Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
The Definitive How-To Guide
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Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
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Narrated by:
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Karen Kilgariff
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Georgia Hardstark
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Paul Giamatti
About this listen
This program is read by the authors, with Paul Giamatti, and includes sections recorded in front of a live audience.
The highly anticipated first book by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, the voices behind the number-one hit podcast My Favorite Murder!
Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation.
In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being "nice" or "helpful." They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful cultural and societal issues with fierce empathy and unapologetic frankness.
"My Favorite Murder started as a way for Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark to work through their fears. Now it’s a worldwide community.... Even its darkest moments are lightened by Karen and Georgia's effortlessly funny banter and genuine empathy." (RollingStone.com)
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2019 Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark (P)2019 Macmillan AudioWarning: This Video Contains Spoilers
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Interview: Listen in as the creators of the hit podcast My Favorite Murder and the murderino movement share how their new memoir, Stay Sexy and Don't Get Murdered: The Definitive How-To Guide, perfectly reflects their special blend of true-crime obsession and self-care.
- Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
- It was kind of intimidating for me to finally [narrate] and I’m such a fan of so many really great Audible narrators. --Georgia Hardstark.
Editor's Pick
We laughed. We cried. As an homage to their favorite podcast, instead of arm-wrestling over who would review the highly anticipated Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered, editors Kat and Sam channeled their inner Karen and Georgia and told each other what they loved about this listen. Kat: Sam, what surprised you most about this memoir? SSDGM—goodbye!
We both insisted on doing this write-up.
Sam: Actually—the lack of gruesome details. And it was refreshing! There’s no shortage of awesome true crime to listen to and watch right now, so I actually appreciated the fact that this memoir was not so directly about true crime. I felt like I got the chance to get to know these ladies a bit better. And they do go into their true crime origin stories, so I still got to share some of that fellow murderino kinship with them. What about you, Kat?
Kat: I was a little nervous about how their off-the-cuff charm would translate into a scripted, edited work of Literature. But they nailed it. They write how they speak (saltily!), and they intersperse the studio sessions with live readings, surprise cameos, and sweet Q&As between K&G. NEED FOR RANDOM BANTER, FULFILLED. And it goes without saying that audio is the medium of choice for this memoir. Should we each name our favorite parts?
Sam: Yes! I absolutely loved Georgia’s top 10 takeaways from therapy. As someone who has also been going to and praising the benefits of therapy my whole life, I found myself both nodding along and learning some new mantras, like "Motivation isn’t necessary. You just have to do it."
Kat: Ooh, so true. I’m always a sucker for "drunk Karen" and her stories of humiliation and general life don’ts, so I loved her analogy about how drinking is like getting into a hot tub with your funnest friends—till it gets cold and extremely not cute. It’s a hilarious metaphor that really works, and she sneaks in some deep wisdom along the way.
Sam: Drunk Karen, always a gem.
Kat: Any final takeaways about SSDGM?
Sam: Just like the podcast, I felt like there was just something special about this listen. I felt like K&G really opened up here in a more nuanced, deeply personal way than they ever have before. There were so many "same" moments for me, and I honestly could have listened for seven more hours.
Kat: I agree, the level of vulnerability is so inspiring. I’m continually impressed by what these women have brought to the world—I look forward to future academic research on "f**k politeness"—and I can’t wait to see what they do next. Also, I cried, and I am NOT a crier. 11/10 would listen again.
Featured Article: The Best True Crime Audiobooks for Your Inner Detective
The best true crime audiobooks will have you on the edge of your seat—whether the story divulges details about well-known serial killers or unidentified villains of unsolved crimes. You won’t be able to stop listening as each mystery unravels, especially when these fascinating, gripping tales are read by some of the most captivating voices in audio. Here are the best true crime audiobooks to get your heart racing.
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Sober Stick Figure
- A Memoir
- By: Amber Tozer
- Narrated by: Amber Tozer
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 245
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 218
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Story4 out of 5 stars 216
Sober Stick Figure is a memoir from stand-up comedian Amber Tozer, chronicling her life as an alcoholic - starting with her first drink at the age of seven - and her eventual recovery. Amber writes about the crazy and harsh truths of being raised by alcoholics, becoming one herself, stagnating in denial for years, and finally getting sober.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Author's voice unbearable
- By Kylee on 12-09-16
By: Amber Tozer
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,822
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,493
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,438
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
- And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
- By: Tara Schuster
- Narrated by: Tara Schuster
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,645
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,403
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,398
By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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1 out of 5 stars
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 85
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 77
One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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Something She's Not Telling Us
- A Novel
- By: Darcey Bell
- Narrated by: Vivienne Leheny, Carly Robins, Pete Simonelli, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 196
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 174
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 174
Charlotte has everything in life that she ever could have hoped for: a doting, artistic husband, a small-but-thriving flower shop, and her sweet, smart five-year-old daughter, Daisy. Her relationship with her mother might be strained, but the distance between them helps. And her younger brother Rocco may have horrible taste in women, but when he introduces his new girlfriend to Charlotte and her family, they are cautiously optimistic that she could be The One. Daisy seems to love Ruth, and she can’t be any worse than the klepto Rocco brought home the last time.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Should be "Something Almost Happened"
- By Kimberly Wasilewski on 05-03-20
By: Darcey Bell
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4 out of 5 stars 34
Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Sober Stick Figure
- A Memoir
- By: Amber Tozer
- Narrated by: Amber Tozer
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 245
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 218
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 216
Sober Stick Figure is a memoir from stand-up comedian Amber Tozer, chronicling her life as an alcoholic - starting with her first drink at the age of seven - and her eventual recovery. Amber writes about the crazy and harsh truths of being raised by alcoholics, becoming one herself, stagnating in denial for years, and finally getting sober.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Author's voice unbearable
- By Kylee on 12-09-16
By: Amber Tozer
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,822
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,493
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,438
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,811
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,586
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,574
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,738
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,537
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,529
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,742
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,139
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,109
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 539
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 488
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Story4 out of 5 stars 489
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,038
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 923
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 913
Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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She Memes Well
- By: Quinta Brunson
- Narrated by: Quinta Brunson
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 848
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 755
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Story5 out of 5 stars 754
From comedian Quinta Brunson (creator and star of Abbott Elementary) comes a deeply personal and funny collection of essays about trying to make it when you're struggling, the importance of staying true to your roots, and how she's redefined humor online. In her debut essay collection, Quinta applies her trademark humor and heart to discuss what it was like to go from a girl who loved the World Wide Web to a girl whose face launched a thousand memes. This special Audible edition includes never-before-heard details about the making of Abbott Elementary.
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5 out of 5 stars
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That moment you know you’re a TEACHER…
- By chrissybrown on 09-19-22
By: Quinta Brunson
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 162
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 77
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Story4 out of 5 stars 78
I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 867
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 796
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 795
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 68
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
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Permanent Midnight
- A Memoir (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Jerry Stahl, Nic Sheff - foreword
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl, Scott Merriman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 86
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 83
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 82
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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What I Carry
- By: Jennifer Longo
- Narrated by: Reba Buhr
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 94
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 89
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Story5 out of 5 stars 88
Growing up in foster care, Muir has lived in many houses. And if she's learned one thing, it is to Pack. Light. Carry only what fits in a suitcase. Toothbrush? Yes. Socks? Yes. Emotional attachment to friends? Foster families? A boyfriend? Nope! There's no room for any additional baggage. Muir has just one year left before she ages out of the system. One year before she's free. One year to avoid anything - or anyone - that could get in her way. Then she meets Francine. And Kira. And Sean. And everything changes.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Enlightening
- By Kindle Customer on 06-09-21
By: Jennifer Longo