Building self-trust starts with overcoming the limiting beliefs that hold us back from embracing our true selves.

In this episode of Marriage IQ, clinical psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Ray Doktor shares his inspiring journey of resilience—rising above childhood challenges like severe asthma, isolation, and experiences of racism—with the help of strong parental support.

Dr. Doktor offers a powerful reframe on trauma, explaining how it’s not the events themselves but how we process and integrate them that shapes our identity. He guides listeners through the process of identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs—often passed down through family, culture, and society—that undermine our self-trust and sense of worth.

Learn practical, actionable steps to challenge these beliefs, cultivate self-compassion, and rebuild your inner foundation. Strengthening self-trust not only boosts your self-esteem but also transforms your relationships by improving communication, boundaries, and decision-making.

As Dr. Doktor wisely reminds us, “Just be you. We all have a story, and just hopefully that story you have is more loving about yourself.”

YOUTUBE: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/videos⁠⁠⁠

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In this heartfelt and down-to-earth episode of Marriage IQ Real Talk, Scott and Heidi Hastings open up about the identity shifts that naturally occur over the course of a marriage—and how those changes can either bring couples closer or slowly create distance.

Drawing from their own journey through parenthood, career changes, and personal growth, Scott and Heidi offer a vulnerable look at how evolving roles, beliefs, and passions can reshape a marriage—for better or for worse.

🎧 In this episode, we explore:

• How major life transitions—like becoming parents, changing careers, or exploring new beliefs—can impact your identity

• Why curiosity and emotional safety are essential when your spouse is changing

• What to do when fear or disconnection starts creeping in

• A simple but powerful practice: identity affirmation lists

• The beautiful metaphor behind Ben Platt’s "Grow As We Go"—and how it speaks to the heart of lasting love

Whether you're in the middle of a shift or feeling the distance that change can bring, this episode is a reminder: growth doesn't have to divide you. It can be the very thing that draws you back together.

YOUTUBE: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/videos⁠⁠⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠⁠⁠

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In this soul-searching episode of Marriage IQ, we dive into one of the most overlooked challenges in long-term relationships: how marriage changes you—and what to do when you're not sure who you're becoming.

From becoming parents to launching kids, career pivots to personal losses, the biggest life transitions don’t just change your schedule—they change your identity. And when that happens, even solid marriages can feel off-balance.

We explore the real tension between growing as an individual and growing together, and why the healthiest couples learn to do both.

Inside this episode:

• The identity-shaking moments every couple will face: parenthood, career changes, relocation, loss, and more

• Why it’s normal to feel disconnected—even from yourself—during big transitions

• How to recognize the subtle signs of growing apart before it becomes a crisis

• Why Differentiation of Self is the secret sauce for maintaining “me” without losing “we”

• Tools to talk about who you’re becoming—and how to support your partner in who they’re becoming, too

• We’ll also share vulnerable stories, practical tools, and mindset shifts that help couples not just survive change, but grow stronger because of it.

YOUTUBE: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/videos⁠⁠
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In this powerful continuation of their story (see episode 56) , Portia and Chad Louder return to Marriage iQ to share how their marriage not only survived—but deepened—during Portia’s five-year federal prison sentence and beyond.

Chad’s Side of the Story
We hear Chad’s honest perspective as he stepped into single parenting, financial strain, and the emotional weight of holding a family together. His steady commitment reveals what true support looks like under pressure.

Staying Connected Behind Bars
From daily emails to Portia’s vulnerable prison blog, learn how this couple fought to stay emotionally connected across distance, shame, and uncertainty.

The Hard Work of Healing
The Louders open up about reunification after prison—rebuilding trust, helping their teens process pain, and choosing to lead with love, truth, and forgiveness.

Marriage Lessons You’ll Never Forget
Portia and Chad share raw insights on:

• Focusing on your partner’s strengths

• Why choosing love is a daily decision

• The healing power of vulnerability and faith

If you’ve ever wondered whether a marriage can come back from rock bottom—this episode proves that redemption is possible, and love can grow even through life’s darkest chapters.

YOUTUBE: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/videos⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠

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What does true accountability look like in a relationship—especially when trust has been broken?

In this powerful episode of Marriage iQ, we dive into the extraordinary true story of Portia and Chad Louder—a couple whose marriage was tested by addiction, legal trouble, and a seven-year federal prison sentence.

Portia, once a thriving entrepreneur, shares her raw journey from prescription drug dependency to real estate fraud—and the painful wake-up call that changed everything. Her husband, Chad, opens up about what it was like to walk beside her through public shame, personal heartbreak, and ultimately, redemption.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How childhood trauma and addiction led Portia down a dangerous path

• What it cost her—and her family—when she avoided responsibility

• Chad’s honest reflections on loving someone through crisis

• The spiritual and emotional awakening Portia experienced behind bars

• How accountability, faith, and deep inner work rebuilt not just trust—but a whole new marriage

This is a story about hitting bottom and choosing to rise—with integrity, humility, and fierce love.

Don’t miss Part 2 of this episode, to be released this Friday, where Portia and Chad share the hard-won insights and unexpected grace that helped them thrive after prison.

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/videos

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies

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What if your biggest marriage arguments aren’t really about money, parenting, or sex—but about time itself?

In this mind-expanding episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Scott and Heidi Hastings dive into the surprising power of time perspectives in relationships, inspired by the groundbreaking book The Time Paradox by Dr. Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd.

You’ll discover:

• The 6 hidden time lenses that shape how we think, feel, and fight

• Why your spouse’s spontaneity may drive you nuts—and how to make peace with it

• What happens when a past-focused partner marries a future planner

• How childhood trauma and nostalgia influence intimacy, parenting, and emotional safety

• What couples who understand time do differently—and how it protects their connection over a lifetime

From budgeting battles to bedroom mismatches, unresolved past wounds to future obsession—this episode unpacks the real reason you may be misdirecting messages… and how to reconnect.

Includes practical tools, self-reflection prompts, and a link to a free quiz to help you map your own time perspective.

Because how you see time… might be the hidden script running your marriage.

THE TIME PERSPECTIVE FREE QUIZ: https://www.thetimeparadox.com/zimbardo-time-perspective-inventory/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_FBElibQbTs0KdONZDnNHg

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What if one of the most powerful tools for improving your relationship was already happening every month—just largely misunderstood? In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with mental health therapist and hormone cycle specialist Shera Jackson Harper to unpack the emotional, mental, and relational impact of the female hormone cycle.

From the quiet clarity of the menstrual phase to the radiant energy of ovulation and the problem-solving drive of the luteal phase, Shara explains how shifting hormones influence mood, motivation, sex drive, and communication—and why most couples are missing the cues.

We dive into:

When to have deep conversations (and when not to)

How to align intimacy with changing desires using a “sex menu”

Practical ways partners can support each other through the ups and downs

How to transform postpartum hormone shifts from frustration to teamwork

This episode will help you replace confusion with connection and frustration with empathy. It’s not about fixing hormones—it’s about learning to flow with them, together.

We made it—Marriage IQ turns one! And what a year it’s been.

In this special anniversary episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on everything we’ve learned (and fumbled through) during our first year of podcasting together. From unexpected challenges to unforgettable wins, we’re getting real about what it takes to build a podcast—and a stronger marriage—one episode at a time.

• Expectation vs. Reality: The truth about starting a podcast—hidden costs, time commitments, and the steep learning curve of content creation and tech trouble.

• Top Episodes + Listener Insights: Curious which topics hit home? We’re sharing your favorite episodes and a peek at our audience’s age, location, and listening habits.

• Marriage Meets the Mic: How vulnerability, authenticity, and real-life storytelling became the heart of what we do—and why we chose a broader vision than just talking about sex.

• Behind-the-Scenes Bloopers: Tech fails, awkward edits, and the unscripted moments that made us laugh (and grow).

• How Podcasting Changed Our Marriage:

  • It exposed weak spots we didn’t know were there

  • Taught us new ways to collaborate

  • Brought us closer through the work of talking it out, on and off mic

• What’s Next: Our biggest lessons, our hopes for the future.

💛 Whether you’re a long-time listener or brand new to Marriage IQ, this episode is a celebration of connection, curiosity, and the courage it takes to keep growing—together.

🎁 Don’t miss our anniversary giveaway! We’ve got something special to thank you for growing with us this year.