The Cheap Handyman
True (and Disastrous) Tales from a [Home Improvement Expert] Guy Who Should Know Better
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The Cheap Handyman
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Narrated by:
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Edward Bauer
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By:
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B.S. Harris
About this listen
This Old House meets #HomeImprovementFails in this collection of laugh-out-loud essays, perfect for fans of Nick Offerman, CarTalk, or The Red Green Show.
"This book is all the fix-it you need for your hurt home improvement ego." (Harrison Scott Key, Thurber Prize-winning author of The World's Largest Man)
Meet Brian Harris, a (mostly) retired, self-proclaimed jack of all trades with a penchant for DIY and inventive money-saving schemes. Armed with a soldering gun, his trusty nine-foot ladder, and of course the handyman’s secret weapon - duct tape - Brian’s projects start out as simple chores: trim a tree branch, stain the cedar siding on his home...but all too often they end in costly disaster.
Sometimes he’s trying to do the right thing, like the time he wrecked his pool while saving some baby ducks. Often, he channels his inner MacGyver: He once taped his hockey skate back together so he could finish his rec-league game, only to get suspended for falling on the referee when it broke (again). But usually he’s just being, well, cheap! Like the time he inadvertently destroyed a $295 car key fob because he wouldn’t pay the (outrageous) $10 fee to have the battery professionally replaced.
In The Cheap Handyman, Brian anthologizes his hard-won wisdom, teaching us how (not) to cut down a tree, what to do if a stray cat has kittens in your HVAC system, three very incorrect uses for duct tape, the manifold hazards of pool maintenance, and more.
Filled with unforgettable true stories from the everyday life of an average guy just trying to save a few bucks, The Cheap Handyman is a delightful tribute to anyone who has ever thought, "Sure! I can do that!"
©2021 Brian S. Harris. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 163
There's over a million people in the city of Waterloo. Today, most of them have died, and now they're hungry. Corporal Dan Williamson is caught in the middle of the outbreak, desperately trying to reach his wife who is somewhere amid the urban decay. There are other souls out there, other tales of survival among the horror. Dan will soon learn that the living may prove to be an even bigger threat than the dead.
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3 out of 5 stars
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solid zombie story!
- By Mike Naka on 12-07-13
By: Daniel Cotton
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Auto Biography
- A Classic Car, an Outlaw Motorhead, and 57 Years of the American Dream
- By: Earl Swift
- Narrated by: Greg Itzin
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 33
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
A brilliant blend of Shop Class as Soulcraft and The Orchid Thief, Earl Swift’s wise, funny, and captivating Auto Biography follows an outlaw-genius auto mechanic as he painstakingly attempts to restores a classic 1957 Chevy to its former glory - all while the FBI and local law enforcement close in.
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5 out of 5 stars
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epic story of man and machine.
- By D.Streeter on 07-01-22
By: Earl Swift
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Day By Day Armageddon
- By: J. L. Bourne
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,477
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,317
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,301
In your hands is the handwritten journal depicting one man's struggle for survival. Trapped in the midst of global disaster, he must make decisions; choices that ultimately mean life, or the eternal curse to walk as one of them. Enter, if you will, into the world of the undead.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Freakin' AWESOME!
- By Brandon on 02-09-11
By: J. L. Bourne
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Govt Cheese
- By: Steven Pressfield
- Narrated by: Steven Pressfield
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 197
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 180
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Story5 out of 5 stars 178
People who have read my books, particularly “The War of Art” and its cousins, have a vague idea of the odyssey of a particular solitary guy, wracked with guilt and riven by self-doubt, as he struggles toward his destiny as a writer. But they have only the scantiest conception of the particulars of that journey. These particulars I’m hoping may be of use to others as they wrestle with their own version of that same odyssey. So let me try to strip it down. Let me tell the parts I normally leave out.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Another Great Work by a great storyteller
- By Vales Tales on 12-11-22
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The Rescuer
- One Firefighter’s Story of Courage, Darkness, and the Relentless Love That Saved Him
- By: Jason Sautel, D.R. Jacobsen - contributor
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 241
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 213
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 215
He helped save people every day - but he had no idea how to save himself. Jason Sautel had it all. Confident in his abilities and trusted by his fellow firefighters, he was making a name for himself on the streets of Oakland, California. His adrenaline-fueled job even helped him forget the pain of his childhood - until the day he looked into the eyes of a jumper on the Bay Bridge and came face-to-face with a darkness he knew would take him down as well.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Real..... and good!
- By Anonymous User on 03-07-21
By: Jason Sautel, and others
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House Lessons
- Renovating a Life
- By: Erica Bauermeister
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 102
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 87
In this mesmerizing memoir-in-essays, New York Times best-selling author Erica Bauermeister renovates a trash-filled house in eccentric Port Townsend, Washington, and in the process takes listeners on a journey to discover the ways our spaces subliminally affect us. A personal, accessible, and literary exploration of the psychology of architecture, this book is designed for homeowners, remodelers, and those who are simply curious about how our built environments shape who we become.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful book for anyone home shopping
- By ERICK on 09-04-20
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Ingenious
- A True Story of Invention, Automotive Daring, and the Race to Revive America
- By: Jason Fagone
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story4 out of 5 stars 34
In 2007, the X Prize Foundation announced that it would give $10 million to anyone who could build a safe, mass-producible car that could travel one hundred miles on the energy equivalent of a gallon of gas. The challenge attracted more than one hundred teams from all over the world, including dozens of amateurs. Many designed their cars entirely from scratch, rejecting decades of thinking about what a car should look like.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels.
- By Shamu from New York on 12-07-13
By: Jason Fagone
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Signals: New and Selected Stories
- By: Tim Gautreaux
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
After the stunning historical novels The Clearing and The Missing, Tim Gautreaux now ranges freely through contemporary life with 12 new stories and eight from previous collections. Most are set in his beloved Louisiana, many hard by or on the Mississippi River, others in North Carolina, and even in midwinter Minnesota. But generally it's heat, humidity, and bugs that beset his people as they wrestle with affairs of the heart, matters of faith, and the pros and cons of tight-knit communities.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Perfection! Amazing writer/amazing reader
- By Monique on 01-08-19
By: Tim Gautreaux
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Zen and Now
- On the Trail of Robert Pirsig and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
- By: Mark Richardson
- Narrated by: Buck Schirner
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 107
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 84
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Story4 out of 5 stars 83
In 1968, Robert Pirsig and his son, Chris, made the cross-country motorcycle trip that was the basis for Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, a book that has inspired generations with its searching personal and philosophical narrative. After rereading the book at the onset of middle age, reporter Mark Richardson tuned up his old Suzuki dirt bike and became a "Pirsig Pilgrim".
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful
- By James on 04-17-09
By: Mark Richardson
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Past Crimes
- A Van Shaw Novel
- By: Glen Erik Hamilton
- Narrated by: Jeff Harding
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 270
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 242
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Story4 out of 5 stars 237
From the time he was six years old, Van Shaw was raised by his Irish immigrant grandfather, Donovan, to be a thief - to boost cars, beat security alarms, crack safes, and burglarize businesses. But at 18 Dono's namesake and protégé suddenly broke all ties to that life and the people in it. Van escaped into the military, serving as an elite army ranger in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now, after ten years of silence, Dono has asked his grandson to come home to Seattle.
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5 out of 5 stars
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15 Stars! Okay?
- By Ted on 03-06-16
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King of the Road
- True Tales from a Legendary Ice Road Trucker
- By: Alex Debogorski
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 47
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47
Inside one of the world's most dangerous jobs with the star of History's top-rated reality show, Ice Road Truckers. The highest-rated reality show ever to hit the History channel, Ice Road Truckers follows the heart-pounding adventures of the tough-as-nails truckers who risk peril every day to deliver goods and supplies in Alaska and across Canada's frozen north. Alex Debogorski here shares tales of his adventures - and misadventures.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome Book.
- By Anonymous User on 10-28-19
By: Alex Debogorski
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Aurora
- A Novel
- By: David Koepp
- Narrated by: Rupert Friend
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 453
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 400
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Story4 out of 5 stars 397
In Aurora, Illinois, Aubrey Wheeler is just trying to get by after her semi-criminal ex-husband split, leaving behind his unruly teenage son. Then the lights go out—not just in Aurora but across the globe. A solar storm has knocked out power almost everywhere. Suddenly, all problems are local, very local, and Aubrey must assume the mantle of fierce protector of her suburban neighborhood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Best of Us
- By James Munoz on 09-09-22
By: David Koepp
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The Dead Cat Bounce
- By: Sarah Graves
- Narrated by: Lindsay Ellison
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,286
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,138
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,134
Since she bought her rambling fixer-upper of a house, Jacobia Tiptree has gotten used to finding things broken. But her latest problem isn't so easily repaired. Along with the rotting floor joists and sagging support beams, there's the little matter of the dead man in Jake's storeroom, an ice pick planted firmly in his cranium. Jake's unknown guest turns out to be local boy turned billionaire Threnody McIlwaine.
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3 out of 5 stars
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too slow of a story...
- By Annette on 03-13-18
By: Sarah Graves
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Solar Plexus: Publisher's Pack
- Solar Plexus, Books 1 & 2
- By: Victor Zugg
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 70
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 70
A massive solar storm induced EMP of apocalyptic proportions knocks out power and fries circuits for most of the planet. Transportation, communications, and constraints on human nature are gone. Within hours, store shelves are empty; gangs and desperate people with guns rampage. Survival for those ill-equipped and unprepared will be short-lived. This will be the new normal for many months, possibly years.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Disappointing
- By Kevin Carroll on 11-27-21
By: Victor Zugg
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From Para to Dakar
- Overcoming Paralysis and Conquering the Dakar Rally
- By: Joey Evans
- Narrated by: Joey Evans, Meredith Evans
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 60
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Story5 out of 5 stars 59
From Para to Dakar is so much more than the story of one man reaching the Dakar finish line. It is a story of friendship and respect, compassion and kindness. It is about defying the odds to reach a dream, it is about grit, endurance and raw courage, and it is inspiring in its true heroism.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Relatable and humble
- By Sean Graves on 08-20-24
By: Joey Evans
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Rogue Warrior II: Red Cell
- By: Richard Marcinko, John Weisman
- Narrated by: Richard Marcinko
- Length: 2 hrs and 32 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 283
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 233
When Richard Marcinko wrote his best-selling autobiography, Rogue Warrior, he and co-writer John Weisman were bound by government restrictions and could only tell a fraction of his incredible story. Now the tales he could not tell, the secrets he could not reveal explode in Rogue Warrior II: Red Cell - a riveting ne novel with Marcinko himself as the hero.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good story, but...
- By StreetMedic on 06-11-11
By: Richard Marcinko, and others
What listeners say about The Cheap Handyman
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- sabrinapuig
- 06-05-22
Father’s Day gift
I really love this book. It’s totally funny and I can relate to it. It’s a perfect Father’s Day gift
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