The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
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By:
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Drew Hayes
About this listen
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.
One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive”.
Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess!
Performed by Christopher Walker, Nora Achrati, Scott McCormick, Alejandro Ruiz, Bradley Smith, Carolyn Kashner, Ken Jackson, Terence Aselford, Richard Rohan, Rose Elizabeth Supan, Mort Shelby, Colleen Delany, Zeke Alton, Henry Kramer, Nanette Savard, and David Zitney.
©2014 Drew Hayes (P)2020 GraphicAudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Born in Fire
- Demon Days, Vampire Nights World, Book 1
- By: K.F. Breene
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,720
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,342
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,321
Supernatural Bounty Hunter isn't the sort of thing you see on LinkedIn. But with a rare type of magic like mine, I don't have many options. Dangerous or not, the job is mine. And it was going fine, until an old-as-sin vampire stole my mark, and with it, my pay day. Knowing I'm poor and desperate, he has offered me a job. I'll have to work by his side to help solve a top secret case. Everyone knows not to trust vampires. Especially a hot elder vampire.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining New Series
- By Anonymous User on 06-23-17
By: K.F. Breene
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Caged
- Caged, Book 1
- By: Amber Lynn Natusch
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 267
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 242
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Story4 out of 5 stars 242
After the death of her parents, Ruby awakens from a lifetime of shadows and finds herself alone, thrust into a world of lies, deceit, betrayal and the supernatural. As her quest for truth continues to come up short, she realizes that maybe some questions really are best left unanswered. When her true identity is finally unveiled, she is forced to choose between two of the mysterious men who continually seem to crop up in her life.She chooses poorly. Now abandoned, Ruby must learn to call on the darkness within to survive, or spend a hellish eternity imprisoned because of it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing!!!
- By Anonymous User on 07-18-14
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Charming
- Pax Arcana, Book 1
- By: Elliott James
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,167
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,991
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,993
John Charming isn't your average prince... He comes from a line of Charmings - an illustrious family of dragon slayers, witch-finders and killers dating back to before the fall of Rome. Trained by a modern day version of the Knights Templar, monster hunters who have updated their methods from chain mail and crossbows to Kevlar and shotguns, John Charming was one of the best-until a curse made him one of the abominations the Knights were sworn to hunt.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Charming is Like Dresden in wolves clothing
- By Anonymous User on 05-24-14
By: Elliott James
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Dying Bites
- Bloodhound Files, Book 1
- By: D. D. Barant
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 398
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 354
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Story4 out of 5 stars 352
Her job description is the "tracking and apprehension of mentally-fractured killers". What this really means in FBI profiler Jace Valchek's brave new world - one in which only one percent of the population is human - is that a woman's work is never done. And real is getting stranger every day. Jace has been ripped from her reality by David Cassius, the vampire head of the NSA. He knows that she's the best there is in the business, and David needs her help in solving a series of gruesome murders of vampires and werewolves.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not a yawner!
- By Anonymous User on 09-17-12
By: D. D. Barant
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Touch the Dark
- Cassandra Palmer, Book 1
- By: Karen Chance
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,164
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 781
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Story4 out of 5 stars 793
Cassandra Palmer can see the future and communicate with spirits - talents that make her attractive to the dead and the undead alike. The ghosts of the dead aren't usually dangerous; they just like to talk...a lot. The undead are another matter. Like any sensible girl, Cassie tries to avoid vampires, but when the bloodsucking mafioso she escaped three years ago finds Cassie again with vengeance on his mind, she's forced to turn to the vampire Senate for protection.
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1 out of 5 stars
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On and on and on with no point....OMG so ANNOYING
- By Anonymous User on 04-09-13
By: Karen Chance
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Red-Headed Stepchild
- By: Jaye Wells
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 575
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 481
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Story4 out of 5 stars 482
Sabina Kane doesn't really fit in. And being an assassin doesn't help matters. But she's never brought her work home. Until now. Sabina's latest mission is uncomfortably complex and threatens the fragile peace between the vampire and mage races. As she scrambles to figure out which side she's on, she uncovers a tangled political web, some nasty facts about her family, and some unexpected new talents. Any of these things could be worryingly life changing, but together they could be lethal.
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1 out of 5 stars
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One of the Worst Books I've "Read"
- By Anonymous User on 09-12-12
By: Jaye Wells
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The Book of Levi
- The Demon Accords, Book 0.5
- By: John Conroe
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 603
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 532
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Story5 out of 5 stars 532
How do you raise a boy who can bend reality with his mind? How do you keep him levelheaded, sane, and good? Raising any child is a tremendous undertaking, let alone one blessed by the goddess herself. Levi Guildersleeve, retired soldier and successful collector of rare books, finds himself as the only male role model of the most powerful witch ever born.
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3 out of 5 stars
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This could have been amazing, went on too long.
- By Anonymous User on 11-22-22
By: John Conroe
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Kitty and The Midnight Hour
- Kitty Norville, Book 1
- By: Carrie Vaughn
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,039
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,284
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,282
Kitty Norville is a midnight-shift DJ for a Denver radio station---and a werewolf in the closet. Sick of lame song requests, she accidentally starts "The Midnight Hour," a late-night advice show for the supernaturally disadvantaged. After desperate vampires, werewolves, and witches across the country begin calling in to share their woes, her new show is a raging success.
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5 out of 5 stars
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BILL CLINTON WAS A WEREWOLF
- By Anonymous User on 09-27-17
By: Carrie Vaughn
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Graveyard Shift
- By: Michael F. Haspil
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 427
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 399
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 397
Alex Menkaure, former pharaoh and mummy, and his vampire partner, Marcus, born in ancient Rome, are vice cops in a special Miami police unit. They fight to keep the streets safe from criminal vampires, shape-shifters, bootleg blood dealers, and anti-vampire vigilantes. When poisoned artificial blood drives vampires to murder, the city threatens to tear itself apart. Only an unlikely alliance with former opponents can give Alex and Marcus a fighting chance against an ancient vampire conspiracy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vampires and humans living in harmony?
- By Anonymous User on 03-23-18
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Vampire Academy
- By: Richelle Mead
- Narrated by: Stephanie Wolf
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,285
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 2,014
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,018
St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic, and half-human teens train to protect them. Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, a bodyguard for her best friend Lissa, a Moroi Vampire Princess. They’ve been on the run, but now, they’re being dragged back to St. Vladimir’s—the very place where they’re most in danger....
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator is awful. They should re-record this book!
- By Anonymous User on 12-18-18
By: Richelle Mead
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Way of the Wolf: Shifter Legacies 1
- By: Mark E. Cooper
- Narrated by: Mikael Naramore
- Length: 18 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 180
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 174
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Story4 out of 5 stars 172
Doctor David Lephmann wants nothing more than to learn about and help the less fortunate, and his new post at Mercy Hospital is the perfect place to do both. His mentor is desperate for the help, and welcomes him to a world of nonhuman customs and strange magics. One night after a long day at the hospital, David is confronted by the reality of life among monsters, when he intervenes in a fight he knows nothing about. He takes a side, and his life is changed forever.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vamps Wolves and more
- By Anonymous User on 02-01-15
By: Mark E. Cooper
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Blood Song
- Blood Singer, Book 1
- By: Cat Adams
- Narrated by: Arika Escalona
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 302
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 275
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Story4 out of 5 stars 276
Bodyguard Celia Graves has definitely accepted her share of weird assignments, both human and supernatural. But her newest job takes the cake. Guarding a prince from terrorists and religious fundamentalists is hard enough, but it seems like the entire supernatural world is after this guy too. When she is betrayed by those she is employed to help, and everything goes horribly wrong, Celia wakes to find herself transformed. Neither human nor vampire, Celia has become an abomination-something that should not exist-and now both human and supernatural alike want her dead.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Blood Song
- By Anonymous User on 05-15-12
By: Cat Adams
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Discount Armageddon
- InCryptid, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,989
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,829
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,828
The Price family has spent generations studying the monsters of the world, working to protect them from humanity - and humanity from them. Enter Verity Price. Despite being trained from birth as a cryptozoologist, she'd rather dance a tango than tangle with a demon, and is spending a year in Manhattan while she pursues her career in professional ballroom dance. Sounds pretty simple, right?
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love this book!
- By Anonymous User on 11-21-12
By: Seanan McGuire
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Storm Front
- The Dresden Files, Book 1
- By: Jim Butcher
- Narrated by: James Marsters
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,111
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49,048
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48,966
A call from a distraught wife, and another from Lt. Murphy of the Chicago PD Special Investigation Unit makes Harry believe things are looking up, but they are about to get worse, much worse. Someone is harnessing immense supernatural forces to commit a series of grisly murders. Someone has violated the first law of magic: Thou Shalt Not Kill. Tracking that someone takes Harry into the dangerous underbelly of Chicago, from mobsters to vampires....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Story, Distracting Sound Engineering
- By Anonymous User on 05-20-10
By: Jim Butcher
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An Unattractive Vampire
- By: Jim McDoniel
- Narrated by: Drew Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,597
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,404
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,403
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Blood, Guts and lots of laughs!
- By Anonymous User on 08-27-16
By: Jim McDoniel
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Wild Hunger
- Heirs of Chicagoland Series, Book 1
- By: Chloe Neill
- Narrated by: Suzanne Elise Freeman
- Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,127
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,023
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,021
In the first thrilling installment of Chloe Neill's spinoff to the New York Times best-selling Chicagoland Vampires series, a new vampire will find out just how deep blood ties run. As the only vampire child ever born, some believed Elisa Sullivan had all the luck. But the magic that helped bring her into the world left her with a dark secret. Shifter Connor Keene, the only son of North American Central Pack Apex Gabriel Keene, is the only one she trusts with it. But she's a vampire and the daughter of a Master and a Sentinel, and he's prince of the Pack and its future king.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Rated PG 13 for violence; no intimacy!
- By Anonymous User on 03-05-19
By: Chloe Neill
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Dead to Me
- Simon Canderous, Book 1
- By: Anton Strout
- Narrated by: David DeVries
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 150
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 128
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 125
A new urban fantasy featuring a man working on the right side of the law - with talents that come from left field. Psychometry - the power to touch an object and divine information about its history - has meant a life of petty crime for Simon Canderous, but now he's gone over to the good side. At New York's underfunded and (mostly) secret Department of Extraordinary Affairs, he's learning about red tape, office politics, and the basics of paranormal investigation. But it's not the paperwork that has him breathless.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Fun - worth the credit
- By Anonymous User on 08-03-12
By: Anton Strout
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- Super Powereds, Book 1
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: full cast, Jonathan Lee Taylor, Darius Johnson, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Knowledge is power. That would be the motto of Lander University, had it not been snatched up and used to death by others long before the school was founded. For while Lander offers a full range of courses to nearly all students, it also offers a small number of specialty classes to a very select few. Lander is home to the Hero Certification Program, a curriculum designed to develop student with superhuman capabilities, commonly known as Supers, into official Heroes.