Armageddon: The Musical

Armageddon Trilogy, Book 1

By: Robert Rankin

Narrated by: Robert Rankin

From the point of view of 2050, you're history. Theological warfare. Elvis on an epic time-travel journey - the Presliad. Buddhavision - a network bigger than God (and more powerful, too). Nasty nuclear leftovers. Naughty sex habits. Dalai Dan (the 153rd reincarnation of the Lama of that ilk) and Barry, the talkative Time Sprout.

Even with all this excitement, you wouldn't think a backwater planet like Earth makes much of a splash in the galatic pond. But the soap opera called The Earthers is making big video bucks in the intergalactic ratings race. And alien TV execs know exactly what the old earth drama needs to make the off-world audience sit up and stare: a spectacular Armageddon-type finale. With a cast of millions - including you! Don’t touch that dial - it’s gonne be one helluva show…

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales. The Morning Star describes him as 'The Master of Silliness', and his publisher describes him as ‘The Master of Far Fetched Fiction’. He is the author of more than thirty novels, of which he has sold millions of copies, and he makes people laugh around the world.

Robert loves going on tour, signing books for readers, and his appearances at signings and conventions are legendary, often including a stand-up routine, a song (accompanied by his 'air-ukulele'), and an always-entertaining question-and-answer session.

©1990 Robert Rankin (P)2013 Audible Ltd

Critic reviews

"Stark raving genius...alarming and deformed brilliance” ( Observer)
“He becomes funnier the more you read him” ( Independent)
“Everybody should read at least one Robert Rankin in their life” ( Daily Express)
“One of the rare guys who can always make me laugh” (Terry Pratchett)
“To the top-selling ranks of humorists such as Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, let us welcome Mr Rankin” (Tom Hutchinson, The Times)

Some of the best author-read books

Robert Rankin’s books are in some ways, a bit old-school and dated, but in other ways, the subjects and the humor are completely on point for today, and he does a great job of humorously reading his own work.

I Couldn't Finish It

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

I don't think this is salvageable in that way. I got to 3:48/10:15 and had to quit. And I have listened to some crap all the way to the end out of my compulsion to completionism.

What could Robert Rankin have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

I'm American, and while I listen to a decent number of British audiobooks and watch a smattering of British television, the amount of British colloquialisms and slang (as well as their narrated delivery) was off-putting to me with its unfamiliarity. I may be too ignorant of whatever dialect Rankin was using, and possibly a British audience would respond better to it. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard over here.

The plot was... nonsense. Not fun Terry Pratchett-heartwarming-nonsense. Not zany everything's-game-Douglas Adams nonsense. Just ridiculous. It was a running commentary on TV viewing for fun and profit and the decline of humanity. It got old, and I didn't even make it to the end. Of course, this is a bigger issue than the dialect choice. The dialect just turned me off first.

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

He's terrible with the female characters. I'm pretty sure there were two female characters. In the narrator's defense, they were pretty poorly written to begin with... oh, wait...

What character would you cut from Armageddon: The Musical?

They seemed to be cutting themselves efficiently enough... Geez... Elvis. I'd cut Elvis. What the hell was Elvis doing in there in the first place? I will certainly never know--I'm not going back to find out. Also, Elvis was an actual human being. Something about putting a real human into your nonsense alien apocalypse cannibal television story doesn't sit well.

Any additional comments?

Ugh.