• 422: Charles Duhigg on Becoming a Supercommunicator
    Nov 22 2024
    In today's episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author Charles Duhigg to explore the science of effective communication and its profound impact on our personal and professional lives. Charles shares insights from his latest book, Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, delving into how skills like empathy, active listening, and understanding different types of conversations can transform the way we connect with others. Our conversation uncovers the neurological underpinnings of communication, including the concept of neural entrainment and the matching principle. We discuss practical strategies for improving communication in various contexts—from personal relationships to the workplace—and address common pitfalls people face, such as social anxiety and miscommunication. Whether you're looking to enhance your relationships, become a better listener, or navigate tough conversations with ease, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you on your journey. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Charles Duhigg 03:00 — From Business to Journalism: Charles's Unconventional Path 08:00 — The Power of Storytelling in Communication 11:45 — Understanding the Science Behind Effective Communication 14:00 — The Three Types of Conversations: Practical, Emotional, Social 17:00 — The Matching Principle: Aligning Conversations for Connection 21:00 — Diagnosing and Matching Conversation Types 24:00 — Looping for Understanding: A Technique for Better Listening 28:00 — Common Communication Mistakes and How to Avoid Them 31:00 — Empathy Without Mimicry: Connecting Without Oversharing 34:00 — Real-World Examples: Doctors, Therapists, and Effective Communication 38:00 — Advice for Introverts and Those with Social Anxiety 44:00 — The Power of Asking Questions in Social Settings 47:00 — Overview of 'Supercommunicators' and Its Practical Applications 51:00 — Navigating Tough Conversations: Tips and Strategies 54:00 — A Challenge for Listeners: Reconnecting with Someone 57:30 — Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Charles's Work Hope you find this enlightening conversation as engaging as I did! Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. About the Podcast I'm Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode is a mix of expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Guest Links: Charles's Latest Book: Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection — https://www.amazon.com/Supercommunicators-Unlock-Secret-Language-Connection/dp/0593243919Website: CharlesDuhigg.com — https://www.charlesduhigg.com/Twitter: @cduhigg — https://twitter.com/cduhigg Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com — https://www.duffthepsych.com/Instagram: @duffthepsych — https://www.instagram.com/duffthepsych/YouTube: Dr. Duff's Channel — https://www.youtube.com/c/DuffThePsych #MentalHealth #EffectiveCommunication #CharlesDuhigg #SelfHelp #Supercommunicators #PersonalDevelopment #ListeningSkills #SocialAnxiety
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    58 mins
  • 421: Grieving your Therapist & Non-Suicidal Self-Injury
    Nov 15 2024

    In this Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I address two insightful listener questions. The first explores coping with the end of a therapeutic relationship, while the second delves into the physical manifestations of depression and strategies to manage them. This episode offers practical advice and empathetic understanding for those navigating these challenges.

    Chapters:

    00:15Introduction: Returning to Q&A
    After a series of interviews, I return to answering your questions. Learn how to submit your own and connect with the podcast.

    02:05Coping with the End of Therapy
    A listener shares the grief experienced after concluding therapy with a transformative therapist. I discuss why these feelings are normal, the concept of transference, and practical ways to navigate the loss of such a significant relationship.

    12:15Understanding the Physical Symptoms of Depression
    Addressing a listener's concern about the often-overlooked physical manifestations of depression, including fatigue, dissociation, and the role of self-injury as a coping mechanism. I explore what these symptoms can look like, why they occur, and practical tools to help reconnect with the body and manage the emotional weight.

    24:00Final Thoughts and Encouragement
    Reflecting on the courage it takes to share these challenges and offering guidance on taking small steps toward healing.

    About the Podcast
    I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode combines expert insights, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.

    Connect With Me:

    • Website: duffthepsych.com
    • Instagram: @duffthepsych
    • YouTube: youtube.com/duffthepsych

    Mentioned in This Episode:

    • Book: Skin Game: A Memoir by Caroline Kettlewell. This memoir provides a vivid account of living with and overcoming self-injury. Available on Amazon:

    I hope you find this episode insightful and supportive. If you'd like to send me a question for a future episode, please email me at duffthepsych@gmail.com.

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    26 mins
  • 420: Productive Failure with Dr. Manu Kapur
    Nov 8 2024

    In today’s episode, I sit down with Dr. Manu Kapur, a professor of learning sciences, to delve into his unique approach to education: productive failure. Dr. Kapur explains how intentionally designing failure within the learning process can lead to deeper understanding and greater knowledge retention. We discuss the science behind productive failure and how it differs from traditional methods, which often focus on direct instruction followed by application. Dr. Kapur shares his experiences from childhood dreams of soccer to academic life at ETH Zurich, showing how personal failures have shaped his life and work.

    Together, we explore key concepts like the “four A’s” of productive failure: Activation, Awareness, Affect, and Assembly. This method encourages learners to first explore problems in a safe space, where failure is expected, to prepare them for deeper learning through expert guidance afterward. Dr. Kapur’s insights reveal how frustration and negative emotions, when managed safely, can enhance memory and motivation, making failure a powerful tool in the learning process.

    In this episode, Dr. Kapur provides real-world examples, from learning statistical concepts in the classroom to developing retrieval paths in social interactions. We also discuss how productive failure can be applied beyond the classroom to daily life and parenting, helping adults model and reinforce the benefits of persistence and exploration for children.

    Chapters:

    00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Manu Kapur and the Concept of Productive Failure
    05:30 — The Science Behind Learning Through Failure
    12:00 — The “Four A’s” of Productive Failure: Activation, Awareness, Affect, and Assembly
    18:30 — Real-Life Examples: Productive Failure in the Classroom
    24:00 — The Role of Emotions in Memory and Learning
    30:05 — Applying Productive Failure in Daily Life
    36:25 — Parenting and Productive Failure: Teaching Kids Resilience
    41:50 — Productive Failure’s Global Applications and Cultural Reflections
    47:05 — Key Takeaways and Where to Find More from Dr. Kapur

    About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, and on this podcast, we dive deep into mental health and personal growth, bringing expert insights and practical advice to help you navigate life’s challenges. Join us for conversations that break down complex concepts into actionable steps.

    Guest Links:

    • Dr. Kapur’s Book: Productive Failure: Unlocking the Science of Failure for Deep Learning and Growth
    • Website: ProductiveFailure.com
    • Follow Dr. Kapur on LinkedIn,

    Connect With Me:

    • Website: http://duffthepsych.com
    • Instagram: http://instagram.com/duffthepsych
    • YouTube: http://youtube.com/duffthepsych

    #ProductiveFailure #Learning #Education #GrowthMindset #MentalHealth

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    47 mins
  • 419: Seth Godin - Using Strategy to Shape Your Life and Mental Health
    Oct 25 2024

    In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I’m thrilled to sit down with marketing guru and best-selling author Seth Godin. Seth shares his near-death experience off the coast of San Clemente—a moment that became a powerful reminder of his mission to teach and contribute. We explore his philosophy of “strategy as a philosophy of becoming” and discuss practical ways to craft personal life strategies that align with our values, whether in creativity, mental resilience, or personal growth.

    In our conversation, Seth and I cover a range of ideas, from recognizing societal systems that impact our lives to overcoming societal pressures and finding meaning in service to others. Seth’s “lifeguard analogy” emphasizes the importance of focusing on helping others, and his insights are full of actionable takeaways for anyone looking to lead a more purpose-driven life.

    Tune in for an episode packed with practical strategies and reflections that can help you shape a life you’re proud of.

    Topics Covered:

    • Breaking Down Writer’s Block and Building Creative Confidence
    • The Lifeguard Analogy: Why Starting with Generosity Can Change Your Life
    • Recognizing the Systems That Influence Our Daily Lives
    • How Strategy and Mental Health Intersect in Our Modern World
    • Building Powerful Daily Creative Habits
    • Avoiding the Trap of Playing Games We’re Meant to Lose
    • Developing Authentic Networks and Finding Your Community

    Timestamps:

    00:15 — Introduction: Meet Seth Godin
    02:05 — Breaking Down Writer’s Block and Building Creative Confidence
    06:00 — Learning Through the Lifeguard Analogy: How to Start Contributing Now
    12:15 — Recognizing the Systems Shaping Our Lives
    18:30 — Personal Strategy and Mental Health: How They Intersect
    24:00 — The Power of Daily Creative Habits
    30:40 — Real-Life Applications: Who's It For, What's It For?
    36:25 — Avoiding the Trap of Playing Games We’re Meant to Lose
    41:50 — How Strategy Can Help Us Cope with Modern Mental Health Challenges
    47:05 — Building Authentic Networks and Finding Community

    About the Podcast
    I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist dedicated to breaking down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and practical strategies to help you thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, useful tips, and answers to listener questions, all to support your journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.

    Guest Links:

    • Seth’s Latest Book: This is Strategy
    • Seth Godin’s Blog: Seth's Blog
    • Seth’s Podcast: Akimbo Podcast

    Connect With Me:

    • Website: duffthepsych.com
    • Instagram: @duffthepsych
    • YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel
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    45 mins
  • 418: Healing Childhood PTSD with Anna Runkle The Crappy Childhood Fairy
    Oct 18 2024
    In this episode, I sit down with Anna Runkle, better known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, to explore her journey of healing from childhood PTSD and the unique methods she has developed to help others do the same. Anna has helped hundreds of thousands of people worldwide re-regulate their nervous systems and recover from deep emotional wounds using simple but powerful techniques. We dive deep into what childhood PTSD really is, how it differs from complex PTSD, and what doctors often get wrong about trauma. Anna also shares her personal story of growing up in a chaotic commune, the lasting effects of emotional neglect and abandonment, and the practical steps she used to reclaim her life and happiness. Whether you're personally affected by trauma or seeking to support someone who is, Anna’s wisdom, tools, and personal insights provide valuable takeaways for anyone on a healing journey. Links: Order Anna's book Re-Regulated here: https://bit.ly/44Eo1ma Get Instant Access to Anna's free online course, The Daily Practice here:http://bit.ly/Cf CF_DailyPractice YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/CrappyChildhoodFairy Website: https://crappychildhoodfairy.com CCF Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/crappychildhoodfairy/ Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction Introduction to Anna Runkle, aka the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and her mission to help people heal from childhood PTSD.Overview of the topics to be covered: childhood trauma, PTSD, healing methods, and Anna’s personal story. 2:30 – Anna’s Early Life and Growing Up in a Commune Anna describes her chaotic upbringing in a Berkeley commune, surrounded by addiction, neglect, and violence.The impact of family addiction and how it shaped her view of the world. 7:15 – Understanding Childhood PTSD vs. Complex PTSD Anna explains the difference between childhood PTSD and complex PTSD, and why she uses a more accessible term for the general public.How childhood trauma can stay latent and resurface in adulthood after new traumatic events. 12:45 – Coping Mechanisms and the Breaking Point Anna shares how being the "good girl" helped her survive but eventually led to deep depression.Her experience of hitting rock bottom and the overwhelming effects of what she calls a "trauma storm." 16:30 – The Effects of Gaslighting and Emotional Neglect Anna discusses the emotional invalidation she faced growing up and the gaslighting that made her doubt her own reality.The lasting impact of growing up in an environment of denial. 21:00 – The Role of Attachment Wounds and Limerence How unresolved emotional neglect led to dysfunctional relationships in Anna’s life, especially through a phenomenon called "limerence"—an obsessive, addictive form of love.The cycle of seeking validation in unhealthy ways due to an insecure attachment style. 27:30 – Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation Anna explains the concept of nervous system dysregulation and how trauma impacts not only emotions but also physical health.Her personal health struggles with autoimmune diseases and chronic fatigue, and how regulating her nervous system led to profound healing. 33:00 – The Power of Simple Healing Techniques Anna shares the simple yet powerful technique of writing down fears and resentments daily, a method she learned from a friend in AA.How this practice gave her the emotional relief she had been seeking for years. 38:45 – Generational Trauma and Breaking the Cycle Anna reflects on the generational trauma in her family and the importance of breaking the cycle of emotional neglect and dysfunction.How her own healing journey has allowed her to parent with more stability and emotional availability. 43:00 – The Myth of ‘What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger’ Anna challenges the common belief that trauma automatically leads to growth, explaining that for many people, trauma can be devastating without proper support.The dangers of spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity. 48:15 – Finding True Healing and Becoming Your Full Self Anna talks about the ultimate goal of trauma healing: becoming your full, real self and creating space to hear your own inner guidance.The importance of personal freedom, acceptance, and helping others on their healing journey. 53:00 – Practical Takeaways and Final Thoughts Anna offers actionable advice for anyone struggling with childhood trauma, focusing on simple daily practices that help re-regulate the nervous system and foster healing.How to connect with Anna and learn more about her work with the Crappy Childhood Fairy. Key Takeaways: Childhood PTSD often goes unrecognized or is misunderstood, even within the medical community.Emotional neglect and trauma can deeply impact adult relationships, leading to patterns of insecurity and attachment wounds.Healing from trauma involves re-regulating the nervous system, a process that can lead to profound physical, emotional, and mental recovery.Simple daily practices, ...
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    1 hr and 9 mins
  • 417: Podcast Updates and Random Show!
    Oct 11 2024

    In this laid-back check-in episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I take you through a series of updates and random musings. I discuss the current state of the podcast, why I decided to fire my ad agency, and the recent revival of interviews. I also share some personal projects, from working on my bipolar disorder book to collaborating with my kids on a creative game inspired by Minecraft. Throughout, I reflect on AI innovations, the challenges of balancing podcasting with life, and ways I've been keeping active, like my new rucking routine. This episode is perfect for catching up on everything happening in my world, from professional changes to hobbies and everything in between.

    Links:

    • Email me with your questions or feedback.
    • Visit my website for more contact options.
    • Check out the Insight Neuropsychology blog for more brain-focused content.
    • NotebookLM
    • Pokémon Insurgence

    Chapters:

    00:00 Introduction

    01:00 Podcast Updates

    02:00 Fired Ad Agency

    05:00 Interview Segment Revival

    08:00 Changes in Podcast Style

    09:00 Decline in Podcast Numbers and Stepping Away from Ads

    11:00 Writing Update - Bipolar Book

    13:00 AI Adventures - ChatGPT Voice Mode Demo

    18:00 AI Applications - Notebook LM

    21:00 Personal Favorites - POV Cooking Channels

    22:00 Nostalgia Gaming - Pokémon Insurgence

    23:00 Podcast Recommendation - Tim Ferriss Interview with Elizabeth Gilbert

    24:00 Work and Mentorship Updates

    26:00 Fitness Journey - Rucking

    27:00 Creative Projects with Kids

    28:00 Reflections on Current Events and Mental Health

    29:00 Wrap-up

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    29 mins
  • 416: David Burns MD - "Feeling Good" Legend on Life, Legacy, and His New AI App
    Sep 27 2024

    In today’s episode, I had the absolute honor of sitting down with Dr. David Burns, a true legend in the field of mental health. Dr. Burns is not only a pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), but he’s also the best-selling author of Feeling Good and Feeling Great, which have collectively sold millions of copies worldwide. Spending so much time with him was a real treat, as he shared his incredible insights into mental health, his innovative T.E.A.M. Therapy method, and his groundbreaking Feeling Great App.

    We talked about how his methods are helping people achieve rapid and lasting recovery from depression, anxiety, and other difficult emotions, sometimes in just one session. Dr. Burns also gave us a behind-the-scenes look at how his AI-driven app is transforming mental health treatment, making it accessible and effective for people everywhere.

    This conversation was truly fascinating, and I’m sure you’ll find a ton of value in it. Whether you’re familiar with Dr. Burns’ work or hearing about him for the first time, you’ll come away with practical advice and a deeper understanding of how to break free from the emotional patterns holding you back.

    In this episode, we cover:

    • Dr. Burns' early work with CBT and how it evolved into T.E.A.M. Therapy.
    • The creation and impact of the Feeling Great App, and how it leverages AI to deliver therapy.
    • Why measuring progress in therapy is essential and how data-driven methods are changing the field.
    • The common cause behind many negative emotions, and how to tackle it.
    • Dr. Burns’ unique approach to therapy—including why he hasn’t charged for sessions in over 30 years.

    Links:

    https://feelinggood.com/

    https://www.feelinggreat.com/

    https://www.youtube.com/@UCEgz2rq7N1xCHMCcjdyU5zg

    https://feelinggood.com/books/

    Reach out!

    http://duffthepsych.com/contact

    duffthepsych@gmail.com

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    1 hr and 24 mins
  • 415: Latino Mental Health, Machismo, and Vulnerability as Strength with Dr. Paul Rivera
    Sep 20 2024

    Breaking Boundaries: Dr. Paul Rivera on Redefining Success and Masculinity

    In this episode, Dr. Paul Rivera, a first-generation Latino American, shares his inspiring journey navigating cultural expectations and his pursuit of a fulfilling life. From his early challenges growing up in a Latino neighborhood in Los Angeles to his prestigious roles as a professor and diplomat, Dr. Rivera discusses the importance of discovering one's unique superpower, embracing vulnerability as a strength, and redefining traditional notions of masculinity.

    Together with his wife, Dr. Rivera co-founded BE ACT Change, an organization focused on aligning individuals and organizations with their purpose. He also discusses their book, 'Creating Your Limitless Life,' which provides insights into achieving authentic success beyond material trappings. Tune in for valuable lessons on mental health, family dynamics, and sustainable change.

    https://www.instagram.com/be.act.change
    https://www.amazon.com/CREATING-YOUR-LIMITLESS-LIFE-Terms/dp/B0CHL3RW4L

    Sponsored by 23andMe, promoting proactive steps for health through genetic screening and personalized plans. http://23andme.com/duff

    00:00 Introduction: Dreams and Expectations
    00:25 Meet Dr. Paul Rivera: A Journey of Defying Expectations
    01:28 Navigating Cultural Expectations and Personal Aspirations
    02:22 Interview with Dr. Paul Rivera: Early Life and Influences
    03:12 Growing Up Latino in Los Angeles
    06:33 Balancing Work, Culture, and Personal Identity
    18:30 Family Dynamics and Personal Growth
    23:56 Challenging Machismo and Embracing Vulnerability
    29:50 The Power of Vulnerability
    30:38 Creating Safe Spaces at Home
    32:11 Community Outreach and Education
    33:47 Recognizing and Nurturing Potential
    35:07 Discovering Your Superpower
    37:03 Empowering Women in Leadership
    39:04 Building Trust and Overcoming Barriers
    40:21 The Journey to Self-Discovery
    42:36 From Diplomacy to Entrepreneurship
    43:32 The Mission of BeActChange
    51:21 Advice for Feeling Stuck
    56:30 Final Thoughts and Resources

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    58 mins