You Don't Have to Carry It All
Ditch the Mom Guilt and Find a Better Way Forward
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You Don't Have to Carry It All
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Narrated by:
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Paula Faris
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By:
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Paula Faris
About this listen
Award-winning journalist and mom-of-three Paula Faris gives insightful and practical steps for better working, momming, and living to millions of overwhelmed working moms.
Being a working mom should work. Instead, it is a thankless, incredibly difficult job, marked by impossible contradictions and unreachable expectations.
American moms are more burned out now than at any other time in history. We believed we could have it all— fulfilling work, and a healthy and happy family. We pick up responsibilities wherever we go— on the job, at home, in our communities. We try to carry it all—and we can. Because moms are superheroes with superpowers! But at some point, our shoulders grow tired tired from carrying around the expectations and the mental load, tired from juggling the constant conflict between working and momming, tired of how our work— whether at home or at the office—isn’t valued equally, and tired of workplaces that treat us like risks instead of assets.
Paula Faris offers a declaration of hope to all working moms— things are going to get better! There is another way forward that frees us from the barbaric conflict of mom-guilt and the bone-weary exhaustion of carrying it all and feeling like we’re failing everywhere. Through the lens of her personal experience and interviews with working women, men, leaders, and experts across the country, Faris dismantles the cultural expectations and toxic traps that American moms experience. She also gathers insightful and actionable steps toward a better way of working, momming, and living. The problems we have as a country and culture are not insurmountable. Besides, we’ve got working moms on this job. And there are literally no hands more capable than ours!
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Paula Faris (P)2023 Worthy BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 35
Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober are professionals, wives, and mothers. They understand the challenges and rewards of two-career households. They also know that families thrive not in spite of working mothers but because of them. You can have a great career, a great marriage, and be a great mother. The key is tapping into your best resource and most powerful ally - the man you married.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great overall, but a bit offensive...
- By Tristan Matthews on 01-09-15
By: Sharon Meers, and others
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The Feminine Mistake
- By: Leslie Bennetts
- Narrated by: Leslie Bennetts
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
Women are constantly being told that it's simply too difficult to balance work and family, so if they don't really "have to" work, it's better for their families if they stay home. Not only is this untrue, Leslie Bennetts says, but the arguments in favor of stay-at-home motherhood fail to consider the surprising benefits of work and the unexpected toll of giving it up. It's time, she says, to get the message across: combining work and family really is the best choice for most women.
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1 out of 5 stars
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couldn't get into it.
- By diana prince on 09-21-15
By: Leslie Bennetts
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Overwhelmed
- Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time
- By: Brigid Schulte
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 378
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 328
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Story4 out of 5 stars 324
According to the Leisure Studies Department at the University of Iowa, true leisure is “that place in which we realize our humanity.” If that’s true, argues Brigid Schulte, then we're doing dangerously little realizing of our humanity. In Overwhelmed, Schulte, a staff writer for The Washington Post, asks: Are our brains, our partners, our culture, and our bosses making it impossible for us to experience anything but “contaminated time”?
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3 out of 5 stars
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Depressing, Dreary Listening Experience
- By Deb A on 04-19-15
By: Brigid Schulte
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All the Rage
- Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
- By: Darcy Lockman
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 156
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 140
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 137
The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must read for men
- By Brooks Rainey Pearson on 06-12-19
By: Darcy Lockman
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Fair Play
- A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)
- By: Eve Rodsky
- Narrated by: Eve Rodsky
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 939
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 754
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Story4 out of 5 stars 747
Fair Play is a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up chores and responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than 500 men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.
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3 out of 5 stars
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For Coupled People
- By Brandy Patrick on 10-02-19
By: Eve Rodsky
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One and Only
- The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
- By: Lauren Sandler
- Narrated by: Lauren Sandler
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 57
Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Data Driven
- By Meghan B on 01-11-22
By: Lauren Sandler
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The Wife Drought
- By: Annabel Crabb
- Narrated by: Annabel Crabb
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 33
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
'I need a wife'. It's a common joke among women juggling work and family, but it's no joke. Having a spouse who takes care of things at home is a godsend on the domestic front and an asset on the work front and is an advantage enjoyed by vastly more men than women. Full of candid and funny stories from politics and the media, The Wife Drought shares intriguing research about the attitudes pulsing beneath the surface of egalitarian Australia.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A read for everyone
- By RubyH on 02-01-24
By: Annabel Crabb
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The End of Men
- And the Rise of Women
- By: Hanna Rosin
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 161
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 135
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Story4 out of 5 stars 132
Men have been the dominant sex since - well, the dawn of mankind. And yet, as journalist Hanna Rosin discovered, that long-held truth is no longer true. At this unprecedented moment, women are no longer merely gaining on men; they have pulled decisively ahead by almost every measure. Already "the end of men" - the phrase Rosin coined - has entered the lexicon as indelibly as Simone de Beauvoir’s "second sex", Betty Friedan’s "feminine mystique", Susan Faludi’s "backlash", and Naomi Wolf’s "beauty myth" have.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book, don't care for the reader's style
- By Darren on 12-05-12
By: Hanna Rosin
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Social Justice Parenting
- How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids in an Unjust World
- By: Traci Baxley
- Narrated by: Traci Baxley
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 23
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 24
As a global pandemic shuttered schools across the country in 2020, parents found themselves thrust into the role of teacher — in more ways than one. Not only did they take on remote school supervision, but after the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, many also grappled with the responsibility to teach their kids about social justice — with few resources to guide them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Inspiring, motivating, practical
- By Heather Janetzko on 03-18-24
By: Traci Baxley
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Here's the Plan.
- Your Practical, Tactical Guide to Advancing Your Career During Pregnancy and Parenting
- By: Allyson Downey
- Narrated by: Danielle Fornes Quinlan, Allyson Downey
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 24
For many women in their 20s and 30s, the greatest professional hurdle they'll need to overcome has little to do with their work life. The most focused, confident, and ambitious women can find themselves derailed by a tiny little thing: a new baby. While more workplaces are espousing family-friendly cultures, women are still subject to a "parenting penalty", and high-profile conflicts between parenting and the workplace are all over the news, from the controversy over companies covering the costs of egg freezing to the debate over parental leave and child care inspired by Mark Zuckerberg's two-month paternity leave.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great insight
- By Jen on 08-08-18
By: Allyson Downey
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Stopping Stress Before It Stops You
- A Game Plan for Every Mom
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Lucille Cole
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 33
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
You can reduce stress and enjoy your life! Homemaker, career woman, wife, supermom—sometimes the roles you have to fill all at once can get to be too much. Internationally known psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman has seen scores of women who are overcome by stress. With humor, insight, and practical solutions, this best-selling author helps you manage the six stress points in your life: kids, career, husband, housework, money, and crammed schedules.
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1 out of 5 stars
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He assumes you're married to an idiot!
- By Karen on 06-04-11
By: Kevin Leman
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The Secrets of Happy Families
- Surprising New Ideas to Bring More Togetherness, Less Chaos, and Greater Joy
- By: Bruce Feiler
- Narrated by: Bruce Feiler
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 459
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 387
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 388
Best-selling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family "experts", he sought out the most creative minds - from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets - and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Well worth reading, even if you can't do it all!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-13
By: Bruce Feiler
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Work, Love, Pray
- Practical Wisdom for Young Professional Christian Women
- By: Diane Paddison
- Narrated by: Ruth Bloomquist
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
The number of Christian women in today's professional workforce is increasing, and they are hungry for practical mentoring. They yearn to learn from someone who has climbed the ladder of success without sacrificing family or faith - something author Diane Paddison has done with excellence and grace. The stories Paddison shares about her corporate, personal, and spiritual life, as well as the lives of other women like her, are both inspiring and instructive, providing on-target advice and concrete examples of how to succeed without feeling overwhelmed or compromised.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Starts off with a big ego but gets better later
- By Diane on 12-11-11
By: Diane Paddison
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Winging It: Stop Thinking, Start Doing
- Why Action Beats Planning Every Time
- By: Emma Isaacs
- Narrated by: Emma Isaacs
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 66
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
Women are notorious over-preparers and underestimators when it comes to their own readiness to try something new. But as Emma teaches, what most often holds us back are our own fears, excuses, and doubts. With her revolutionary manifesto, Winging It, Emma shares a rallying cry for all women to “do the things that scare you, build your wealth, make an impact, fail lots, and get up and try again”.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good advice
- By Amanda Schmidt on 05-28-21
By: Emma Isaacs
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168 Hours
- You Have More Time Than You Think
- By: Laura Vanderkam
- Narrated by: Elizabeth London
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 860
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 687
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Story4 out of 5 stars 682
There are 168 hours in a week. This book is about where the time really goes, and how we can all use it better. It's an unquestioned truth of modern life: we are starved for time. With the rise of two-income families, extreme jobs, and 24/7 connectivity, life is so frenzied we can barely find time to breathe. We tell ourselves we'd like to read more, get to the gym regularly, try new hobbies, and accomplish all kinds of goals.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I really wanted to like this book
- By Tiffany on 11-04-10
By: Laura Vanderkam
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It Was All a Dream
- A New Generation Confronts the Broken Promise to Black America
- By: Reniqua Allen
- Narrated by: Shayna Small
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Reniqua Allen tells the stories of Black millennials searching for a better future in spite of racist policies that have closed off traditional versions of success. Many watched their parents and grandparents play by the rules, only to sink deeper and deeper into debt. They witnessed their elders fight to escape cycles of oppression for more promising prospects, largely to no avail. Today, in this post-Obama era, they face a critical turning point. Interweaving her own experience, Allen shares surprising stories of hope and ingenuity.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Great statistics and facts
- By Eve on 05-18-19
By: Reniqua Allen
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Slay Like a Mother
- How to Destroy What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want
- By: Katherine Wintsch
- Narrated by: Katherine Wintsch
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 170
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 148
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 149
In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
What listeners say about You Don't Have to Carry It All
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Laurie Stoeckert
- 03-23-23
For Moms Everywhere!
My kids are adults now. How I wished I would have had such insight, wisdom and permission to give to myself.
For my daughter and daughter in love, yours is the bigger, louder, stronger and more respected voice in the room. I believe in you!
I have read this book and shared with my husband many chapters, this book is for them as well.
Paula, another beautiful, brilliant and motivating collection of real life stories, short comings and best of all, acceptance of who we really are, imperfect human beings and it is okay!
I love, love, love this book!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- frenchprincess28
- 03-09-23
Incredible & a must-read!!
Paula captures exactly what I’ve been thinking & feeling for years as a working mother. Thank you, Paula, for putting this mental load into words & for helping provide one more tool in my belt to help me “carry it all!”
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Samantha
- 03-22-23
Wasn’t what I thought it was
I really thought this would give advice for being a working mom but it was just a bunch of facts that suited her thoughts. Was not well organized.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 06-13-23
Bias and very specific
Too specific for her life and not applicable to all. Bias and a clear stance on how she views the world and allows very little perspective inside.
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