
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
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By:
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Drew Hayes
About this listen
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.
One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive”.
Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess!
Performed by Christopher Walker, Nora Achrati, Scott McCormick, Alejandro Ruiz, Bradley Smith, Carolyn Kashner, Ken Jackson, Terence Aselford, Richard Rohan, Rose Elizabeth Supan, Mort Shelby, Colleen Delany, Zeke Alton, Henry Kramer, Nanette Savard, and David Zitney.
©2014 Drew Hayes (P)2020 GraphicAudioListeners also enjoyed...
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really refreshing, can't wait for more
- By riley on 05-13-22
By: Matthew Howry
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Forging Hephaestus
- Villains' Code Series, Book 1
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.
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A Nice Surprise with some Really Fun Characters
- By Small Mountain on 09-29-17
By: Drew Hayes
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Clean Sweep
- By: Ilona Andrews
- Narrated by: Renee Raudman
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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On the outside, Dina Demille is the epitome of normal. She runs a quaint Victorian Bed and Breakfast in a small Texas town, owns a Shih Tzu named Beast, and is a perfect neighbor, whose biggest problem should be what to serve her guests for breakfast.
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Story was good, narrator did not fit.
- By Letitia on 11-18-15
By: Ilona Andrews
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Underqualified Advice
- (and Other Amusing Diversions)
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Drew Hayes, and for the past six years I've made my living as a writer. In that time, I've published 20 books, written hundreds of thousands of words, and made countless mistakes - most of which I like to think I've learned from. Underqualified Advice (and Other Amusing Diversions) is my attempt to compile those lessons and share them with others, as well as have some fun along the way. Half of the book is dedicated to detailing specifics about writing, maneuvering the industry, and keeping fiscally afloat in largely unstable waters.
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Enter the Mind of Drew Hayes. The Spiders Need You
- By Tony E. on 01-30-20
By: Drew Hayes
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Death Becomes Her [Dramatized Adaptation]
- The Kurtherian Gambit, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: full cast, Colleen Delany, Emily Beresford, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Original Recording
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There is more in our world than you know. Deep in the darkness of a government building, one man needs to find the perfect solution to a vampire’s request that the government satisfy the debt of honor owed him. If he falls short, the failure will be paid in the blood of the military. He needs three uniquely qualified individuals. He can find only one. One woman, dying, might be the ace-in-the-hole he needs to appease the Vampire. But then, she might also be the one person needed to save humanity. If she is accepted, will she willingly change?
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great adaptation
- By Michael Mason on 11-02-20
By: Michael Anderle
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Too Like the Lightning (1 of 2) (Dramatized Adaptation)
- Terra Ignota, Book 1
- By: Ada Palmer
- Narrated by: Alejandro Ruiz, Chris Stinson, Jacob Yeh, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
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Mycroft Canner is a convict. For his crimes he is required, as is the custom of the 25th century, to wander the world being as useful as he can to all he meets. Carlyle Foster is a sensayer - a spiritual counselor in a world that has outlawed the public practice of religion, but which also knows that the inner lives of humans cannot be wished away.
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Too much nonsense
- By Anonymous User on 12-01-22
By: Ada Palmer
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Dead Things [Dramatized Adaptation]
- Eric Carter, Book 1
- By: Stephen Blackmoore
- Narrated by: full cast, Michael John Casey, Eva Wilhelm, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Original Recording
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Necromancer is such an ugly word, but it's a title Eric Carter is stuck with. He sees ghosts, talks to the dead. He's turned it into a lucrative career, putting troublesome spirits to rest, sometimes taking on even more dangerous things. For a fee, of course. When he left LA 15 years ago, he thought he'd never go back. Too many bad memories. Too many people trying to kill him.
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I hate this Graphic Audio version
- By Carolyn on 11-04-20
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Spellsinger
- Spellsinger Adventures Series, Book 1
- By: Alan Dean Foster
- Narrated by: Tim Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Jonathan Thomas Meriweather is a typical college student, interested in girls, music, and an occasional taste of reefer. But when a journey through an interdimensional portal lands him in a world of talking animals and ominous sorcery, he finds he is on a very different trip indeed. Here, when he plays a strange instrument called a duar, peculiar things happen: powerful magic that may be the only way to stop a dark force that threatens his new world - and his old one.
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A classic from my teenage years
- By cody on 01-31-22
By: Alan Dean Foster
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NPCs
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
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Enjoyable if you manage your expectations
- By Miachi on 01-23-15
By: Drew Hayes
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Silver [Dramatized Adaptation]
- Silver, Book 1
- By: Rhiannon Held
- Narrated by: full cast, Colleen Delany, Thomas Keegan, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Original Recording
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Andrew Dare is a werewolf. He’s the enforcer for the Roanoke pack, and responsible for capturing or killing any Were intruders in Roanoke’s territory. But the lone Were he’s tracking doesn’t smell or act like anyone he’s ever encountered. And when he catches her, it doesn’t get any better. She’s beautiful, she’s crazy, and someone has tortured her by injecting silver into her veins. She says her name is Silver, and that she’s lost her wild self and can’t shift any more.
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Good listen
- By Mb4pax on 05-19-25
By: Rhiannon Held
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Born in Fire
- Demon Days, Vampire Nights World, Book 1
- By: K.F. Breene
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Supernatural Bounty Hunter isn't the sort of thing you see on LinkedIn. But with a rare type of magic like mine, I don't have many options. Dangerous or not, the job is mine. And it was going fine, until an old-as-sin vampire stole my mark, and with it, my pay day. Knowing I'm poor and desperate, he has offered me a job. I'll have to work by his side to help solve a top secret case. Everyone knows not to trust vampires. Especially a hot elder vampire.
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Entertaining New Series
- By HWin on 06-23-17
By: K.F. Breene
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A Perfect Shadow [Dramatized Adaptation]
- The Night Angel Trilogy
- By: Brent Weeks
- Narrated by: full cast, Dylan Lynch, David Coyne, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
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Gaelan Starfire is a farmer, happy to be a husband and a father; a careful, quiet, simple man. He’s also an immortal, peerless in the arts of war. Over the centuries, he’s worn many faces to hide his gift, but he is a man ill-fit for obscurity and all too often he’s become a hero, his very names passing into legend: Acaelus Thorne, Yric the Black, Hrothan Steelbender, Tal Drakkan, Rebus Nimble.
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music and sound effects too loud
- By Meihswei on 03-21-22
By: Brent Weeks
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Far Cry
- Rise of the Revolution
- By: Alexandro Aldrete
- Narrated by: Giancarlo Esposito, full cast
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Original Recording
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A political prisoner throughout his childhood, Antón Castillo (Giancarlo Esposito) dreams of becoming El Presidente just like his father before he was killed and his family imprisoned during a revolution. A Leukaemia diagnosis might be his undoing, but an experimental drug that can only be grown in Yara, keeps him and his dream alive. But to hold on to power and keep up with production demand for his miracle drug, he must go to extreme lengths that shock even his own son Diego. Journalist and activist Clara García is determined to stop this dictator in the making whatever the cost.
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I LOVE GIANCARLO ESPOSITO
- By Anonymous User on 02-23-23
Cute and funny ( dry humor)
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solid
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original!
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Nice start
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LOVE THIS SERIES!
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I was disappointed when it first began. What's the point of full cast if it's just one guy monologuing with a few extra sound effects? That gets fixed pretty quickly. This series accumulates characters one at a time and lets you get to know one before meeting another. It doesn't take long before it has rich dialog and it's no longer just Fred's monologue.
Every inch as good as the original unabridged
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So happy I happened upon this gem of a series!
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totally entertaining
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Thought I was just getting another book...
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4.75 out of 5
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