Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People
How to Learn from Your Troublesome Buddhas
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Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People
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Narrated by:
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Stephen Perring
About this listen
This is a guide to applying the teachings of mindfulness and Zen to the troublesome or challenging people in our lives. Perhaps you can see there’s often a pattern to your behavior in relation to them and that it often causes pain – perhaps a great deal of pain. The only way we can grow is by facing this pain, acknowledging how we feel and how we’ve reacted, and making an intention or commitment to end this repeating pattern of suffering.
In this book, Mark Westmoquette speaks from a place of profound personal experience. A Zen monk, he has endured two life-changing traumas caused by other people: his sexual abuse by his own father, and his stepfather’s death and mother’s very serious injury in a car crash due to the careless driving of an off-duty policeman. He stresses that by bringing awareness and kindness to these relationships, our initial stance of “I can’t stand this person, they need to change” will naturally shift into something much broader and more inclusive. The book makes playful use of Zen koans – apparently nonsensical phrases or stories – to help jar us out of habitual ways of perceiving the world and nudge us toward a new perspective of wisdom and compassion.
©2021 Mark Westmoquette (P)2021 WatkinsListeners also enjoyed...
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5 out of 5 stars
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You Are Not Your Emotions
- By Sara on 10-23-14
By: Phillip Moffitt
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If the Buddha Got Stuck
- A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path
- By: Charlotte Kasl
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 57
Charlotte Kasl's perennial favorites If the Buddha Dated and If the Buddha Married have inspired readers with their empowering blend of spiritual and psychological insights. Her third "If the Buddha" book, If the Buddha Got Stuck, is a wise yet lighthearted book that will speak to anyone who's ever experienced being stuck in life and wanted to break free.
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4 out of 5 stars
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i like the author's blend of spirituality
- By dayle on 01-09-12
By: Charlotte Kasl
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If the Buddha Married
- Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path
- By: Charlotte Kasl
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
If the Buddha Married is filled with the same highly practical, spiritually sound guidance that so clearly touched a chord with fans of If the Buddha Dated. Charlotte Kasl is renowned for her ability to speak with depth, wisdom, and humor on important matters of the heart. In If the Buddha Married, Kasl inspires us to create fulfilling and vibrant relationships through a commitment to awareness and truth.
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3 out of 5 stars
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It's not about "PERFORMANCE".
- By chuck on 03-19-12
By: Charlotte Kasl
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Mindfulness in Action
- Making Friends with Yourself through Meditation and Everyday Awareness
- By: Chögyam Trungpa
- Narrated by: Roger Clark
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 238
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 205
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Story5 out of 5 stars 202
The rewards of mindfulness practice are well proven: reduced stress, improved concentration, and an overall sense of well-being. But those benefits are just the beginning. Mindfulness in action - mindfulness applied throughout life - can help us work more effectively with life's challenges, expanding our appreciation and potential for creative engagement.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Brilliant Narration, Sound Advice
- By Susie on 09-29-15
By: Chögyam Trungpa
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Real Happiness at Work
- Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement, and Peace
- By: Sharon Salzberg
- Narrated by: Sharon Salzberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 101
How would you like to be calmer, less distracted, more productive, and more content at your job? You might think it would take more hours in the day, a better boss, more support, less interference, a shorter commute - and the list goes on. Most of the things we think would help are either not in our control or simply not realistic. But there is one thing we can do to achieve the qualities we seek, and it can be done invisibly and often: meditation.
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5 out of 5 stars
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inspirational and totally useful
- By C. L. Campion on 10-21-15
By: Sharon Salzberg
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Emotional Rescue
- How to Work with Your Emotions to Transform Hurt and Confusion into Energy That Empowers You
- By: Dzogchen Ponlop
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 39
In this book, renowned Buddhist teacher Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche leads us through the three steps of his Emotional Rescue Plan. First, Mindful Gap is the practice of creating a safe distance between you and your emotions, which gives you the psychological space to work with their energy. Clear Seeing involves recognizing the bigger picture. Finally, Letting Go is the practice of releasing stressful physical and emotional energy through physical exercise, relaxation, and awareness.
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5 out of 5 stars
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fresher than a new radiohead lp
- By Bob Sawey on 10-11-16
By: Dzogchen Ponlop
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Awakening Joy
- 10 Steps That Will Put You on the Road to Real Happiness
- By: James Baraz, Shoshana Alexander
- Narrated by: James Baraz, Shoshana Alexander
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 166
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 126
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 127
Joy is not for just the lucky few - it's a choice anyone can make. In this groundbreaking book, based on his popular course, James Baraz helps you discover a path to the happiness that's right in front of you, offering a step-by-step program that will reorient your mind away from dissatisfaction and distraction and toward the contentment and delight that is abundantly available in our everyday lives. You can decide to be happy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I listen to Awakening Joy over and over
- By Love Coach, Annette Carpien, PCC on 04-14-16
By: James Baraz, and others
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Already Free
- Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation
- By: Bruce Tift MA
- Narrated by: Bruce Tift MA
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 427
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 356
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Story5 out of 5 stars 353
Freedom from unnecessary suffering is the goal of both Buddhism and modern psychotherapy, yet each approaches this intention from a very different perspective. "Buddhist practice helps us awaken to a well-being that is independent of our circumstances," explains Bruce Tift, "while Western psychotherapy helps us bring our disowned experience into awareness in order to live in a more skillful and satisfying way."
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5 out of 5 stars
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Extraordinary
- By Matt on 11-15-16
By: Bruce Tift MA
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Meditations on Intention and Being
- Daily Reflections on the Path of Yoga, Mindfulness, and Compassion
- By: Rolf Gates
- Narrated by: Kevin Kenerly
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
Presented in the form of 365 inspirational daily reflections, Gates helps listeners - from experienced yogis to novices seeking a little tranquility - to fundamentally reconsider their relationships with their minds, their bodies, and the universe around them through self-reflection.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved This Book
- By Brittney on 11-24-16
By: Rolf Gates
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A Fearless Heart
- How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives
- By: Thupten Jinpa Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sanjiv Jhaveri
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 211
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 173
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 172
The Buddhist practice of mindfulness caught on in the west when we began to understand the everyday, personal benefits it brought us. Now, in this extraordinary audiobook, the highly acclaimed thought leader and longtime English translator of His Holiness the Dalai Lama shows us that compassion can bring us even more.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Better to read ... unfortunate grating narration
- By lesley ann on 04-12-17
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Parenting with Presence
- Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Polly Stone
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 151
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 121
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 120
Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons - refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests - can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment.
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5 out of 5 stars
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fantastic
- By Sarah Prentice on 06-26-16
By: Susan Stiffelman
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The Buddha Walks into the Office
- A Guide to Livelihood for a New Generation
- By: Lodro Rinzler
- Narrated by: Lodro Rinzler
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 75
The question "What do I want to do with my life?" is more difficult to answer for today's 20-somethings than it was for their parents - not only do today's jobs look different, but career paths are altogether less of a sure thing. It's in this modern context that Lodro Rinzler provides Generation Y with wisdom for approaching the whole issue of livelihood - not only how to find work, but how to bring compassion and meaning into the job once you’ve got it. It’s wisdom from the Buddhist tradition that works for anyone.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not just applicable to work
- By Peter Burgos on 01-23-15
By: Lodro Rinzler
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The Dharma of the Princess Bride
- What the Coolest Fairy Tale of Our Time Can Teach Us About Buddhism and Relationships
- By: Ethan Nichtern
- Narrated by: Ethan Nichtern
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 61
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 61
Humorous yet spiritually rigorous, drawing from pop culture and from personal experience, The Dharma of "The Princess Bride" teaches us how to understand and navigate our most important personal relationships from a 21st-century Buddhist perspective. Friendship. Romance. Family. These are the three areas Ethan Nichtern delves into, taking as departure points the indelible characters - Westley, Fezzik, Vizzini, Count Rugen, Princess Buttercup, and others from Rob Reiner's perennially popular film.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A fun and refreshing take on Buddhism
- By Oak Grove on 12-06-17
By: Ethan Nichtern
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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The Road Home
- A Contemporary Exploration of the Buddhist Path
- By: Ethan Nichtern
- Narrated by: Ethan Nichtern
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 133
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 112
Do you feel at home right now? Or do you sense a hovering anxiety or uncertainty, an underlying unease that makes you feel just a bit uncomfortable, a bit distracted and disconnected from those around you? In The Road Home, Ethan Nichtern, a senior teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist tradition, investigates the journey each of us takes to find where we belong.
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5 out of 5 stars
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How can you pass this up?
- By Amy Minutillo on 04-08-16
By: Ethan Nichtern
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The Wise Heart
- A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology
- By: Jack Kornfield
- Narrated by: Jack Kornfield
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,007
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 829
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Story5 out of 5 stars 824
You have within you an unlimited capacity for extraordinary love, for joy, for communion with life, and for unshakable freedom - and here is how to awaken it. In The Wise Heart, celebrated author and psychologist Jack Kornfield offers an accessible, comprehensive, and illuminating guide to the universal teachings of Buddhist psychology. He shows you how to use powerful Buddhist insights and practices to go beyond the trap of "self-improvement".
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome!
- By Nik LaCroix on 05-01-15
By: Jack Kornfield
What listeners say about Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- alcyone7p
- 04-09-22
A must read for everyone
We all have troublesome Buddhas in our lives. Everyone can take something away from reading Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People. Mark draws from both personal experience and the stories of others in describing how we may also be able to improve how we react and deal with difficult people. I find I am pausing and looking at the difficult people in my life in a more mindful, compassionate way since listening to this audiobook. As Mark states, our troublesome Buddhas should be looked on as our teachers. They can help us look at ourselves differently as we become more mindful of those who have “pushed our buttons” in possibly just minor or more harmful ways.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mary Carlson
- 01-17-24
Realistic Situations
This author's honesty and the offered solutions that are truly most helpful to to us are what stood out.
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