Episodes

  • Overcoming The Trauma of Betrayal | Crystal Hollenbeck | #98

    Overcoming The Trauma of Betrayal | Crystal Hollenbeck | #98
    Sep 16 2024
    In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome betrayal trauma expert Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck to discuss the emotional complexities and recovery strategies for betrayal trauma. The conversation dives into the impact of betrayal, particularly the intense anger experienced by the betrayed partner, and how to navigate the healing process. Dr. Hollenbeck outlines therapeutic techniques, including her self-regulation model, and discusses why many partners remain in relationships post-betrayal. This episode is filled with practical advice, research-backed insights, and hope for those struggling to overcome the devastating effects of betrayal in relationships. About: Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Betrayal Trauma Specialist and helps couples heal the wounds ofbetrayal trauma. Her article recently published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapyprovides recommendations for clinicians to help betrayed partners manage the complexity ofbetrayal trauma anger. Her book entitled, "Betrayal Trauma Anger: You are not crazy, you areangry, and you should be" is coming soon. Crystal is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Florida State Qualified Supervisor for those seeking a license in Mental Health Counseling or Marriage and Family Therapy. In addition, she is also a Certified Professional Life Coach. Being a Therapist and a Life Coach gives her the unique ability to help clients heal from the past and live their best life today. Her approach to counseling and coaching is non-judgmental, caring, and solution focused. She believes counseling and coaching are an essential part of a person’s ability to live the life they desire and she strives to provide a counseling setting where you can feel safe to work through the difficulty you are facing with hope. Dedicating her life to helping others as a therapist andcoach is a result of post traumatic growth from her own personal life experiences. Insights: Crystal - "Betrayal is a devastating injustice. And although you're going to feel like you're crazy, you're not crazy, you're angry and you should be."Dave - "I think the take home for me, at least one of the many, is that avoiding that self-blame, it's that all of a sudden that inward right and anger, anger turns this inward, and then it's some of this, you know, maybe outward at first, but then it's this inward of what? What did I do? Am I not skinny enough? Why? Why did they do kind of searching for the why and then blaming themselves for this? I love that message."Liz - "I've never heard the great advice around self-harm regarding using an ice cube, rubber band, rubber band, I've heard, but Ice Cube I haven't. I really love both of those, actually. So, thank you for that. Because as I get that, I get that you're just trying to use access to physical pain to release the emotional pain. Makes perfect sense, actually, but harmful. We're just continuing the on the harm, so we have to stop, and I really appreciate you bringing that to our attention." Links: https://crystalhollenbeck.com/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    40 mins
  • Emotion Focused Therapy and Our Inner Critic | Dr. Debi Gilmore | #97

    Emotion Focused Therapy and Our Inner Critic | Dr. Debi Gilmore | #97
    Sep 9 2024
    In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Dr. Debi Gilmore, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, to discuss Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Dr. Gilmore shares insights into how EFT helps couples strengthen their emotional bonds, navigate pain, and foster connection. She also offers practical tips couples can use to improve their relationships, including the “Four Mantras of Love” and the “ARE” model (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged). This episode is packed with strategies to help couples rediscover connection and navigate challenges in their relationships. About Dr. Debi Gilmore: Dr. Debi Gilmore is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, public speaker, professional educator, author, and co-owner of The EFT Counseling and Education Center, a large mental health clinic specializing in couples therapy serving Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Nevada, and Arizona. Debi trains therapists seeking licensure or certification as an Emotionally Focused Therapist. She is co-founder and developer of the Building A Lasting Connection™ and Lasting Connection System™ mats. The Building A Lasting Connection™ (BLC) relationship program is based on her doctoral dissertation focused on premarital education. The Lasting Connection System™ mats and BLC program are being used by therapists and workshop facilitators across the world. Insights: Debi: "The takeaway is I need to be better. I need to listen more intently, I need to love more abundantly, and I need to forgive more swiftly. So I'm going to say what I'm taking away is I will apply those things to myself."Dave: "I love acronyms. It's the R, the A, R, E, is it? Make sure I got to write the accessible, responsive and engaged."Liz: "It's really a combination of what the two of you have both talked about, I love that. What's the glory in your story? Dave, that's so beautiful. And for Debbie to suggest, when she first sits down with a couple, is to say, tell me about the first time you saw her. Tell me about the first time you saw him. For any of us to really go back in time, whether we've been married a year, 10 years, 30 years, 50 years, to remember those earlier times. They're precious, right? And they're powerful at the same time." Debi Gilmore’s Resources:www.drdebigilmore.com www.eftcounseling.orgInstagram: thttps://www.instagram.com/the_love.therapist/?hl=enFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/degilmo/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdebigilmore/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    40 mins
  • Christian St. Jacques | Healing Male Childhood Trauma and How to Fix its Impact on Marriage | #96

    Christian St. Jacques | Healing Male Childhood Trauma and How to Fix its Impact on Marriage | #96
    Sep 2 2024
    In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Christian St. Jacques, a holistic men's and relationship counselor, to explore the challenges men face in prioritizing mental health. Christian shares his journey of overcoming a dysfunctional family background, highlighting the importance of grounding oneself in purpose-driven values rather than performance-based identities. He discusses common obstacles men encounter, such as societal expectations and the struggle to balance roles as husbands and fathers. The conversation offers practical advice for men to achieve intentional growth and foster stronger connections in their relationships and communities. About Christian St. Jaques: bout Christian St. Jacques: Christian St. Jacques is a licensed mental health care associate (LMHCA) in Washington State who received his Masters in Counseling and Mental Health at Northwest University. He specializes in working with teens, young and older adult males, and couples. Christian draws from a variety of evidence-based approaches including Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), Attachment, Family Systems model, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Solution Focused Therapy. He addresses every client holistically by evaluating all biological, psychological, social, and spiritual variables that factor in an individual's mental health. Working within a variety of therapeutic frameworks that are adapted based on the needs of the individual or couple. The issues and challenges that you bring to counseling will provide the context for our work. In your time together, you will explore any one or a combination but not limited to your cognitive mental models, current and past relational patterns to gain insight into the origins of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Christian St. Jacques Links: https://www.narrative-counseling.com/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    50 mins
  • Debunking Common Myths About Sexuality: What The Science Really Says | Dean Busby | #95

    Debunking Common Myths About Sexuality: What The Science Really Says | Dean Busby | #95
    Aug 26 2024
    Today Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Dr. Dean Busby, a seasoned professor from Brigham Young University, to delve into the truths and myths surrounding human sexuality. The discussion covers a wide range of topics, from gender differences and the impact of religiosity on sexual experiences to the challenges couples face across different life stages, including pregnancy and menopause. Dr. Busby offers expert advice on improving sexual relationships, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in fostering a strong, intimate connection. About: Dean M. Busby, Ph.D. is a professor in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. He received his Ph.D. in Family Therapy from Brigham Young University. Following his schooling he taught at Syracuse University and Texas Tech University, where he was the department chair, before returning to Brigham Young University. He is a published author of books, book chapters, and research articles in the area of marriage relationships, sexuality, assessment of couples, and relationship trauma. His research has garnered university and national awards and been funded by federal and state grants. Dr. Busby has taught at the university level for more than thirty years, primarily in the area of dating and marriage relationships, sexuality, and research methods. His courses are popular and well-received. Dr. Busby has been married for 40 years and he and his wife Colleen are the parents of three sons and the grandparents of 10 grandchildren. Insights: Dean - “Start talking about sexuality; in your families and in your relationships. There isn’t a semester that goes by where I don’t cry with a student about the damage that has been done to their lives because a parent has felt like, “we can’t talk about that because that means they might experiment with it.” So they have had very difficult and unnecessary experiences just because of basic levels of ignorance. You have to stat talking to your kids. Fathers in-particular have to start doing a better job. They are the worst in the whole family as to who talks the least about sexuality -and they need to be in the middle of this conversation; for so many reasons that we know from research. Start talking with your children. Help them to feel comfortable that you are a trusted place to come and have a conversation about these bodies that they have and what’s going on with them."Liz - "“The sexual debut. How important that is for the man and the woman. What this responsibility is for us as parents – to talk to our young people about the expectations of that. Ladies first, we really base our sexual experience on the woman and that is such a responsibility for men; for their patience and their turning towards a woman. And, a woman also has a responsibility to ready herself for love making. So we both have responsibilities in this wonderful cycle of life and sexuality.”Dave - "“There is hope in any relationship if people – create a safe space and open up and communicate regardless of time passed.” Dean’s Key To A Stronger Marriage Connection: “You can’t change another person, you can only invite them to be in a relationship with the better you.” If you want to move your relationship, move yourself, then your partner because they love you, they will move with you. You can’t do it by pushing them in a particular direction, it just doesn’t work. " Links: google scholar; https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=YAThg_4AAAAJ&hl=en Chelom Leavitt; https://chelomleavitt.com Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    1 hr and 9 mins
  • Parenting Tips for Fathers of Daughters | Ray Christner | #94

    Parenting Tips for Fathers of Daughters | Ray Christner | #94
    Aug 19 2024
    Today Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Ray Christner discuss the pivotal role fathers play in their daughters' lives. They explore how dads can empower their daughters, the significance of role models, and the importance of emotional intelligence. Dr. Christner shares practical examples and personal experiences, emphasizing the impact of everyday choices and the modeling of respectful behavior. parenting #girldad #fatherdaughter About RayDr. Christner received a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the California University of Pennsylvania (now Pennsylvania Western University, California), where he continued to complete a Master’s degree and certification in School Psychology. He worked as a school psychologist for several years before returning to school for further education. He earned his Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine (PCOM; now The PCOM School of Professional and Applied Psychology). Insights: Ray: Being a father is probably the most important job I've ever had, and maybe many ever will have. So just remembering our small everyday choices really do pave the way to our daughters having a refined definition of what their future looks like. So focus on those little, those little everyday choices. Liz: Creating that safety for when things don't go well. And being there before, during and after. For a child for a daughter. It's just that's just really beautiful. I think it's so crucial. Links: https://drraychristner.com https://psychedtopractice.com Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    31 mins
  • Positive Habits For A Stronger Marriage Connection | Vagdevi Meunier | #93

    Positive Habits For A Stronger Marriage Connection | Vagdevi Meunier | #93
    Aug 12 2024
    Today hosts Dave Schramm and Liz Hale discuss the intersection of positive psychology and Gottman research on marriage with Dr. Vagdevi Meunier. Dr. Meunier, a licensed psychologist and clinical assistant professor, shares insights on how couples can increase positivity in their relationships, explains the PERMA model from positive psychology, and discusses why 85% of couples report not having fun in their marriage anymore. Learn practical tips for fostering positivity, engagement, and connection in your relationship, and discover the importance of buffering your relationship from external stress. #marriageadvice #marriageandfamilytherapist #marriage #marriagecounselling About: Dr. Vagdevi Meunier (“Dr. V”) is a licensed clinical psychologist & Certified Master Gottman Therapist with over 30 years of experience in counseling, education & clinical consultation. Since 2000, she has held a Clinical Assistant Professorship at The University of Texas in Austin & previously taught as a professor at St. Edwards University for over 10 years. Dr. Meunier specializes in relationship therapy, specifically with couples & families. She has an extensive history & passion for multicultural psychology, especially eastern influences on psychological practice & cross-cultural relationship research. As a Master Gottman Couples therapist & Professional Trainer for The Gottman Institute since 2006, Dr. Vagdevi Meunier leads “The Art and Science of Love” couples workshops locally in Austin, throughout the United States, as well as, Internationally. Dr. V has presented professionally in the US, Canada & India & incorporates mindfulness, neurobiology & positive psychology into her psychoeducational lectures. Dr. V published a chapter on Positive Couple Relationships from evidence based research around the world and has written several articles on the Gottman method of couples therapy. Dr. Vagdevi Meunier is the founder & Executive Director of The Center for Relationships. She is the Advisor to all TCFR doctoral level trainees & therapist team members. Her mission behind TCFR is to promote and provide a community counseling, training & outreach center that specializes in helping relationships to flourish based on leading best practices and relationship science. The Counseling services & educational programs at TCFR include couples intensives, retreats, groups & community forums to support healthy relationships, conflict management & trust recovery. Insights: Vagdevi: "It doesn't take a lot of time to make a difference, to increase positivity in your relationship, whether you're separated from your partner or in the same room with them. You can harness technology or you can just practice that engagement and positive emotions when you're face to face. And a little bit goes a long way. And our motto in Gottman work is "small things often."Dave: Couples can manage external stress effectively by working together as a team, preventing it from affecting their relationship. Despite coming home stressed, it's crucial not to take it out on each other. Although challenging, it's possible to remain kind even when frustrated or angry, highlighting the importance of choosing kindness in maintaining a strong relationship.Liz: I love the statement, "Darling, I'm hurting. Will you help me?" That was quite beautiful instead of the attack. It's just like, and having really that good feeling between us. Right? Like, I know you love me and I love you. Trust. That's trust, I believe. Vagdevi Links: https://www.findmycenter.org/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    55 mins
  • The Savvy Wedding Budget | Jessica Bishop | #92

    The Savvy Wedding Budget | Jessica Bishop | #92
    Aug 5 2024
    Today Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm sit down with Jessica Bishop, creator of Budget Savvy Bride. Jessica shares her knowledge on planning a beautiful wedding without breaking the bank. With practical tips on everything from using silk flowers to DIY projects, Jessica explains how couples can save money while still having a memorable day. She emphasizes the importance of focusing on the marriage itself rather than just the wedding day. Listeners will gain valuable insights on budgeting, planning, and prioritizing for their special day. About: Jessica Bishop is the founder of TheBudgetSavvyBride.com, the #1 online resource to help couples all across the world plan a beautiful wedding on a budget they can actually afford. Jessica is a wedding industry veteran and wedding budget expert. Jessica has seen weddings from nearly every angle throughout her career– from her early days working at a wedding cake bakery at the age of 15 to doing catering service, wedding photography, invitation designing, and day-of coordination… to being a bride herself! She’s infused her 360-degree wedding experiences from the last 25 years to build a comprehensive wedding planning resource to help couples through the planning process with less expense *and* less stress! In 2018, Jessica squeezed all her best tips, advice, and checklists into her book, The Budget- Savvy Wedding Planner & Organizer, which has been a #1 Best Seller on Amazon many times over! Over 225,000 copies have been sold to date. Insights: Jessica: Wedding planning serves as a valuable testing ground for marriage, teaching lessons in decision-making, prioritizing, compromising, and communication, ultimately helping to build a strong relationship foundation. Enjoy the process and be intentional in your efforts.Dave: To reduce stress and avoid misunderstandings, couples should openly share their expectations and visions for their wedding from the start. Understanding each other's perspectives and maintaining constant communication about decisions and finances will help manage differences and foster compromise throughout the planning process.Liz: Dr. Bill Doherty suggests that the process of wedding planning marks the beginning of the marriage itself, serving as a significant test for the couple. Each wedding, like a marriage, is unique, reflecting the personalities and histories of the couple. It’s important to remember that minimizing time, money, and stress are key factors in making the experience memorable. Jessica Bishop Links: https://thebudgetsavvybride.com/ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bouquet-toss-a-wedding-planning-podcast/id1539773975 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/budgetsavvybride/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=%40thebudgetsavvybride The Budget Savvy Wedding Planner & Organizer Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com 
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    42 mins
  • Bonus Content On YouTube Announcement

    Bonus Content On YouTube Announcement
    Jul 1 2024

    Starting July 1, we will be releasing bonus content from previously unreleased discussions from select season two episodes.

    go to: https://www.youtube.com/@utahmarriagecommission
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    2 mins