The Real Reason the Narcissist Cheated

Transcend Mediocrity, Book 332

By: J.B. Snow

Narrated by: Sam Bogart

Many people are cheated on by the narcissist. You might think at the beginning of the relationship, in the romance and love bombing stage, that you will be immune to the narcissist cheating on you. He will not admit that he has cheated on other partners that came before you. You have no knowledge of his history before you met him, so you have no predisposed idea that he might cheat on you at all. So, you proceed with the relationship with the narcissist, as though you have met your twin flame, your soulmate, and your night in shining armor. He makes all these lifelong promises of romance, a perfect future, and just the two of you being together. You seem to have a relationship that, although not perfect, might at least seem palatable. Sometimes, the narcissist is everything you imagined in your fantasies of what a relationship should look like. Other times, he is your worst nightmare. Still, the relationship marches on.

Then, seemingly out of the blue, the narcissist cheats. You don’t realize it, but all the while throughout the whole relationship, the narcissist was cheating. He was doing little things here and there that might have given you clues that he was cheating. He covered many of them up. He couldn’t let on to you that he was cheating, or that he was grooming another mate, or that he was looking for your replacement all this while. After all, he views himself as a "good guy", and nothing you do or say will change his view of himself.

The truth of the matter is that the narcissist cannot be monogamous. There are many reasons that he cannot be monogamous with you. Almost none of these reasons have to do with how smart, pretty, and successful you are. It has less to do with who you are and how well you are doing, and more to do with the way that the narcissist is wired and how he interacts with his environment.

©2018 J.B. Snow (P)2018 J.B. Snow

Very interesting

So many things that were a lightbulb for me by listening to this. In my situation, my narcissist husband would change “hives” throughout our 13 year marriage depending on who would give him the self esteem boost that he needed. His first wife was compliant and easy to manipulate by his family. When she died, he chose a “good girl” (me) who would be a suitable mother for his children. His family of narcissists are controlling and highly disagreeable, so eventually he disowned his family hive and latched on to a new hive with our church family. His focus became pleasing the new hive, which kept his cheating to a minimum for several years. As soon as he got mad and discarded the church, he found a new hive, which introduced him to his current affair. ITS ALL SO CRAY CRAY!! I don’t understand how people LIVE this way!

Saved My Life...

This is a very helpful story.Its very educational and can very well save lives.Thanks you!

wow i was shocked

This is exactly how my relationship has been and i have hung in there for 4 strong years as my struggles match this to an exact point. I feel i cant walk away as it would only set him backwards in his treatment however now i know that the chance of him leaving his hive is slim to non. Thankyou for educating me and opening my eyes to the bigger picture at hand.

"The Hive"

I have read a lot on this subject and this "hive" makes no sense to me and have never heard of it.

Hives??

The useful information about narcissism contained in this book is completely overshadowed by the authors use of the word “hive” so ridiculously often (just about every sentence). I’m not sure why the author makes this entire book about the narcissists supposed “hive”. The author doesn’t explain his use of the word “hive” and “hive members” and beats the unnecessary concept to death. I wish I had my money back.

"The Hive" would be an accurate title to this book

The focus was completely on the "Hive" and did not cover a narcissist that has no connection to such an influence, which is the case of the person I know. I found no insight because that factor was unavoidable in the books analysis.

Terrible

This was awful! Short and they must’ve said hive 1000 times! Not all narcissists have “hives”. No accurate insight.

bad analogy

the associations in the book are not consistent with other books in the subject and in my perception wrong assimilation.
also the reader is not good and I don't like his a poo each.