The Orchid and the Dandelion
Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive
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Narrated by:
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Fred Sanders
About this listen
"Based on groundbreaking research that has the power to change the lives of countless children - and the adults who love them." (Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts)
A book that offers hope and a pathway to success for parents, teachers, psychologists, and child development experts coping with difficult children
In Tom Boyce's extraordinary new audiobook, he explores the "dandelion" child (hardy, resilient, healthy), able to survive and flourish under most circumstances, and the "orchid" child (sensitive, susceptible, fragile), who, given the right support, can thrive as much as, if not more than, other children.
Boyce writes of his pathfinding research as a developmental pediatrician working with troubled children in child-development research for almost four decades and explores his major discovery that reveals how genetic make-up and environment shape behavior. He writes that certain variant genes can increase a person's susceptibility to depression, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and antisocial, sociopathic, or violent behaviors. But rather than seeing this "risk" gene as a liability, Boyce, through his daring research, has recast the way we think of human frailty and has shown that while these "bad" genes can create problems, they can also, in the right setting and the right environment, result in producing children who not only do better than before but far exceed their peers.
Orchid children, Boyce makes clear, are not failed dandelions; they are a different category of child, with special sensitivities and strengths, and need to be nurtured and taught in special ways. And in The Orchid and the Dandelion, Boyce shows us how to understand these children for their unique sensibilities, their considerable challenges, their remarkable gifts.
©2019 W. Thomas Boyce (P)2019 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"This book fills an important need. Tom Boyce's elegantly simple characterization of dandelion and orchid children belies the complexity and rigor of the research that informs it. His book shows parents why the same conditions that may be good for one of their children will not be best for the other." (Nancy Adler, professor of psychiatry and medical psychology at University of California, San Francisco)
“Boyce’s stellar research on orchid and dandelion children will help parents and professionals develop greater sensitivity to the needs of orchid kids who are biologically challenged but surprisingly have much higher potential. A must read for all parents, teachers, and psychologists.” (John M. Gottman, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child)
"What is so timely about this book is that it brings a fresh perspective to individual differences. The author's clinical and academic expertise is unique; his prose is lucid and engaging; and he tackles a problem of enormous importance." (Charles A. Nelson III, professor of pediatrics, Harvard Medical School)
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This original and lucid account of the complexities of love and its essential role in human well-being draws on the latest scientific research. Three eminent psychiatrists tackle the difficult task of reconciling what artists and thinkers have known for thousands of years about the human heart with what has only recently been learned about the primitive functions of the human brain.
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Great subject matter-hard to listen to
- By Laurel on 07-22-19
By: Richard Lannon MD, and others
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Back to Normal
- Why Ordinary Childhood Behavior Is Mistaken for ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Autism Spectrum Disorder
- By: Enrico Gnaulati
- Narrated by: Matthew Kugler
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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A veteran clinical psychologist exposes why doctors, teachers, and parents incorrectly diagnose healthy American children with serious psychiatric conditions. In recent years there has been an alarming rise in the number of American children and youth assigned a mental health diagnosis. Current data from the Centers for Disease Control reveal a 41 percent increase in rates of ADHD diagnoses over the past decade and a forty-fold spike in bipolar disorder diagnoses. Similarly, diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder has increased by 78 percent since 2002.
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surprisingly useful and specific
- By SaturdayDad on 03-07-14
By: Enrico Gnaulati
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Attack of the Teenage Brain
- Understanding and Supporting the Weird and Wonderful Adolescent Learner
- By: John Medina
- Narrated by: John Medina
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In accessible language and with periodic references to Star Trek, motorcycle daredevils, and near-classic movies of the '80s, developmental molecular biologist John Medina explores the neurological and evolutionary factors that drive teenage behavior and can affect both achievement and engagement. Then he proposes a research-supported counterattack: a bold redesign of educational practices and learning environments to deliberately develop teens' cognitive capacity to manage their emotions, plan, prioritize, and focus.
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Wish I knew years ago
- By John Wernecke on 05-30-18
By: John Medina
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The Marshmallow Test
- Mastering Self-Control
- By: Walter Mischel
- Narrated by: Alan Alda
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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In The Marshmallow Test, Mischel explains how self-control can be mastered and applied to challenges in everyday life - from weight control to quitting smoking, overcoming heartbreak, making major decisions, and planning for retirement. With profound implications for the choices we make in parenting, education, public policy and self-care, The Marshmallow Test will change the way you think about who we are and what we can be.
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Great performance, but lacking in content
- By Hilary - San Francisco on 09-27-14
By: Walter Mischel
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The Importance of Being Little
- What Preschoolers Really Need from Grownups
- By: Erika Christakis
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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A bold challenge to the conventional wisdom about early childhood, with a pragmatic program to encourage parents and teachers to rethink how and where young children learn best by taking the child's eye view of the learning environment.
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Points out many problems; offers no real solution
- By K. Lynn on 08-06-18
By: Erika Christakis
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Emotional Intelligence
- By: Daniel Goleman
- Narrated by: Barrett Whitener
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
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It is the tenth anniversary since the first publication of Daniel Goleman's groundbreaking bestseller, Emotional Intelligence, which maps the territory where IQ meets EQ, where we apply what we know to how we live. Spending over a year on the New York Times bestseller list, Emotional Intelligence provided the evidence for what many successful people already knew: being smart isn't just a matter of mastering facts; it's a matter of mastering your own emotions and understanding the emotions of the people around you.
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Good info, hard to listen sometimes
- By Stephanie on 04-16-03
By: Daniel Goleman
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The Psychopath Inside
- A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain
- By: James Fallon
- Narrated by: Walter Dixon
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The memoir of a neuroscientist whose research led him to a bizarre personal discovery, James Fallon had spent an entire career studying how our brains affect our behavior when his research suddenly turned personal. While studying brain scans of several family members, he discovered that one perfectly matched a pattern he’d found in the brains of serial killers. This meant one of two things: Either his family’s scans had been mixed up with those of felons or someone in his family was a psychopath.
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Entertaining story with some quick neuroscience
- By smarmer on 09-21-14
By: James Fallon
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The Bond
- Connecting Through the Space Between Us
- By: Lynne McTaggart
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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From the best-selling author of The Intention Experiment and The Field comes a groundbreaking new work---a book that uses the interconnectedness of mind and matter to demonstrate that the key to life is in the relationship between things. We are always connected with others, hardwired at our most elemental level---from the quantum level to the cellular, from personal relationships to business and societal structures.
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Horrible narrator
- By Cotran on 09-19-11
By: Lynne McTaggart
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The Dolphin Way
- A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids - without Turning into a Tiger
- By: Shimi Kang
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The audiobook makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability - is the dolphin way.
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Very easy way to understand complicated subject
- By Nhat on 11-05-18
By: Shimi Kang
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Suspicious Minds
- How Culture Shapes Madness
- By: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Narrated by: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Mr. A. was admitted to Dr. Joel Gold’s inpatient unit at Bellevue Hospital in 2002. He was, he said, being filmed constantly, and his life was being broadcast around the world "like The Truman Show" - the 1998 film depicting a man who is unknowingly living out his life as the star of a popular soap opera. Over the next few years, Gold saw a number of patients suffering from what he and his brother, Dr. Ian Gold, began calling the "Truman Show Delusion," launching them on a quest to understand the nature of this particular phenomenon and the nature of madness itself.
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Intriguing
- By L. K. on 04-18-16
By: Joel Gold, and others
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Age of Opportunity
- Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence
- By: Laurence Steinberg Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Malcolm Hillgartner
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
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Adolescence now lasts longer than ever before. And as world-renowned expert on adolescent psychology Dr. Laurence Steinberg argues, this makes these years the key period in determining individuals’ life outcomes, demanding that we change the way we parent, educate, and understand young people.
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if you think you know, think again
- By Dk on 12-11-14
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The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- By: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
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Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
- By LittleBeadsOfMercury on 04-07-21
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A User's Guide to the Brain
- Perception, Attention, and the Four Theaters of the Brain
- By: John J. Ratey
- Narrated by: Eric Martin
- Length: 16 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
John Ratey, best-selling author and clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, lucidly explains the human brain's workings, and paves the way for a better understanding of how the brain affects who we are. Ratey provides insight into the basic structure and chemistry of the brain, and demonstrates how its systems shape our perceptions, emotions, and behavior. By giving us a greater understanding of how the brain responds to the guidance of its user, he provides us with knowledge that can enable us to improve our lives.
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Great book, mediocre narration
- By Dr. B on 09-25-18
By: John J. Ratey
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The Depths
- The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic
- By: Jonathan Rottenberg
- Narrated by: Walter Dixon
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
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Nearly every depressed person is assured by doctors, well-meaning friends and family, the media, and ubiquitous advertisements that the underlying problem is a chemical imbalance. Such a simple defect should be fixable, yet despite all of the resources that have been devoted to finding a pharmacological solution, depression remains stubbornly widespread. Why are we losing this fight?
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Great read for understanding
- By Adam on 02-04-15
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The Self Illusion
- Why There Is No "You" Inside Your Head
- By: Bruce Hood
- Narrated by: Bruce Hood
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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The Self Illusion provides a fascinating examination of how the latest science shows that our individual concept of a self is in fact an illusion. Most of us believe that we possess a self - an internal individual who resides inside our bodies, making decisions, authoring actions and possessing free will. The feeling that a single, unified, enduring self inhabits the body is compelling and inescapable. But that sovereignty of the self is increasingly under threat from science as our understanding of the brain advances.
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Disappointing
- By David R Pinsof on 05-10-12
By: Bruce Hood
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What listeners say about The Orchid and the Dandelion
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- Victoria Money
- 03-02-20
Applicable for all humans
This is a fantastic book that literally everyone should read/listen to. If you don’t treat children, or have children, it’s still 100% relevant because you used to be a child (at the very least). A great depiction of how our genes and environmental factors interact, yielding different health outcomes for children.
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- EM
- 02-16-19
Important reading
I hope Dr. Boyce’s message is heard by those shaping policy and that we all take seriously our responsibility to nurture and care for both the hardy and the sensitive.
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- Hector Cabrera
- 04-02-19
Breakthrough investigation for mankind's benefit!
Wow, what a impactful research work! I can't think of any more influential book I've read on the impact of how children are raised and this new evidence. Understanding how the effects of nature and nurture interact and affect on each children is so powerful and should drive the crafting of policies in education and socio-economic development. This book has changed my understanding of my own daughters, one of which is a marked orchid, and help me be a better, supportive father. I recommend this book to anyone! Parents, teachers, legislators, politicians, doctors, psychologist, and anyone else who influences and have an impact on the lives of children. The future of our society depends on them
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- Meg Gug
- 09-06-19
Thoughtful
Boyce questions and gives suggestions on how to care for all children hence people in our society buy Looking at both the most vulnerable, the most successful and everyone in between. The gifts we all bring to the table are important. I like Boyce Have wondered how the eight children in my own family could turn out so differently. This is an on going topic that we as a society should continue to revisit. Thanks for putting the conversation out there.
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- Adam
- 04-19-21
Excellent
Very informative and researched based book. Very helpful as a parent or for anyone interested in society
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- Maureen
- 09-30-19
May be every family
In the end the poem made me cry. As a dandelion who has has what the author states as absurd opportunities and success, from a large family with maybe half Orchids, I watched them all die or struggle into adulthood.
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- Michal Bareket
- 12-07-21
What an incredible book!
As a mother for both orchid and dandelion kids, this book made me understand better the differences among my kids and have a deeper understanding about my own childhood. This is a super important book, especially for parents with orchid kids, whom struggle to understand. Am so thankful to have been introduced to this book. 🙏
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-03-19
Interesting
An unique view point of the differences & similarities of children & their inner selfdom.
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- A. D. Howland
- 03-12-19
I finally know who I am
This book reaffirms my deepest self almost like a nurturing parent should have. I finally know why my experience of my non-nurturing and critical parents was so different from that of my six siblings: I am an 'orchid' child. Over and over again, my mother would say to me, "Why do you have to be so sensitive?" or "Why can't you be more like [so-and-so]". I developed depression as a child and had major depression events as an adult, all of which were connected to being raised in an environment of an angry, alcoholic father and a distant, critical mother. I have always been aware of a potential deep within myself for creativity in many forms, which manifested itself occasionally, but was suppressed over and over again with depression episodes.
This book also reaffirms for me my own research on how prior generations can pass their traumas to the current generation in two ways: parenting style and epigenetics. I fervently hope that further research into epigenetics will lead to huge advances in both preventive and maintenance treatments for the orchids in our world. We need them now more than ever.
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- stylishest
- 10-07-21
Wonderfully written with a powerful message
This is an excellent book for any parent, healthcare provider, or educator. Written as an engaging story of evolving research and personal stories, it provides insight in parenting and practice with a depth of understanding of humanity few easily portray.
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