Us
Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Terrence Real
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Bruce Springsteen
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By:
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Terrence Real
About this listen
Stop working on yourself as an individual and start working on your relationship as a couple, with the help of the renowned family therapist and bestselling author of The New Rules of Marriage
“This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy.”—GWYNETH PALTROW, founder and CEO of goop
Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there’s also not much that’s more important.
At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools.
In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results: repetitive fights that go nowhere, or a distant relationship in which partners end up living “alone together.” With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that’s based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness.
Us is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. With a novelist’s flair, Real shares the stories of couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the culture that reinforces our dysfunction. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of “you” and “me,” this book will show the way back to “us.” With Us, your true relationship can begin.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of charts and diagrams from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Critic reviews
“It’s cliche to say Dr. Terry Real’s new book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, changed the way I view every relationship in my life. But it’s true.”—Katie Couric Media
“[An] enveloping and insightful book . . . Real is a natural storyteller, pointed, jovial, and funny. If you’re struggling in your relationship and are open to hard truths, delivered with compassion and zero wasted time, Real is the ticket.”—Esquire (Best Wellness Books)
“Love has the power to hurt but it also has the power to heal, and Terry Real shows us how in this revolutionary guide to happy, thriving couplehood. Chock-full of wisdom, research, and innovative teachings, Us is the book every human should read in order to truly understand not just their partners, but themselves.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
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- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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Convoluted
- By Caligirl on 08-25-17
By: Elan Golomb
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Parenting with Presence
- Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids
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- Narrated by: Polly Stone
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
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Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons - refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests - can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment.
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fantastic
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By: Susan Stiffelman
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Crazy-Stressed
- Saving Today's Overwhelmed Teens with Love, Laughter, and the Science of Resilience
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- Narrated by: Chris Kayser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Peel back the cheerful façade that parents present, and you'll find that many are worried about their teens. Mood swings, impulsiveness, poor judgment, and other problems peak in these years. Add stressors such as screen addiction, cyberbullying, increasing academic demands, and time-consuming athletic commitments...and it's no surprise that today's teenagers rank as the most anxious in 50 years.
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The title got me hooked
- By Robin Pinto on 03-31-18
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The Men on My Couch
- True Stories of Sex, Love, and Psychotherapy
- By: Brandy Engler, David Rensin
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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When Dr. Brandy Engler opened her sex therapy practice for women in Manhattan, she got a big surprise. Most of the calls were from men. They wanted to talk about womanizing, porn addiction, impotence, prostitutes - and most of all, love.
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Not what you'd expect
- By J Lee on 03-26-13
By: Brandy Engler, and others
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Talking to Crazy
- How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
- By: Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his best-selling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all - the downright irrational.
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Dissapointed
- By Aaron Olson on 11-04-15
By: Mark Goulston MD
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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Growing Yourself Back Up
- Understanding Emotional Regression
- By: John Lee
- Narrated by: BJ Harrison
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
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We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general listener, best-selling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children.
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A Must Read for All Human Beings
- By Dr Brandon Wardell, DBH, MAMFT, NCC, LPC on 08-04-20
By: John Lee
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I'd Like You More If You Were More like Me
- Getting Real About Getting Close
- By: John Ortberg
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
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I'd Like You More If You Were More like Me takes on one of life's most important questions: How can I get closer to God and other people? We were created for deep connections. When people have deep connections, says John Ortberg, they win in life. When they don't have deep connections, they cannot win in life. I'd Like You More If You Were More like Me offers help in overcoming one of the biggest obstacles to making deep connections: the fact that we're so different. Different from God and different from each other.
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Terrible Title Fabulous Book!
- By 3boymama on 10-03-18
By: John Ortberg
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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When Your Kid Is Hurting
- Helping Your Child Through the Tough Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Children today live in an unpredictable, disruptive, and often violent world. Many of them live in two different homes with different sets of expectations. They face bullying at school and online. They hear news of school shootings, and racially or religiously motivated violence. They may have lost a friend or a loved one. As parents, the impulse to protect our children is strong, but that very protection can end up handicapping them for life. Rather than seek to save them from the hard things, parents must teach their kids how to cope with and rise above their problems.
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So helpful for so many situations
- By Natalie on 10-03-18
By: Kevin Leman
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Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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No PDF = 1 star
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Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
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Jayson Gaddis is a personal trainer for relationships and one of the world’s leading authorities on interpersonal conflict. For almost two decades, Gaddis has helped individuals, couples, and teams get to the bottom of their deepest conflicts. He helps people see the wisdom in conflict and how to get to zero - how “clean and clear” we feel with others when we have successfully worked through a disagreement. In Getting to Zero, Gaddis shows the listener how to stop running away from uncomfortable conversations and instead learn how to work through them.
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This book should be subtitled: How to manipulate your partner and hope they don’t notice
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The Relationship Cure
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A five-step guide for building better connections with family, friends, and lovers, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all the relationships in your life.
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Buy in Print. Audiobook good only as refresher.
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By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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Wired for Love (Second Edition)
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- By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Harville Hendrix PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Stan Tatkin
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- Unabridged
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Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how.
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Really helpful book
- By Lilly on 08-07-24
By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, and others
What listeners say about Us
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- A
- 06-24-22
Us by Terry Real
Wow. This audiobook is amazing. It is not only for therapists. Everyone should read it. Definitely listen to it again. Thank you Terry
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- Mariana
- 08-08-22
Amazing, beautiful and so useful. Mind blowing!
I am just so grateful for this mind blowing book!! Amazed!! It’s so deep and wonderful!
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- oneparadox
- 08-10-22
Excellent
I can't wait to put my new knowledge to use. Very grateful to the author.
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- Lady Green Hawk
- 08-15-22
Could Not Reccomend More
For those of us who wish to be closer to our partner, kinder to ourselves and in the world in a way that is compassionate and propels our social evolution this is a book for all of us. First, understand and address our childhood injuries,. Second develop a kinder and wiser adult voice. Third, interact with our partners and lloved ones with more self awareness and increased wisdom. Finally, show up in the world as a force of support, collaboration and sustainability because we are all related, connected and a small part of a greater web of all creation. What effects one of us effects us all.
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- Jonathan Pruitt
- 12-16-22
Incredible
Pia Mellody’s work is life-changing, and to hear it put simply, in the words of Terry Real has been an absolute treat!
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- KEVIN
- 02-25-23
Best book on relationships I’ve ever read.
Beautifully written and performed. Recommend for any committed couple. The last chapter and epilogue contains a very wise and meta perspective on our world.
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- Bria
- 03-12-23
Insightful
Loved it. It was a great listen. It was very insightful and thought-provoking. Must read!
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- Miss. Linda Montessori
- 10-18-23
should be mandatory to read this
This book is a true guide to relationships! Everyone should read if they want an amazing and healthy lasting loving relationship!
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- Fien Kestelyn
- 10-10-23
US from Terry Reel has profoundly changed my world
There are profound ideas in Terry Reels book that I hadn't heard before but make total sense. How he dissects and dismantles patriarchy and sees relationship transformation and therapy as the antidote is just one of them. It's so simple its revolutionary. I read it in physical form and audiobook and it's just such an added value to hear Bruce Springsteen's and Terry's voice, like you're in a session together. Life changing!
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Josh and Tiffany Parker
- 06-27-22
Landmark
A great book that embeds some classic Terry-isms along with some new and groundbreaking insights. Grateful to have read/listened to this book.
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2 people found this helpful