Blue Vomit, Bare Bums, and a Bit of Magic
21 Epic Lessons Learned Trying, but Never Achieving, the Perfect Disneyland Vacation
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Blue Vomit, Bare Bums, and a Bit of Magic
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Narrated by:
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Maxwell Glick
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By:
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Wally Davis
About this listen
Disneyland is an American icon, the pinnacle of magic and joy, the crown jewel of the American family vacation. It spews wonder, magic, and happiness upon all who don mouse ears and enter its cheerful gates. This is all true unless you are a member of the Davis family. Then it spews vomit, diarrhea, and a dose or two of bad luck, even when appropriately donning mouse ears.
Blue Vomit, Bare Bums, and a Bit of Magic hilariously weaves the story of one family as they try desperately on three different Disneyland vacations to create that one magical “the kids will remember this forever”-style vacation, but are greeted each time by epic failures.
Whether it is eating vomit, dealing with terrible hotels, or defecating in public, they just cannot buy a break no matter how hard they try. Through their countless misadventures, they learn valuable lessons and are ultimately able to find moments of joy in trying, but never achieving, the perfect Disneyland vacation.
©2020 Michael Davis (P)2022 Michael DavisListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
John Marshall had read about the growth of voluntourism, and frankly, it was the only kind of extended trip he could afford. He'd heard that some peoples' lives were changed by a week of overseas service - what might half a year accomplish for his family? His wife, Traca, was all in favor of it; his kids, especially his 14-year-old daughter, were strongly opposed. Wide-Open World is the totally engaging, bluntly honest story of the Marshall family's life-changing adventure.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I enjoyed every minute
- By Chris on 05-15-15
By: John Marshall
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I Said Yes
- My Story of Heartbreak, Redemption, and True Love
- By: Emily Maynard Johnson
- Narrated by: Hayley Cresswell
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 273
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 239
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 242
Millions know Emily Maynard Johnson from her unprecedented double appearances on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Millions also know that neither of the relationships from those shows lasted much longer than a commercial break. Overcome with embarrassment following her nationally televised failures at romance, Emily finally committed her heart to the only one she knew would never leave her empty and alone. Abandoning her desire to be chosen by men and finding peace in the fact that she was already chosen by God, Emily found the joy she had been looking for in serving God.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Interesting read for bachelor/bachelorette fans
- By Melanie on 03-31-16
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Not Afraid of the Fall
- 114 Days Through 38 Cities in 15 Countries
- By: Kyle James
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
After purchasing one-way flights from New York City to Paris, Kyle James and his girlfriend Ashley quit their day jobs, planned futures, and daily paradigms to see as much of the world as they could. In 114 days, they trekked across 15 countries and 38 cities with nothing but their backpacks, their smartphones, and each other. Not Afraid of the Fall is the unvarnished story of their off-the-cuff journey: from cliff-jumping off Croatia's untouched coasts to bathing with rescued elephants in Thailand and far beyond.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Poorly written, and straight up boring
- By Jon on 06-08-18
By: Kyle James
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 868
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 797
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 796
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 411
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 368
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 364
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Driving Miss Norma
- One Family's Journey Saying ""Yes"" to Living
- By: Tim Bauerschmidt, Ramie Liddle
- Narrated by: Christopher Grove, Nan McNamara
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 218
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 188
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 190
When Miss Norma was diagnosed with uterine cancer, she was advised to undergo surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. But instead of confining herself to a hospital bed for what could be her last stay, Norma - newly widowed after nearly seven decades of marriage - rose to her full height of five feet and told her doctor, "I'm 90 years old. I'm hitting the road." Packing what she needed, Norma took off on an unforgettable cross-country journey with three professional nomads - her retired son, Tim; his wife, Ramie; and their standard poodle, Ringo.
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5 out of 5 stars
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so moving and inspiring
- By Travis Stone on 07-10-19
By: Tim Bauerschmidt, and others
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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It Takes Two
- Our Story
- By: Jonathan Scott, Drew Scott
- Narrated by: Drew Scott, Jonathan Scott
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 905
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 818
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 818
It Takes Two: Our Story shares never-before-revealed tales of the Scott brothers' childhood and rise to fame - from starting their first business at seven years old and their years modeling and acting to their first house purchase at the impressive young age of 18. They soon found their true passion in life, combining their natural gifts for entertaining with the skills they learned from buying, renovating, and selling homes.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not Worth the Time or $2.95
- By Sharlotte on 03-06-18
By: Jonathan Scott, and others
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In the Water They Can't See You Cry
- A Memoir
- By: Amanda Beard, Rebecca Paley
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 53
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Story4 out of 5 stars 55
At the tender age of 14, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet. Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I applaud Amanda - but her editor's were lame
- By Heather on 03-10-15
By: Amanda Beard, and others
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 577
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 362
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Story4 out of 5 stars 357
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Moment Maker
- You Can Live Your Life or It Will Live You
- By: Carlos Whittaker
- Narrated by: Carlos Whittaker
- Length: 4 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 71
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 70
Life is made of moments. What are you doing to make the most of them? In Moment Maker, Carlos Whittaker shows you how to make each moment count, so those moments add up to a life rich with meaning, deeply satisfying, and full of purpose. Every day we have an opportunity to make our lives meaningful, to make them matter. Yet, for so many of us, we let too much of life happen without taking notice. For author, speaker, and podcaster Carlos Whittaker, living deliberately has become a way of life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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going to read it again starting now! !Bravo Carlos
- By Eric B. Sichler on 06-02-15
By: Carlos Whittaker
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Rare Bird
- A Memoir of Loss and Love
- By: Anna Whiston-Donaldson
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Story5 out of 5 stars 57
On an ordinary September day, 12-year-old Jack is swept away in a freak neighborhood flood. His parents and younger sister are left to wrestle with the awful questions: How could God let this happen? Can we ever be happy again? They each fall into the abyss of grief in different ways. And in the days and months to come, they each find their faltering way toward peace. In Rare Bird, Anna Whiston-Donaldson unfolds a mother's story of loss that leads, in time, to enduring hope.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Warning! Tears
- By Madge on 08-16-15
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Don't Lick the Minivan
- And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
- By: Leanne Shirtliffe
- Narrated by: Trudie Kessler
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 217
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 196
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Story4 out of 5 stars 191
As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I Guess You Had to Be There?
- By Sara on 09-08-14
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I Just Want You to Know
- Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family
- By: Kate Gosselin
- Narrated by: Kate Gosselin
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 21
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 21
In I Just Want You to Know, New York Times best-selling author Kate Gosselin continues her story of faith and family, picking up where her first book, Multiple Blessings, ended. Using excerpts and written prayers from her actual journal, Kate offers an intimate look at the heart of a mother during the three years her family transitioned from obscurity into television fame.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This was a good book
- By lisa m schumann on 01-03-22
By: Kate Gosselin
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The Ride of Our Lives
- Roadside Lessons of an American Family
- By: Mike Leonard
- Narrated by: Marc Cashman
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 42
Mike Leonard is a lucky man. It’s not everyone who gets parents like Jack and Marge. At 87, Jack is a pathological optimist with an inexhaustible gift of gab. Marge, Jack’s bride of 60 years, though cut from the same rough bolt of Irish immigrant cloth, is his polar opposite - pessimistic and proud of it. What was their son, Mike, thinking when he took a sabbatical from his job with NBC News so he could pile these two world-class originals along with three of his grown kids and a daughter-in-law into a pair of rented RVs and hit the road for a month?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious!!!
- By TurtlesRMe on 03-06-07
By: Mike Leonard
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Learning to Die in Miami
- Confessions of a Refugee Boy
- By: Carlos Eire
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
Carlos Eire's story of a boyhood uprooted by the Cuban Revolution quickly lures us in, as eleven-year-old Carlos and his older brother Tony touch down in the sun-dappled Miami of 1962 - a place of daunting abundance where his old Cuban self must die to make way for a new, American self waiting to be born. In this enchanting new work, narrated in Eire's inimitable and lyrical voice, young Carlos adjusts to life in his new country.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent memoir of a forgotten time in history
- By BRB on 03-23-15
By: Carlos Eire
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To Shake the Sleeping Self
- A Journey from Oregon to Patagonia, and a Quest for a Life with No Regret
- By: Jedidiah Jenkins
- Narrated by: Jedidiah Jenkins
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,145
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,892
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,882
On the eve of turning 30, terrified of being funneled into a life he didn’t choose, Jedidiah Jenkins quit his dream job and spent 16 months cycling from Oregon to Patagonia. He chronicled the trip on Instagram, where his photos and reflections drew hundreds of thousands of followers, all gathered around the question: What makes a life worth living? In this unflinchingly honest memoir, Jed narrates his adventure - the people and places he encountered on his way to the bottom of the world - as well as the internal journey that started it all.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Different that I expected
- By Sabrina on 02-21-20
By: Jedidiah Jenkins
What listeners say about Blue Vomit, Bare Bums, and a Bit of Magic
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Michelle Phoenix
- 03-18-22
One Amazing Audiobook
Enjoyed listening to this audiobook and Maxwell Glick did great narrating! Highly recommend it 💕
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mike
- 02-11-22
Amazingly funny and relatable to any parent of young children!
It was great! Very well narrated, and the story was hilarious. Despite all the tragic events that take place there is still such a positive message of finding the good and the magic.
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