The New and Improved Romie Futch
A Novel
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The New and Improved Romie Futch
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Narrated by:
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T. Ryder Smith
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By:
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Julia Elliott
About this listen
From the author of The Wilds, which Publishers Weekly called "a brilliant combination of emotion and grime, wit and horror," comes a debut novel that is part dystopian satire, part Southern Gothic tall tale: a disturbing yet hilarious romp through a surreal New South where newfangled medical technologies change the structure of the human brain, and genetically modified feral animals ravage the blighted landscape.
Down on his luck and still pining for his ex-wife, South Carolina taxidermist Romie Futch spends his evenings drunkenly surfing the Internet before passing out on his couch. In a last-ditch attempt to pay his mortgage, he replies to an ad and becomes a research subject in an experiment conducted by the Center for Cybernetic Neuroscience in Atlanta, Georgia. After "scientists" download hifalutin humanities disciplines into their brains, Romie and his fellow guinea pigs start debating the works of Foucault and hashing out the intricacies of postmodern subjectivity.
The enhanced taxidermist, who once aspired to be an artist, returns to his hometown ready to revolutionize his work and revive his failed marriage. As Romie tracks down specimens for his elaborate animatronic taxidermy dioramas, he develops an Ahab-caliber obsession with bagging "Hogzilla", a thousand-pound feral hog that has been terrorizing Hampton County. Cruising hog-hunting websites, he learns that this lab-spawned monster possesses peculiar traits. Pulled into an absurd and murky underworld of biotech operatives, FDA agents, and environmental activists, Romie becomes entangled in the enigma of Hogzilla's origins. Exploring the interplay between nature and culture, biology and technology, reality and art, The New and Improved Romie Futch probes the mysteries of memory and consciousness, offering a darkly comic yet heartfelt take on the contemporary human predicament.
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A Death in Kitchawank, and Other Stories
- By: T. C. Boyle
- Narrated by: T. C. Boyle
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 100
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Story4 out of 5 stars 90
Few authors write with such sheer love of story and language as T. C. Boyle, and that is nowhere more evident than in his inventive, wickedly funny, and always entertaining short stories. Here are 14 new tales previously unpublished in book form. By turns mythic and realistic, farcical and tragic, ironic and moving, Boyle's stories have mapped a wide range of human emotions. The stories here reflect his maturing themes.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Mixed Bag
- By AuntGert on 09-22-20
By: T. C. Boyle
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Vampires in the Lemon Grove
- Stories
- By: Karen Russell
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey, Joy Osmanski, Kaleo Griffith, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 282
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 252
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Story4 out of 5 stars 253
In the collection's marvelous title story, two aging vampires in a sun-drenched Italian lemon grove find their hundred-year marriage tested when one of them develops a fear of flying. In "The Seagull Army Descends on Strong Beach, 1979", a dejected teenager discovers that the universe is communicating with him through talismanic objects left in a seagull's nest. "Proving Up" and "The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis" find Russell veering into more sinister territory.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Stylish modern magic realism
- By Ryan on 04-10-13
By: Karen Russell
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The Necromancer's House
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 491
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 435
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Story4 out of 5 stars 434
Andrew Ranulf Blankenship is a handsome, stylish nonconformist with wry wit, a classic Mustang, and a massive library. He is also a recovering alcoholic and a practicing warlock, able to speak with the dead through film. His house is a maze of sorcerous booby traps and escape tunnels, as yours might be if you were sitting on a treasury of Russian magic stolen from the Soviet Union thirty years ago.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Finally - Magic / Fantasy Novel for adults.
- By David on 04-23-14
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Necropolis
- By: Michael Dempsey
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 173
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 158
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 158
NYPD detective Paul Donner and his wife Elise were killed in a hold-up gone wrong. Fifty years later, Donner is back: revived courtesy of the Shift. Supposedly the unintended side-effect of a botched biological terrorist attack and carried by a ubiquitous retrovirus, the Shift jump-starts dead DNA and throws the life cycle into reverse, so reborns like Donner must cope with the fact that they are not only slowly youthing toward a new childhood, but have become New York's most hated minority.
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5 out of 5 stars
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'Necropolis' Rocked My World
- By HEIDI on 01-19-12
By: Michael Dempsey
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Make Something Up
- Stories You Can't Unread
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Chuck Palahniuk, Scott Sowers, Rich Orlow, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 483
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 434
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 431
For years Chuck Palahniuk has reserved his best storytelling for his readings, often choosing to read a new short story instead of whatever novel he is supposed to be promoting. Make Something Up compiles these previously unpublished tales for the very first time, plus the Byliner social media insta-classic "Phoenix" and Palahniuk's most notable pieces from Playboy.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Plenty of shock, just not enough Palahniuk awe
- By Darwin8u on 06-10-15
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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The New Hunger
- A Warm Bodies Novella
- By: Isaac Marion
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 3 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 132
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 122
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 122
The end of the world didn't happen overnight. After years of war, societal breakdown, freak storms, and rising tides, humanity already hovered near the edge. Then came the most unexpected threat of all: the world's corpses rising up to deliver the final blow.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not worth more than $1.00 or so
- By cristina on 11-20-15
By: Isaac Marion
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The Sky Is Yours
- A Novel
- By: Chandler Klang Smith
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 89
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 84
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 82
In the burned-out, futuristic city of Empire Island, three young people navigate a crumbling metropolis constantly under threat from a pair of dragons that circle the skies. When violence strikes, reality star Duncan Humphrey Ripple V, the spoiled scion of the metropolis' last dynasty; Baroness Swan Lenore Dahlberg, his tempestuous, death-obsessed betrothed; and Abby, a feral beauty he discovered tossed out with the trash; are forced to flee everything they've ever known.
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3 out of 5 stars
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a hot mess
- By Alison on 04-09-19
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Still
- Still Series, Book 1
- By: Camilla Monk
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 65
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
It always started like this, a pulse inside me, like a warning before the tide surged, roared... and froze everything. Twenty-year old Emma just landed in Rome, to find the father who walked out of her life more than a decade ago and was too busy eating pizza to call. Traveling with her is a secret she's carried alone since childhood: sometimes, around her, time stops. People and cars freeze, rain hangs still in the air and there's only her left in the silence. To make things worse, instead of her dad, Em runs into a past she'd rather forget in the person of Lily, her stepsister.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Camilla Monk & Amy McFadden - the dynamic duo!
- By Bethany on 07-03-18
By: Camilla Monk
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Lie in Wait
- By: Eric Rickstad
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 377
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 354
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Story4 out of 5 stars 353
In the remote, pastoral hamlet of Canaan, Vermont, a high-profile legal case shatters the town's sense of peace and community. Anger simmers. Fear and prejudice awaken. Old friends turn on each other. Violence threatens. So when a young teenage girl is savagely murdered while babysitting at the house of the lead attorney in the case, Detective Sonja Test believes the girl's murder and the divisive case must be linked.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not a Good Story or Characters
- By L. O. Pardue on 09-12-15
By: Eric Rickstad
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Sister Mine
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 118
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 116
"We'd had to be cut free of our mother's womb. Abby and I were fused, you see. But here's the real kicker; Abby had the magic, I didn't." Now adults, Makeda and Abby still share their childhood home. The surgery to separate the two girls left Makeda with what feels like an even worse deformity: no mojo. The daughters of a celestial demigod and a human woman, Makeda and Abby were raised by their magical father. Today, Makeda has decided it's high time to move out and make her own life.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator saves this story
- By Denis A. on 03-21-14
By: Nalo Hopkinson
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Horror Stories
- Twenty-Six Scary Tales
- By: Jack Kilborn, J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 358
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 315
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Story4 out of 5 stars 321
This collection features a menagerie of horror stories. Some are scary. Some are disturbing. Some are funny. Meet werewolves, vampires, zombies, psychopaths, aliens, cannibals, ghosts, and various things that go bump in the night. Previously published in dozens of anthologies and magazines, some of these tales are mild, but some are extreme. Let the reader beware...
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5 out of 5 stars
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IS A PIECE OF A@@, WORTH PRISON?, HELL YA!
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 02-10-16
By: Jack Kilborn, and others
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The Iron Dragon's Daughter
- By: Michael Swanwick
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 14 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 79
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 71
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Story4 out of 5 stars 71
Named a New York Times notable book of 1994, The Iron Dragon's Daughter tells the heartrending story of a changeling child who is kidnapped to a realm of malls and machines and enslaved in a vast, infernal factory. Ultimately, she escapes and attempts to educate herself about this alien world, while being tormented by visions of the life she was denied.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Inconsistent story and makes for a poor experience
- By Martin Smith on 07-10-15
By: Michael Swanwick
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The Hollow Man
- By: Dan Simmons
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 122
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Story4 out of 5 stars 115
Jeremy Bremen has a secret. All his life he's been cursed with the ability to read minds. He knows the secret thoughts, fears, and desires of others as if they were his own. For years, his wife, Gail, has served as a shield between Jeremy and the burden of this terrible knowledge. But Gail is dying, her mind ebbing slowly away, leaving him vulnerable to the chaotic flood of thought that threatens to sweep away his sanity. Now Jeremy is on the run - from his mind, from his past, from himself - hoping to find peace in isolation.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Genius writing, great book
- By David Shear on 02-28-14
By: Dan Simmons
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Halcyon
- A Thriller
- By: Rio Youers
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 13 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 28
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
Halcyon is the answer for all Americans who want to escape, but paradise isn't what it seems. A beautiful island in the middle of Lake Ontario - a self-sustaining community made up of people who want to live without fear, crime, or greed. Halcyon is run by Valerie Kemp, aka Mother Moon, benevolent and altruistic on the outside, but hiding an unimaginable darkness inside. She has dedicated her life to the pursuit of Glam Moon, a place of eternal beauty and healing. And she believes the pathway there can only be found at the end of pleasure.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Intense and mesmerizing
- By Andrea on 09-25-18
By: Rio Youers
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The Hundredth Man
- Carson Ryder/Harry Nautilus #1
- By: Jack Kerley
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 103
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Story4 out of 5 stars 101
When bizarre and cryptic messages are found on a pair of corpses in Mobile, Alabama, junior police detective Carson Ryder and veteran cop Harry Nautilus find themselves in a mysterious public-relations quagmire pitting public safety against office politics. With the body count growing, Ryder must confront his family's terrifying past by seeking advice from his brother, a violent psychopath convicted of similarly heinous crimes.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Definitely a case for Matthew McConnaghey
- By Cheryl on 08-19-14
By: Jack Kerley
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Something More Than Night
- By: Ian Tregillis
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 13 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 421
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 384
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Story4 out of 5 stars 383
Ian Tregillis's Something More Than Night is a Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler inspired murder mystery set in Thomas Aquinas’s vision of Heaven. It’s a noir detective story starring fallen angels, the heavenly choir, nightclub stigmatics, a priest with a dirty secret, a femme fatale, and the Voice of God.
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5 out of 5 stars
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part noir mystery, part philosophy class
- By Alison on 04-14-14
By: Ian Tregillis
What listeners say about The New and Improved Romie Futch
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- human5674395
- 07-01-23
perfect narration
The narration is perfect - literally nothing to improve on. The writing is brilliant, funny, and absurd. I thoroughly enjoyed this the first time I listened to it about a year ago. My bookclub selected this and it's just as good the second time around
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- KEBP
- 08-09-17
EXCELLENT! Stick with it!!
This is the best book I've read or listened to... kind of a lighter, southern, modern-day "Ready Player One."
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Dealosaurus Rex
- 08-06-18
Masculinity under the microscope
This was a funny, intelligent, science fictional look at the plight of the rural dude in a modern, progressive culture.
Romie Futch is his own worst enemy, despite the ex wife, evil corporation, sleazy frienemy and genetically-engineered pig monster contending for that role. Even after he signs up for a mysterious medical experiment that gives him super intelligence, he can't manage to get out of his own way in his pursuit of happiness and success.
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