You Are Not Your Mother
Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame
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You Are Not Your Mother
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Narrated by:
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Alex Picard
About this listen
What is your relationship to shame? How can you overcome it and live an intentional life of vulnerability? You Are Not Your Mother guides listeners on how to see shame, and live separately from it.
Explore your personal roots to shame with an expert. As a top authority on recovering from growing up in toxic families, Karen C. L. Anderson walks you through her shame story, her relationship with her narcissistic mother, and the simple practices she has developed to alleviate guilt from unhealthy relationships. Author of bestselling Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters with over 150,000 copies sold, Karen offers tools to process, understand, and move beyond childhood trauma so you can not only survive, but thrive.
You'll find: Karen's story on dealing with a narcissistic mother and how she overcame her shame; journal prompts, mind-body practices, and simple exercises to release shame and toxic habits; and a guide on how to finally identify shame, and how to embrace living free from it.
If you enjoy therapy books and content on emotion management, then this book is for you! If you liked I'm Glad My Mom Died, Mother Hunger, or Uprooting Shame And Guilt, you'll love You Are Not Your Mother.
©2023 Karen C. L. Anderson (P)2023 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
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Can't Forgive
- My 20-Year Battle with O.J. Simpson
- By: Kim Goldman
- Narrated by: Kim Goldman
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 104
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 93
When Kim Goldman was just 22, her older brother, Ron, was brutally killed by O. J. Simpson. Ron and Kim were very close, and her devastation was compounded by the shocking not guilty verdict that allowed a smirking Simpson to leave as a free man.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Selfish
- By B. A. C. on 04-08-16
By: Kim Goldman
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Us
- Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 737
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 638
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 633
At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I preferred Fierce Intimacy
- By Jose on 06-23-22
By: Terrence Real
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Autism in Heels
- The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
- By: Jennifer Cook O'Toole
- Narrated by: Jennifer O'Toole
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 391
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 345
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 345
This intimate memoir reveals the woman inside one of autism’s most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of 35, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, she exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but - more importantly - as a thoroughly modern woman.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Somewhat relatable but not really.
- By M Bond on 02-26-23
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The Rise
- An Unforgettable Journey of Self-Love, Forgiveness, and Transformation
- By: Danette May
- Narrated by: Danette May
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 230
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 202
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 198
After the tragic loss of her son and a marriage that ended in divorce and near-bankruptcy, world-renowned health and transformation expert Danette May found her life in shambles. But when her support seemed to come from few and her options seemed the most far between, she began to hear a voice inside her telling her it was time. May never predicted that her journey would take her into a world bikini competition, to a sacred healer in Costa Rica, or through a process of heart-wrenching forgiveness. Yet it was her soul's calling that led her there.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Vulnerable
- By Priscilla Lopez on 10-29-18
By: Danette May
-
Jump...and Your Life Will Appear
- An Inch-by-Inch Guide to Making a Major Change
- By: Nancy Levin
- Narrated by: Nancy Levin
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 39
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Are you ready to make changes in your life - but feel something is holding you back? Is your soul asking you to take a leap - but you’re too afraid to take it? Are you ready for something new - but aren’t sure where to start? If this sounds like you, this audiobook will give you the courage and faith you need to jump across the threshold from where you are - to where you want to be. Jump...and Your Life Will Appear is a step-by-step guide to clearing the path ahead so you can let go and make the change you need the most.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Inspiring and motivating!
- By Debra Goro on 08-06-18
By: Nancy Levin
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Peace from Broken Pieces
- How to Get Through What You're Going Through
- By: Iyanla Vanzant
- Narrated by: Iyanla Vanzant
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,127
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,871
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1,877
New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learned—from the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughter's 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Iyanla is Inspirational! A GREAT LISTEN!!!
- By Theresa on 12-04-11
By: Iyanla Vanzant
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Unspeakable
- Surviving My Childhood and Finding My Voice
- By: Jessica Willis Fisher
- Narrated by: Jessica Fisher
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 806
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 747
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 747
Using the written word as her witness statement, Jessica Willis Fisher tells a lacerating story of finding her voice after two decades of silence and an unforgettable story of risk and faith.
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5 out of 5 stars
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"Don't tell" culture exposed
- By Angela on 11-03-22
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Finding Your Own North Star
- Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 448
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 391
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 383
As the creator of Life Designs, Inc., Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own North Stars and figure out how to fulfill their potential and create joyful lives through her lectures, seminars, and one-on-one counseling. In this book she shares her step-by-step program that will guide you to fulfill your own potential.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Narration not for me
- By MARYANN ORDONEZ on 10-02-17
By: Martha Beck
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
- Narrated by: Laura McKowen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,606
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,249
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 2,239
What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
- By Keith Keller on 01-31-20
By: Laura McKowen
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Marrow
- A Love Story
- By: Elizabeth Lesser
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Lesser, Sally Field
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 231
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 212
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 212
A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to yourself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones you love. But when her sister, Maggie, needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns that she is the perfect match, she faces a far more immediate and complex question about what it really means to love.
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5 out of 5 stars
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“ Love came first “
- By marie on 03-26-18
By: Elizabeth Lesser
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Parenting with Presence
- Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Polly Stone
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 151
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 121
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 120
Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons - refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests - can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
fantastic
- By Sarah Prentice on 06-26-16
By: Susan Stiffelman
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Girl in Need of a Tourniquet
- Memoir of a Borderline Personality
- By: Merri Lisa Johnson
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 63
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 56
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 58
An honest and compelling memoir, Girl in Need of a Tourniquet is Merri Lisa Johnson’s account of her borderline personality disorder and how it has affected her life and relationships. Johnson describes the feeling of "bleeding out" unable to tell where she stopped and where her partner began. A self-confessed "psycho girlfriend," she was influenced by many emotional factors from her past. She recalls her path through a dysfunctional, destructive relationship, while recounting the experiences that brought her to her breaking point.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Chaotic, disturbing, meaningless
- By BRB on 04-02-14
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Loveable
- Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life
- By: Kelly Flanagan
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 154
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 133
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 131
It's time to remember. Dr. Kelly Flanagan is known to millions for the letters he writes to his children and shares on his blog. Loveable is written to the little one in each of us, who is all too ready to be reminded: You are enough, you are not alone, and you matter. In Loveable, Dr. Flanagan reveals the core insight gleaned from his years of clinical work - you are here for a reason, yet you cannot truly awaken to it until you have first embraced your truest, worthiest self and then allow yourself to be truly embraced by others.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Rediscover YOU!
- By Hmm on 03-25-17
By: Kelly Flanagan
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Trapped in the Mirror
- Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
- By: Elan Golomb
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 139
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 121
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 122
The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Convoluted
- By Caligirl on 08-25-17
By: Elan Golomb
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This Is Not Over
- A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Madeleine Maby, Donna Postel
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 123
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 115
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 114
Two very different women with this in common: Each harbors her own secret, her own reason why she can't just let this go. Neither can yield, not before they've dredged up all that's hidden, even if it has the power to shatter all they've built.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Pettiness Turn Twisted!
- By Jenn on 01-19-17
By: Holly Brown
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3 out of 5 stars
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Decent primer if your mom is still in your life
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I really needed this!
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When your parents are pathologically self-centered, manipulative, or emotionally abusive, the pain they cause is deep and often difficult to put into words. You may experience anxiety, depression, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), low self-esteem, addiction, or other mental health conditions as an adult. But it was not your fault, and there are tools you can use to heal the trauma caused by your childhood.
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Validation
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1 out of 5 stars
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Asinine
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Looking at your childhood with the compassionate eyes of a mature and conscious adult, you can recognize where you needed something more. With the help of this guide, you don’t have to wonder if you’ll ever get over the bad experiences of the past or ever be free of their hold on you. Every single exercise, reflection, or action you take as you listen to this book will help create positive shifts in your life that will have beneficial ripple effects echoing constructively on every level of your world.
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inner child work is good
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Covert Narcissist Mother
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Ella Lansville is a scapegoat daughter of a covert narcissist mother who was able to recover after a lifetime of hidden abuse and ultimately get her life back from her mother’s clutches. You, too, can rediscover the beauty of life and everything it has to offer. If you’re ready to take a step towards healing, this book will be your comprehensive guide.
By: Ella Lansville
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The Emotionally Absent Mother
- How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect, Second Edition
- By: Jasmin Lee Cori MS LPC
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 308
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 258
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 257
Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good book but not the audio version
- By ibekristi on 08-08-18
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Will the Drama Ever End?
- Untangling and Healing from the Harmful Effects of Parental Narcissism
- By: Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.
- Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 15
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 14
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 14
A pioneer on the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse, Karyl McBride, PhD, has the answer for anyone desperate for help in overcoming the damage of being raised in a family headed by a narcissistic parent. Divided into three sections, McBride explores the insidious way a narcissistic environment is developed in a family, how a narcissistic parent damages a child’s emotional growth and ability to trust, and finally, how to not only move on but become truly free.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great book but worksheet?
- By Amazon Customer on 05-02-23
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Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
- Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
- By: Karyl McBride
- Narrated by: Karyl McBride
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,304
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,116
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,098
The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A MUST read for everyone!
- By Barb on 10-29-12
By: Karyl McBride
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The Inner Bonding Workbook
- Six Steps to Healing Yourself and Connecting with Your Divine Guidance
- By: Margaret Paul PhD, Katherine Woodward Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Erin deWard
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 15
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 15
Many of us long for spiritual connection and divine guidance - the wisdom and ability to make decisions that benefit ourselves and the greater good. But we've been conditioned to think and act selfishly, in ways that limit our access to the divine, with false, programmed beliefs that often result in suffering, addictive behaviors, and spiritual disconnection. The Inner Bonding Workbook can help you heal your psychic wounds and move beyond false limitations to achieve at-will, moment-by-moment connection with the divine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Book if your ready to change your life for
- By Donna & Benne on 09-24-22
By: Margaret Paul PhD, and others
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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
- How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 7,608
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6,453
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Story5 out of 5 stars 6,382
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive new relationships so you can build a better life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Astonishing information.
- By K J Sunflower on 07-20-16
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Out of the Fog
- Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,324
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,114
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,104
The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.
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5 out of 5 stars
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THE best book I’ve ever read on the subject
- By Alexandria Filipowski on 10-23-19
By: Dana Morningstar
What listeners say about You Are Not Your Mother
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Paige King
- 09-12-23
Very helpful and easy to listen
I found this very useful for my strained relation with my mother. It gave me things to think about or ways to think of that I hadn’t thought of. Thank you for a wonderful book.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jacqueline and Mike
- 10-24-23
She writes Meaningful Things
"A good book is one in which you both lose yourself and find yourself." For me, this was a very good book. In the first section I lost myself as I listened to Karen describe events in her childhood, many featuring her mother, that shaped her "unintentional identity" and created trauma and shame. Listening to the second section, I was able to become curious about my own shame, gaining for probably the first time a clear understanding of its origins and impact. Karen then introduces a methodology for reaching into examples in your life where you felt truly you - authentic, powerful, honest - to build what she calls "intentional identity pillars." These pillars are what Karen believes (through doing the work herself and having great success) will enable anyone to approach their life intentionally and without shame holding them back. I am just beginning to do this work, and this book has provided me with both an understanding of shame and an approach to heal it. One of Karen's core beliefs is that she writes beautiful things. I agree, but I want to add that based on this book she also writes meaningful things.
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