50 Awesome Things to Do in Retirement: The Humorous Guide to Enjoy Life after Work
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50 Awesome Things to Do in Retirement: The Humorous Guide to Enjoy Life after Work
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Narrated by:
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Sam Slydell
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By:
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Berger McDonald
About this listen
You've found your Ultimate Retirement Book!
Congratulations on reaching that point in life where you can sit back, put your feet up, and enjoy retirement!
Just think of it, no more cares, no more hurry and...no more paychecks! Yikes!
The first day of retirement is an exciting time. You get to sleep in until noon, then sit around in your pajamas all day.
There are lots of soap operas to catch up on and then of course all those small jobs around the house you’ve been putting off for years.
That was always the plan, right?
But the reality is you’ll still get up at 7 a.m. every morning, looking in the mirror and wonder what to do with yourself.
Maybe you’ll head out to Starbucks and nurse a coffee all day.
Or you could just sit on the porch and scratch yourself as people go by.
Those options don’t appeal to you?
Well then, you’ve discovered the ultimate book on retirement just in time. Take this humorous approach to enjoy your retirement.
In this book you will discover the 50 best things you absolutely need to do to enjoy your retirement to the fullest, such as:
- Joining a Nudist Club...It’s a jiggle fest and a giggle fest
- Dancing...Men will hate it, women will love it
- Get a Sex Change...for guys that had man boobs anyway
- The Art and Science of Napping...and yes there is
- Smoke Pot...Join the movement, it’s a joint effort
- Check out Cemeteries...Your last rodeo
- Gamble in Vegas Baby! What happens there stays there
And so much, much more…
After reading this book, you will never get bored in your retirement.
You will know exactly what to do in your life...in the funny, humorous ways....
Perfect for retirees. Perfect retirement gift.
©2017 Berger McDonald (P)2017 Berger McDonaldListeners also enjoyed...
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-
The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13,161
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,928
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,849
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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5 out of 5 stars
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 577
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 362
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Story4 out of 5 stars 357
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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It Takes Two
- Our Story
- By: Jonathan Scott, Drew Scott
- Narrated by: Drew Scott, Jonathan Scott
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 905
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 818
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 818
It Takes Two: Our Story shares never-before-revealed tales of the Scott brothers' childhood and rise to fame - from starting their first business at seven years old and their years modeling and acting to their first house purchase at the impressive young age of 18. They soon found their true passion in life, combining their natural gifts for entertaining with the skills they learned from buying, renovating, and selling homes.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not Worth the Time or $2.95
- By Sharlotte on 03-06-18
By: Jonathan Scott, and others
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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How to Be a Man
- (and Other Illusions)
- By: Duff McKagan
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 236
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 217
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 218
Duff McKagan is one of the most respected survivors in hard rock. In How to Be a Man, he shares the wisdom he gained on the path to superstardom - from his time with Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver to getting sober after a life of hard living to achieving his personal American dream of marrying a supermodel, raising a family, and experiencing what it's like to be winked at by Prince.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Overly dramatic reader.
- By CB on 01-07-17
By: Duff McKagan
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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Dave Barry Does Japan
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 261
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 130
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 129
Without bothering to get approval from the President, the State Department, or even the FTC, Dave Barry's publishers sent him to Tokyo. You'd think they would have known better. Now the word is Barry has set back our diplomatic relations with the whole Pacific Rim by a couple of decades. Japanese culture, dining, sport, and industry all come under Barry's relentless scrutiny.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Uplifting and fun
- By S. Blaine on 04-30-03
By: Dave Barry
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Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster)
- Life Lessons from Dave Barry
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 256
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 212
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 214
An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Clever!
- By Sharlotte on 01-31-17
By: Dave Barry
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,185
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,070
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,066
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend
- By: Felicity Huffman, Patricia Wolff
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 4 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 119
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 47
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Story4 out of 5 stars 45
Most dating books are written for women - what a mistake that is. Women know how to date....It's men who need the help! At last: a blithe, bold, and bawdy guide to building a better boyfriend.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Can't Stop Laughing
- By Marshall on 06-13-07
By: Felicity Huffman, and others
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Throw Out Fifty Things
- Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life
- By: Gail Blanke
- Narrated by: Gail Blanke
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 148
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 91
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Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Throw Out Fifty Things is truly an eye-opener. According to Blanke, our lives are so filled with junk from the past—from dried up tubes of crazy glue to old grudges—that's it's a wonder we can get up in the morning, never mind go to work, care for our children and parents, and just put one foot in front of the other. Blanke wants to start a movement of people across America throwing out 50 things (magazines count as one!) that will help liberate us from the stuff—both physical and mental—that clutters our lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So useful, listened to it a 2nd time right away.
- By Zeus on 02-02-10
By: Gail Blanke
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Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
- By: Bobby Bones
- Narrated by: Bobby Bones
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 3,703
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,282
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Story5 out of 5 stars 3,267
Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
By: Bobby Bones
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She Memes Well
- By: Quinta Brunson
- Narrated by: Quinta Brunson
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 819
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 729
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Story5 out of 5 stars 728
From comedian Quinta Brunson (creator and star of Abbott Elementary) comes a deeply personal and funny collection of essays about trying to make it when you're struggling, the importance of staying true to your roots, and how she's redefined humor online. In her debut essay collection, Quinta applies her trademark humor and heart to discuss what it was like to go from a girl who loved the World Wide Web to a girl whose face launched a thousand memes. This special Audible edition includes never-before-heard details about the making of Abbott Elementary.
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5 out of 5 stars
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That moment you know you’re a TEACHER…
- By chrissybrown on 09-19-22
By: Quinta Brunson
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How to Host a Viking Funeral
- The Case for Burning Your Regrets, Chasing Your Crazy Ideas, and Becoming the Person You're Meant to Be
- By: Kyle Scheele
- Narrated by: Kyle Scheele
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 81
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 76
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Story5 out of 5 stars 76
Turning 30, artist and speaker Kyle Scheele wanted to do something unusual to mark this milestone. Instead of a birthday bash, he decided to hold a funeral to memorialize the decade of his life that was ending. Building a 16-foot Viking ship out of cardboard, he invited friends to help him set it on fire—a symbolic farewell to his 20s and all the grief, regret, and mistakes that accompanied those years.
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2 out of 5 stars
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underwhelming
- By Amazon Customer on 12-11-22
By: Kyle Scheele
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Lose Well
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 388
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 339
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 341
Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
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5 out of 5 stars
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WHAT A LOSER
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-19
By: Chris Gethard
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First Things First
- The Rules of Being a Warner
- By: Kurt Warner, Brenda Warner, Jennifer Schuchmann - contributor
- Narrated by: Todd Busteed, Rebecca Gallagher, Abigail Seward
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Story5 out of 5 stars 21
First Things First is an honest, insightful, and entertaining look at life inside the Warner household. Kurt and Brenda speak candidly about their marriage, the values they are working to instill in their kids, things they've done right, mistakes they've made, the importance of giving back, and the legacy they hope to leave behind.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A must read!!
- By Amazon Customer on 04-18-18
By: Kurt Warner, and others
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In the Water They Can't See You Cry
- A Memoir
- By: Amanda Beard, Rebecca Paley
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 53
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Story4 out of 5 stars 55
At the tender age of 14, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet. Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I applaud Amanda - but her editor's were lame
- By Heather on 03-10-15
By: Amanda Beard, and others
What listeners say about 50 Awesome Things to Do in Retirement: The Humorous Guide to Enjoy Life after Work
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Jim Grierson
- 06-21-20
not that humorous, not that detailed.
I didn't find this book to be that humorous, and it didn't go into that much detail in the ideas that were presented.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Michele A. Cunningham
- 03-27-18
Cute and short.
Mild mannered, (very) light humor. Can't say much more because the experience has fluttered from my mind like a leaf in the breeze.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Mark E Stanton
- 01-23-20
Dumb
If you like dumb humor, try this. Otherwise, look for something else to use your credits on.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Instyle
- 04-23-21
Hilarious!
I was able to pick out my current activities and laugh.
The thing us retired or not , always find a reason to laugh.
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