How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

By: Jancee Dunn

Narrated by: Jancee Dunn

A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice.

How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the "expert" at changing a diaper?

Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child.

Enter Jancee, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today.

On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation". Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate - and rebuild - your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children.

Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.

©2017 Jancee Dunn (P)2017 Hachette Audio

Critic reviews

"Jancee Dunn blends marital advice from real experts with her down to earth folksy wit in Hot Not to Hate Husband After Kids. If your husband has a better relationship with his phone than he does with his baby, you need to hit him with this book - and then ask him to read it." (Jen Mann, New York Times best-selling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat)

"Part memoir, part self-help book, Jancee Dunn's How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids offers relationship research combined with personal anecdotes. Strategies learned from therapists, friends, and even an FBI hostage negotiator help Dunn heal her marriage - and set a good example for her kid." ( Real Simple)

"This book is a very valuable addition to the whole huge transition to becoming parents. This book can help preserve the greatest gift you will ever give your baby: a loving relationship between the baby's parents." (John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work)

Must listen for all new parents

I downloaded this book after an argument with my husband. He told me he was going to go outside and start the grill and didn’t come back for two hours. Meanwhile, I was inside entertaining our ten month old and growing ever more resentful. Why was I the default caregiver while he came and went as he pleased? When I complained, he wanted to know why I didn’t ask for help? And in return, I wanted to know why I had to ask.

This book goes into all of that and more. I downloaded it the next morning, took the dog for a walk, and peed my pants laughing about a mile from my house. Darn those pelvic floor issues. Since then, I’ve recommended it to all my friends and my nine month pregnant sister who is already complaining about her husband.

This book is not about bashing men. It could be re-titled “How Not to Hate Your Partner...” It helped me understand how I was contributing to our issues as new parents through poor communication and the inabiiity to communicate my needs. There is lots of actionable advice within the content, and I appreciated the mix of anecdotes and research.

Every mom needs to read this!

I’m a psychotherapist, so I have learned a lot of self-improvement information already. But this author definitely helped me improve my relationship and have major realizations and breakthroughs.

Marriage after kids is such a specialized and neglected topic in my opinion. It’s not just about marriage, but the added challenges to the marriage relationship itself after having kids. I’ve recommended this book to all my mom friends, to be moms, and clients.
I love her humor and writing style too. Well done Jancee!

Read it anyway

Even if you don’t love the title and even if your kids are teens like mine, read it anyway. Very helpful, practical and immediately implementable suggestions will bring more peace to your house and yourself, if you are anything like me - which is to say - human and in a relationship.

Mandatory for new parents!

Listen with your spouse. It’s a lifesaver. Research based tips to help your partnership stay strong!

Affirming

This really did help my husband and I get on the same page after having our first. I highly recommend it as a read even for couples without kids.

Much needed advice

The first few chapters are going to make you even more mad at your spouse, honestly!! But keep listening. Jancee gives lots of advice to help you and your partner “get on the same page” without beheading each other.

Practical advice for modern family

Loved the book, took notes and will read again to take more notes I may have missed while listening. This book feels like it has compiled all the best marriage and parenting books/advice into one consolidated handbook. So many great tips on strategically finding a rhythm in your marriage within the chaos of raising kids and managing a household.

gift from my husband

Such a wonderful book. learned so much. Thank you. "Marriage is a institution, functions better when running well" loved this

So good! love this book I can relate so much!

This book was such an eye opener for me! I can relate to it so much and took away alot of valuable information! It made me laugh so much too!

Life-changing

Thank you, Jancee (and Tom too for offering some great material), for this insightful, humorous, real world account of how to navigate through the challenges facing modern marriages after the kids come along. I will probably re-listen to this often as a reminder to prioritize my marriage, even in small ways. This material had a major hand in saving my marriage, and it was even more humorous and realistic to hear the material read directly by the author. This is the best book! If you are questioning it, just get it, and you will not be sorry. I have recommended it to all of my mama friends.