You All Grow Up and Leave Me

A Memoir of Teenage Obsession

By: Piper Weiss

Narrated by: Brittany Pressley

A highly unsettling blend of true crime and coming-of-age memoir - The Stranger Beside Me meets Prep - that presents an intimate and thought-provoking portrait of girlhood within Manhattan’s exclusive prep-school scene in the early 1990s, and a thoughtful meditation on adolescent obsession and the vulnerability of youth.

Piper Weiss was 14 years old when her middle-aged tennis coach, Gary Wilensky, one of New York City’s most prestigious private instructors, killed himself after a failed attempt to kidnap one of his teenage students. In the aftermath, authorities discovered that this well-known figure among the Upper East Side tennis crowd was actually a frightening child predator who had built a secret torture chamber - a "Cabin of Horrors" - in his secluded rental in the Adirondacks.

Before the shocking scandal broke, Piper had been thrilled to be one of "Gary’s Girls." "Grandpa Gary", as he was known among his students, was different from other adults - he treated Piper like a grown-up, taking her to dinners, engaging in long intimate conversations with her, and sending her special valentines. As reporters swarmed her private community in the wake of Wilensky’s death, Piper learned that her mentor was a predator with a sordid history of child stalking and sexual fetish. But why did she still feel protective of Gary, and why was she disappointed that he hadn’t chosen her?

Now, 20 years later, Piper examines the event as both a teenage eyewitness and a dispassionate investigative reporter, hoping to understand and exorcise the childhood memories that haunt her to this day. Combining research, interviews, and personal records, You All Grow Up and Leave Me explores the psychological manipulation by child predators - their ability to charm their way into seemingly protected worlds - and the far-reaching effects their actions have on those who trust them most.

©2018 Piper Weiss (P)2018 HarperCollins Publishers

too much time spent on the parodoxes of teen minds

While enlightening the reader on such topics as hebophilic grooming; and the anxiety angst insecurities and despondency of teenaged feminity. This read became quite tedious, with a predictably unresolute ending.

Beautifully written memoir

Didn't know what I was in for when I started reading and many surprises along the way. The author's beautiful words paint such a vibrant picture of her childhood and the shocking story of her infamous (who knew) tennis coach.

Must read!

not what I'd hoped for

this was mostly a boring account of a Jewish girl from an affluent family living in New York and attending expensive private schools. Very little amount of time actually spent talking about Gary walensky and the events surrounding his ultimate suicide. I struggled to get through the first half of the book, but once I hit the halfway point I kept listening until I finished it. partially because it finally started getting interesting, mostly because of the sunk-cost fallacy of using a credit on this and having invested several hours in listening to it.

sorry I wasted my sister's ONLY credit on this ,felt This Book Cheated Her, DAMN

what did i just read?

piper didn’t need to write a book, my gal needs therapy. while yes, she trained under gary and did experience his influence and grooming, this “crime novel” (aka her inner teenage monologue that she still clings to even now at 50 something) is barely about what happened and more about her desperately why he didn’t pick her, choose her, love her. in some parts, she defends him and compares herself to him in this ridiculous desperate attempt to prove *she* should have been the apple of his eye.

it is extremely sad to say that piper is, and she admits it, stunted emotionally and i hope she can find a psychologist that can help her get out of this pick me girl mentality and move on. there is no reason for her to benefit financially from another person’s trauma. save your credit and go for my dark vanessa, which is fictional, but at least has a plot.

Whiny

The main character was whiny at best, pathetic and needy at worst. The story was anticlimactic at fizzled on delivery. The only audience I can really see enjoying this book are those who were extremely into tennis in the 80s-90s, or those longing for the nostalgia of their Manhattan prep school days, and the kids they used to make fun of.

Huge Let Down

I thought we'd learn more about the psychology of Gary Wolinsky, and not so much about a boring rich girl's life.