Showing results by narrator "Jared Goldsmith" in All Categories

The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.

A.J. and the other students at Ella Mentry School brave trick-or-treating at the school secretary's house, even though it is supposedly haunted. Mrs. Patty, the secretary, gives out the best Halloween candy in the history of the world! But her house is haunted! People say she's a witch and her husband is a ghost. Is it worth A.J.'s risking his life for the best candy ever?

Something weird is going on! A.J. and his friends are afraid that Ms. Todd, their substitute teacher, has killed their regular teacher and is trying to take over her job. They’re going to have to do the detective work to get the goods on her. But it won’t be easy! Ms. Todd is the weirdest substitute teacher in the history of the world!

What could be weirder than a mad science teacher who invents a car that runs on potatoes and wants to take over the world? How about a bus driver who can't even "find" the weirdest school on the planet?

Something weird is going on! Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

His name is Failure. Timmy Failure. And his detective agency is on the verge of global domination. Global riches. Global fame. And yet the gods keep throwing him curveballs: for starters, academic probation. The coveted Miracle Report is the key to everything, including a good grade. It’s dirty business. It’s best you know nothing. But one thing is for sure: Timmy Failure will be triumphant again!

Popular author Dan Gutman has won countless fans with a trademark brand of humor that young readers find irresistible. In this second entry from the My Weird School series, second-grader A.J. gets sent to the office for not doing his homework. But things take an unexpected turn when Mr. Klutz, the skateboarding principal, gives A.J. a candy bar for encouragement.

Prolific and popular author Dan Gutman launches a fun new series with this tale about second-grader A.J. and the unusual school he attends. On the first day of class, A.J. tells Miss Daisy he loves football and video games but hates school. Then Miss Daisy tells him she hates school, too, and the students think their teacher just might be an impostor.

Miss Small, the gym teacher, is teaching A.J., Andrea, and the gang to juggle scarves, balance feathers, and do the Chicken Dance! Is this any way to stay in shape? Whatever happened to good old dodgeball? In fact, all the grown-ups at A.J.'s school seem to have something wrong with them. What's going on here? What are A.J. and the kids in his class going to do? They've got to convince Miss Small to act her age before the end of the year! Never before has school been this mixed up -- or this much fun.

A new fad has broken out in Roscoe’s class—sneakers with built-in walkie-talkies. Roscoe is lucky enough to own a pair, but his buddy Gus isn’t so fortunate. Gus’ mom won’t buy him new shoes until his old ones are worn out. Good thing for Gus, Roscoe is an expert at destroying old shoes.

Best-selling author Katherine Applegate returns for another hilarious life lesson with the antics of well-meaning Roscoe Riley. It seems everyone is winning trophies lately - except Roscoe. A dog trick contest could turn things around, but Roscoe's goofy dog can't learn any neat tricks. So he decides to trade the sweater his grandmother knitted him to borrow his neighbor's genius dog. Roscoe didn't much like the sweater before, but now that it's gone, he's starting to wonder if he made the right decision.

Popular author Katherine Applegate has won a devoted following for her Roscoe Riley Rules series, which features a loveable youngster who has his own guidelines for getting by in life. Roscoe has already learned not to glue his friends to chairs, not to steal from bullies, and not to swap his sweaters for dogs. But when his class plans a field trip to an apple orchard, he gets himself into his stickiest situation yet—and learns a new rule in the process.

Popular children's author Katherine Applegate launches an entertaining new series featuring Roscoe Riley, a good-natured first grader whose own rules can't keep him out of mischief. In his first adventure, Roscoe shares a simple rule: Never glue your friends to chairs. But when he finds a bottle of Super-Mega-Gonzo glue in the junk drawer at home, he can't resist tossing it in his backpack and taking it to school.

Popular children's author Katherine Applegate presents this fun sequel to her instant hit, Never Glue Your Friends to Chairs. Though first grader Roscoe Riley always means well, he still has a lot to learn. So when his beloved stuffed pig Hamilton goes missing from school, he "jumps to a conclusion" and assumes that Wyatt, the meanest kid in the class, took Ham. And since Wyatt must be the pig-napper, it's only fair that Roscoe swipe the bully's teddy bear to get even, right?

Author Katherine Applegate’s stories about Roscoe Riley are popular with young readers who know what it’s like to get into trouble—accidentally. When the local bookstore holds a contest to guess the weight of a giant pumpkin, the prize is a bunch of books for the winner’s school library and a ton of candy. Roscoe likes books and candy, so he decides to make a guess. But a bad-luck black kitten at the bookstore keeps getting in his way.

Winner of a Golden Kite Award, prolific author Katherine Applegate captivates readers with the antics of young Roscoe Riley. When his friend Emma gets a pair of tap shoes, Roscoe thinks they make the coolest sound ever. So he gets his own tap shoes and joins Emma for lessons. But there’s one problem. Roscoe is the only boy in the dance class.

Timmy is about to crack the biggest case of his generation: A school competition to find a stolen globe. But someone is clearly trying to con the system. So it’s up to Timmy Failure, with the dubious help of Total, his lazy polar-bear partner, and his unlikely new ally, eccentric Great-Aunt Colander, to find a way to defeat this injustice. If he can only get his entry form in on time.

His name is Failure. Timmy Failure. And his detective agency is on the verge of global domination. Global riches. Global fame. And yet the gods keep throwing him curveballs: for starters, academic probation. The coveted Miracle Report is the key to everything, including a good grade. It’s dirty business. It’s best you know nothing. But one thing is for sure: Timmy Failure will be triumphant again!

Timmy is in Key West, Florida, ostensibly for the honeymoon of his mother and Doorman Dave...if they even got married, which Timmy doubts. Unfortunately for Timmy, crime doesn't take a vacation. And because Total has fled to Cuba seeking political asylum, Timmy must rely on a new partner for help: Doorman Dave's nephew, Emilio. And as if things couldn't get more hectic, Timmy's pants have been stolen by a six-toed cat.

Something weird is going on! First the school bus gets a flat tire, and then Mrs. Kormel is totally lost in the middle of nowhere! Mrs. Kormel is the weirdest bus driver in the history of the world, and she's driving everyone crazy!