Jim Gaffigan: Quality Time
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Jim Gaffigan: Quality Time
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Narrated by:
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Jim Gaffigan
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By:
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Jim Gaffigan
About this listen
Jim Gaffigan is in top form for his seventh comedy special. The four-time Grammy nominated comedian doesn’t understand why we aren’t more honest about the reasons we don’t want to attend events, while at the same time embraces lying to kids. From horses and dog birthdays to traveling and museums, Jim continues to impress. Get ready to sit back and enjoy some Quality Time with Jim Gaffigan!
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-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 278
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 272
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 272
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,000
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,447
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,191
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
The Perfect Find
- By: Tia Williams
- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,590
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,466
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,463
Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
-
American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,259
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,662
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 4,670
Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
-
CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 144
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 141
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 141
He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
-
Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,309
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,889
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 3,880
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,427
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,879
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 15,813
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,188
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,054
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,050
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
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Bacon. McDonalds. Cinnabon. Hot Pockets. Kale. Stand-up comedian and author Jim Gaffigan has made his career rhapsodizing over the most treasured dishes of the American diet (“choking on bacon is like getting murdered by your lover”) and decrying the worst offenders (“kale is the early morning of foods”).
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2 out of 5 stars
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Haven't We Heard All of This Before?
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The Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Book
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- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Over eleven seasons and eighty-four episodes, Jerry Seinfeld drove around in classic cars, grabbing coffee and chatting with the funniest people alive. The result was not only a hilarious collection of casual yet intimate conversations but arguably the most important historical archive about the art of comedy ever amassed. Now that archive is preserved in the form of a carefully curated audiobook collection of excerpts from the show. Seinfeld has handpicked the show’s keenest insights and funniest exchanges.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Low quality phone recordings spliced together
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When Life Gives You Pears
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,236
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In an audiobook that is The Big Sick meets Dad Is Fat, Jeannie Gaffigan, writer/director/producer/accused supermom and wife of best-selling author/comedian Jim Gaffigan, writes with humor and heart about the pear-sized brain tumor she had removed, the toll it took on her enormous family, and the priceless lessons she learned along the way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thanks God for reminding me who is in control
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By: Jeannie Gaffigan
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Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama
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- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,339
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,054
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,042
Bob Odenkirk’s career is inexplicable. And yet he will try like hell to explicate it for you. Charting a “Homeric” decades-long “odyssey” from his origins in the seedy comedy clubs of Chicago to a dramatic career full of award nominations - with a side trip into the action-man world that is baffling to all who know him - it’s almost like there are many Bob Odenkirks! But there is just one and one is plenty. Featuring humorous tangents, wild characters, and Bob’s trademark unflinching drive, Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama is a classic tale told by a determined idiot.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not great
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Is This Anything?
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,949
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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1 out of 5 stars
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
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Dad Is Fat
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,585
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In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
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Bacon. McDonalds. Cinnabon. Hot Pockets. Kale. Stand-up comedian and author Jim Gaffigan has made his career rhapsodizing over the most treasured dishes of the American diet (“choking on bacon is like getting murdered by your lover”) and decrying the worst offenders (“kale is the early morning of foods”).
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2 out of 5 stars
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Haven't We Heard All of This Before?
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The Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Book
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- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Story4 out of 5 stars 93
Over eleven seasons and eighty-four episodes, Jerry Seinfeld drove around in classic cars, grabbing coffee and chatting with the funniest people alive. The result was not only a hilarious collection of casual yet intimate conversations but arguably the most important historical archive about the art of comedy ever amassed. Now that archive is preserved in the form of a carefully curated audiobook collection of excerpts from the show. Seinfeld has handpicked the show’s keenest insights and funniest exchanges.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Low quality phone recordings spliced together
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In an audiobook that is The Big Sick meets Dad Is Fat, Jeannie Gaffigan, writer/director/producer/accused supermom and wife of best-selling author/comedian Jim Gaffigan, writes with humor and heart about the pear-sized brain tumor she had removed, the toll it took on her enormous family, and the priceless lessons she learned along the way.
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Bob Odenkirk’s career is inexplicable. And yet he will try like hell to explicate it for you. Charting a “Homeric” decades-long “odyssey” from his origins in the seedy comedy clubs of Chicago to a dramatic career full of award nominations - with a side trip into the action-man world that is baffling to all who know him - it’s almost like there are many Bob Odenkirks! But there is just one and one is plenty. Featuring humorous tangents, wild characters, and Bob’s trademark unflinching drive, Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama is a classic tale told by a determined idiot.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not great
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Is This Anything?
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
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A Very Punchable Face
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,418
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,363
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
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Your Dad Stole My Rake
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 451
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 448
It’s hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live from Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa. How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre, inescapable behavior? Especially when you’re related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm audiobook that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Just didn't do it for me
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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,055
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Story5 out of 5 stars 9,010
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hot sauce is the best!
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George Carlin Reads to You
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,858
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,402
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,358
If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Like a Cast of Thousands
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Yes Please
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 47,368
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47,135
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Listen to this book for sure
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By: Amy Poehler
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You're Doing Great!
- And Other Reasons to Stay Alive
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 469
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 400
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Story5 out of 5 stars 398
Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked, and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we're not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems, and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you're doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Laughing While Walking Makes the Neighbors Think You're Crazy
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By: Tom Papa
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Brian Regan: Standing Up
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- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 23
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Story5 out of 5 stars 22
For this live standup special, Brian Regan shakes things up by bringing his signature high energy social commentary to Radio City Music Hall where he discusses aging, coolness, and confusing social situations.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Classic
- By Jen on 09-02-23
By: Brian Regan
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So Many Steves
- Afternoons with Steve Martin
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 229
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 184
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 184
Steve Martin met his good friend Adam Gopnik three decades ago, and in that time, Gopnik has always marveled at Martin’s ability to flourish in a wide variety of artforms: magic, comedy, art collecting, writing, and music. In So Many Steves: Afternoons with Steve Martin, New Yorker writer Adam Gopnik creates a new type of profile: a year’s worth of conversations with Martin where Gopnik pulls back the curtain on his friend’s illustrious career.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Perfection
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By: Steve Martin, and others
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Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
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- By: Maria Bamford
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,130
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,016
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,014
Maria Bamford is a comedian’s comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it. In Bamford’s “trademark blend of disarming intimacy and dark whimsy” (Publishers Weekly), Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult brings us on a quest to participate in something.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and sincere
- By B. Bazzell on 09-06-23
By: Maria Bamford
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Last Words
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- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 835
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 649
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 646
As one of America's preeminent comedic voices, George Carlin saw it all throughout his extraordinary 50-year career and made fun of most of it. Last Words is the story of the man behind some of the most seminal comedy of the last half century, blending his signature acer-bic humor with never-before-told stories from his own life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Outstanding insight... Well read
- By AskJoe.TV on 01-10-12
By: George Carlin
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I Must Say
- My Life as a Humble Comedy Legend
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- Narrated by: Martin Short
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,872
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,276
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,243
Martin Short takes you on a rich, hilarious, and occasionally heartbreaking ride through his life and times, from his early years in Toronto as a member of the fabled improvisational troupe Second City to the all-American comic big time of Saturday Night Live and memorable roles in movies such as ¡Three Amigos! and Father of the Bride.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
This is what audio books were made for!
- By Ty Brady on 11-06-14
By: Martin Short
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,427
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,879
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,813
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
What listeners say about Jim Gaffigan: Quality Time
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 05-21-22
"Still the king of comedy"
jim is a genius, there is never enough to listen to. Coming from a big family I get the all the jokes because they're all true! Keep on keeping on!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- kbaker
- 12-18-19
Very funny! I love Jim Gaffigan!
I love how Jim can make ordinary things so amusing, and without feeling the need to be pointlessly vulgar.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kelly
- 01-10-20
Best show that was ever made
Jim gaffgain is the best comedian ever so I makes me laugh 😑🥰😘On my way jim
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- v
- 07-07-20
Hilarious
Jim Gaffigan is one of the funnest living comedians. He’s genuinely entertaining and doesn’t need to resort to crass language!
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Karyn Myers
- 08-08-21
Very funny
One of his bests! I really enjoyed this! It is very fun! I recommend this.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Debra Batiste
- 10-31-22
JG
Enjoyed It a lot. very entertaining. love it when he talks about the wife and kids.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 05-18-20
Loved Quality Time
Jim Gaffigan never fails to entertain! His stories are engaging and funny. Very relatable. Amazing.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jacob Barela
- 05-11-20
Loving this Jim Gaffigan
But horses really? LOL just kidding thankd for the laughs Jim you are a rare talent. I mean that in a good way. Your wife has to be a special lady.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Angela Martin
- 04-09-24
Quality time
I liked the Jim Gaffigan album a lot. It wasn’t the best one he has made but it’s still a really awesome book.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dee B
- 04-15-21
Hilarious!
Loved every minute of it. Funny and clever. Will definitely recommend it to my friends and family.
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