Theft by Finding
Diaries (1977-2002)
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Narrated by:
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David Sedaris
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By:
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David Sedaris
About this listen
One of the most anticipated books of 2017: New York Times Book Review, New York's Vulture, Bustle, and BookRiot.
From best-selling author David Sedaris, for the first time in print: selections from the diaries that are the source of his remarkable autobiographical essays.
For nearly four decades, David Sedaris has faithfully kept a diary in which he records his thoughts and observations on the odd and funny events he witnesses. Anyone who has attended a live Sedaris event knows that his diary readings are often among the most joyful parts of the evening. But never before have they been available in print. Now, in Theft by Finding, Sedaris brings us his favorite entries. From deeply poignant to laugh-out-loud funny, these selections reveal with new intimacy a man longtime fans only think they know. Tender, hilarious, illuminating, and endlessly captivating, Theft by Finding offers a rare look into the mind of one of our generation's greatest comic geniuses.
©2017 David Sedaris (P)2017 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Editors Select, May 2017
David Sedaris cut his teeth at NPR, and his popularity is due in large part to his excellent voice. I had forgotten how good his delivery is before listening to this one. Having read two of his books previously, I only knew that I could expect high quality and versatile writing. And boy does he deliver. In reciting the best of 25 years of his life, he draws together a keenly perceptive image of America in all its contradictory and ludicrous forms. He can tell you a story in one line and craft a sense of character in even less. His characterizations are, for that matter, nothing short of brilliant - bolstered by an amazing ability to impersonate accents and dialectical quirks. Just the fact that he remembers each person so precisely is awe-inspiring and lends real weight to the raw yet technically refined anecdotes from this expert memoirist. —Michael, Audible Editor
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In this breathtakingly inventive autobiographical novel, Eileen Myles transforms life into a work of art. Told in her audacious voice, made vivid and immediate in her lyrical language, Chelsea Girls cobbles together memories of Myles's 1960s Catholic upbringing with an alcoholic father, her volatile adolescence, her unabashed "lesbianity," and her riotous pursuit of survival as a poet in 1970s New York.
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fascinatingly skanky
- By Megon J. Walker on 07-15-16
By: Eileen Myles
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Bright Lights, Big City
- By: Jay McInerney
- Narrated by: Daniel Passer
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The tragicomedy of a young man in New York City, a writer, never named, who works as a fact-checker for a prestigious magazine. He struggles with the reality of his mother's death, alienation, and the seductive pull of drugs and a vibrant nightlife.
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Curiously, mundanely real
- By Amber on 01-07-12
By: Jay McInerney
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She's Come Undone
- By: Wally Lamb
- Narrated by: Linda Stephens
- Length: 18 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Dolores Price. She's 13, wise-mouthed but wounded, having bid her childhood goodbye. Beached like a whale in front of her bedroom TV, she spends the next few years nourishing herself with the Mallomars, potato chips, and Pepsi her anxious mother supplies. When she finally rolls into young womanhood at 257 pounds, Dolores is no stronger and life is no kinder. But this time she's determined to rise to the occasion and give herself one more chance before really going belly-up.
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Really disappointing narrator!
- By Jessica Williams on 01-21-12
By: Wally Lamb
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The Hour I First Believed
- A Novel
- By: Wally Lamb
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 25 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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When high-school teacher Caelum Quirk and his wife, Maureen, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, while Caelum is away, Maureen finds herself in the library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed. Miraculously, she survives. But when Caelum and Maureen flee to an illusion of safety on the Quirk family's Connecticut farm, they discover that the effects of chaos are not easily put right.
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excellent all around yarn
- By G. on 01-10-09
By: Wally Lamb
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My Friend Leonard
- By: James Frey
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Perhaps the most unconventional and literally breathtaking father-son story you'll ever read, My Friend Leonard pulls you immediately and deeply into a relationship as unusual as it is inspiring. The father figure is Leonard, the high-living, recovering coke addict, "West Coast Director of a large Italian-American finance firm" (read: mobster) who helped to keep James Frey clean in A Million Little Pieces.
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Great book
- By Kathy on 11-04-05
By: James Frey
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Fairyland
- A Memoir of My Father
- By: Alysia Abbott
- Narrated by: Alysia Abbott
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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A beautiful, vibrant memoir about growing up motherless in 1970s and 80s San Francisco with an openly gay father. After his wife dies in a car accident, bisexual writer and activist Steve Abbott moves with his two-year-old daughter to San Francisco. There they discover a city in the midst of revolution, bustling with gay men in search of liberation - few of whom are raising a child. Steve throws himself into San Francisco's vibrant cultural scene.
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Great representation of the time
- By AvidReader22 on 06-07-19
By: Alysia Abbott
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Bitter Is the New Black
- Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Lancaster was living the sweet life-until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job-hell, she had the perfect life - and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.
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Intolerable
- By Betty on 09-12-09
By: Jen Lancaster
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Tracey Ullman?
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Sedaris is the gay Mark Twain.
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Welcome to the hilarious, strange, elegiac, outrageous world of David Sedaris. In Naked, Sedaris turns the current mania for the memoir on its proverbial ear, mining the exceedingly rich terrain of his life, his family, and his unique worldview, a sensibility at once take-no-prisoners sharp and deeply charitable.
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Not the whole book
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Tracey Ullman?
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Once again, David Sedaris brings together a collection of essays so uproariously funny and profoundly moving that his legions of fans will fall for him all over again. He tests the limits of love when Hugh lances a boil from his backside, and pushes the boundaries of laziness when, finding the water shut off in his house in Normandy, he looks to the water in a vase of fresh cut flowers to fill the coffee machine.
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Sedaris is the gay Mark Twain.
- By Steve on 06-02-04
By: David Sedaris
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Naked
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Not the whole book
- By Gabriela on 03-09-13
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Calypso
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If you've ever laughed your way through David Sedaris's cheerfully misanthropic stories, you might think you know what you're getting with Calypso. You'd be wrong. When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And it's as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself. With Calypso, Sedaris sets his formidable powers of observation - and dark humor - toward middle age and mortality.
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Excellent, as always
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Great except for an audio glitch
- By Rynnkins on 06-01-22
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In David Sedaris' world, no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer, Sedaris' collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves.
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Be warned- Santaland Diaries is NOT included
- By David on 06-05-12
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Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk
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This collection of sharply observed animal-themed tales is a delight, told with David Sedaris's trademark blend of hilarity and goodnaturedness. Though the characters may not be human, the situations in these stories bear an uncanny resemblance to the insanity of our own everyday interactions.
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Narration Matters
- By adam on 10-05-10
By: David Sedaris
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Themes and Variations
- An Essay
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Dismissed by a bored author at a book signing, a betrayed young man named David Sedaris made a vow. Someday, when it was his turn at the table, he’d connect with his readers. The experience has been even more revealing than he’d hoped.In this hilarious and perceptive essay, the celebrated humorist reflects on the unusual patterns of forced socialization between author and audience, and the obligations and sometimes surprising returns of not-so-chance encounters with strangers: jokes, secrets, insights, and even charity.
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It’s true!
- By N. Charest on 04-28-20
By: David Sedaris
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Me Talk Pretty One Day
- By: David Sedaris
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- Abridged
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David Sedaris' collection of essays - including live recordings! - tells a most unconventional life story. With every clever turn of a phrase, Sedaris brings a view and a voice like no other to every unforgettable encounter. You can also listen to Sedaris in an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air.
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Subtly Funny Musings on Life Experiences
- By FanB14 on 09-03-12
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Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules (Unabridged Selections)
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Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules is a collection of short stories, some classic, others impending, selected and introduced by David Sedaris.
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Great stories but only 5 of 17 are included
- By Terri Kirk on 07-13-12
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David Sedaris Live at Carnegie Hall
- By: David Sedaris
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- Original Recording
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If you are driving, pull over. If you are at work, close your door, unless you don't mind your colleagues seeing you doubled over, in tears, on your office floor. With this recording, taped before a delirious sold out audience at Carnegie Hall, you are there as David Sedaris performs new stories from his upcoming book. A parrot who mimics an ice maker, lovers quarreling over a rubber hand, and a Santa Claus who moonlights from his job as bishop of Turkey, the cast of characters is like no other.
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Too little for too much
- By Jim on 11-05-03
By: David Sedaris
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Holidays on Ice
- Featuring Six New Stories
- By: David Sedaris
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David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favorites as the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); and what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow").
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Best When In SantaLand
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David Sedaris
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LIVE recordings of new, previously unreleased David Sedaris stories!
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Overpriced and Undergood
- By Kelley on 12-12-09
By: David Sedaris
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Pretty Ugly
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Meet Anna Von Ogre, a delightful monstrosity. When Anna’s attempt to gross out the family backfires, she finds herself stuck with a face of such beauty that even the neighbors are repulsed. How the sickeningly adorable, rosy-cheeked little girl finds her inner ugly again is the subject of a hilarious fable for the ages.
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Engaging little story
- By Trace on 05-12-24
By: David Sedaris, and others
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Toil & Trouble
- A Memoir
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Augusten Burroughs, Gabra Zackman, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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For as long as Augusten Burroughs could remember, he knew things he shouldn't have known. He manifested things that shouldn't have come to pass. And he told exactly no one about this, save one person: his mother. His mother reassured him that it was all perfectly normal, that he was descended from a long line of witches, going back to the days of the early American colonies. And that this family tree was filled with witches. It was a bond that he and his mother shared - until the day she left him in the care of her psychiatrist to be raised in his family.
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Slime Flux
- By Pamela Harvey on 10-16-19
What listeners say about Theft by Finding
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Renae Clark
- 06-05-17
Not very good
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I am a big fan of David Seders, however this was quite disappointing. A series of disjointed journal entries with little of the wit and satire of his previous work. Not worth using a credit for in my opinion.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Nancy F. Lincoln
- 06-13-17
Sedaris in progress
Such an interesting mind. Fascinating to watch Sedaris evolve as both a quirky writer and a quirky man.There is a saying that says people don't change they just get more so. I think these diaries are eloquent proof of that. If you loved David from the start of his Santa land broadcasts this new book of journal entries will just make you love him more so.
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1 person found this helpful
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- melvis
- 09-27-17
Shameless and open...as always
Honest, apathetic and droll humor. I giggled. I gasped. I LOL'd. If the millions of us in "therapy" could express ourselves this shamelessly, our therapists would not be living in the beautiful homes, driving the luxury cars, or enjoying extravagant vacations that our neuroses have purchased (without the joy of shopping for them ourselves).
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- Jyl
- 10-13-17
He has done it again!
David may be the funniest human on earth. He making me lugh like Im 6 years old!
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- Livingthedream3245
- 06-29-17
Duh
Sedaris is brilliant and hilarious in every way !
How cool to hear his daily thoughts and see how he interprets day to day experiences.
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- Sam
- 06-18-17
Life isn't just a barrel of laughs.
It's not all funny. It IS all wholly engrossing. If you don't like foul language or the sound of David's voice, why the hell are you buying this audiobook?
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- Trixi C.
- 07-06-17
Fantastic
Every time I finish one of his books I miss hearing him in my head, narrating my life. This book was beyond intriguing and often hilarious. Definitely recommend.
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- kwiksotik
- 09-13-17
Great collection of thoughts
If you're a fan of his this is really great as you can see some of his books unfold via his journals.
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- Kelly
- 11-02-17
LOVE Sedaris!
David Sedaris has incredible way of making the mundane absolutely gut-busting! Read by him makes it even funnier.
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- Shawn G.
- 07-06-17
Quietly Mesmerizing.
If you enjoyed his other books, this one is just as lovely. I will listen again.
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