Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick
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Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick
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Narrated by:
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Elizabeth Evans
About this listen
New York Times best-selling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest - and arguably greatest - sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe series.
In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the 23-year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness.
On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door, and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job.
The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements, and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos.
“Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland” (Kirkus Reviews).
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1 out of 5 stars
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Totally Spoiled Storyline
- By Linda Luella on 01-03-20
By: Michael Todd, and others
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The Queen's Road
- By: R. S. Belcher
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 522
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 457
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Story4 out of 5 stars 455
Ramon “Ray” Cosa’s life is not what he expected it to be. Living in a small Texas town ravaged by Hurricane Harvey, Ray has suffered many losses in his young life, and he has little hope left that anything will ever change or get better. That is, until the vintage Ford Galaxie and its strange, dying owner enters Ray’s life. Given a jeweled ring he cannot remove and a desperate mission, Ray is plunged into a universe of secrets, wonders, and terrors he never dreamed exists. Now, he travels the Queen's Road - a hyper-space highway that connects all the planets in creation.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hopefully the start of a new series.
- By Alex Sumner on 01-26-20
By: R. S. Belcher
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Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,478
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,506
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,479
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
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Sol Arbiter
- Sol Arbiter, Book 1
- By: Jia Shen, J. N. Chaney
- Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 846
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 779
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 777
Tower 7 has gone completely dark, and security androids are killing civilians. No one knows what has become of the tower's 520,000 residents or who is responsible for the mysterious assault, but the priority of the mission is clear. Tycho and Gabriel must breach the tower, investigate the missing civilians, and locate the one responsible…all while trying to stay alive.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I just couldn't take it any longer...
- By banebadboo on 09-06-20
By: Jia Shen, and others
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We Are All Completely Fine
- By: Daryl Gregory
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 202
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 184
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Story4 out of 5 stars 183
Harrison is the Monster Detective, a storybook hero. Now he’s in his mid-30s and spends most of his time not sleeping. Stan became a minor celebrity after being partially eaten by cannibals. Barbara is haunted by the messages carved upon her bones. Greta may or may not be a mass-murdering arsonist. And for some reason, Martin never takes off his sunglasses.
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4 out of 5 stars
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original and unique
- By Midwestbonsai on 03-22-15
By: Daryl Gregory
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Immoral
- By: Brian Freeman
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 13 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,392
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,889
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,868
In a riveting debut thriller that has drawn comparisons to masters of the genre like Dennis Lehane and Michael Connelly, Brian Freeman weaves obsession, sex, and revenge into a story that grips the reader with vivid characters and shocking plot twists from the first minute to the last.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Intrigue in Minnesota.
- By Byron on 08-25-13
By: Brian Freeman
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Radicals
- By: Nik Korpon
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Isabel Keating
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 307
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 271
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Story4 out of 5 stars 271
Jay Brodsky is an enigma. To his fellow agents at the FBI’s cybercrimes division. To his new partner. Even to himself. For someone whose skills are beyond question, he often seems just on the edge of losing control. He seldom speaks about his family and his personal life, but he seems to be hiding something. And he has an unusual obsession with even the most obscure punk rock. So when a mysterious cyber-terrorist organization begins erasing Americans’ medical debt, Jay must put his personal issues aside to focus on an attack that threatens to destabilize the US economy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Punk rock, anarchy, hacking and an FBI investigat
- By col2910 on 11-24-20
By: Nik Korpon
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No Quarter
- A Supernatural Action Adventure Opera
- By: Michael Todd, Michael Anderle, Laurie Starky
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story5 out of 5 stars 26
The rules have changed. Now the Damned can go on vacation and even hook up. Without Pandora near him, can Calvin get a little action in Cabo? Unfortunately, the general has a different demand for Katie, and it’s coming from the whole industry. Requested in New York to work with the NYPD, Katie is working a side job or two. Her mercenary skills are useful, and profitable, for other types of hard jobs. And this time, the Damned can help a child. There will be hell to pay when Katie and Pandora come calling, with no quarter for the demons.
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5 out of 5 stars
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No Quarter
- By Joe Mellia on 06-21-24
By: Michael Todd, and others
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 85
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 78
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 78
An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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88 Names
- A Novel
- By: Matt Ruff
- Narrated by: Ewan Chung
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 94
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 83
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 80
John Chu is a “sherpa” - a paid guide to online role-playing games. For a fee, he and his crew will provide you with a top-flight character equipped with the best weapons and armor. Chu’s new client, "Mr. Jones", claims to be a “wealthy, famous person” with powerful enemies, and he’s offering a ridiculous amount of money for a comprehensive tour. For Chu, this is a dream assignment, but then he begins to suspect that Mr. Jones is really North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. But Chu also has to worry about “Ms. Pang”, and his angry ex-girlfriend, Darla Jean Covington....
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3 out of 5 stars
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I love this author... didn’t love this book.
- By Anonymous User on 03-30-20
By: Matt Ruff
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Point B
- A Teleportation Love Story
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Rebecca Soler
- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 148
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 126
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 126
When the corporate monolith PortSys brought porting to the masses, CEO Emilia Kirsch and her son, Jason, accomplished what every other start-up company had failed to deliver. They really did change the world. They reversed climate change. They created a multitrillion-dollar industry out of thin air, curing economic woes across the globe. They made it so that anyone could be anywhere simply by touching a screen...including the man who murdered Sarah Huff. Now, Sarah’s 17-year-old sister, Anna, is determined to hunt the bastard down. But there are a few problems.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Sherry Potter’s only got one spell: portkey
- By aaron gilbert on 11-02-20
By: Drew Magary
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The Postmortal
- A Novel
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 686
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 609
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 612
In a world where an anti-aging cure is available worldwide, immortality comes with its own unique problems. John Farrell is about to get "The Cure". Old age can never kill him now. The only problem is, everything else still can.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Interesting concept but bleak and wearing
- By Amazon Customer on 05-15-12
By: Drew Magary
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5 out of 5 stars
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5 out of 5 stars
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3 out of 5 stars
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
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Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night-shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all. That is, until his best friend reveals the body of a local politician hidden in the trunk of a car, setting off a chain of events with apocalyptic potential. Soon, Jack finds himself entangled in a supernatural conspiracy involving monster hunters, sociopaths, doomsday cultists, and...garden gnomes?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Mr. CreepyPasta Narration is better
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