F-ck Whales
Also Families, Poetry, Folksy Wisdom and You
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F-ck Whales
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Narrated by:
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Maddox
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By:
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Maddox
About this listen
A collection of satirical, crass, comedic essays from famed Internet personality and New York Times best-selling author Maddox of the infamous website The Best Page in the Universe.
In this third book from Maddox, the reigning king of Internet satire delivers a collection of humorous, unapologetic essays in the same voice that propelled him into comedic stardom. With all-new material, F-ck Whales doesn't fail to deliver on his personal brand of satire, complete with self-promotion, petty rants, and brilliant essays on anything and everything Maddox deems worthy of his ire.
©2017 Maddox (P)2017 Simon & Schuster, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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3 out of 5 stars
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Review by a Social Worker
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1 out of 5 stars
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5 out of 5 stars
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A tour de force
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 253
The straight-talking, best-selling author and Pitbull of Personal Development is back with a pithy and prescriptive guide to success. A five-time best-selling author and one of the country's leading business speakers, Larry has made a reputation for being the first to challenge the positive-attraction gurus and the law-of-attraction bozos with his commonsense approach to success. Larry doesn't sugar-coat, and he isn't afraid to make people uncomfortable, because he wants us to stop making excuses, and start getting results.
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1 out of 5 stars
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half the book is him saying "grow a pair"
- By Dustin on 01-08-14
By: Larry Winget
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Oh, the Things I Know! A Guide to Success, or, Failing That, Happiness
- By: Al Franken
- Narrated by: Al Franken
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 53
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Story4 out of 5 stars 53
What does a megasuccess like Al Franken - best selling author, Emmy-award winning television star, and honorary Ph.D. - have to say to ordinary people like you? Well, as Dr. Al himself says, "There's no point in getting advice from hopeless failures." Filled with wisdom, observations, and practical tips you can put to work right away, this is a cradle-to-grave guide to living, an easy-to-follow user's manual for human existence.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Oh The Things I Know
- By Mmday on 04-27-03
By: Al Franken
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Bozo Sapiens
- Why to Err Is Human
- By: Michael Kaplan, Ellen Kaplan
- Narrated by: Victor Bevine
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 93
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4 out of 5 stars 46
Our species, it appears, is hardwired to get things wrong in myriad different ways. Why did recipients of a loan offer accept a higher rate of interest when a pretty woman's face was printed on the flyer? Why did one poll on immigration find the most despised aliens were ones from a group that did not exist? What made four of the Air Force's best pilots fly their planes, in formation, straight into the ground?
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5 out of 5 stars
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A tour de force
- By Ivan on 07-05-11
By: Michael Kaplan, and others
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The Way of the Heathen
- Practicing Atheism in Everyday Life
- By: Greta Christina
- Narrated by: Greta Christina
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
So you're an atheist. Now what? The way we deal with life - with love and sex, pleasure and death, reality and making stuff up - can change dramatically when we stop believing in gods, souls, and afterlives. When we leave religion - or if we never had it in the first place - where do we go? With her unique blend of compassion and humor, thoughtfulness and snark, Greta Christina most emphatically does not propose a single path to a good atheist life. She offers questions to think about, ideas that may be useful, and encouragement to choose your own way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Navigating the world outside of church
- By Scott Bresinger on 01-21-17
By: Greta Christina
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An Inconvenient Book
- Real Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems (Unabridged)
- By: Glenn Beck
- Narrated by: Glenn Beck
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 513
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 138
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Story4 out of 5 stars 137
The world is a mess. It seems that everywhere listeners turn, there's another problem. What is needed now are solutions. If only there was a man who could simplify things, cut through the rhetoric, and fix everything. Then, if he was just able to put all of that insight into something that people could buy...in a store and online...man, that would great. Wait a minute!
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1 out of 5 stars
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Waste of Time and Money
- By Crystal on 04-11-09
By: Glenn Beck
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Cunt (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Inga Muscio
- Narrated by: Inga Muscio
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 51
In this fully revised anniversary edition of the classic testament to women's empowerment, Muscio explores with candidness and humor such traditional feminist issues as birth control, sexuality, jealousy between women, and prostitution with a fresh attitude for a new generation of women. Sending out a call for every woman to be the "Cuntlovin' Ruler of Her Sexual Universe", Muscio stands convention on its head by embracing the provocative and celebrating womanhood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best book ever
- By Paula Daniels on 07-28-19
By: Inga Muscio
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God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy
- By: Mike Huckabee
- Narrated by: Mike Huckabee
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 176
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 156
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 153
In Mike Huckabee's new book God, Guns, Grits and Gravy, he asks the question, "Have I been taken to a different planet than the one on which I grew up?" The New York Times best-selling author explores today's American culture, drawing from his travels as a presidential candidate to present average, small-town people and families, and their optimistic resilience in the face of hard times.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Review
- By Dorothy Ella on 02-13-15
By: Mike Huckabee
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Jonathan Pie
- Off the Record
- By: Jonathan Pie, Andrew Doyle, Tom Walker
- Narrated by: Jonathan Pie
- Length: 3 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 39
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
Want to know more about history and politics? Then you should probably go and listen to a proper audiobook. Fancy a laugh at some smutty jokes? Then go and read Viz. But if you fancy a combination of the two, this is the audiobook for you. In Off the Record, bitter and twisted leftie news reporter Jonathan Pie picks 10 of the world's worst wankers and tears them apart. Here you'll find the answers to some difficult questions. With extra swearing.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Jonathan Pie rocks!
- By vtindiegrrl on 08-05-24
By: Jonathan Pie, and others
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The Mind Club
- Who Thinks, What Feels, and Why It Matters
- By: Daniel M. Wegner, Kurt Gray
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 760
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 670
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 673
Nothing seems more real than the minds of other people. When you consider what your boss is thinking or whether your spouse is happy, you are admitting them into the "mind club". It's easy to assume other humans can think and feel, but what about a cow, a computer, a corporation? What kinds of minds do they have? Daniel M. Wegner and Kurt Gray are award-winning psychologists who have discovered that minds - while incredibly important - are a matter of perception.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Who is the self in me? Am I part of something bigger?
- By Philomath on 03-24-16
By: Daniel M. Wegner, and others
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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
- Shocking but Utterly True Facts
- By: Cracked.com
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,204
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,098
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,094
You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Buenas fabulas de humor
- By Cynthia on 10-27-14
By: Cracked.com
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Virus of the Mind
- The New Science of the Meme
- By: Richard Brodie
- Narrated by: Richard Brodie
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 260
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 174
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 173
Virus of the Mind is the first popular work devoted to the science of memetics, a controversial new field that transcends psychology, biology, anthropology, and cognitive science. Memetics is the science of memes, the invisible but very real DNA of human society. Here, the author carefully builds on the work of scientists Richard Dawkins, Douglas Hofstadter, Daniel Dennett, and others who have become fascinated with memes and their potential impact on our lives.
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2 out of 5 stars
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The "Memes Explain Everything" Meme.
- By Nelson Alexander on 02-20-10
By: Richard Brodie
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Mindwise
- Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want
- By: Nicholas Epley
- Narrated by: Nicholas Epley
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 382
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 326
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Story4 out of 5 stars 319
You are a mind reader, born with an extraordinary ability to understand what others think, feel, believe, want, and know. It's a sixth sense you use every day, in every personal and professional relationship you have. At its best, this ability allows you to achieve the most important goal in almost any life: connecting, deeply and intimately and honestly, to other human beings. At its worst, it is a source of misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict, leading to damaged relationships and broken dreams. How good are you at knowing the minds of others?
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2 out of 5 stars
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Finally gave up - no real point
- By Thomas on 05-12-14
By: Nicholas Epley
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Gumption
- Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America's Gutsiest Troublemakers
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,701
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,230
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,208
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Swagger and mirth
- By Tamara Shope on 09-14-15
By: Nick Offerman
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How to Be Black
- By: Baratunde Thurston
- Narrated by: Baratunde Thurston
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,149
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,036
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,035
Beyond memoir, this guidebook offers practical advice on everything from "How to Be the Black Friend" to "How to Be the (Next) Black President" to "How to Celebrate Black History Month". This is a humorous, intelligent, and audacious guide that challenges and satirizes the so-called experts, purists, and racists who purport to speak for all Black people. With honest storytelling and biting wit, Baratunde plots a path not just to blackness, but one open to anyone interested in simply "how to be".
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny yet insightful!
- By Theodore on 02-15-12
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The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking
- How Irrational Beliefs Keep Us Happy, Healthy, and Sane
- By: Matthew Hutson
- Narrated by: Matthew Hutson, Don Hagen
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Story4 out of 5 stars 51
In this witty and perceptive debut, a former editor at Psychology Today shows us how magical thinking makes life worth living. Psychologists have documented a litany of cognitive biases and explained their positive functions. Now, Matthew Hutson shows us that even the most hardcore skeptic indulges in magical thinking all the time - and it's crucial to our survival. Drawing on evolution, cognitive science, and neuroscience, Hutson shows us that magical thinking has been so useful to us that it's hardwired into our brains.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Highly enjoyable
- By David R Pinsof on 05-01-12
By: Matthew Hutson
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Feminists Don't Wear Pink and Other Lies
- Amazing Women on What the F-Word Means to Them
- By: Scarlett Curtis - curator
- Narrated by: Rosie Akerman, Pippa Bennett-Warner, Grace Campbell, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
A diverse group of celebrities, activists, and artists open up about what feminism means to them, with the goal of helping listeners come to their own personal understanding of the word.
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5 out of 5 stars
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4.5/5 Estrellas
- By Airy on 01-27-21
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E-Cubed
- Nine More Energy Experiments That Prove Manifesting Magic and Miracles Is Your Full-Time Gig
- By: Pam Grout
- Narrated by: Pam Grout
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 539
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 456
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 448
With nine new experiments and more tips on how to keep the gates of the world's largesse and abundance wide open, this audiobook is chock-full of incontrovertible evidence that the universe is just waiting for us to catch up, just waiting for us to begin using the energy that has always been available for our enjoyment and well-being.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Infinite Field of Potentiality
- By CHARLES on 11-22-15
By: Pam Grout
What listeners say about F-ck Whales
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Esteban Torre
- 10-27-17
F*ck you too.
Liked it, maybe some points were a little weak. That's most likely due overexposure to Ruckas arguments.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Ismail Cherri
- 10-26-17
Excellent essay
I loved it and fuck you if you didn't. Having Maddox ranting in my ears for more than 4 hours was both entertaining and enlightening.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- AMB
- 10-22-17
It's OK.
Been a fan of Maddox since the late 90's. First half of the book is classic Maddox and very funny. Second half of the book seems to take a nose dive into social justice conversation points. It is well written and I am sure others will love it. Just not my type of book.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Mark A Delmege
- 05-29-18
a hilariously fun read!
hilarious essays from my favorite childhood internet hero. I agreed with almost every single essay I read even though I believe it was deliberately over-exaggerated.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- D W
- 10-17-17
F*ck Reviews
Worth it just to hear the publisher's classical music and voiceover actress say the title
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Bim Henderson
- 09-27-18
Sprinted from the gate, but...
...turned into a long, monologous bitchfest of unlaundered opinions regarding everything on the planet. Still, Maddox is undeniably brilliant - sporadically. Worth the purchase. Just make sure you have lots of patience.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tech w/Ced
- 12-06-17
Fuck this book
Fuck this book and fuck this review. It's a great read. Read it like a dictionary of contrary-ism.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jessica
- 11-07-18
Enlightening and Hilarious
Whales are terrible, but this book is not. I recommend this audiobook to anybody who has ears.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jake Hardin
- 08-08-19
another great book by one of my favorite satirists
maddox reading his own material is truly a dream come true. well done yet again sir
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 10-27-17
Yes
YES YES YES YES YES YES
THANK you, NO problem.
(P.S. It's hidden in the liquor cabinet)
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2 people found this helpful