Building self-trust starts with overcoming the limiting beliefs that hold us back from embracing our true selves.

In this episode of Marriage IQ, clinical psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Ray Doktor shares his inspiring journey of resilience—rising above childhood challenges like severe asthma, isolation, and experiences of racism—with the help of strong parental support.

Dr. Doktor offers a powerful reframe on trauma, explaining how it’s not the events themselves but how we process and integrate them that shapes our identity. He guides listeners through the process of identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs—often passed down through family, culture, and society—that undermine our self-trust and sense of worth.

Learn practical, actionable steps to challenge these beliefs, cultivate self-compassion, and rebuild your inner foundation. Strengthening self-trust not only boosts your self-esteem but also transforms your relationships by improving communication, boundaries, and decision-making.

As Dr. Doktor wisely reminds us, “Just be you. We all have a story, and just hopefully that story you have is more loving about yourself.”

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In this heartfelt and down-to-earth episode of Marriage IQ Real Talk, Scott and Heidi Hastings open up about the identity shifts that naturally occur over the course of a marriage—and how those changes can either bring couples closer or slowly create distance.

Drawing from their own journey through parenthood, career changes, and personal growth, Scott and Heidi offer a vulnerable look at how evolving roles, beliefs, and passions can reshape a marriage—for better or for worse.

🎧 In this episode, we explore:

• How major life transitions—like becoming parents, changing careers, or exploring new beliefs—can impact your identity

• Why curiosity and emotional safety are essential when your spouse is changing

• What to do when fear or disconnection starts creeping in

• A simple but powerful practice: identity affirmation lists

• The beautiful metaphor behind Ben Platt’s "Grow As We Go"—and how it speaks to the heart of lasting love

Whether you're in the middle of a shift or feeling the distance that change can bring, this episode is a reminder: growth doesn't have to divide you. It can be the very thing that draws you back together.

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In this soul-searching episode of Marriage IQ, we dive into one of the most overlooked challenges in long-term relationships: how marriage changes you—and what to do when you're not sure who you're becoming.

From becoming parents to launching kids, career pivots to personal losses, the biggest life transitions don’t just change your schedule—they change your identity. And when that happens, even solid marriages can feel off-balance.

We explore the real tension between growing as an individual and growing together, and why the healthiest couples learn to do both.

Inside this episode:

• The identity-shaking moments every couple will face: parenthood, career changes, relocation, loss, and more

• Why it’s normal to feel disconnected—even from yourself—during big transitions

• How to recognize the subtle signs of growing apart before it becomes a crisis

• Why Differentiation of Self is the secret sauce for maintaining “me” without losing “we”

• Tools to talk about who you’re becoming—and how to support your partner in who they’re becoming, too

• We’ll also share vulnerable stories, practical tools, and mindset shifts that help couples not just survive change, but grow stronger because of it.

YOUTUBE: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/videos⁠⁠
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