What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

By: Aubrey Gordon

Narrated by: Samara Naeymi

From the creator of Your Fat Friend and co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, an explosive indictment of the systemic and cultural bias facing plus-size people.

Anti-fatness is everywhere. In What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, Aubrey Gordon unearths the cultural attitudes and social systems that have led to people being denied basic needs because they are fat and calls for social justice movements to be inclusive of plus-sized people’s experiences. Unlike the recent wave of memoirs and quasi self-help books that encourage listeners to love and accept themselves, Gordon pushes the discussion further towards authentic fat activism, which includes ending legal weight discrimination, giving equal access to health care for large people, increased access to public spaces, and ending anti-fat violence. As she argues, “I did not come to body positivity for self-esteem. I came to it for social justice.”

By sharing her experiences as well as those of others - from smaller fat to very fat people - she concludes that to be fat in our society is to be seen as an undeniable failure, unlovable, unforgivable, and morally condemnable. Fatness is an open invitation for others to express disgust, fear, and insidious concern. To be fat is to be denied humanity and empathy. Studies show that fat survivors of sexual assault are less likely to be believed and less likely than their thin counterparts to report various crimes; 27 percent of very fat women and 13 percent of very fat men attempt suicide; over 50 percent of doctors describe their fat patients as “awkward, unattractive, ugly and noncompliant”; and in 48 states, it’s legal - even routine - to deny employment because of an applicant’s size.

Advancing fat justice and changing prejudicial structures and attitudes will require work from all people. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat is a crucial tool to create a tectonic shift in the way we see, talk about, and treat our bodies, fat and thin alike.

©2020 Aubrey Gordon (P)2020 Beacon Press

Critic reviews

“Everyone who has a fat family member, friend, acquaintance, or coworker should read this insightful book.”
—Library Journal, Starred Review

“Gordon provides candid storytelling and critical analysis in this validating and inclusive read.”
—Ms. Magazine

“Writing from a personal and cultural perspective, Gordon goes beyond cosmetic complaints to undress the depths of anti-fat bias and discrimination, ultimately rallying for a social justice movement to form and broaden the scope of the conversation.”
—CultureShift

excellent policy recommendations at the end!

I really enjoyed this audio book and the historical analysis of anti-fat bias and the vision and policy recommendations at the end. you can tell Aubrey Gordon has a background in political organizing. I also really enjoy her podcast Maintenance Phase with Michael Hobbs.

I didn't notice Aubrey Gordon wasn't Narrating

I love the information, but I am all caught up on Maintenance Phase and was looking for more from a familiar voice I know and love. You can hear Aubrey's words, but having someone else reading it was hard to get past.

The Last Prejudice Exposed

I was impressed with research and soul of her expression. She has a lifetime of experience and shares them to our benefit.

10/10

I cried... a lot. As someone who is overweight and has always struggled, I needed to hear that I can be me and that's okay.

Important book for everyone

Sometimes it's painful to face the truth, but these truths are important for all of us to hear and take to heart. I recommend this book to anyone...and everyone.

Necessary “read” for all

I fell in love with Aubrey thanks to her podcast Maitenence Phase. When promoting her new book, this one was mentioned in conversation. I finally decided to dive in and I am glad I did. Personally I am a small fat (ranging from a size 16 to 20 depending on the brand) so I know that I exist in a much more privileged experience than what is being mentioned in this book. However, the struggles I have faced were not only illuminated in this book, but expanded upon how they affect people much larger than me. Everyone - but especially thin people- need to read this book and fully absorb this experience and reality.

Excellent!!!

I have been listening to Aubrey’s podcast Maintenance Phase and she had an episode about her new book. I went looking for it and I found this one that was older so I decided that I wanted to read it first.

I am so glad I did. It was so wonderful to listen to!! Thank you Aubrey! Now to go listen to the new book!!!

Enlightening

Thank you for writing this book, Aubrey. I learned so much about the toxic messaging I’ve given to others and myself. I appreciate the work you have done for fat activism. Your voice will help to reduce the trauma done to others.

A Game Changer

This book changed my whole perspective on myself as someone recovering from an ED. I am so grateful that I can live my life without so much internalized fatphobia and restrictive eating. This book is packed with so much good research but never gets dry. It's engaging from the first page to the last. I'll never forget the impact this book has had on my life.

a great read for anyone working in health care or “wellness,” & anyone who’s ever been on a diet

well researched and personal. easy to understand with a clear call to action. empathetic and convincing. this book should change how you treat others and yourself