Fight Right

How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection

By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD

Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • LEARN THE 5 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL COUPLES

Conflict is the top reason couples seek help—but it's also an opportunity for greater intimacy, deeper connection, and lasting love according to this essential guide from the world’s leading relationship scientists and authors of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and Eight Dates.

“An indispensable resource that couples will use over and over again.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.

Through decades of research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders of the world-famous Love Lab, have identified the five common mistakes we make when we are at odds. In Fight Right, we learn the five secrets that help us to get back on track and harness conflict to build stronger, healthier relationships. With kindness, clarity, and a deep understanding of the struggles couples are going through, the Gottmans show us that we each have a unique conflict culture, borne of how we were raised and how we experienced past relationships, and they take us through all the possible combinations, from Avoiders, to Validators, to Volatiles, and how they can best work together.

Fight Right is an essential resource that will help couples escape the win-or-lose mentality in favor of a collaborative approach: calming down, staying connected, and really understanding, so that our fights can bring us closer.

©2024 Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD and John Gottman, PhD (P)2024 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Conflict is inevitable in any relationship—the trick is knowing how to handle it. Difficulty navigating conflict is one of the most common reasons that couples seek help from books and professionals. They're looking for guidance, but there is surprisingly little practical, accessible information out there. So who better than John and Julie Gottman to give couples the important tools they need? This book will be an indispensable resource that couples will use over and over again.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of the “Dear Therapists” podcast

"Couples need skills to fight better, and FIGHT RIGHT is the book that all couples will want to read. Dr. John and Julie Gottman have crafted a masterful guide about the importance of fighting and the skills needed to grow from having necessary disputes. The Gottmans have spent years studying and teaching couples, and in FIGHT RIGHT, they are teaching couples how to do it right."—Nedra Glover Tawwab, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

“In a relationship, your goal is to help your partner find their purpose. John and Julie Gottman, with their decades of experience working intimately with couples, know that the road to finding your purpose and fulfilling your dreams is often through conflict. If we don’t learn how to do conflict well, we’re going to be stuck, disconnected, and unfulfilled. Couples today really need clear, compassionate, and science-based guidance in this arena, and as the world’s leading love experts, the Gottmans are the trusted voice to guide them.”—Jay Shetty, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk

Helpful and Digestible

Thank you for making this accessible and putting it together. The book was helpful and digestible.

Great for marriage

Really made me aware of fighting habits we have today and gave good ideas for approaching differently.

Every couple should read this!

I have read quite a few of the Gottman's books. This one hit home as a practical and applicable guide for all couples, at every stage in a relationship. I can't imagine the hours, days, and months we could reclaim by knowing how to work through conflict instead of wallowing in our self-pity or self-righteousness. I am excited to take this book into practice.

Awesome

Gave tools for fighting correctly to build vs hurt marriage which is awesome for couples for real

True Change!

The Gottmans offer a path for true Change in relationships! This goes far beyond talking. Their methods are based in decades of research.

I wish I read it 10 years ago

This book was an amazing guide to navigating a difficult topic that I thought could never be resolved. Thank you for giving me hope that I can make it in relationships.

No PDF's come with the book!

While the book was good and informative, other books come with the PDF's to download. This did not. So now I have to purchase the book in print too, to get the rest of the information. Bummer! Just buy the book!

50 years of Psychology Couple’s Research

This book is a MUST for every couple in the World!!!

A true milestone in couples psychology backed by 50 years of ongoing research.

Fight Rught

Beneficial to anyone with an open mind.
Well documented, well laied-out, and well read.
The narrative goes between a female voice and a male voice, leaving the listener open to multiple perspectives.

Everyone needs this

This book changed my marriage for the better. I will definitely listen again and continue to use it as the main tool in my relationship tool belt.