Understanding the Borderline Mother

Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship

By: Christine Ann Lawson

Narrated by: Heather Auden

The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.

Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality.

Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.

©2000 Christine Ann Lawson (P)2016 Tantor

Glad I ordered it

Good book that demonstrates the difference between a loving, caring mother vs a BPD mother. There needs to be more examples of loving moms, i.e. kind of like WWJD example. Instead WWLMD (What would loving mothers do)? Although rhe book has it, there should be more examples of loving moms. Any child with a BPD parent needs to have every image possible in their mind what an appropriate loving, caring relationship demonstrates since they have such a deficit.

Helps you understand how you were raised

All my life I wondered what was wrong with my mother, my family, especially after she killed my dad. I found some relevant answers in this book.

I needed this

Thank goodness it was on Audible because this book is expensive to buy and none of the libraries near me had it. The book was easy to understand and had a lot of examples and cases to help things click. And damn, did they click. I've never even remotely understood my mother until bow.

Very helpful.

I love the way tbe author breaks down different kinds of borderline mothers using references w could all easily understand.

loved this book!

This book helped me a great deal to understand my childhood. I highly recommend this book.

Factual and full of explanations!

I've read this book a couple of times and have yet to be bored of it. This is not a book littered with fluff and excuses about BPD. Instead, it extends a great deal of factual knowledge addressing the "why" and "how come" questions with truthful explanations and answers. Another big plus to this read is that it provides advice on how to properly act, react, and recognize BPD symptoms in oneself and/or others to name a few things. Of course, there's much more information and many different examples provided throughout the book, but it's too much to list. This is a must read for anyone who wants to understand those with BPD, it's roots of development, and how it affects those who have it. You won't be disappointed!

Relatable, helpful for understanding my situation

I listened to it in a week, I don't recall the last book I finished

A Must Read

It took me awhile to get through this book emotionally but its highly recommended if you are struggling in your relationship with your mother.

Like a play that captures the character perfectly

This book is superior to others in describing bpd. Most books rely on the DSM and repeat the same tired list of bpd traits. None talk of the real life scripts that unfold in a bpd dynamic. As much as the DSM list of traits sounds like a defined pathology it alone leads to confusion for a relative of a bpd, this book clears that up right away. There is no doubt once you hear the nuanced playwright within the book unfold and reveal the bpd characters. Amazing.

Revealing

This book has revealed so many truths that I couldn’t have seen on my own. It has provided tools that I will start to use in order to live a healthier life and raise healthy children of my own.