Someone Other than a Mother
Tearing Up the Social Scripts and Rewriting a Life Well-Lived
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Someone Other than a Mother
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Narrated by:
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Erin S. Lane
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By:
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Erin Lane
About this listen
Theologian Erin S. Lane overturns dominant narratives about motherhood and inspires women to write their own stories.
Is it possible to do something more meaningful than mothering?
As a young Catholic girl who grew up in the American Midwest on white bread and Jesus, Erin S. Lane was given two options for a life well-lived: Mother or Mother Superior. She could marry a man and mother her own children, or she could marry God, so to speak, and mother the world’s children. Both were good outcomes for someone else’s life. Neither would fit the shape of hers.
Interweaving Lane’s story with those of other women—including singles and couples, stepparents and foster parents, the infertile and the ambivalent—Someone Other Than a Mother challenges the social scripts that put moms on an impossible pedestal and shame childless women and nontraditional families for not measuring up. You may have heard these lines before:
- “Motherhood is the toughest job.” This script diminishes the work of non-moms and pressures moms to make parenting their full-time gig.
- “It’ll be different with your own.” This script underestimates the love of nonbiological kin and pushes unfair expectations onto nuclear families.
- “Family is the greatest legacy.” This script turns children into the ultimate sign of a woman’s worth and discounts the quieter ways we leave our mark.
With candor and verve, Someone Other Than a Mother tears up the shaming social scripts that are bad for moms and non-moms alike and rewrites the story of a life well-lived, one in which purpose is bigger than body parts, identity is fuller than offspring, and legacy is so much more than DNA.
©2022 Erin Lane (P)2022 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4 out of 5 stars 151
One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Committed
- A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,488
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,722
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,713
At the end of her best-selling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Perfect timing
- By Nancy on 01-15-10
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Shanda
- A Memoir of Shame and Secrecy
- By: Letty Cottin Pogrebin
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
The word "shanda" is defined as shame or disgrace in Yiddish. This book, Shanda, tells the story of three generations of complicated, intense twentieth-century Jews for whom the desire to fit in and the fear of public humiliation either drove their aspirations or crushed their spirit. In her deeply engaging, astonishingly candid memoir, author and activist Letty Cottin Pogrebin exposes the fiercely-guarded lies and intricate cover-ups woven by dozens of members of her extended family.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautifully Written!
- By Adele Aron Greenspun on 01-12-23
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Pure
- Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
- By: Linda Kay Klein
- Narrated by: Linda Kay Klein
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 718
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 633
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 632
In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls - resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - and trapped them in a cycle of shame.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I expected a different ending I suppose
- By Military Dad on 12-12-18
By: Linda Kay Klein
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Modern Loss
- Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome.
- By: Rebecca Soffer, Gabrielle Birkner
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Josh Bloomberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it's clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let's face it: Most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We're awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not What I Was Expecting
- By Bessie Mae on 03-01-23
By: Rebecca Soffer, and others
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 120
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
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Story4 out of 5 stars 102
It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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My Two Moms
- Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family
- By: Zach Wahls, Bruce Littlefield
- Narrated by: Kris Koscheski
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 53
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 47
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 46
On January 31, 2011, Zach Wahls addressed the Iowa House Judiciary Committee in a public forum regarding civil unions. The 19-year-old son of a same-sex couple, Wahls proudly proclaimed, "The sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character." Hours later, his speech was posted on YouTube, where it went viral, quickly receiving more than two million views. By the end of the week, everyone knew his name and wanted to hear more from the boy with two moms.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You will not regret listening to this.
- By V. Brown on 06-07-12
By: Zach Wahls, and others
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 62,378
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54,069
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53,787
As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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3 out of 5 stars
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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Raising World Changers in a Changing World
- How One Family Discovered the Beauty of Sacrifice and the Joy of Giving
- By: Kristen Welch
- Narrated by: Jaimee Draper
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
Almost any parent you asked would tell you that they want their children to be happy, successful adults. But many of us forget (or never knew to begin with) that lasting personal joy is not necessarily found the way the world says it is - through reaching a certain socioeconomic status, having a certain job, buying a certain house, or having a certain amount in one's bank account. In fact, says Kristen Welch, author of Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, personal satisfaction comes not from grabbing onto things but from holding them with an open hand and, very often, giving them away.
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3 out of 5 stars
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wasn't expecting the Jesus
- By Kitty kat on 12-01-19
By: Kristen Welch
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The Faith Club
- A Muslim, A Christian, A Jew - Three Women Search for Understanding
- By: Ranya Idliby, Suzanne Oliver, Priscilla Warner
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 106
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 94
After September 11, Ranya Idliby, an American Muslim of Palestinian descent, faced constant questions about Islam, God, and death from her children, the only Muslims in their classrooms. Inspired by a story about Muhammad, Ranya reached out to two other mothers to write an interfaith children's book that would highlight the connections between Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wow I'm so glad I read this. I had no idea.
- By Michelle Pierce on 05-06-15
By: Ranya Idliby, and others
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Chicken Soup for the Soul - Find Your Happiness
- 101 Inspirational Stories about Finding Your Purpose, Passion, and Joy
- By: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen
- Narrated by: Cynthia Barrett
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 50
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4 out of 5 stars 42
What makes you happy? Others share how they found their passion, purpose, and joy in life in these 101 personal and exciting stories that are sure to inspire and encourage listeners to find their own happiness. Chicken Soup for the Soul: Find Your Happiness will encourage listeners to pursue their dreams, find their passion and seek joy in their life with its 101 personal and inspiring stories. This book continues Chicken Soup for the Soul’s focus on inspiration and hope, reminding us that we all can find our own happiness.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I got even more depressed
- By Tom on 09-08-14
By: Jack Canfield, and others
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Mother Daughter Me
- A Memoir
- By: Katie Hafner
- Narrated by: Katie Hafner
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 55
The complex, deeply binding relationship between mothers and daughters is brought vividly to life in Katie Hafner's remarkable memoir, an exploration of the year she and her mother, Helen, spent working through, and triumphing over, a lifetime of unresolved emotions. Dreaming of a "year in Provence" with her mother, Katie urges Helen to move to San Francisco to live with her and Zoe, Katie's teenage daughter. Katie and Zoe had become a mother-daughter team, strong enough, Katie thought, to absorb the arrival of a 77-year-old woman set in her ways....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Listen and be swept away!
- By Barbara Quick on 06-02-22
By: Katie Hafner
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My Sisters the Saints
- A Spiritual Memoir
- By: Colleen Carroll Campbell
- Narrated by: Susan Hanfield
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 101
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Story5 out of 5 stars 86
In My Sisters the Saints, author Colleen Carroll Campbell blends her personal narrative of spiritual seeking, trials, stumbles, and breakthroughs with the stories of six women saints who profoundly changed her life: Teresa of Avila, Therese of Lisieux, Faustina of Poland, Edith Stein of Germany, Mother Teresa of Calcutta, and Mary of Nazareth. Drawing upon the rich writings and examples of these extraordinary women, the author reveals Christianity's liberating power for women and the relevance of the saints to the lives of contemporary Christians.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautifully written and sincere
- By mamabakineer on 01-23-20
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Addicted to Busy
- Recovery for the Rushed Soul
- By: Brady Boyd
- Narrated by: Wes Bleed
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 76
Are you busier than you want to be? Than you need to be? Than you are meant to be? It's time to break busy. We are all spread too thin, taking on more than we can handle, trying to do so much - almost as if we are afraid that if we were to take a moment of rest, we might discover that all our busyness is covering up an essential lack in our lives. But God never meant for us to be so busy. God desires for us peace.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Speeding up to slow down... :)
- By Angie Monroe on 10-03-16
By: Brady Boyd
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Women Rowing North
- By: Mary Pipher
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 539
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 459
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Story4 out of 5 stars 456
Women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny and loss. Yet as Mary Pipher shows, most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their struggles help them grow into the authentic, empathetic and wise people they have always wanted to be. In Women Rowing North, Pipher offers a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face as they age.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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Ordinary Light
- A Memoir
- By: Tracy K. Smith
- Narrated by: Tracy K. Smith
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 182
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 163
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Story4 out of 5 stars 162
Tracy K. Smith has a fairly typical upbringing in suburban California: the youngest in a family of five children raised with limitless affection and a firm belief in God by a stay-at-home mother and an engineer father. But after spending a summer in Alabama at her grandmother's home, she returns to California with a new sense of what it means for her to be Black: from her mother's memories of picking cotton as a girl in her father's field for pennies a bushel to her parents' involvement in the Civil Rights Movement.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Simply spoken - poetic
- By CarolynneRHarris on 04-27-15
By: Tracy K. Smith
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Love, InshAllah
- The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women
- By: Ayesha Mattu, Nura Maznavi
- Narrated by: Lameece Issaq, Piper Goodeve, Lauren Fortgang, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 56
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
Romance, dating, sex and - Muslim women? In this groundbreaking collection, 25 American Muslim writers sweep aside stereotypes to share their search for love openly for the first time, showing just how varied the search for love can be - from singles' events and online dating, to college flirtations and arranged marriages, all with a uniquely Muslim twist. These compelling stories of love and romance create an irresistible balance of heart-warming and tantalizing, always revealing and deeply relatable.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sex, Love, & Feminism, in the Muslim Women's World
- By Susie on 03-06-13
By: Ayesha Mattu, and others
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The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
- Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity
- By: Meg Meeker M.D.
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 140
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 117
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Story4 out of 5 stars 117
Friendship. Simplicity. Love. Value. Faith. Solitude. Money. Fear. Hope. Purpose. Dr. Meg Meeker has seen mothers struggle with these 10 issues for the past 25 years, and she has also learned how to help them live less stressful, happier, more fulfilling lives. The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers will show women how to reduce loneliness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem by inspiring women to embrace more positive emotions and habits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Recommend the book but had hard time listening to
- By Kaletra Dispennett on 12-25-16
By: Meg Meeker M.D.
What listeners say about Someone Other than a Mother
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 05-11-22
I needed to hear this story.
My story is similar to Erin's, yet different. I am involuntarily childless, infertile. I was so depressed because I could not have biological children. I adopted at 52. I now don't like being called mom. Godmother is the title I like best. Her story resonated with me because I too believed I was not a real or complete woman because I didn't have children due to the narrative that is spoonfed to women our whole lives. I felt like God sent this book to my suggestions list to know that there are others who feel as I do. Yes, it is time to flip the script!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 05-07-22
Everyone should read this!
If you are a human being, this book is relevant to you. Erin Lane is thoughtful, generous, and her narration is perfect.
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