Episodes

  • 143: How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind!

    143: How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind!
    Sep 9 2024
    I am super excited to have Todd Baratz as a guest on the podcast. Todd is a renowned psychotherapist and sex therapist whose innovative approaches to mental health and relationships have established him as a leading figure.

    We talked about:
    • His new book "How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind"
    • Reframing how we approach relationship issues
    • How to deal with breakups
    • The difference between cultural diagnoses and true toxic traits
    • What "hurt potential" is, how it can impact new relationships, and what we can do about it
    • How to craft a "relationship contract"
    • The first step we can all take today to improve our relationships
    This episode has so many great take-aways to build healthier and more fulfilling relationships. It all starts with developing more self-awareness and getting to know ourselves on the inside. In addition to his clinical practice, Baratz is a prolific writer and speaker. His insights are regularly featured in various media outlets, where he discusses topics ranging from romantic relationships to individual mental wellness.

    Website: https://www.toddsbaratz.com/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourdiagnonsense
    New Book: How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind

    For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact

    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
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    32 mins
  • 142: Can you Find Love After a 24 Year Marriage?

    142: Can you Find Love After a 24 Year Marriage?
    Aug 26 2024
    Guest: Jill Foos, National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBHWC) with a rich background in psychology and functional medicine health coaching.

    This week, we come to you with one of your favorite things to hear because it's HOPEFUL, a Smart Dating Academy real-life love story. Jill was a coaching client who found the lid to her pod and started her own business.

    Jill met her husband at a young age and they eloped to get married and had 5 kids. Jill started seeing the red flags early on, and that they were on separate pages just a few years into the marriage, but they stuck it out for 24 years and eventually got divorced.

    Jill and Bela met in 2018 when she wasn't dating yet. She knew she needed help getting back into the dating world and decided to start working with SDA. Lindsay and I helped Jill figure out what characteristics and traits she SHOULD BE looking for in a partner to make her happy -- vs. the standard "checklist" women often use!

    After setting up her dating profile on the apps, Jill really embraced the whole process and dated for about 18 months. What was her 'last first date'? A wonderful set-up date by a friend with a man named Noah. She immediately liked Noah during their first date because he made her laugh. This was during Covid, so they kept it slow and got creative with their dates.

    After about 6 months of dating, Jill moved a block away from Noah and half a year later her lease was up and she moved in with Noah. They have been in a relationship for 4 years now and are still going strong. The relationship feels easy and their blended family, which includes both of their kids, Jill's ex-husband and his new partner, gets along well and spend holidays together. And Jill started a new career as well, as one can when they have happy love! She is now a dedicated National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBHWC) and the founder of Jill Foos Wellness. She's helping women and look better at all ages, but especially during midlife.

    I hope that you are inspired by Jill's story. She felt like her life was shattered, but she built it back up step by step and is now in a better place than ever.


    For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact

    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • 141: How to Have Better Relationships, Everywhere!

    141: How to Have Better Relationships, Everywhere!
    Aug 12 2024
    This week on the podcast, I have the absolute pleasure to interview Elizabeth Earnshaw, a renowned Gottman therapist and bestselling author (she has a new book coming out in September!) who is the owner of a thriving family and marriage therapy practice. She is known for her popular Instagram account @lizlistens and has been featured in the New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post, and more.

    Elizabeth and I delve into various crucial topics concerning relationships and stress management.

    We talk about:
    • What a healthy relationships is and what kind of stressors are faced by couples and singles
    • How to recognize and address stress in relationships, both external (work, family) and internal (relationship dynamics)
    • What "stress spillover" is in a relationship
    • The significance of emotional regulation in conflict resolution and the importance of taking pauses during heated moments
    • The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse in relationships
    • Recommended strategies like to de-escalate conflicts and regain composure before addressing issues
    • The importance of early stress recognition to prevent conflicts from escalating
    • The need for self-awareness in maintaining healthy communication

    Elizabeth shares such valuable insights and this is a must listen if you want to focus on managing stress and fostering healthy communication in relationships.

    Website: elizabethearnshaw.com
    The Balancing Act | Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT | Substack


    For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact

    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
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    48 mins
  • 140: People Pleasing and HOW to Say NO the Right Way!

    140: People Pleasing and HOW to Say NO the Right Way!
    Jul 29 2024

    This week, I welcome Natalie Lue to the Smart Dating Academy podcast. She is a boundaries and relationship coach and the creator of one of the longest running self-help blogs in the world, BaggageReclaim.com. Natalie helps people understand how their emotional baggage is interfering with their ability to live their lives happily and authentically.


    We talk about:
    • The impact emotional baggage has on relationships
    • The connection between emotional availability and people-pleasing behavior
    • The significance of boundaries in personal growth and relationship dynamics
    • Learning to say no and setting healthy boundaries
    • Recognizing and addressing emotional baggage to avoid repeating negative patterns in relationships
    • Prioritizing self-respect, self-acceptance, and making decisions that align with one's true self to foster healthy and fulfilling relationships


    This episode is a must listen if you would like to establish healthy boundaries and cultivate meaningful and genuine connections in romantic relationships AND personal relationships.Blog: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk
    Website: www.natalielue.com

    For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact

    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • 139: How to Become “UNREJECTABLE!”

    139: How to Become “UNREJECTABLE!”
    Jul 15 2024
    This week, I'm so excited to introduce my friend and former client, Stacy Katz to the podcast. Stacy is a sought after mindset coach who helps women create more Relaxation and Power with her R.E.L.A.X Mindset Method. Her approach is rooted in real-world experience, making it both
    relatable and actionable. She has over two decades of experience in mindset and peak performance. She has guided C-level executives and leadership teams inside some of the biggest global brands like HP, Verizon, Spotify and more.

    In this episode Stacy and I explore how you are going to get more relaxed and more powerful in dating and in your entire life.

    We talk about:
    • The concept of limiting beliefs and how they affect our results in and out of the dating world
    • How we can transform limiting beliefs and non-useful thinking
    • What it means to “listen for the gold” on a date and how it can create deeper connections and make others feel safe and supported in relationships.
    • How Stacy became to focus on being Relaxed and Powerful
    • How someone should begin the practice of developing compassionate self-forgiveness, especially if they’ve had tough dating experiences
    • How focusing on internal alignment and being psychotically optimistic can positively impact dating and overall life experiences
    Stacy is offering a special gift to the listeners of The Smart Dating Academy podcast:
    An Energy Audit to help you understand how different aspects of your daily life and routine either contribute to or deplete your energy levels. This is a key first step in creating your Relaxed and Powerful Life. Go to www.stacykatz.com to get your gift!


    For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact

    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
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    38 mins
  • 138: How to Identify & Heal Your Origin Wounds (we all have them)

    138: How to Identify & Heal Your Origin Wounds (we all have them)
    Jul 1 2024
    I had the absolute pleasure to have a conversation with the amazing Vienna Pharaon about how breaking family patterns can liberate the way we live and love.
    Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City’s most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She has been
    featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. Her book "The Origins of You" is a National Bestseller.

    We talk about:
    • Why we adopt and adapt to family's beliefs and behaviors
    • The difference between belonging and fitting in
    • How origin wounds, such as prioritization and belonging wounds, can impact relationships and the ability to trust others
    • How we can heal from these origin wounds and break free from unwanted patterns
    • Why tolerating discomfort and taking risks are necessary for change and empowerment.
    You will learn so much from Vienna about the impact of attachment, authenticity, and family dynamics on relationships and how origin wounds can shape our behaviors and choices in relationships. This is a must listen if you want to heal and break free from unhealthy patterns and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

    Website: https://viennapharaon.com
    Instagram: @mindfulmft
    What is Your Origin Wound? Quiz: https://1wsm6geg69z.typeform.com/to/d981R7Cl

    For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact

    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
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    51 mins
  • 137: How to Create Boundaries in Dating

    137: How to Create Boundaries in Dating
    Jun 17 2024
    Bela has a wonderful conversation with Relationship Maven Dr. Abby Medcalf. She is a psychologist, author, podcast host and TEDx speaker who has helped thousands of people think differently so they can create connection, ease and joy in their relationships (especially the one with yourself)!


    With over 35 years of experience, Abby is a recognized authority and sought-after speaker at organizations such as Google, Apple, AT&T, Kaiser, PG&E, American Airlines and Chevron and she’s been a featured expert on CBS and ABC news, and has been a contributor to the New York Times, Women’s Health, Psychology Today, Well+Good and Bustle.


    They talk about:
    • The number one problem in relationships (and it's not what you think!)
    • The importance of identifying and clarifying your own needs and standards in a relationship
    • What trust in a relationship is built on
    • What boundaries should be based on how to communicate them EFFECTIVELY
    • Collaborative questions can deepen understanding and connection in conversations
    • Giving others the benefit of the doubt and seeking clarification before making assumptions

    This is a must listen if you want to gain invaluable insights and guidance to improve your relationship and create more fulfilling connections with your partner. Dr. Abby is truly a gem!


    Website: https://abbymedcalf.com
    Newly Released Book: Boundaries Made Easy; Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy


    For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact

    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
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    56 mins
  • 136: Spotting a Toxic Relationship

    136: Spotting a Toxic Relationship
    Jun 3 2024
    This week we welcome Dr. Heidi Brocke to the podcast and you will LOVE the gems that she will drop on us! Dr. Heidi Brocke is a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist. After spending 14 years in an extremely emotionally and narcissistically abusive relationship she broke the chains and turned her past into her passion. She’s an international keynote speaker, recipient of Empowering Women in Business of The Year award by Inspiring Lives Magazine, and has been featured in both Forbes and Time Magazines for the dedication given to her clients and for her work in the toxic relationship area.

    We talked about:
    • Spotting a Toxic Relationship (and wait til you hear her 'unconventional' checklist)
    • Trusting Your Gut (your internal alarm system!)
    • Understanding Emotional Abuse (it can be very sneaky)
    • Taking the Time to Heal
    • What to Do When Children are Involved
    • Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing YOU
    • Reaching Out for Support
    Dr. Heidi wonderfully highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing toxic relationships. This is a must listen! Trust your instincts, take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’ve got this!


    Website: www.coachingwithdrheidi.com


    For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact

    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
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    54 mins