Episodes

  • Avoid Divorce: A Couple's Guide to Rebuilding Love and Connection | Casey and Meygan Caston | #107

    Avoid Divorce: A Couple's Guide to Rebuilding Love and Connection | Casey and Meygan Caston | #107
    Nov 18 2024

    In this inspiring episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dave Schramm and Liz
    Hale welcome Casey and Meygan Caston, founders of Marriage 365, to share their journey from the brink of divorce to becoming marriage mentors. They discuss practical tools like the weekly marriage business meeting, emotional check-ins, and the 60-second blessing to help couples reconnect and thrive. With an emphasis on curiosity, intentionality, and self-awareness, the Castons provide actionable insights to strengthen relationships and build a lasting legacy of love.

    Rebuilding love and connection starts with intentionality, curiosity, and the courage to work on yourself. Simple, consistent habits can create a strong, lasting marriage.

    About Casey & Meygan:

    Just three years into marriage, we were voted the couple least likely to succeed. We literally
    hated each other and had no idea how to get back the love and connection we’d once felt.
    Through lots of stumbling and trial and error, we did manage to walk back from the brink of
    divorce. But it was incredibly hard. Largely because there were no affordable and accessible
    resources for us back then. We felt like we were fumbling around in the dark.

    So we created the exact resource we wish we’d had: Marriage365. Our restored marriage was
    the inspiration to help other couples who were feeling stuck, lost, and confused about how to
    reconnect. Today, our app and website reach millions of couples around the world every day,
    providing practical advice, tools, and inspiration. You can find all of those resources at
    www.marriage365.com. Our mission is to create a safe place for people to grow and ask
    questions that is available to anyone. Money or privilege should never prevent someone from
    getting the tools they need to better themselves and their relationships.

    Insights:

    • Meygan: "I think everybody should lift up their head and do an emotional check in with themselves, and pick an area of their life where they know that it could probably be better, health, parenting, work, marriage, and just ask yourself, what's working, what's not working, and what needs to change. And that will be truly a gift of self care for someone listening today."
    • Casey: "If you want to make a better marriage, make a better you, it is a message of empowerment, and it means that you can actually work on your marriage by yourself. You don't have to wait and don't have to feel stuck because your partner's not willing to join. That means, as Liz, I think you said, we take 100% responsibility of our of our marriage, and we own it and we they I'm gonna work on myself, regardless
      of you. And I think marriage forces you to work on yourself, like when you're single, nobody can come over and go, You know what? You should really shouldn't say stuff like that. It's inappropriate. Marriage is a great tool for self development."
    • Liz: "...the power of the tongue. Your Words have the power to give life or death. Yep, we know that. I just don't think of that nearly enough."
    • Dave: "I think that that, honesty, is the key to the stronger marriage connection. I mean, the 60 seconds. It's this intentionality, it's, you know what? But I've never done that, and that might feel awkward for me, but if couples will just do it, adopt some of these positive practices to build that relationship connection. Check in, think of that other person, get curious, ask some questions, and then the sincere compliments,
      really genuinely eye to eye, knee ball, knee or eyeball to eyeball, kneecap to kneecap, looking them in the eye, and sharing how you really feel deeply about them, whether you appreciate about them."

    Links:

    https://marriage365.com/
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    57 mins
  • Understanding Our Emotional Cycles | Jake Baczuk | #106

    Understanding Our Emotional Cycles | Jake Baczuk | #106
    Nov 11 2024
    In this insightful episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm andDr. Liz Hale are joined by therapist Jake Baczuk to explore the transformative concepts of the pain and peace cycles. Jake, a clinical manager and couples’ therapist, explains how negative patterns in behavior and communication create pain cycles that keep couples stuck in frustration and resentment. He introduces the peace cycle as a way to disrupt these patterns by focusing on understanding underlying emotions and unmet needs. Tune in to learn about the practical tools and techniques to foster empathy, self-reflection, and more peaceful responses in your relationships. About Jake Baczuk: Jake is a clinical manager for evolvedMD, an integrated behavioral health company that utilizes the Collaborative Care Model in Primary Care settings. Jake is passionate about this because they are creating access to mental and behavioral health to a population that would not otherwise receive help. It's amazing! He enjoys writing and playing music, playing softball, watching baseball, and spending time with his wife and three kids. He enjoys doing couples therapy and hope’s to start a small private practice in the near future. Insights: Jake: "Recognize that we're all human beings. We're all human beings that are going to make mistakes that we're not necessarily broken or wrong or anything like that, because our love or trustworthiness was breached at some point in our life. We're just human beings, right? And when we understand that human element of ourselves, then we have so many opportunities to move in directions that are healthy, that we want to go, whether it's individually or within our relationship or within our family or at work or anything like that, right? So we're all human beings."Liz: "I think whether we're partners or just people, individuals. We're powerful. So, as we look at the pain cycle or the peace cycle, I just think that there's probably a magic in the pause just to think, now wait a minute, where might that person be coming from? What's really going underneath their behavior? So, I love that. I love the reminder of that cycle."Dave: "I think what stood out is when you talked about the boxes and learning not to react to your partner's behavior, but really respond to what's underneath, and that's the emotions. These needs are often deep and hidden, but if we can look past that and really see them and understand them, may not even agree with that, but still to understand with that, that understanding is powerful, and understanding this, thispain and these peace cycles that we're often blind to. We don't get it. We're so deep into it that we can't step outside and see that we're stuck and often creating the very problems that we don't like in our in the own reactions that our partner, that we're almost helping to create those which is this, yeah, this paradox." Links: Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    48 mins
  • Listening and Emotional Regulation | Heather Holmgren | #105

    Listening and Emotional Regulation | Heather Holmgren | #105
    Nov 4 2024
    In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr.Liz Hale sit down with Heather Holmgren, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Simple Modern Therapy. Heather shares insights on emotional regulation, the essential skill of deep listening, and how to approach conflict with curiosity rather than reactivity. She explains the importance of self- awareness, emotional control, and co-regulation to help couples navigate difficult conversations. Heather provides actionable advice for slowing down during conflicts, truly hearing your partner, and fostering a healthy, supportive relationship. Tune in to discover practical tips to strengthen communication and deepen your connection. About Heather: Heather Holmgren, LMFT and founder of Simple Modern Therapy, has committed her 20-yearcareer to understanding what makes a modern relationship thrive.Through it all she has foundthis much to be true: if you aren't happy with yourself, your intimate and professionalrelationships are likely to fail. She has built a flourishing career and flourishing practice helping contemporary individuals, relationships and families learn to love each other, “Love Yourself and Love Your Life." She is one of eight incredible therapists providing support to individuals and relationships indowntown Salt Lake City (and Utah, virtually). All Simple Modern therapists have additionaltraining and expertise in relationship work, as well as providing affirming care to LGBTQIA+relationships. Heather is passionate about professional mentorship and has supervised clinicians for the lastten years. She is a strong advocate for the practice of good mental hygiene, and can be foundspeaking on this topic, as well as relationship related issues on Good Things Utah, at EdisonHouse and for corporations across the state. You can also find Heather, with her colleagueAndrès Brown, providing training, support and consultation to the larger therapeuticcommunity, expanding the reach of skilled and affirming inclusive relationship therapy. Insights: Heather: "The more aware you are of where you are emotionally, what kind of outside stressors are impacting your mental health and mood can really be a big factor in how you're showing up in your relationships. So take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. It's not selfish, it is self care, and that helps us be much more effective in our relationships. And you know, secondarily, I feel like I have to say that listening is anart, and if we think we're good at communicating, we have to ask ourselves, how good am I at really listening to understand at relationally attuning."Liz: "Just thinking about speaking of being generous and kind. I think listening is one of the more generous and kindest things that we can do."Dave: "I think it's when you're talking about the pause. I just think that there's a power in the pause. The power in the pause to be able to not react, to be able to gives us at least a chance, pause, take a breath, allow our hearts, our minds, our brains, to be able to okay, I'm going to reflect and respond instead of react right now." Links: https://simplemodern.org/ https://www.instagram.com/simplemoderntherapy/?hl=en https://www.facebook.com/SimpleModernTherapy https://www.linkedin.com/company/simple-modern-therapy/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    41 mins
  • Love for Mental Illness | Andy Hogan | #104

    Love for Mental Illness | Andy Hogan | #104
    Oct 28 2024
    Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome licensed mental health counselor Andy Hogan, who shares his personal journey with mental illness and how it has influenced his work with others. Andy introduces his REACH acronym—a powerful tool designed to support both those living with mental illness and their loved ones. The discussion dives into the importance of love over fear in the healing journey, methods to recognize and manage symptoms, and ways to build empathy and connection. Learn how to better support mental health with compassion and understanding. About Andy Hogan: Andrew personally suffered a manic psychosis breakdown while serving a mission in Taiwan. He was tranquilized and woke up in a hospital in Provo. During a month-stay in the hospital, his high school sweetheart decided to end their relationship. They never talked about why, she just slowly made less and less contact and avoided him over a period of time. 3 years later, Andrew became so desperate for an answer, he proposed. She said, "I can't." This was his rock bottom moment, where the choice was either stop living or start to REACH. REACH is the acronym for the steps Andrew took personally, and the steps he later would teach professionally of how to find love for mental illness.1. Recognize the source of my symptoms.2. Emerge from denial and isolation.3. Authenticate self and mental illness.4. Control the disorder as we are able.5. Heighten our lives. While learning to REACH, Andrew started dating again. On jod first date with Sariah who had also served a mission in Taiwan, he told her he was the one who went crazy on the island. She replied, "That was you?" She had served in a different mission over a year after his breakdown, but she had heard about the missionary who went crazy. After our date, Sariah talked to her parents who said, "If you decide to love him, we will love him too." They chose to give love for mental illness and Sariah courageously decided to keep dating me. Their marriage started as a choice for love instead of a reaction to fear of mental illness. Making that choice again and again for going-on 30 years now, is how REACH has made for happiness and growing connection in their relationship. Insights: Andy: "the thing you can do to help someone with mental illness or to help yourself, if you're the one, if you recognize mental illness in yourself, the thing you can do is to face your fears and learn to love in yourn thoughts, in your beliefs and in your actions, there is something you can do, and it works, it helps. That is the thing you can do for mental illness, is give love. Give love for mental illness."Liz: " love this whole fear, this whole idea about fear really creates more pain, creates more separation, but that love and acceptance would create, that's what creates health and connection. They stuff that was really beautiful. I'm going to think differently about mental illness because of our time with you, Andy."Dave: "I love the reach acronym. Our illness doesn't define us. It is our feelings. All that we're struggling with doesn't define us." Links: www.ReachAndyHogan.com https://www.youtube.com/@reachandyhogan Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • Infertility Trauma, Reproductive Health, and Therapy | Amelia Hopkin | #103

    Infertility Trauma, Reproductive Health, and Therapy | Amelia Hopkin | #103
    Oct 21 2024
    In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm talk with licensed clinical social worker Amelia Hopkin about the emotional and physical struggles associated with infertility. Amelia shares how fertility issues impact relationships, the role offamily support, and the healing power of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) for couples dealing with reproductive health trauma. She also provides guidance on navigating infertility treatments and offers valuable resources for those on this difficult journey. About Amelia Hopkin: Amelia Hopkin has spent the last 23 years providing help and building relationships with medical providers, community organizations, researchers, educators and most importantly, families who experience one of the hardest kinds of experiences... Infant or pregnancy loss, infertility, unexpected birth experiences, various degrees and types of postpartum depression, NICU stays as well as sexual or health related trauma. She has been a speaker and trainer at both national and international conferences (ask her about speaking to the UN and her month at the HRC!), a published researcher, is certified in EMDR and trained in ART (the therapy kind, she's a horrible artist and needs to label her stick figures). As one of the only trained EMDR intensive providers in the state of Utah, she helps those who have limited time and significant trauma find deep and meaningful healing. Click on the EMDR tab for more info on that. When not in the office, Amelia may be getting in over her head on a DIY project, reading books, dreaming up a new travel adventure, finding nature, looking for ways to avoid doing laundry or trying out a new restaurant or recipe. Insights: Amelia: "...if you're experiencing fertility struggles, you are not alone, that number is one in six. There are some really fantastic resources."Liz: "the thought of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, right with whatever it is that is troubling us..."Dave" "I think my takeaway the day really is the no shame, no blaming of yourself through this journey, I'm sure, so easily to turn inward and then to have those suffocating feelings that can feel overwhelming, that affect your marriage and your outlook, your life, your eating, sleeping every this will affect your lifein so many ways. I hope people won't go there or stay there too long. Did you realize this is nothing you did you know anything so not that. Avoid that blame and shame game. Keep those eyes up and looking for resources and help." Links: https://www.growing-the-good.com/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    53 mins
  • Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Marriage | Boone Christianson & Kaprena Moore | #102

    Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Marriage | Boone Christianson & Kaprena Moore | #102
    Oct 14 2024
    In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with marriage therapists Boone Christensen and Kaprena Moore to discuss how couples can establish and maintain healthy boundaries in their relationships. They explain what boundaries look like in marriage, why they’re important, and how to effectively communicate them. Boone and Kaprena share real-life examples and provide tips on dealing with common boundary issues, including emotional safety, parenting, and handling conflicts. The episode highlights how boundaries can foster love, respect, and protection, rather than control. About Boone & Kaprena: Boone and Kaprena own Steps Family Therapy in Spanish Fork, where they conduct individual, couple, and family therapy. They both performed qualitative research in graduate school on the role of clergy in mental health and relational issues. When not doing therapy or spending time with their two kids, Boone loves camping, fishing, and reading research on therapist development. Kaprena loves planning events, writing music, and yoga. They are both consultants for the mental health company, Mindless. Insights: Boone: "I'd say boundaries are the things you do to protect yourself and keep yourself healthy. They are nothing that you expect anybody else to do anything about."Kaprena: "When boundaries are about changing and manipulating your partner, they are poisonous. When they are about protecting yourself, they can convey love."Liz: "I think boundaries really are about safety. It's not just my feelings, but my partner's feelings. I just I do think of a cocoon a little bit when I think of a boundary or fenced in area where we're both inside, and it's not about the rupture, it's about making room for both of us."Dave: "I think that the boundaries perhaps can change. Is that possible over time? Is more understanding and his development and his relationship changes, still to have protection, but there may not be boundaries now we're okay. We need to adjust this. If I have a child that's living at home, or if there's a an accident or mental health or struggles or things okay, we need to adjust the boundaries here of what's happening to keep that protection in place." Links: https://stepsfamilytherapy.blogspot.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@boonechristianson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therapy_with_boone_lmft/?hl=en Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • Learning To Manage & Love Motherhood | Rachel Nielson | #101

    Learning To Manage & Love Motherhood | Rachel Nielson | #101
    Oct 7 2024
    In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Rachel Nielson, host of the podcast Three in 30 Takeaways for Moms. Rachel opens up about her personal journey through motherhood, from the struggles of balancing expectations to finding joy in her role. She shares insights from therapy, practical strategies for decluttering your mental and emotional space, and ways to set healthy boundaries. Rachel also discusses how couples can support one another in parenting and offers actionable steps to bring more joy into motherhood and family life. About Rachel Nielson: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is a podcast hosted by Rachel Nielson, a lover of practical ideas, conversations with kindred spirits, and her two wild miracle children who keep life interesting. After a long fight to become a mother through adoption and IVF, Rachel truly believed that she would thrive as a mom from day one. Her transition into motherhood was a little bumpier than she had imagined, and she sought the help of professionals for actionable advice. 3 in 30 is for moms who are short on time and brain space. In each 30-minute episode, Rachel and her guests share three actionable takeaways to help you be less overwhelmed and more self-assured in your motherhood. Rachel covers a wide variety of topics– from emotional resilience, to productivity and time management tips, to talking to your kids about racism, disability, mental health, and so much more. Insights: Rachel: "The key for me has been the realization that I can examine my thoughts and choose thoughts that are more helpful and uplifting and empowering and make me feel like the best version of myself."Dave: "There are many ways to be a good mom."Liz: "I love that first step of cleaning out, decluttering the motherhood closet. I'm not a mother, but I certainly have a clutter closet in my mind, the brain dump and listing all the should" Links: 3in30Podcast Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    40 mins
  • Resilience Makes Marriage Last | Dr. Christian and Dr. Caroline Heim | #100

    Resilience Makes Marriage Last | Dr. Christian and Dr. Caroline Heim | #100
    Sep 30 2024
    Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome renowned marriage experts, Dr. Christian Heim and Dr. Caroline Heim, from Australia. They discuss insights from the largest global study on long-term relationships, revealing the key elements that make marriages last. The conversation highlights the importance of commitment, altruism, and shared values while addressing the challenges of hyper-individualism, social isolation, and mental health struggles. Whether you're single, married, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers invaluable tools and perspectives to strengthen your relationship. #marraigeadvice #resilience #marraigeresilience #makingmarriagework About: Christian Heim FRANZCP, PhD is a psychiatrist, a Clinical Director in Mental Health Services, Senior Lecturer in the School of Medicine at the University of Queensland and a Churchill Fellow. Christian gives keynotes internationally on preventative mental health. In private psychiatry, he subspecializes in war-related and severe childhood sexual trauma, and couple therapy where mental illness is prominent. Christian publishes books and journal articles in the area of preventative mental health. His latest book was co-authored with Caroline Heim: Resilient Relationships: techniques for surviving hyper-individualism, social isolation and a mental health crisis. (Routledge, 2023). Caroline Heim is an Associate Professor at Queensland University of Technology. She has published two books in theatre studies and is a global authority on the psychology of relationships in the theatre. Caroline gives keynotes internationally and her numerous articles cover various topics from audiences to the mental health of university students. Specialising in empirical research, she has interviewed over 300 people internationally. Before entering academia, Caroline studied theatre and worked in New York winning a Drama League Award. Insights: Christian: "it doesn't matter how you do it. There are different ways to do things however your relationship works, is the way that your relationship works. Don't feel that you've got to find a formula, but the key to me is that your relationship is your greatest asset, and that means that it'll take some nurturing, it'll take some investment, it'll take time, energy and effort, but gosh, it's worthwhile."Caroline: "'I'd say probably, is altruism, our second finding. Because, as I said, it's not much in the literature. And these couples that put the others needs before there's I could see that they had, again, this strong connection. And. So as we said, it's hard to do that in a in a society that says that everything's got to be about me, and it's about my needs, and if I'm not getting what I want from this relationship, then I'm out of here. But as one, as many of the couples actually said it's much easier to walk away and then to stay and fight for your marriage, you and me against the world, basically."Dave: "At so many levels, I love this idea of, I'll call it search inward, turn outward. That's how I like to think of this searching or what are my values and what are our values, and then turning outward with that altruism and how, what can I do for my spouse or my partner today to make their day better? It's this outward mindset, really, of thinking about the we rather than the me. I haven't heard that term hyper individualism, but man, I think that's, that's spot on. I feel like that's like the number one killer in relationships today."Liz: "You know what I'm really happy to hear Caroline and Christian say is that has benefited their marriage, because this five year study, I doubt there was a lot of income they were getting from this study. There was a lot of giving and listening and noting, and so I'm so pleased that there was this flip effect of blessing your own marriage. Really happy to hear that for you and another takeaway, I mean, one of my favorite events with the recent Olympic Olympics was synchronized diving, and I never thought about it to go for the gold. That the more difficult, the more points, the more opportunity for gold. I thought that was just brilliant." Links: Resilient Relationships Dr. Christian Heim Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    54 mins