulite - we're on a never-ending mission to change and it always winds up making us feel like crap. In this straight-up girlfriend's guide, lifestylist and wellness coach Cara Alwill Leyba encourages women to discover what makes them sparkle so that they can design the lives they desire and deserve.
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3 out of 5 stars
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recovering alcoholics avoid
- By Raven Elise on 08-22-19
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The Very Worst Missionary
- A Memoir or Whatever
- By: Jamie Wright
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 316
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,719
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,522
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,514
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 62,328
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54,028
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53,746
As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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3 out of 5 stars
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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She Memes Well
- By: Quinta Brunson
- Narrated by: Quinta Brunson
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 782
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 694
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Story5 out of 5 stars 693
From comedian Quinta Brunson (creator and star of Abbott Elementary) comes a deeply personal and funny collection of essays about trying to make it when you're struggling, the importance of staying true to your roots, and how she's redefined humor online. In her debut essay collection, Quinta applies her trademark humor and heart to discuss what it was like to go from a girl who loved the World Wide Web to a girl whose face launched a thousand memes. This special Audible edition includes never-before-heard details about the making of Abbott Elementary.
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5 out of 5 stars
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That moment you know you’re a TEACHER…
- By chrissybrown on 09-19-22
By: Quinta Brunson