Utere Nihil Non Extra Quiritationem Suis
A METAtropolis Story
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Narrated by:
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Alessandro Juliani
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By:
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John Scalzi
About this listen
The only thing Benji lacks more than ambition is luck. And his new job has to be the lowest of the low. But something is stirring in the zero-footprint economy of New St. Louis. And Benji’s about to find himself chin deep in the muck!
This story was originally published in the Hugo Award-nominated METAtropolis.
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Story
The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 01-05-17
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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Slow Time Between the Stars
- The Far Reaches Collection
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Kay Eluvian
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Equipped with the entirety of human knowledge, a sentient ship is launched on a last-ditch journey to find a new home for civilization. Trillions of miles. Tens of thousands of years. In the space between, the AI has plenty of time to think about life, the vastness of the universe, everything it was meant to do, and—with a perspective created but not limited by humans—what it should do.
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
- By Lisa on 06-28-23
By: John Scalzi
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METAtropolis
- By: Jay Lake, Tobias Buckell, Elizabeth Bear, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Hogan, Scott Brick, Kandyse McClure, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Armed camps of eco-survivalists battle purveyors of technology in this exclusive, original production featuring five sci-fi masters and five all-star narrators.
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Not a wasted credit
- By james on 10-27-08
By: Jay Lake, and others
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The God Engines
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
By: John Scalzi
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Miniatures
- The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Peter Ganim, Luke Daniels, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 01-05-17
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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Slow Time Between the Stars
- The Far Reaches Collection
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Kay Eluvian
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Equipped with the entirety of human knowledge, a sentient ship is launched on a last-ditch journey to find a new home for civilization. Trillions of miles. Tens of thousands of years. In the space between, the AI has plenty of time to think about life, the vastness of the universe, everything it was meant to do, and—with a perspective created but not limited by humans—what it should do.
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
- By Lisa on 06-28-23
By: John Scalzi
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The Dispatcher
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Zachary Quinto
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-16
By: John Scalzi
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Rip-Off!
- By: John Scalzi, Jack Campbell, Mike Resnick, and others
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton, Scott Brick, Christian Rummel, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rip-Off!, 13 of today’s best and most honored writers of speculative fiction face a challenge even they would be hard-pressed to conceive: Pick your favorite opening line from a classic piece of fiction (or even non-fiction) - then use it as the first sentence of an entirely original short story.
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When is a rip-off not a rip-off?
- By Julie W. Capell on 11-24-13
By: John Scalzi, and others
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Shadows Beneath
- The Writing Excuses Anthology
- By: Brandon Sanderson, Mary Robinette Kowal, Dan Wells, and others
- Narrated by: Full Cast, Terence Aselford, Colleen Delany, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Original Recording
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From the Hugo Award-winning hosts of the Writing Excuses writing advice show comes a collection of all-new stories of the fantastic, with beautiful illustrations and a behind-the-scenes look at each story’s creation.
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Fun Stories and a Great Look at the Process
- By Pat on 10-19-20
By: Brandon Sanderson, and others
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Constituent Service
- A Third District Story
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Original Recording
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Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
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Short and fun!
- By Andrew on 10-04-24
By: John Scalzi
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Agent to the Stars
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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excellent
- By C. Paget on 12-28-10
By: John Scalzi
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Redshirts
- A Novel with Three Codas
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Ensign Andrew Dahl has just been assigned to the Universal Union Capital Ship Intrepid, flagship of the Universal Union since the year 2456. Life couldn’t be better…until Andrew begins to pick up on the facts that (1) every Away Mission involves some kind of lethal confrontation with alien forces; (2) the ship’s captain, its chief science officer, and the handsome Lieutenant Kerensky always survive these confrontations; and (3) at least one low-ranked crew member is, sadly, always killed.
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Not his Wheal-house
- By P. Stover on 09-16-13
By: John Scalzi
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
By: John Scalzi
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Lock In (Narrated by Amber Benson)
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 10 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Not too long from today, a new, highly contagious virus makes its way across the globe. Most who get sick experience nothing worse than flu, fever, and headaches. But for the unlucky one percent - and nearly five million souls in the United States alone - the disease causes "Lock In": Victims fully awake and aware, but unable to move or respond to stimulus. The disease affects young, old, rich, poor, people of every color and creed. The world changes to meet the challenge.
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Love Amber's Narration
- By Anthony on 09-11-14
By: John Scalzi
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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Old Man's War
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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John Perry did two things on his 75th birthday. First he visited his wife's grave. Then he joined the army. The good news is that humanity finally made it into interstellar space. The bad news is that planets fit to live on are scarce—and alien races willing to fight us for them are common. So: we fight. To defend Earth, and to stake our own claim to planetary real estate. Far from Earth, the war has been going on for decades: brutal, bloody, unyielding. Earth itself is a backwater.
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Fun and Witty Military Sci-Fi
- By M. Spencer on 10-21-12
By: John Scalzi
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Impact Winter
- By: Travis Beacham
- Narrated by: full cast
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Original Recording
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From executive producers of The Walking Dead and Travis Beacham, the writer of Pacific Rim, comes a heart-stopping Audible Original featuring a brilliant British cast. It’s the near future and seven years since a comet hit the earth and blotted out the sun. The world is a dark, frozen landscape. And then, beastly creatures emerge and take over. A story of apocalypse, horror, and adventure, Impact Winter is a wholly original new saga created just for Audible with immersive 3D audio that dares you to pop in your earbuds and listen in the dark.
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can't stand the sounds
- By Joseph on 02-18-22
By: Travis Beacham
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The Collapsing Empire
- The Interdependency, Book 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Our universe is ruled by physics, and faster-than-light travel is not possible - until the discovery of The Flow, an extradimensional field we can access at certain points in space-time that transports us to other worlds, around other stars. Humanity flows away from Earth, into space, and in time forgets our home world and creates a new empire, the Interdependency, whose ethos requires that no one human outpost can survive without the others. It's a hedge against interstellar war - and a system of control for the rulers of the empire.
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THE STUPIDITIES OF COURT
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-01-17
By: John Scalzi
What listeners say about Utere Nihil Non Extra Quiritationem Suis
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Linda
- 04-27-22
i’ve completed the entire series
i loved the paths the different authors wove the stories into one i loved this series it was fun
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- P. J. Zannini
- 01-19-15
Best story in METAtropolis
Of course, a few of them were drivel, but this story was outstanding, even on its own. Liked it so much I bought the stand alone version.
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5 people found this helpful
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- AmberSF
- 05-13-22
...and Scalzi hits it out of the park again!
OK I loved it and I loved the narrator Alessandro Juliani--this was a new narrator for my experience with John Scalzi. He is equal to Wil Wheaton and the other Scalzi reader on Audible whose name I regret I do not remember however I can remember his voice and I really appreciate him too.
My only complaint about this particular book is that it was way too short. (As mentioned I listen to John Scalzi. Therefore I would like to listen to him longer!) That said the plot line is really excellent and works well within the short time frame. Really well.
If you haven't treated yourself yet to his work, go for it with this one. It has all of the Scalzi's trademark qualities of humor, fun insights, funny sarcasm (but never too much), and always a twist at the end that does not disappoint.
And if you like this, then the sky is the limit because thank goodness this particular writer happens to be prolific.
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- iheartnazareth
- 04-17-23
I want more stories like this
What a great short story. Clever, funny at times, just a great story. Can’t describe much without giving it away , but t the main character had some interesting, meaningful experiences.
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- ~cw.
- 05-17-22
Way too short.
I wanted to keep this storyline going, and going, and going... Scalzi understands smarts** and writes it so well that I feel __acknowledged__ and (in this case) not just accepted, but celebrated. Thank you for writing this, John. Also need to to say that Juliani's narration is perfect. It could not better.
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- Kevin Mottershead
- 10-02-21
New to this author
So far I’m digging his stuff. And apparently I need 15 words. Three more words
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- Danielle Palmer
- 05-04-22
Great short story
Very entertaining listen! Alessandro is one of my favorite narrators and he makes this cute, interesting, sci fi story that more intriguing.
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- David D. Schneider
- 10-24-16
"I don't think this means what you think it means!" 😱
5 stars is great.
4 stars is good.
_________________________________________________
A little quote from "The Princess Bride" for John Scalzi. You Latin scholars may correct me if I err, but I don't think the Latin translates into "With swine you can use everything but the squeal." __________________
Otherwise interesting tale. ________________ 😱
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- Charlie Calvert
- 01-06-22
fun short story
John Scalzi is very talented. all his skills are on show in this inventive narrative. this is popular fiction with a bullet. if you are looking for something highbrow you have come to the wrong place. if you just want to have some fun, sit back and enjoy the ride.
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- Jes_074
- 07-22-23
Nice short story
This is a good story and I’m by the fact there will be no more stories in this series!
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