The Science of Trust

Emotional Attunement for Couples

De: John M. Gottman Ph.D.

Narrado por: J. Charles

For the past 35 years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.

Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect each other, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.

Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.

This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers a detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

©2012 John M. Gottman (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

A must read for all couples

This book is a must read for all couples. It has got sound research backed theories. It is easy to understand.

Very Interesting

I really enjoyed learning about how people give and receive trust. I think it is helping in my own relationships.

power information about math of trust

This book is very useful in understanding the granularity of trust, betrayal, and more. This book gives solid evidence of what works and does not work in long term happy marriages. The math of a gratifying and sustainable marriage is now available.

The First Solid Foundation for Couple's Therapy

In various classes in theory and practice of the many subtypes of therapy, couple's therapy made me throw my hands up in frustration. Every professor had their own techniques and usually vague or unstated foundations that looked to me more like choices of assumptions than a theory. This grew sharp when every professor in this type of therapy taught things contradictory with the others. Their results were dismal, with rational explanations for why.

Then I read Gottman's 'The Science of Trust' plus listened to this audiobook multiple times each and from the first reading, my view of couple's therapy changed. He has developed an extensively tested model of couple dynamics that apply across age groups, straight/gay, cultural and 40 years of data collection. It works; it makes clear predictions which so far have stood the test of time. It is nothing short of amazing. What to know why your relationship is having problems? What to know how to make it better? Read this book.

If you have a stronger math background, you can follow this with his, Mathematics of Marriage, obviously only in print and maybe e-book from Amazon.

Eye opening

It's pretty dense with a lot of math an science, but it's something that appeals to me as a reader and helps me connect with the ideas. But, the advice is invaluable. It helped me see my behavior and my partner's behavior in a new light and gave me hope that it's something that can be fixed.

Trust: the most important dynamic of a full life.

This book is one that I will recommend to every person I know who has any interest in securing and thriving in a long-term intimate relationship. I will also recommend it to all of my colleagues who want to succeed with their clients. In fact, unless you are a robot, then I would recommend this book! Trust is everything, so why not dig in deep to understand the most essential ingredient for a full and meaningful life? Gottman did not cut corners in this work, nor did he prevent himself from admitting the limitations of his research. I consider this book an immensely powerful tool as it is engaging and entertaining, while still technical: taking it far beyond the scope of the classic "Self Improvement" content one may shy away from digesting. I'm glad I invested my time, money, and energy in this book!

An eye-opening book

John Gottman did to the science of psychology what Sir Isaac Newton did to the science of physics. He's figured out the underlaying laws and has expressed them in mathematical models. He then uses the models to analyze,  explain, predict and treat relationships in ways that no-one else can. I'm sure this book will have a long lasting positive impact on my relationship.

Life changing insights

I absolutely loved every aspect of this book. it's heavy, youll want to take your time with this one, part by part. Let the chapters sink in before going on to the nexr. Life changing insightfulness. Thank you Gottman!

Good info, a bit tedious

This is my first Gottman book. I'm curious to see if they are all so tedious. While I appreciate the science and the steps inhis research, it got a bit exhausting to listen to at times. He balances this with some nice humor.

Great marriage book

Gottman is the premiere expert in the field and provides science to back his position.