East of Ealing
Brentford Trilogy, Book 3
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East of Ealing
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Narrated by:
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Robert Rankin
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By:
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Robert Rankin
About this listen
Ahead, where once had been only bombsite land, the Lateinos and Romiith building rose above Brentford. Within its cruel and jagged shadow, magnolias wilted in their window boxes and synthetic Gold Top became doorstep cheese...
Something sinister is happening east of Ealing. The prophecies of The Book of Revelation are being fulfilled. Lateinos & Romiith, a vast financial network, is changing all the rules with a plan to bar-code every living punter and dispense with old-fashioned money.
A diabolical scheme, which would not only end civilisation as we know it, but seriously interfere with drinking habits at the Flying Swan. Can Armageddon, Apocalypse and other inconveniences of the modern age be stopped by the humble likes of Pooley and Omally, even with the help of Professor Slocombe and the time-warped Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street...?
Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales. The Morning Star describes him as 'The Master of Silliness', and his publisher describes him as The Master of Far Fetched Fiction. He is the author of more than thirty novels, of which he has sold millions of copies, and he makes people laugh around the world. Robert loves going on tour, signing books for readers, and his appearances at signings and conventions are legendary, often including a stand-up routine, a song (accompanied by his 'air-ukulele'), and an always-entertaining question-and-answer session.
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Editorial reviews
The novels of British writer Robert Rankin are so out-there, so imaginative, so fantastical and hilarious, that they necessitated a new genre: "far-fetched fiction". In the third book of the Brentford Trilogy (of which there are nine books), aimless drunks Pooley and Omally must face a Satanic conspiracy that aims to barcode everyone on Earth. Who could have guessed that so many wild adventures would land on the doorstep of these two blokes' favorite bar, the Flying Swan? Robert Rankin performs his own work, lending his impeccable comic timing and amiable London accent to the caper.
Critic reviews
”He becomes funnier the more you read him” ( Independent)
”Everybody should read at least one Robert Rankin in their life” ( Daily Express)
”One of the rare guys who can always make me laugh” (Terry Pratchett)
”To the top-selling ranks of humorists such as Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, let us welcome Mr Rankin” (Tom Hutchinson, The Times)
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,471
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,348
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,345
When Brendan Doyle is flown from America to London to give a lecture on Samuel Taylor Coleridge, little does he expect that he will soon be traveling through time and meeting the poet himself. But Brendan could do without being stranded penniless in the teeming, thieving London of 1810.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Yesterday… All My Troubles Seemed So Far Away
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 06-21-16
By: Tim Powers
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Meet the Tiger
- A Simon “The Saint” Templar Novel
- By: Leslie Charteris
- Narrated by: John Rayburn
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1
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Performance1 out of 5 stars 1
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1
The fiction world of today needs a “Saint” more than it ever did. For years now that scene has been dominated by the “anti-heroes"—those grim gray operators in a sunless sub-culture where global issues are worked out with totally unemotional pragmatism, those hapless uninspired puppets manipulated and expended by ruthlessly dedicated little brothers of Big Brother. It made morbidly fascinating narrative, but it never gave anyone a lift until it climaxed in the hyper-gadgeted parodies of 007 extravaganzas.
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4 out of 5 stars
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droning
- By Kindle Customer on 04-27-24
By: Leslie Charteris
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The Hidden Oasis
- By: Paul Sussman
- Narrated by: Gordon Griffin
- Length: 20 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 151
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 96
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Story4 out of 5 stars 96
Egypt 2153 BC: 80 priests set out under cover of darkness with a mysterious object.... Albania, 1986: A plane takes off bound for the Sudan. Somewhere over the Sahara it disappears.... The present: a mummified corpse is discovered in the dunes with a roll of camera film and a clay obelisk inscribed with a hieroglyphic sign.... Three unconnected events - or so it seems.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hot and Heavy in Egypt
- By Matthew on 05-10-10
By: Paul Sussman
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Dead Man's Land
- By: Robert Ryan
- Narrated by: Richard Burnip
- Length: 14 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Story4 out of 5 stars 64
Deep in the trenches of Flanders Fields, men are dying in the thousands every day. So one more death shouldn't be a surprise. But then a body turns up with bizarre injuries, and Sherlock Holmes' former sidekick, Dr. John Watson - unable to fight for his country due to injury but able to serve it through his medical expertise - finds his suspicions raised.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Watson is wonderful, amid very grim surroundings
- By L. Gutman on 03-01-18
By: Robert Ryan
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The Mangle Street Murders
- The Gower Street Detectives, Book 1
- By: M. R. C. Kasasian
- Narrated by: Lindy Nettleton
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 820
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 737
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Story4 out of 5 stars 730
After her father dies, March Middleton has to move to London to live with her guardian, Sidney Grice, the country's most famous private detective. It is 1882, and London is at its murkiest yet most vibrant, wealthiest yet most poverty-stricken. No sooner does March arrive than a case presents itself: A young woman has been brutally murdered, and her husband is the only suspect.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Witty and clever British mystery
- By Kathi on 03-22-14
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Gold Mine
- By: Wilbur Smith
- Narrated by: Peter Noble
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
In Gold Mine, an exciting adventure from Wilbur Smith, ambitious and hard-living mining expert Rod Ironsides knows that the general managership of the Sonder Ditch gold mine is the chance of a lifetime. But the price of unquestioning obedience to the coldly obsessive genius of Dr Manfred Steyner proves impossible to pay. Both men are but unwitting tools of powerful people - for whom the control of a gold mine is only part of a dangerous plan which includes the destruction of the very mine itself....
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5 out of 5 stars
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1960s Smith Epic
- By JDD on 06-04-19
By: Wilbur Smith
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The Train to Impossible Places, Book 1: A Cursed Delivery
- By: P. G. Bell
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 57
The Impossible Postal Express is no ordinary train. It's a troll-operated delivery service that runs everywhere from ocean-bottom shipwrecks to Trollville and to space. But when this impossible train comes roaring through Suzy's living room, her world turns upside down. After sneaking on board, Suzy suddenly finds herself deputy post master aboard the train and faced with her first delivery - to the evil Lady Crepuscula. Then, the package itself begs Suzy not to deliver him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful adventure
- By ASW on 04-13-19
By: P. G. Bell
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The Monstrumologist
- By: Rick Yancey
- Narrated by: Steven Boyer
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 771
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 680
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 679
Dr. Warthrop is a scientist who tracks and studies real-life monsters. Assisted by his 12-year-old apprentice, Will Henry, Dr. Warthrop discovers a pod of Anthropophagi and launches a hunt to destroy the foul beasts.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Reader Be Warned
- By Eddie on 01-25-15
By: Rick Yancey
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Phoenix Rising
- A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel
- By: Pip Ballantine, Tee Morris
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 13 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,464
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,312
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,314
Evil is most assuredly afoot - and Britain’s fate rests in the hands of an alluring renegade... and a librarian. These are dark days indeed in Victoria’s England. Londoners are vanishing, then reappearing, washing up as corpses on the banks of the Thames, drained of blood and bone. Yet the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences - the Crown’s clandestine organization whose bailiwick is the strange and unsettling - will not allow its agents to investigate. Fearless and exceedingly lovely Eliza D. Braun, however, with her disturbing fondness for dynamite, refuses to let the matter rest...
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Steampunk - worth a listen
- By DarkFish on 05-11-12
By: Pip Ballantine, and others
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The Lost Army of Cambyses
- By: Paul Sussman
- Narrated by: Gordon Griffin
- Length: 16 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 87
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Story4 out of 5 stars 80
In 523 BC, the Persian pharaoh Cambyses dispatched an army across Egypt's western desert to destroy the oracle at Siwa. Legend has it that somewhere in the middle of the Great Dune Sea his army was overwhelmed by a sandstorm and lost forever. Two and a half millennia later, a mutilated corpse is washed up on the banks of the Nile at Luxor, an antiques dealer is savagely murdered in Cairo, and a British archaeologist is found dead at the ancient necropolis of Saqqara.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Panorama in words
- By ggmomma on 06-03-19
By: Paul Sussman
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The Iron Dragon's Daughter
- By: Michael Swanwick
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 14 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 79
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 71
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Story4 out of 5 stars 71
Named a New York Times notable book of 1994, The Iron Dragon's Daughter tells the heartrending story of a changeling child who is kidnapped to a realm of malls and machines and enslaved in a vast, infernal factory. Ultimately, she escapes and attempts to educate herself about this alien world, while being tormented by visions of the life she was denied.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Inconsistent story and makes for a poor experience
- By Martin Smith on 07-10-15
By: Michael Swanwick
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The Affinity Bridge
- A Newbury & Hobbes Investigation
- By: George Mann
- Narrated by: Simon Taylor
- Length: 9 hrs
- Abridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 143
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 109
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Story4 out of 5 stars 111
Welcome to the bizarre and dangerous world of Victorian London, a city teetering on the edge of revolution. Its people are ushering in a new era of technology, dazzled each day by unfamiliar inventions. Airships soar in the skies over the city, while ground trains rumble through the streets and clockwork automatons are programmed to carry out menial tasks in the offices of lawyers, policemen, and journalists.
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4 out of 5 stars
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nowhere near as bad as reviewed
- By Doug on 06-11-10
By: George Mann
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Hobbes
- Unhuman Series, Books I-IV
- By: Wilkie Martin
- Narrated by: Tim Campbell
- Length: 40 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 188
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 157
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 156
Hobbes: Unhuman Series, Books I-IV. It contains: I - Inspector Hobbes and the Blood, II - Inspector Hobbes and the Curse, III - Inspector Hobbes and the Gold Diggers, and IV - Inspector Hobbes and the Bones.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Value on Audible
- By Tango on 07-10-20
By: Wilkie Martin
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The Affair of the Porcelain Dog
- By: Jess Faraday
- Narrated by: Philip Battley
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 109
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Story4 out of 5 stars 108
London, 1889. For Ira Adler, former rent-boy and present plaything of crime lord Cain Goddard, stealing back the statue from Goddard's blackmailer should have been a doddle. But inside the statue is evidence that could put Goddard away for a long time under the sodomy laws, and everyone's after it, including Ira's bitter ex, Dr. Timothy Lazarus.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Brilliant book, Phenomenal audio experience!
- By 'Nathan on 04-24-13
By: Jess Faraday
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The Colour of Magic
- Discworld, Book 1
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Colin Morgan, Peter Serafinowicz, Bill Nighy
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,083
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,824
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,815
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it’s carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.
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3 out of 5 stars
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TERRIBLE Narration!
- By Kayla I on 07-08-22
By: Terry Pratchett
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The Oversight
- By: Charlie Fletcher
- Narrated by: Simon Prebble
- Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 258
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 239
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 238
Once there were hundreds of members of the Oversight, the brave souls who guard the borders between the mundane and the magic. Now there are only five. When a vagabond brings a screaming girl to the Oversight's London headquarters, she could answer their hopes for new recruit, or she could be the instrument of their downfall.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic start to a fantasy series
- By jessica on 06-01-14
By: Charlie Fletcher
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The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4 out of 5 stars 93
"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
What listeners say about East of Ealing
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Derek
- 04-02-15
Love this series.
Jim and John are at it again. I love these characters. British humor at its finest. Wish I could down a few pints at the Swan.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Maria
- 06-27-15
a convoluted end
Is there anything you would change about this book?
Quite frankly the end. I would perhaps expand a bit more on Pooley and Omaley's conclusion. Not to mention the bartime bar man.
Would you be willing to try another book from Robert Rankin? Why or why not?
As always I am a fan of Mister Rankin, his far-fetched fiction is without a doubt a territory he has sliced for himself. Every page turn has more instead of less. Absurdities abound. This tittle, for all its promise and premise, leaves to many dangling plot lines in the air.
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