Women Don't Ask

Negotiation and the Gender Divide

By: Linda Babcock, Sara Laschever

Narrated by: Sasha Dunbrooke

When Linda Babcock asked why so many male graduate students were teaching their own courses and most female students were assigned as assistants, her dean said: "More men ask. The women just don't ask." It turns out that whether they want higher salaries or more help at home, women often find it hard to ask. Sometimes they don't know that change is possible--they don't know that they can ask. Sometimes they fear that asking may damage a relationship. And sometimes they don't ask because they've learned that society can react badly to women asserting their own needs and desires.

By looking at the barriers holding women back and the social forces constraining them, Women Don't Ask shows women how to reframe their interactions and more accurately evaluate their opportunities. It teaches them how to ask for what they want in ways that feel comfortable and possible, taking into account the impact of asking on their relationships. And it teaches all of us how to recognize the ways in which our institutions, child-rearing practices, and unspoken assumptions perpetuate inequalities--inequalities that are not only fundamentally unfair but also inefficient and economically unsound. With women's progress toward full economic and social equality stalled, women's lives becoming increasingly complex, and the structures of businesses changing, the ability to negotiate is no longer a luxury but a necessity.

Drawing on research in psychology, sociology, economics, and organizational behavior as well as dozens of interviews with men and women from all walks of life, Women Don't Ask is the first book to identify the dramatic difference between men and women in their propensity to negotiate for what they want. It tells women how to ask, and why they should.

©2003 Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever (P)2012 Audible, Inc.

Empowering advice, and an awesome narrator!

My favorite part about this book is that it blames no one, but instead explains the current situation with examples, statistics, and a discussion of what in our society may have caused these ideas in the first place. Then it offers specific advice in how to do your part through actions at home and in the work place (not rallies or writing to your representative) that will not only make your situation better in the current society, but how to start changing society's mind about women for the future. Now get out there and negotiate!

A Motivating Read!

Would you listen to Women Don't Ask again? Why?

I would not listen to this book again only because I felt it was very repetitive. I did, however, bookmark some points I will most likely revisit in the future.

What was the most compelling aspect of this narrative?

The scientific research and studies that prove how women are paid less and expected to be paid less. It really encouraged me to ask more for what I want in all aspects of my life without being defensive, but understanding that just because it is expected for me to accept less, does not mean that I have to do so.

Which scene was your favorite?

The whole book had the same effect for me.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

I was really moved when hearing the stories of different women that either benefited from asking or were too afraid to ask for what they wanted and ended up settling for less.

Any additional comments?

This book is really motivating. I purchased it when I started the interview process for a new job. I wanted to make sure I knew to how to negotiate since I was very nervous about the entire topic. I received some really good ideas and was able to negotiate my offer from a 7% increase to a 9% increase. I felt I would not have had the courage to do so without this book! I only gave it 4 stars because it was a bit too repetitive and the narration had a complaining tone at times. Other than that a great read!

What a great book and a must read for all women.

this book has truly shaken me up in the best possible way. very eye opening and motivating.

Empowering!

Great book. Very empowering. Women and men should read it or listen to it! For negotiating advice, both at work and in personal endeavors, this is a must-read. The stories, statistics, and examples make it easy to follow along and understand the concepts in the book.

Excellent reading

Would recommend to anyone wanting to understand the why negotiations are so important during your career.

Recommend for every woman out there!

Recommended for every woman out there. All the points indicated resonated with me, and I am sure it would for most of you. Negotiating has always been a problem for me, the impact is being way too huge now that I have started my own business and stepped away from the corporate world. I am hoping this book will help me gradually change that.

Worth the read!

This book should be mandatory for all humans. It describes the problem (that women do not negotiate for themselves nearly as often as men do, offers potential explanations for the reasons why this is the current state of the world, and describes the consequences that it has on the world. Many scientific studies and experiments are referenced, as well as many (non-scientific) anecdotes. It does a great job of making its case, and inspired me to negotiate more for myself in my life. It helped give me the confidence to negotiate a 42% raise and a new job offer for myself. The book does not go much into strategies for negotiating, but I plan to read Linda Babcock's next book, which promises to go into more detail on this.

A great read, and an important one. For both women and men.

Amazing insight especially for men!

Good insight especially for men who never thought about this concept at all! I always wonder why women never said what was on their mind and/or ask what they deeply wanted

what women need to know

make time to listen even snapshots at a time. much useful info. my 18 year old daughter enjoyed listening with me. when I would swop to the radio she'd say no leave it on ...its interesting and I would love to hear more...its helpful.

Women and these who love women - Read This!

Eye-opening, inspiring and well-written (and well-narrated), this book is a treasure in Women's studies, and in preparing women to ASK for what they want.