When the Past Is Present

Healing the Emotional Wounds That Sabotage our Relationships

By: David Richo PhD

Narrated by: Tom Pile

In this audiobook, psychotherapist David Richo explores how we replay the past in our present-day relationships - and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs. Drawing on decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Richo helps listeners to:

• Understand how the wounds of childhood become exposed in adult relationships - and why this is a gift
• Identify and heal the emotional wounds we carry over from the past so that they won't sabotage present-day relationships
• Recognize how strong attractions and aversions to people in the present can be signals of own own unfinished business
• Use mindfulness to stay in the present moment and cultivate authentic intimacy

©2008 David Richo (P)2014 Audible Inc.

Great Book

This is a great self-help book. It provides good insight into feelings and behaviors that sometimes seem to come out of nowhere.

Very Eye Opening

I wish I had read this book years ago. It really opened up my eyes to a lot of things that I had never realized we’re connected..

Book is great reader volume is so low

Hate the volume level on this book barely hear the reader with the volume turned all the way up .

Great

Great description of how our past influences us and our lives in all facets and how difficult it can be if we don't understand these things

Spiritual and Scientific. Unexpectedly so.

While I often shy away from books that possess secular views if not solely providing scientific facts, this book points to the psychological necessity for the belief in a deity. As a Christian, I rely on my faith as a worldview to view the scope of my studies but also recognize the benefit of said belief to my mental well-being. Often those articles that recognize the benefit of belief in a higher power are written by religious individuals from one faith or another and support that view and as stated I endeavor often to find Christan-based studies and articles. This book time and again addresses the inherent connection between having a purpose-driven spiritual connection to root your worth in and to cast your hopes on to assuage the grief of trauma long past. It is noted in many studies as one of the most beneficial aspects of not grounding yourself in present circumstances and the troubles beset upon us in the world.
While I found much of it to be on point, I very greatly disagree with the Freudian model that brings every psychological reasoning for our actions to a foundation of sex and Mother or Father interactions. I cannot agree that every end goal of relationships is ultimately for the intent of procreation and I don't agree that every time we have sex, there are four people in the room including his mother and her father. While I indirectly see the correlation between our sexual preferences and interactions with an intimate partner reflected as that between us and our gender opposite parent, I don't necessarily agree with the idea that how we make love is dependent upon our relationship with them.
I found this book to excel in presenting the idea of transference and how our past so greatly and often unconsciously effects our perception of the world around us. it addressed the importance of recognizing when we are using the idea of transference to use clues to "assume" something must be true based on similar patterns and outcomes when we should be assessing every relationship with new eyes and with hope expecting, good from it.
I note that I gave it five stars, not necessarily because I agree with the views of all the material presented but because I believe what is presented is beneficial to anyone wishing to gain a greater understanding of the many things discussed. As open as the views presented were, they were unbiased and the material, while inclusive of any religion with which to take up and cast one's hopes upon is from a psychological perspective beneficial no matter who or what one believes in.

How I’ve lived my life not knowing the past is the present

This book aids my healing journey of the past that has been sabotaging my present and future. Unknowingly I’ve held on to the many believes and recollections of the past that destroyed my current relationship with so many people. This book literally stop that trauma and made me recognized the deeper healing I needed. Thank you Dr. Richo. Now I understand what work I needed to be and have done. Highly recommend.

MUST READ!!!!

I read each chapter at least three times before moving to the next. I was not thrilled about the narrator because his voice sounded like a whisper on the increased speed setting. This book is excellent and gives a very detailed explanation of all the relational encounters I have ever had. Please add it to your list if you truly want clarity!

Insightful

don't wait until you start experiencing issues in your relationships. this book should be for ALL COUPLES. it will open doors you didn't know was there. listen carefully

Phenomenal Read!

Absolutely phenomenal. I learned and related to so much. Will read and listen again! I shared with a few of my closest friends for sure!

Beautiful

Expertly researched, written and narrated. Thank you for this wonderful work of affirmation, encouragement and guidance on my healing journey.