Jake Jones Sleuth-Hound

Dogged detective Jake Jones is a sleuth-hound in a City of corrupt cops, drug overlords, power-hungry politicians, femmes fatales and low down, no-good hoods who’d rather chew your arm off than use their turn signals.

When his classy new client, Lucida Grande, strolls into his office and gets poisoned right there in his visitor chair even before hiring him to find and free her sister, Gill Sans, he just can’t let sleeping dogs lie. A card in her purse leads to a mysterious cult in the desert run by top dog Big Caslon, his hulking, inarticulate bodyguard Herculanum, and bitch-in-heat with a penchant for fifty shades of gray—dark gray, very dark gray—Ariel Black. Before you know it, a can of worms escalates via a very curious process, perhaps angling of some sort, into a whole nother kettle of fish.

But can Jake and old bird Tommy Denver foil the impending and sinister Final Forbidden Golden Love Banquet, or will they themselves vanish without trace and become nothing more than irksome footnotes in the annals of …The Luminari - Font Of All Knowledge?