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나는 왜 나를 사랑하지 못하는 걸까 [Why Can’t I Love Myself?]
- Narrated by: 변혜숙
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
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Publisher's summary
마음 치유자 박미라가 들려주는 '나를 사랑하는 법'
-남이 준 상처보다 내가 만든 상처와 흉터가 더 깊고 아프다
베스트셀러 『천만 번 괜찮아』 『치유하는 글쓰기』의 저자 박미라가 상처받은 나를 사랑하고 존중하는 법에 대해 말한다. 의외로 많은 사람들이 자신에게 필요한 것, 자신이 원하는 것이 무엇인지 잘 알지 못해 고통받는다. 흔히 부르짖는 '소리치지 마세요, 비난하지 마세요, 술 마시지 마세요'와 같은 요구에는 자기 자신이 없다. 우리는 자신이 싫어하는 것에 대해서는 잘 알면서 자신이 진정 원하는 것은 말하지 못하고 심지어 알지도 못한다. 그러면서 나를 있는 그대로 알아봐 줄 누군가를 기대하는데 타인은 결코 나를 있는 그대로 봐주지 않는다. 결국 자신을 온전히 이해하고 인정해 줄 사람은 자기 자신뿐이다. 이 책은 자기를 온전히 이해하는 것에서 자기사랑이 시작된다고 강조하며 자신의 욕구 알기, 자신의 부정적 측면을 그대로 인정하고 비난하지 않기, 자신의 성격과 한계 파악하기, 선택에 따르는 책임 감당하기, 고정된 틀에서 벗어나기로 완결되는 다섯 단계 자기사랑 방법에 대해 안내한다.
목차
프롤로그-당신은 사랑할 수 있습니다
1장 나를 이해하기
나의 욕구 알기
내면에서 보내는 신호
남에게 둔 시선을 내게로 돌리는 '내향화'
외면했던 내 모습 '그림자' 알기
counseling
자신의 감정을 숨기기 위해 상대의 잘못에 집착하는 당신
지독한 나르시시스트 뒤에 '숨겨진' 나르시시스트가 있다
어머니 같은 여자, 아버지 같은 남자에게 끌리는 이유
혐오하고 외면하고 싶은 인격도 나의 일부이다
타인에 대한 강박은 바로 나를 향한 것
용서에도 준비가 필요하다
피해의식은 상대의 칭찬과 인정을 갈구한다
workshop·나의 욕구를 알게 되는 글쓰기
2. 비난 금지
셀프디스와 죄의식
'흰곰' 실험
부정성 인정하기
counseling
원망하면서 그리워하는 것도 사랑의 모습이다
당신은 여전히 엄마에게 화나 있군요
허세는 그만!
싫은 건 싫은 거다
상대를 비난하는 만큼 자기비난도 커진다
나의 감정에 대한 새로운 발견
workshop·나를 위로하는 글쓰기
3. 한계 알기
부모의 짐 Vs 자식의 짐
사회가 만들어 준 짐
문제해결의 시작점, 한계 알기
counseling
상대를 부정하면 할수록 상대를 닮아 가게 된다
친구 같은 모녀관계의 이면
성격은 좋다, 나쁘다로 판단할 수 없다
부모를 경멸하고 조롱하는 중2 아들의 심리
정말 노력이 모자라서 성공하지 못하는 걸까
관계 맺기도 오랜 훈련이 필요하다
workshop·나의 한계와 성격을 알게 되는 글쓰기
4. 선택하고 감당하기
감정의 억압과 회피
고통과 괴로움의 차이
선택의 두 가지 결과
counseling
상대에게 맞출수록 상대는 더 많은 것을 요구한다
슬픔을 느끼고 표현하라
버티는 힘에 대하여
모멸감을 견뎌야 할 때
지루한 일상을 견딘 후 찾아오는 것들
피하거나 외면하면 언젠가는 부딪힌다
이혼을 막기 위해 이혼을 준비하라
workshop·감정을 해소하는 글쓰기
Please Note: This audiobook is in Korean.
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