Hollywood Animal

A Memoir

By: Joe Eszterhas

Narrated by: Scott Brick

He spent his earliest years in post-WWII refugee camps. He came to America and grew up in Cleveland - stealing cars, rolling drunks, battling priests, nearly going to jail. He became the screenwriter of the worldwide hits Basic Instinct, Jagged Edge, and Flashdance. He also wrote the legendary disasters Showgirls and Jade. The rebellion never ended, even as his films went on to gross more than a billion dollars at the box office and he became the most famous - or infamous - screenwriter in Hollywood.

Joe Eszterhas is a complex and paradoxical figure: part outlaw and outsider combined with equal parts romantic and moralist. More than one person has called him “the devil.” He has been referred to as “the most reviled man in America.” But Time asked, “If Shakespeare were alive today, would his name be Joe Eszterhas?” and he was the first screenwriter picked as one of the movie industry’s 100 Most Powerful People.

Although he is often accused of sexism and misogyny, his wife is his best friend and equal partner. Considered an apostle of sex and violence, he is a churchgoer who believes in the power of prayer. For many years the ultimate symbol of Hollywood excess, he has moved his family to Ohio and immersed himself in the Midwestern lifestyle he so values. Controversial, fearless, extremely talented, and totally unpredictable, the author of the best-selling American Rhapsody and National Book Award nominee Charlie Simpson’s Apocalypse has surprised us yet again: he has written a memoir like no other.

On one level, Hollywood Animal is a shocking and often devastating look inside the movie business. It intimately explores the concept of fame and gives us a never-before-seen look at the famous. Eszterhas reveals the fights, the deals, the extortions, the backstabbing, and the sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll world that is Hollywood. But there are many more levels to this extraordinary work.

It is the story of a street kid who survives a life filled with obstacles and pain...a chronicle of a love affair that is sensual, glorious, and unending...an excruciatingly detailed look at a man facing down the greatest enemy he’s ever fought: the cancer inside him...and perhaps most important, Hollywood Animal is the heartbreaking story of a father and son that defines the concepts of love and betrayal.

This is a book that will shock you and make you laugh, anger you and move you to tears. It is pure Joe Eszterhas - a raw, spine-chilling celebration of the human spirit.

©2004 Joe Eszterhas (P)2004 Books on Tape, Inc.

Critic reviews

"The story about Mr. Eszterhas and his father, buried at the heart of Hollywood Animal, is a powerful and affecting one." (The New York Times)

Joe Eszterhas is the Id of the American boomer

He would think that is a compliment, but it’s really not lmao. I enjoyed this book! He’s full of shit, and clearly a misogynist, but there’s some great stories here.

Loved this one!

I listen to these at work. This one, although long at 28 1/2 hours, kept my interest all the way through! I wanted more so guess I'll have to listen to it all over again soon. He tells so much about the Hollywood he knows so well. I love the details and the "dirt"! Who cares if it's all true or not? well maybe those the told on but they're not real anyhow, are they? His is yet another American success story but it fascinated me! Thanks Joe!

Hollywood Animal is Tamed!

Well written, informative, entertaining, sad and heartwarming. Extraordinarily read! Scott Brick was awesome! Thank you!

The Animal Stays in the Picture

I really enjoyed this one. I rank it right up there with the Robert Evans book. I always thought of the author as a gruff heavy-handed type, but have a newfound respect for him and his choices. The narrator on this book is excellent.

MEMO to JOE ESZTERHAS

Joe, Baby,

I just read your “H’wood Animal” script. Fantastic! Perfect! Best script ever!

The whole office loved it. A script reader peened the IT Guy with a bat. I was laughing so hard I could barely give directions to the ambulance.

Here are the changes needed before shooting: No one cares that whatshisname, the protagonist (Scott Brick?) pronounces “home run” wrong; lose that. And the ‘50’s ran too long (they dragged back then too).

You can pad the Rolling Stone gig. Maybe he covered John or Ringo – you can’t overdo The Beatles.

Market Research says the ending doesn’t work: everyone hates this guy. He can’t play Caligula for 40 years, get a sore throat, find God and then ride off into the sunset. Not a chance.

We’re thinking Obitz’s Wilshire goons track him down at a homeless shelter after his second wife’s divorce lawyer takes him for all he’s worth. The goons blow his brains out and steal seven dollars from his wallet. Whadda ya think?

We want to see 100 pages – 110 tops.

Love ya man!

Let’s do Chili’s next time you’re in Modesto. We’ll go over my latest script.

LIFE IS, INDEED, STRANGE

From the original Hollywood-bad-boy writer to a born-again militant non-smoker. Life is, indeed, strange. A very long book BUT loaded with really great, iconic stories of the famous and infamous flawed, sometimes fatally flawed, Hollywood characters. Joe Eszterhas is a survivor who seems to have found peace but still a wounded creature. A compelling listen, and very well read.

Who knew? Joe tells a great tale...

I liked this book glad that it's out in audio though. Joe Eszterhas tells a good story. It kept my interest even if we know the ending. The narrator does a pretty good job in trying to pronounce the difficult Hungarian words.

Love me Daddy

At the core of this memoir - and I went for the unabridged version -- is the honesty behind the making of a bloated - "lets have lunch" world that is Hollywood, but here....it's grounded in from an out-siders view, that's peppered with amazingly honest on why this dude is one of the most hated.

Like everything in life, it comes back how you were raised. I love the story telling conversational aspect of the book, but I ended up having little sympathy for the writer (who ends up another Hollywood Dick, to put it nicely).

Puts the 'Me' in 'meandering'

This boat anchor has loads of puke-worthy Hollywood moments enough to scare anyone straight outta their screenwriting daydreams and right off the bottle too. Wow. I can't believe it's been 2 yrs and 4 mos since I downloaded this tome. What a romp, yes, but also, what a helium filled totally unedited self indulgence. Uneven? Yes. This is repetitive and narrative-ly structured like a snake eating its tail. I am still a couple of hours from the end and may take another year. But boy am I glad I moved 6 thousand miles away from my agent back in the 80s and never actually sold a screenplay. Joe: congrats for living long enough to find the regrets and the victories and slam them in between two covers like this; next time pay someone the big bucks to edit assertively, so it retains some narrative cohesion.

Disappointed

While I am sure this is a great book, I just cannot get into it. It jumps around from childhood to recent past and to be honest, i am not that interested in his childhood. I bought this book hoping to really get the 'goods' on hollywood. Maybe i should have bought the 'abridged' model?????