A Fashionably Dead Diary
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A Fashionably Dead Diary
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Narrated by:
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Jessica Almasy
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By:
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Robyn Peterman
About this listen
Getting blackmailed sucks. Getting blackmailed by Satan into ghost writing his autobiography/romance really sucks - hard.
But I’m not a weenie or a welsher. I’m a semi-materialistic, Prada lovin’ Vampyre-Demon with a bad attitude and a serious lack of cheating skills. If I were a good cheater, I wouldn’t be in this heinous position. I lost, and now I have to pay.
However, the price might deplete the wavering amount of sanity I have left...so I’m turning to you, dear diary, to pour out my inappropriate feelings and murderous inclinations toward a family member who shall remain nameless. Who in the hell am I kidding? I’m gonna name that butthole over and over on these secret pages. It’s Satan or Lucifer or the Lord of Darkness or the Dark Angel - or, as I like to call him, Uncle F--ker.
That’s why I have chosen you, dear diary. You don’t have a mouth, as far as I know, and if you do, I’ll remove it - violently. Please keep that in mind as I tell you all my secrets. I’ve dealt with talking books and walls, and they’re a real pain in the ass. So if you turn out to be one of those, we’ll have a problem.
Sit back. Relax, and get ready for a hellish ride.
xoxo, Astrid
Note from author: Dear lover of Lucifer, Astrid and all things Hot Damned aka fabulous reader, it’s me, Robyn Peterman - the insane creator of the Hot Damned series - with a little message for you. This is a Hot Damned extra! It’s short. It’s snarky, fun, and it’s short. If you haven’t litsened to Fashionably Flawed, audiobook nine, you will not understand this, and it has spoilers in it that will mess up your enjoyment of Fashionably Flawed.
If you haven’t listened to any of the Hot Damned series, this will make no sense to you whatsoever. LOL. So, there you go. This is just a little ditty that I couldn’t get out of my head and thought the true fans of the Hot Damned series would enjoy. Astrid and Satan are two of my favorite characters, and I could write about them forever. Enjoy Astrid’s dairy of her month with Satan while writing his autobiography/romance. God knows I certainly did. LOL.
xoxo, Robyn
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 971
For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
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Fashionably Dead
- By: Robyn Peterman
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 12 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,026
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,793
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,786
Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Porn
- By Jo Mc on 05-11-17
By: Robyn Peterman
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Undead and Unwed
- Queen Betsy, Book 1
- By: MaryJanice Davidson
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,948
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,860
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,853
Waking up in a tacky coffin and wearing off-brand shoes, Betsy Taylor can't believe the horrible turn her life has taken; then she discovers she's a vampire. Soon, Betsy becomes a participant in a power struggle between the forces of darkness. With only her friend Jessica and the hunky vampire Sinclair to help her, this new "Queen of Vampires" will have a tough time getting her afterlife straight.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great Concept / Annoying Character
- By Vanessa on 07-28-09
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This Is Gonna Hurt
- Music, Photography, and Life Through the Distorted Lens of Nikki Sixx
- By: Nikki Sixx
- Narrated by: Nikki Sixx
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 739
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 641
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 638
This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography And Life Through The Distorted Lens Of Nikki Sixx, is all Nikki Sixx. It is a collection of compelling photography and stories that capture the rage, love, optimism, darkness, and determination that shape his work.
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5 out of 5 stars
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MUST HAVE!!
- By Yvonne on 05-28-11
By: Nikki Sixx
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Keeping It Hot
- The Breakfast in Bed Series, Book 1
- By: Sydney Landon
- Narrated by: Nicol Zanzarella
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 61
Zoe Hart owns the coffee shop in one of the hottest upscale resorts in Florida, which is run by her childhood best friend, Dylan Jackson. Even though Dylan is a workaholic, he still finds time to enjoy the beautiful women who pass through his hotel - all of them except Zoe. She has been in love with Dylan for years without him noticing. But with her 30th birthday fast approaching, she realizes she can't keep pining away for a man who doesn't show the merest sign of romantic interest in her.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Cute and entertaining
- By VAS on 09-09-24
By: Sydney Landon
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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4 out of 5 stars
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Seven Deadly Sins
- Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,078
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 978
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 971
For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
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Blood Oranges
- A Siobhan Quinn Novel
- By: Kathleen Tierney
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 97
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 100
My name's Quinn. If you buy into my reputation, I'm the most notorious demon hunter in New England. But rumors of my badassery have been slightly exaggerated. Instead of having kung-fu skills and a closet full of medieval weapons, I'm an ex-junkie with a talent for being in the wrong place at the right time. Or the right place at the wrong time. Or…whatever. Wanted for crimes against inhumanity I (mostly) didn't commit, I was nearly a midnight snack for a werewolf until I was "saved" by a vampire calling itself the Bride of Quiet.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great Narration, Subpar Book
- By Mel Thomas on 12-17-14
By: Kathleen Tierney
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Deja Who
- By: MaryJanice Davidson
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 52
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Story4 out of 5 stars 45
Leah Nazir is an Insighter. Reincarnation is her business. But while her clients' pasts are a mess, Leah's is nothing short of tragedy. She's been murdered. A lot. If left to that bitch destiny, it'll happen again. Leah wants to know who's been following her through time - and who's been stalking her in the present.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Love the author, but not the book
- By Rhonda on 11-14-16
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All I Want for Halloween
- By: Marie Harte
- Narrated by: Brenda Eddie
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 106
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 96
Halloween has always been Sadie Liberato's favorite holiday. She's kept men at a distance since her last break-up, but tonight she plans to let go. Dressed up and anonymous, Sadie feels sexy, powerful, and free. Where better to lose herself than at a masked party? Harrison Gear Blackstone needs a break. Halloween isn't normally his thing, but, after his reality show went downhill, he sees the appeal of hiding his infamous face and cutting loose. Snark and sparks fly when an adult spin-the-bottle game pairs Gear and Sadie together.
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2 out of 5 stars
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cliché
- By Rebekah on 10-11-23
By: Marie Harte
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Impulse
- By: Ellen Hopkins
- Narrated by: Laura Flanagan, Jeremy Guskin, Steve Coombs
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 438
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 359
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 364
The handsome son of wealthy parents, Connor has everything anyone could want...except his family's love and affection. Jailed for years after killing his mother's child-molesting boyfriend, Tony is confused about his sexuality. Manic-depressive Vanessa cuts herself. All three stories intertwine in a brutally honest story about pain and resilience.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Everything to want in a book❤️
- By Jazmine on 07-04-15
By: Ellen Hopkins
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Lazy Son
- Hell's Son, Book 1
- By: Eve Langlais
- Narrated by: Tyler Donne
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 107
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 96
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 96
The problem with being born with expectations is the failure to live up to any. Christopher might be the antichrist, but taking over the world and leading the minions of darkness sounds like a lot of work. And while slacking is a sin his supposed dad Lucifer approves of, his lack of goals is a problem. Personally, Christopher would rather just work hard enough to make ends meet - and maybe buy a six-pack. But fate is conspiring against him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Brilliant surprise
- By debbolsen on 01-10-19
By: Eve Langlais
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The Book of Summer
- A Novel
- By: Michelle Gable
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 12 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 91
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 88
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 86
Physician Bess Codman has returned to her family's Nantucket compound, Cliff House, for the first time in four years. Her great-grandparents built Cliff House almost a century before, but due to erosion, the once-grand home will soon fall into the sea. Though she's purposefully avoided the island, Bess must now pack up the house and deal with her mother, a notorious town rabble-rouser, who refuses to leave.
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1 out of 5 stars
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boring
- By Sara Deering on 08-09-17
By: Michelle Gable
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Pretty Much Screwed
- By: Jenna McCarthy
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 313
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 283
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 284
For Charlotte Crawford, the worst part about being dumped after 20 years of marriage is that her husband, Jack, doesn't want another woman; he just doesn't want her. Forty-two and clueless, Charlotte is a fish out of water in a dating pool teeming with losers. Just when she thinks she's finally put her failed marriage behind her, it comes back to bite her in the ass...hard. Without warning, Charlotte finds herself staring down the barrel of a future she wouldn't (she would totally) wish on her worst enemy.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Meh
- By Miss Bishop on 10-31-16
By: Jenna McCarthy
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Chances, Part 1
- Gino's Story
- By: Jackie Collins
- Narrated by: Jackie Collins
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 125
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 99
He started with nothing, and built an empire. She was born to bad times - and lived through much worse. Orphans and outlaws alike, Gino Santangelo and Carrie Jones were survivors in a harsh, loveless world....a passionate young Italian and an exotic dark beauty whose chance meeting yields a secret that can't be spoken for years to come.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Abridged version doesn't do series justice
- By Nancy J. Hyde on 01-10-09
By: Jackie Collins
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I'll See You in Paris
- A Novel
- By: Michelle Gable
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 93
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 82
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 80
After losing her fiancé in the Vietnam War, nineteen-year-old Laurel Haley takes a job in England, hoping the distance will mend her shattered heart. Laurel expects the pain might lessen but does not foresee the beguiling man she meets or that they'll go to Paris, where the city's magic will take over and alter everything Laurel believes about love.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Curious and Aggravated
- By Violet Trout on 04-13-16
By: Michelle Gable
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 132
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 124
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 123
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
-
Maybe the Moon
- By: Armistead Maupin
- Narrated by: Armistead Maupin
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 60
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Story4 out of 5 stars 44
All of 31 inches tall, Cady is a true survivor in a town where, as she says, "you can die of encouragement". Her early starring role as a lovable elf in an immensely popular American film proved a major disappointment, since moviegoers never saw the face behind the stifling rubber suit she was required to wear. Now, after a decade of hollow promises from the Industry, she is reduced to performing at birthday parties and bat mitzvahs as she waits for the miracle that will finally make her a star.
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4 out of 5 stars
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short but good
- By Charlene on 08-06-07
By: Armistead Maupin
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Love and Lists
- By: Tara Sivec
- Narrated by: James Fouhey, C.J. Bloom
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 408
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 374
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 376
Twenty-five-year-old Gavin Ellis has always had the love and support of his family ever since he was a little boy and couldn't stop talking about his penis. He's also always had their unsolicited advice and uncanny knack of embarrassing him at all costs. Now that he's an adult and trying to convince the love of his life to love him back, things haven't changed very much from when he was younger. When Gavin's best friend, Tyler, suggests he make a to-do list of items that will ensure he wins the girl, Gavin is 100 percent on board: after a few six packs.
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4 out of 5 stars
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WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IN PUBLIC.
- By Ulyana on 12-25-15
By: Tara Sivec
What listeners say about A Fashionably Dead Diary
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Crystalshannon1
- 03-20-19
A great Short
Another great book in an awesomely hilarious series. I look forward to many more books to come. This series is a must read. If your looking for a series to make you laugh so hard it hurts then this is the series for you.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- TaSigmund
- 12-10-21
Perfectly Hilarious
The Astrid stories are my very favorite. She makes me laugh so hard. The xoxo part had me thinking of Gossip Girl every time. This story was short, fast and so so so damn funny. I hope Robyn keeps writing this series for forever. Highly recommended.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- StevieB
- 11-03-18
There are just no words
You have one twisted deranged mind I love it keep up the good work.
Looking forward to the next book in the series
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- D V
- 01-06-20
Cute short
While the author makes a disclaimer in the beginning saying some may not understand if they haven’t read the other books, I think anyone would actually find this funny even without a back story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- 🌟MollyAnn🌟
- 03-13-20
perfect little bit
a wonderful little onsite to astrid's POV of writing Lucifer's book. freakin funny!! 100% reccomend
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ellen
- 09-26-21
hilarious
Loved the short short story. didn't see it until I was listening to book 11 so I went back. So good!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tina Marie Barr
- 07-11-19
Really great book
I thought this one was funny and cute definitely want to read this book again for sure I am fan of these books
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Michelle
- 06-28-20
Love it!
This was an adorable short and it filled in some fun blanks! Loved all of it, especially the ending!
The narration was excellent, clear and easy to understand at all times!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ColdMama
- 09-30-18
Love all of Robyn Peterman's work
Love the irreverent writing and the way Jessica Almasy reads is perfect. Thank you for the smiles and laughs.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Trudy
- 07-22-21
Bizarre and wonderfully strange!
Bizarre and wonderfully strange!
I absolutely do not care that this is basically a short bonus it is the most hilarious, amazing, bonus ever. I loved it so much! I adore Astrid and her crazy and this focuses on nothing else, well her and Uncle Devil. Since these are diary entries we really get to delve deep in to the mind of my favorite immortal and it rocks!
Now please excuse me as I go listen to it again because yes, it is that great!
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