-
Astroturf
- Narrated by: Obe Croft
- Length: 3 hrs and 40 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Prime members: New to Audible?Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Astroturf
Buy for $21.81
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Publisher's summary
Good things can happen when you do bad things
At thirty, Ned is in a rut. His girlfriend has dumped him, his job is boring and he lives in a dismal bedsit. While others around him climb the property ladder and get ahead, he seems destined to remain one of life's plodders.
Encouraged by a friend to try using steroids to bulk up his frame, Ned is pleased to discover a new vitality within himself. Physical changes are only the beginning: his mental state is clearer, he feels more confident and, most thrillingly of all, friends and lovers alike seem compelled by this new improved Ned.
Using his knowledge of the murky yet surprising online world of steroids, Ned begins to build a business and discovers that his talents can take him further than he ever thought possible. But when is new life is threatened, he finds himself doing things he never would have dared to do before.
And it all seems to be going fine . . .
Critic reviews
'I loved Matthew Sperling's sly, subversive novel, a wickedly funny tale of how to come out on top in a fake news world.' Olivia Laing
'Outrageous, sexy and funny. Sperling writes with the caustic economy of Waugh or Spark, but his characters have more heart, including the sock-puppets.' Luke Kennard, author of The Transition
'A tale about steroids which seems to be on steroids itself: sleek, muscular and just slightly too real.' Kate Clancy, author of Meeting the English
More from the same
Author
Related to this topic
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,086
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,872
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,871
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Her Second Husband
- By: Jane E. James
- Narrated by: Claire Rushbrook
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 97
Then: Linda has it all: a gorgeous home, a devoted husband, two loving daughters. But she throws it all away to chase an impossible dream. Now: Linda is alone and penniless, living in a shabby rented flat. With nothing to lose, she signs up to a dating app for the over 50s. But the one man who responds to her profile, a man calling himself Tony Fortin, is not who he says he is. Linda recognises him immediately. He’s Marcus, her second husband. But that’s impossible. Marcus died eight months ago. He drowned off the coast of Corfu.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Good story, but redundant
- By Lisa on 06-22-24
By: Jane E. James
-
Home Is Where the Bodies Are
- By: Jeneva Rose
- Narrated by: January LaVoy, Cassandra Campbell, Brittany Pressley, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,711
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,671
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,671
After their mother passes, three estranged siblings reunite to sort out her estate. Beth, the oldest, never left home. She stayed with her mom, caring for her until the very end. Nicole, the middle child, has been kept at arm’s length due to her ongoing battle with a serious drug addiction. Michael, the youngest, lives out of state and hasn’t been back to their small Wisconsin town since their father ran out on them seven years before.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Really Predictable… Kept Hoping it Would Change
- By JB on 05-22-24
By: Jeneva Rose
-
The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40,793
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33,752
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33,333
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Fred271 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
-
He Who Fights with Monsters 2
- A LitRPG Adventure (He Who Fights with Monsters, Book 2)
- By: Shirtaloon, Travis Deverell
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 22 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 26,946
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 23,653
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 23,598
But Jason Asano is settling into his new life. Now, a contest draws young elites to the city of Greenstone to compete for a grand prize. Jason must gather a band of companions if he is to stand a chance against the best the world has to offer. While the young adventurers are caught up in competition, the city leaders deal with revelations of betrayal as a vast and terrible enemy is revealed. Although Jason seems uninvolved, he has unknowingly crossed the enemy’s path before.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Contrary to common reviews
- By Karen on 05-21-21
By: Shirtaloon, and others
-
The Holy Bible: King James Version
- The Old and New Testaments
- By: King James Bible
- Narrated by: Scott Brick, Prentice Onayemi, Ellen Archer, and others
- Length: 82 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,036
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 823
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 816
This newer edition of the King James Bible published in 1769 is usually preferred by most that read it over the older 1611 version. This 1769 edition is highly sought after due to being more reader/listener friendly than the 1611 since many typos were fixed.... We hope your new audio bible will go everywhere with you and be a blessing for years to come.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Very Good
- By José de Ribera on 12-17-20
By: King James Bible
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,086
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,872
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,871
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Her Second Husband
- By: Jane E. James
- Narrated by: Claire Rushbrook
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 97
Then: Linda has it all: a gorgeous home, a devoted husband, two loving daughters. But she throws it all away to chase an impossible dream. Now: Linda is alone and penniless, living in a shabby rented flat. With nothing to lose, she signs up to a dating app for the over 50s. But the one man who responds to her profile, a man calling himself Tony Fortin, is not who he says he is. Linda recognises him immediately. He’s Marcus, her second husband. But that’s impossible. Marcus died eight months ago. He drowned off the coast of Corfu.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Good story, but redundant
- By Lisa on 06-22-24
By: Jane E. James
-
Home Is Where the Bodies Are
- By: Jeneva Rose
- Narrated by: January LaVoy, Cassandra Campbell, Brittany Pressley, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,711
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,671
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,671
After their mother passes, three estranged siblings reunite to sort out her estate. Beth, the oldest, never left home. She stayed with her mom, caring for her until the very end. Nicole, the middle child, has been kept at arm’s length due to her ongoing battle with a serious drug addiction. Michael, the youngest, lives out of state and hasn’t been back to their small Wisconsin town since their father ran out on them seven years before.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Really Predictable… Kept Hoping it Would Change
- By JB on 05-22-24
By: Jeneva Rose
-
The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40,793
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33,752
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33,333
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Fred271 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
-
He Who Fights with Monsters 2
- A LitRPG Adventure (He Who Fights with Monsters, Book 2)
- By: Shirtaloon, Travis Deverell
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 22 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 26,946
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 23,653
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 23,598
But Jason Asano is settling into his new life. Now, a contest draws young elites to the city of Greenstone to compete for a grand prize. Jason must gather a band of companions if he is to stand a chance against the best the world has to offer. While the young adventurers are caught up in competition, the city leaders deal with revelations of betrayal as a vast and terrible enemy is revealed. Although Jason seems uninvolved, he has unknowingly crossed the enemy’s path before.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Contrary to common reviews
- By Karen on 05-21-21
By: Shirtaloon, and others
-
The Holy Bible: King James Version
- The Old and New Testaments
- By: King James Bible
- Narrated by: Scott Brick, Prentice Onayemi, Ellen Archer, and others
- Length: 82 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,036
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 823
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 816
This newer edition of the King James Bible published in 1769 is usually preferred by most that read it over the older 1611 version. This 1769 edition is highly sought after due to being more reader/listener friendly than the 1611 since many typos were fixed.... We hope your new audio bible will go everywhere with you and be a blessing for years to come.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Very Good
- By José de Ribera on 12-17-20
By: King James Bible
![Dracula [Audible Edition] Audiobook By Bram Stoker cover art](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51ef+s6y42L._SL320_.jpg)
-
Dracula [Audible Edition]
- By: Bram Stoker
- Narrated by: Alan Cumming, Tim Curry, Simon Vance, and others
- Length: 15 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35,015
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 31,679
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31,589
The modern audience hasn't had a chance to truly appreciate the unknowing dread that readers would have felt when reading Bram Stoker's original 1897 manuscript. Most modern productions employ campiness or sound effects to try to bring back that gothic tension, but we've tried something different. By returning to Stoker's original storytelling structure - a series of letters and journal entries voiced by Jonathan Harker, Dr. Van Helsing, and other characters - with an all-star cast of narrators, we've sought to recapture its originally intended horror and power.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
IS THAT NOT SO?
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-05-15
By: Bram Stoker
-
Fingerprints of the Gods
- The Quest Continues
- By: Graham Hancock
- Narrated by: Graham Hancock
- Length: 18 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,622
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 7,628
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,587
Fingerprints of the Gods is the revolutionary rewrite of history that has persuaded millions of listeners throughout the world to change their preconceptions about the history behind modern society. An intellectual detective story, this unique history audiobook directs probing questions at orthodox history, presenting disturbing new evidence that historians have tried - but failed - to explain.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Classic in Historical Mysteries
- By Kelly on 09-05-19
By: Graham Hancock
-
Treasure Island
- An Audible Original Drama
- By: Robert Louis Stevenson, Marty Ross - adaptation
- Narrated by: Philip Glenister, Daniel Mays, Catherine Tate, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37,169
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33,311
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33,130
Audible Originals takes to the high seas to bring to life this timeless tale of pirates, lost treasure maps and mutiny. When weathered old sailor Billy Bones arrives at the inn of young Jim Hawkins' parents, it is the start of an adventure beyond anything he could have imagined. When Bones dies mysteriously, Jim stumbles across a map of a mysterious island in his sea chest, where X marks the spot of a stash of buried pirate gold.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A reflective adventure
- By Tad Davis on 09-12-17
By: Robert Louis Stevenson, and others
-
The Jane Austen Collection
- An Audible Original Drama
- By: Jane Austen
- Narrated by: Claire Foy, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Billie Piper, and others
- Length: 45 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,824
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,509
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 2,482
Renowned as much for her wit and satirical social commentary as for her stories of love and romance, Jane Austen remains unfailingly relevant and one of Britain’s best loved authors. In this Audible Original collection, an all-star list of narrators (Billie Piper, Claire Foy, Emma Thompson, Florence Pugh and Gugu Mbatha-Raw) capture Austen’s pin-sharp humour and tone in these dramatisations of her six beloved novels accompanied by a full cast.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Not a faithful rendition
- By Anne McClain on 12-13-20
By: Jane Austen
-
All the Ugly and Wonderful Things
- A Novel
- By: Bryn Greenwood
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,057
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,222
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,172
As the daughter of a drug dealer, Wavy knows not to trust people, not even her own parents. It's safer to keep her mouth shut and stay out of sight. Struggling to raise her little brother, Donal, eight-year-old Wavy is the only responsible adult around. Obsessed with the constellations, she finds peace in the starry night sky above the fields behind her house until one night her stargazing causes an accident. After witnessing his motorcycle wreck, she forms an unusual friendship with one of her father's thugs, Kellen, a tattooed ex-con with a heart of gold.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
So many 'hard to listen to' moments
- By jksullycats on 12-27-16
By: Bryn Greenwood
-
The House on the Water
- A Novella
- By: Margot Hunt
- Narrated by: Taylor Schilling
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 14,721
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 13,459
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 13,411
Every year, Caroline Reed takes a trip with her best friend, Esme Lamont. They’re usually accompanied by their spouses - but this year, everything’s changed. Esme has just gone through a bitter divorce, and Caroline's wondering if her own marriage is reaching its breaking point as she and her husband, John, cope with the discovery that their son has been abusing drugs. Still, the inseparable duo books a weeklong stay at a beach-front home in Shoreham, Florida, inviting Esme’s brother, Nick, and his new husband. After a blissful first night in the vacation home, tragedy strikes.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Wonderful Story
- By David M. Wilcox on 12-04-20
By: Margot Hunt