WARNING: This episode contains discussions of youth bullying and suicide.

What does it mean to transform heartbreak into hope? For Tony and Cassi Bellezza, the loss of their son Anthony was not the end of his story—it was the beginning of a mission. Anthony, a vibrant and compassionate child who lived with ADHD, inspired those around him with his unique ability to see the world through a lens of kindness. But his journey wasn’t without challenges: navigating school accommodations, transitioning between educational systems, facing bullying, and finding outlets for his passions.

In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, hosts Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright sit down with Tony and Cassi to explore the roots of Anthony’s Way - The Road to Kindness, the non-profit they founded to honor their son. They discuss how Anthony’s struggle—and his empathy—became the foundation for a program designed to help children and teens with ADHD not just survive, but thrive.

From the challenges of private school 504 plans to the life-changing impact of extracurricular activities, Tony and Cassi share personal stories of advocacy, resilience, and the profound importance of kindness. They also dive into the organization’s innovative Holistic Care Model, their Kindness Scholarship program, and the transformative power of community support.

This is a conversation about ADHD, yes—but it’s also about legacy. It’s about how one family took their pain and turned it into a movement. And it’s a reminder that kindness isn’t just a value—it’s a roadmap to something greater.

Links & Notes

• Learn more about Anthony’s Way - The Road to Kindness
• Sign up for the Road to Kindness Event
• Second Annual Walk for Kindness: February
• Support the organization
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:31) - Anthony's Way—The Road to Kindness

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Stuck. Not physically stuck, mind you, but mentally ensnared. Trapped in a linguistic labyrinth of our own making. For those of us navigating the intricate pathways of ADHD, this feeling of confinement can be particularly acute. It's a subtle trap, often disguised in the seemingly innocuous words we use – words like "just" and "only." These linguistic termites, seemingly insignificant on their own, can gnaw at the foundations of our self-worth, leaving us feeling perpetually inadequate.

Think about it. How often have you dismissed your accomplishments with a self-deprecating "Oh, it was just a small project"? Or downplayed your efforts with an apologetic "I only managed to get half of it done"? These seemingly harmless qualifiers, these verbal tics, are more potent than they appear. They're the building blocks of what Nikki and Pete call out as the "Language of Limitation."

In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, they explore the hidden architecture of this linguistic prison. They explore how these self-limiting phrases, often echoes of childhood pronouncements and internalized criticisms, shape our perceptions and perpetuate a cycle of negative self-talk. It's an exploration of the power of language – how the words we use, both internally and externally, can either liberate or confine us. The pull apart the mechanics of reframing with strategies to dismantle the limiting narratives we’ve constructed around ourselves. They explore the art of mindful communication, offering techniques to navigate the often-treacherous terrain of social interactions.

Language is a tool, and like any tool, it can be used to build or to destroy. Join Nikki and Pete as they illuminate the path toward linguistic liberation, one "just" and "only" at a time. It's a journey worth taking.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:21) - Join the Community!
• (03:25) - The Language of Limitation
• (22:01) - Structured Journaling

What if, instead of chasing perfection, we celebrated progress? What if the courage it takes to live with ADHD wasn’t just acknowledged but honored? This week on The ADHD Podcast, Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright (Nikki and Pete) challenge us to pause, reflect, and rewrite the stories we tell ourselves. This isn’t about doing more or trying harder—it’s about recognizing the monumental effort ADHDers put into simply existing in a world that often misunderstands them.

Here’s the truth: ADHD is not a character flaw. It’s not your fault. It’s real, complex, and challenging. Yet, too often, those with ADHD dismiss their victories, minimize their strengths, and shoulder blame that isn’t theirs. Nikki and Pete remind us that this cycle of self-criticism—those loud should statements and limiting beliefs—isn’t helping.

Living with ADHD takes courage, adaptability, and resilience. But ADHDers rarely give themselves credit for what they do accomplish. This episode is a rallying cry to celebrate just that—everything you’ve already done, no matter how small it seems.

Because:

• Progress, not perfection, is what matters.
• Resting counts.
• Lowering expectations isn’t giving up—it’s being realistic and kind.
• Asking for help shows wisdom, not weakness.

And above all, ADHD is something you have, not who you are.

This isn’t about celebrating accomplishments. It’s about rejecting perfectionism, reframing expectations, and creating a mindset that allows you to thrive. ADHD doesn’t define you, but it does shape how you live—and that’s something to honor.

So pause. Recognize your efforts. Celebrate what you do. You’ve got this.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:06) - Celebrating What We Do

In episode 3001, Nikki and Pete embark on a journey into the heart of the "try-hard trap." It's a familiar snare, isn't it? That relentless, gnawing feeling that we're not doing enough, that we should be doing more. That we're perpetually falling short of some invisible, yet omnipresent, standard.

Pete and Nikki explore the insidious ways in which societal pressures, internalized expectations, and the ever-present lure of FOMO (fear of missing out) conspire to keep us perpetually spinning on the hamster wheel of "trying harder." But what if, just what if, the key to unlocking our potential lies not in more effort, but in less? What if, as Pete suggests, true progress comes from letting go of the illusion of control, the unattainable ideal of perfection, and the corrosive power of self-criticism?

This isn't about surrendering to inertia, sinking into the couch, and embracing a life of indolence. Far from it. It's about recognizing the inherent limitations of our ADHD brains, and working with them, not against them. It's about embracing "good enough" as a legitimate, even laudable, achievement. It's about finding a sustainable pace, setting realistic expectations, and celebrating the small victories along the way.

Nikki offers practical strategies for navigating the try-hard trap. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, understanding our individual energy rhythms, and communicating our needs to others. It's about recognizing that disappointing people is sometimes necessary, even healthy. It's about prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and recognizing that we are ultimately responsible for our own well-being.

Links & Notes

• Buy the Book! Unapologetically ADHD is Available Now
• Find us on Bluesky! @TakeControlADHD • @PeteWright • @NKinzer
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (05:23) - The ADHD Try-Hard Trap
• (14:20) - What We Mean by Letting Go

Clutter. It's the silent scream of the modern age. A creeping accumulation of stuff that somehow, insidiously, steals not just our physical space, but our mental bandwidth, too. We’re drowning in it, folks. Drowning in a sea of forgotten birthday presents, impulse buys gathering dust, and that project – that project – we swore we’d finish… someday. Sound familiar? It should. Because this isn’t just about messy desks and overflowing closets. This is about cognitive overload, the subtle but persistent drain on our executive functions that leaves us feeling scattered, overwhelmed, and perpetually behind.

On this episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Nikki and Pete dive headfirst into decluttering, exploring the peculiar relationship between our stuff and our sanity. They unpack the surprising statistics – the sheer volume of possessions we rarely use, the days of our lives lost searching for misplaced keys – and dissect the emotional baggage that comes with letting go. It’s a struggle many of us know all too well: the guilt, the shame, the nagging feeling that we should be more organized.

Think of this episode as a cognitive cleanse, a much-needed decluttering of your mental attic. It's a conversation that will resonate with anyone who has ever felt the weight of their possessions, the insidious creep of clutter, and the liberating potential of a clean slate. Join Nikki and Pete as they navigate the messy, often emotional, but ultimately rewarding journey of taking control of your space, your time, and your mind.

When you’re ready, join us for the 2025 Declutter Challenge!

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:21) - Discord! Patreon! More ADHD Fun!
• (03:41) - It's Decluttering Season!

David Greenwood is decoding burnout. In his exploration of this pervasive modern malaise, he's ventured into the very trenches of exhaustion, spoken with those who have stared into the abyss of depleted energy, and conferred with the experts who chart the treacherous landscape of chronic stress.

This week on the show, David sits down with Nikki and Pete to discuss the often-overlooked connection between ADHD and burnout. They explore the surprising statistic that suggests a staggering disparity: up to 93% of adults with ADHD grapple with burnout symptoms, compared to a mere 30% of the general population. What accounts for this chasm? Is it the relentless pursuit of perfection, the constant struggle for self-regulation, or the insidious creep of executive dysfunction that leaves one perpetually playing catch-up?

Together, they dissect the nuanced symptoms of burnout, moving beyond the simplistic notion of mere tiredness. They explore the physical manifestations, the emotional toll, and the mental exhaustion that can leave one feeling utterly depleted. They discuss how the very nature of ADHD, with its challenges in time management, emotional regulation, and sustained focus, can create a perfect storm for burnout to flourish.

David shares his unique perspective, honed through years of experience, offering practical strategies for recognizing the early warning signs and reclaiming control. He emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between stress and burnout, highlighting the critical need to address the root causes of chronic stress before it escalates into full-blown burnout. He introduces a deceptively simple yet profound tool for self-assessment: What are you complaining about? This seemingly innocuous question, he argues, can unlock a deeper understanding of the stressors that are silently chipping away at our well-being.

Join Nikki, Pete, and David for a conversation that is as insightful as it is practical, as thought-provoking as it is empowering. They offer a roadmap for navigating the complexities of burnout, providing the tools to reclaim energy, focus, and lives.

Links and Notes

• Overcoming Distractions Podcast
• Overcoming Burnout by David Greenwood
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (00:54) - Support the Show • Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (02:00) - Introducing David Greenwood
• (03:20) - Exploring Burnout
• (38:02) - Learn More

Have you ever felt like you were living someone else's life? That the carefully constructed path you were on, the one paved with good grades, the "right" job, the societal expectations… it wasn't yours? Kate House did. At 25, she had what she calls a "quarter-life crisis." And what she discovered on the other side of that existential meltdown might just change how you think about living with intention.

Nikki and Pete sit down with Kate, a behavior change specialist and empowerment coach, to dissect the difference between living by default and living by design. It's a conversation that resonates deeply, particularly for those of us with ADHD, whose brains often feel wired for the former. Kate's story is one of transformation, from burnt-out corporate drone to energized entrepreneur, fueled by a simple question: "What's the next right step?"

This isn't about meticulously plotting out the next decade of your life. It's about recognizing the power of small actions, the ripple effect of tiny choices that can shift your trajectory from a life of quiet desperation to one filled with purpose and, dare we say it, sparkle. It's a human story, a universal struggle to break free from the inertia of expectation and embrace the messy, beautiful journey of self-discovery.

Kate shares her wisdom gleaned from hosting the Live by Design Podcast, where she explores these very themes with her own community. She helps high-achieving women reclaim their time and energy, setting goals with soul and building sustainable habits. If you're ready to ditch the default and design a life you truly love, this conversation is a must-listen.

Join Nikki, Pete, and Kate for a conversation that will leave you questioning your own defaults and inspire you to take control of the narrative, one small step at a time. Because sometimes, the smallest shift can unlock the greatest transformation.

Links:

• ADHD Discord Community
• Patreon
• Live by Design Podcast
• Kate House Coaching

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:50) - Support the Show: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (03:22) - Introducing Kate House
• (04:04) - The Role of the Empowerment Coach
• (10:28) - Sidebar: Gendered Conversations
• (14:14) - Living By Design
• (32:03) - Goals with Soul

Burnout, frazzled nerves, and the daunting task of remembering the future: sound familiar? Join Nikki and Pete, your ADHD Sherpas, as they recap their experience at the 2024 International Conference on ADHD, armed with insights, new strategies, and a touch of the conference crud.

Pete, a conference newbie, marvels at the instant connection with "his people," recounting chance encounters that blossom into deep dives on everything from queer issues to ADHD. It's a fishbowl, but one brimming with empathy. Nikki, a conference veteran, shares stories of attendees finding solace and validation, highlighting the power of shared experience.

This isn't just a recap; it's a toolkit! Nikki unpacks Tamra Rosier's wisdom on the ADHD nervous system, that high-strung racehorse veering between hyperarousal and shutdown. Discover strategies to regain control, from the five-four-three-two-one grounding technique to the surprisingly soothing "head hug." They even explore the intriguing world of EFT for anxiety relief.

And there's more! Pete explores ADHD-friendly personal finance and the SAVER model offers a path to financial sanity, emphasizing streamlined systems and, crucially, engagement.

So, grab your tissues (allergies, we promise), and join Nikki and Pete for a conversation that we hope is both insightful and relatable. It's a reminder that even amidst the chaos, there's a community that gets it.

Links & Notes

• You Me and Our ADHD Family by Tamara Rosier
• 2024 International Conference on ADHD
• Discord
• Patreon

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:30) - 2024 International Conference on ADHD
• (07:39) - Session Run-Through