The Garden Gnome
Extreme Horror
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The Garden Gnome
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Narrated by:
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Jon Bolitho-Jones
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By:
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Kevin Sweeney
About this listen
For fans of such classics as James Herbert's The Fog or Shaun Hutson's Slugs, a retro -style horror novel....
Her neighbours regularly steal Mr. Farmer, her favourite gnome, from the old widow's garden to take away on holiday with them. It's a harmless joke. Mar Farmer has travelled all over the world, but he always comes back with plenty of photographs of his adventures to delight the lonely old widow.
But this time, he has brought back something else as well....
Sex-dolls, clothes mannequins, ventriloquist dummies, action figures, stone statues.... Suddenly, all over the world, anything that has been given a human face comes to life. Comes to life...and starts killing.
Why is this happening? What do they want? Is this how the world ends? Only the garden gnome knows....
©2021 Kevin Sweeney (P)2022 Kevin SweeneyListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,680
When linguist Andrew Dennison is yanked from his bed by the Secret Service and taken to a top secret facility in the desert, he has no idea he's been brought there to translate the words of an ancient demon. He joins pretty but cold veterinarian Sun Jones, eccentric molecular biologist Dr. Frank Belgium, and a hodge-podge of religious, military, and science personnel to try and figure out if the creature is, indeed, Satan. But things quickly go bad, and very soon Andy isn't just fighting for his life, but the lives of everyone on earth…
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4 out of 5 stars
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Making My Beelzebubble Burst
- By Carol on 01-01-14
By: J. A. Konrath
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The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4 out of 5 stars 93
"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott
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The Shadow Glass
- By: Josh Winning
- Narrated by: Colin Mace
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
Jack Corman is failing at life. Jobless, jaded, and on the “wrong” side of 30, he’s facing the threat of eviction from his London flat while reeling from the sudden death of his father, onetime film director Bob Corman.
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5 out of 5 stars
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80’s Fantasy Movie Homage
- By Shawn Lysik on 04-15-22
By: Josh Winning
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Necropolis
- By: Michael Dempsey
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 173
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 158
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 158
NYPD detective Paul Donner and his wife Elise were killed in a hold-up gone wrong. Fifty years later, Donner is back: revived courtesy of the Shift. Supposedly the unintended side-effect of a botched biological terrorist attack and carried by a ubiquitous retrovirus, the Shift jump-starts dead DNA and throws the life cycle into reverse, so reborns like Donner must cope with the fact that they are not only slowly youthing toward a new childhood, but have become New York's most hated minority.
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5 out of 5 stars
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'Necropolis' Rocked My World
- By HEIDI on 01-19-12
By: Michael Dempsey
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The Beautiful Dead
- By: Belinda Bauer
- Narrated by: Andrew Wincott
- Length: 10 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 63
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Story4 out of 5 stars 63
Crime reporter Eve Singer's career is on the downward slope when a spate of bizarre murders - each carefully orchestrated and advertised like performance art - begin in her territory. Covering these very public crimes revives her byline, and when the killer contacts Eve to discuss her coverage of his crimes, she is suddenly on the inside of the biggest murder investigation of the decade. But as the killer becomes increasingly obsessed with her, Eve realizes there's a thin line between inside information and becoming an accomplice to murder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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What is this
- By J.Hamp on 02-09-21
By: Belinda Bauer
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Dark Screams
- Volume One
- By: Kelley Armstrong, Bill Pronzini, Ramsey Campbell, and others
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 87
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 78
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Story4 out of 5 stars 79
Weeds by Stephen King: When a meteorite lands on his property, Jordy Verrill envisions an easy payday. Unfortunately for Jordy, this is no ordinary rock - and the uncompromising force inside has found its first target.
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2 out of 5 stars
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WISH IN ONE HAND, SPIT IN THE OTHER
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 03-14-16
By: Kelley Armstrong, and others
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The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki, Mary Robinette Kowal, Justine Eyre
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 118
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 109
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Story4 out of 5 stars 109
Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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3 out of 5 stars
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HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
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The Wicked Girls
- By: Alex Marwood
- Narrated by: Anna Bentinck
- Length: 14 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,826
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 3,464
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,460
On a fateful summer morning in 1986, two 11-year-old girls meet for the first time. By the end of the day, they will both be charged with murder. Twenty-five years later, journalist Kirsty Lindsay is reporting on a series of sickening attacks on young female tourists in a seaside vacation town when her investigation leads her to interview carnival cleaner Amber Gordon. For Kirsty and Amber, it's the first time they've seen each other since that dark day so many years ago.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I didn't want to like these girls...
- By Lesley on 08-30-13
By: Alex Marwood
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Sister Mine
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 118
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 116
"We'd had to be cut free of our mother's womb. Abby and I were fused, you see. But here's the real kicker; Abby had the magic, I didn't." Now adults, Makeda and Abby still share their childhood home. The surgery to separate the two girls left Makeda with what feels like an even worse deformity: no mojo. The daughters of a celestial demigod and a human woman, Makeda and Abby were raised by their magical father. Today, Makeda has decided it's high time to move out and make her own life.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator saves this story
- By Denis A. on 03-21-14
By: Nalo Hopkinson
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314
- By: A. R. Wise
- Narrated by: Vanessa Johansson
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 169
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 149
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 152
Alma Harper has been trying to forget what happened in Widowsfield 16 years ago. She has a good life as a music teacher now, and might rekindle her relationship with her one true love. However, the number 314 haunts her, and threatens to bring her back to the day that her brother disappeared. When a reporter shows up, just days before March 14th, Alma realizes that her past is coming back to haunt her. What happened on March 14th, at 3:14, 16 years ago? No one but The Skeleton Man can remember.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not what you think
- By Brandy Hall on 05-07-15
By: A. R. Wise
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Make Something Up
- Stories You Can't Unread
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Chuck Palahniuk, Scott Sowers, Rich Orlow, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 483
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 434
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 431
For years Chuck Palahniuk has reserved his best storytelling for his readings, often choosing to read a new short story instead of whatever novel he is supposed to be promoting. Make Something Up compiles these previously unpublished tales for the very first time, plus the Byliner social media insta-classic "Phoenix" and Palahniuk's most notable pieces from Playboy.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Plenty of shock, just not enough Palahniuk awe
- By Darwin8u on 06-10-15
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Company Town
- By: Madeline Ashby
- Narrated by: Cecelia Kim
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 138
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 123
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 124
They call it Company Town - a city-size oil rig off the coast of the Canadian Maritimes, now owned by one very wealthy, powerful, byzantine family: Lynch Ltd. Hwa is of the few people in her community (which constitutes the whole rig) to forgo bioengineered enhancements. As such, she's the last truly organic person left on the rig - making her doubly an outsider as well as a neglected daughter and bodyguard extraordinaire.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Different
- By J.G. Brandt on 01-16-17
By: Madeline Ashby
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Autobiography of a Werewolf Hunter
- By: Brian P. Easton
- Narrated by: Basil Sands
- Length: 15 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 267
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 233
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 232
It takes more than silver bullets to kill a werewolf. Sylvester James knows what it is to be haunted. His mother died giving birth to him and his father never let him forget it; until the night he was butchered by a werewolf - the night a full moon ruined his life.
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4 out of 5 stars
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exciting and scary
- By Tom on 04-21-16
By: Brian P. Easton
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Angelmaker
- By: Nick Harkaway
- Narrated by: Daniel Weyman
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,514
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,352
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,351
Joe Spork repairs clocks, a far cry from his late father, a flashy London gangster. But when Joe fixes one particularly unusual device, his life is suddenly upended. Joe's client, Edie Banister, is more than just a kindly old lady - she's a former superspy. And the device? It's a 1950s doomsday machine. And having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the government and a diabolical South Asian dictator, Edie's old arch-nemesis.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A cure for the modern cynic
- By Maine Colonial 🌲 on 08-28-12
By: Nick Harkaway
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The Sky Is Yours
- A Novel
- By: Chandler Klang Smith
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 89
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 84
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 82
In the burned-out, futuristic city of Empire Island, three young people navigate a crumbling metropolis constantly under threat from a pair of dragons that circle the skies. When violence strikes, reality star Duncan Humphrey Ripple V, the spoiled scion of the metropolis' last dynasty; Baroness Swan Lenore Dahlberg, his tempestuous, death-obsessed betrothed; and Abby, a feral beauty he discovered tossed out with the trash; are forced to flee everything they've ever known.
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3 out of 5 stars
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a hot mess
- By Alison on 04-09-19