Safe

A Memoir of Fatherhood, Foster Care, and the Risks We Take for Family

By: Mark Daley

Narrated by: Mark Daley

“If you want a lifechanging book, this is the one to read.” —The View

“A truly revealing” (Hillary Clinton) memoir of an unlikely journey to parenthood through America’s broken foster care system.

What does it take to keep a child safe?

As a long-time strategist and activist fighting for better outcomes for foster children, Mark Daley thought he knew the answer. But when Ethan and Logan, an adorable infant and a precocious toddler, entered their lives, Mark and his husband Jason quickly realized they were not remotely prepared for the uncertainty and complication of foster parenting.

Every day seven hundred children enter the foster care system in the United States, and thousands more live on the brink. Safe offers a deeply personal and “riveting” (Booklist) window into what happens when the universal longing for family crashes up against the unique madness and bureaucracy of a child protection system that often fails to consider the needs of the most vulnerable parties of all—the children themselves.

Daley takes us on a roller-coaster ride as he and Jason grapple with Ethan and Logan’s potential reunification with their biological family, learn brutal lessons about sacrifice, acceptance, and healing, and face the honest, heartbreaking, and sometimes hilarious challenges of becoming a parent at the intersection of intergenerational trauma, inadequate social support, and systemic issues of prejudice.

For fans of Nicole Chung’s All You Can Ever Know, Stephanie Land’s Maid, and Roxanna Asgarian’s We Were Once a Family, Safe is “a strong indictment of a failed child welfare system, but with an unexpectedly happy ending that speaks to the power of love” (Kirkus Reviews).

©2024 Mark Daley (P)2024 Simon & Schuster Audio

One of the best books I've read in years

This book is deeply rich with humor and love as the author navigates loss and the impossibility of the U.S. foster care system. Turning trauma and heartbreak into the beautiful family he has now, the author's voice shines through as if you're sitting at his kitchen table or having a martini on a parent's night out. It's a book I didn't want to end as I laughed through tears, and walked away ready to fight for a better system for all kids who deserve loving, SAFE homes.

A must

From the beginning I was captivated by the love, devotion, heartache and emotion Mark brought us. The vulnerability and personal choices made by and for them was felt in every word. Their journey through the foster care system. The struggles and the wins brought this story to life. He opens a world to a part of life some will never endure.

“The system was defective, and we were hostages to its incompetence.”

Mark and Jason’s journey to grow their family had me turning every page in hopes their dreams come true. Safe offers a foster parent’s perspective that illuminates the injustices children experience within the welfare system. “This case demonstrates how strain on county workers harm the well-being of the very children they’re charged to protect” (p. 195). Mark Daley’s, Safe was introduced to me at the 2024 Tucson Festival of Books. Daley was a panelist for the topic, Heavy Lifting of Social Reform.

Heartfelt!

The way Mark articulated his journey made me feel like I was present! You could feel the emotion and empathize with him. Thank you for sharing how you navigated your life as foster parents and so happy that you were able to adopt and give the love that you both shard to those three beautiful little humans who deserve parents like you and Jason.

Don’t let fear strangle love

I’ve been a social worker for over thirty years and appreciated your accuracy and insight into the love, losses, challenges and unity human spirits endure. Your words captured my heart. Your experiences reminded me of the work, pain and on occasion joy of reuniting and uniting children to their families. The struggle to do what is the best for our little child souls is real. You are a warrior. Continue to lead and share. Truly an inspiration. Thank you.

Impossible to Put Down

I listened to this in a day. I laughed, raged, and ugly cried. Mark has an easy way with words…I felt like I was with a friend, listening to their journey.

Such a vulnerable and honest story of love, grief, empathy, and joy. But it’s so much more. Pushing through and finding joy in life, when it feels like there is none left is so powerful. I feel that Mark and Jason’s compassion and patience has helped me grow into a better person, or at least it better.

This is a great read for anyone experiencing love and loss. But I would definitely recommend to anyone looking into adoption or foster care…or even parenthood. No, I would recommend this to anyone. We all would be better to learn from Mark and his family’s journey.

This personal story I will never ever forget.

Depiction of fostering

This story hits home, me and my husband entering foster care knew our hearts would be torn into pieces but we thrived for a family and knew along the way was were open minded about reunification. Today we have fostered 9 kids in the past 4 yrs and we have yet to feel heart ache like our latest child. We are victims to a flawed system amongst many families who chose to help the children in need. Mark and Jason’s story reminded us that we need to figure out how to aide the decency court systems and the social workers to better assist with the children who suffers the most from the lack of information given to us when we decide on whether or not they are a fit to our house hold. My husband is now looking into non profit organizations who can maybe assist the individuals from bio parents, social workers, the court systems and the foster families involved in this intricate decision making of fostering a child or children. I absolutely loved this story because it’s literally what we are going through !

So much love and support to give.

The authors ability to tell his story is raw and loving at the same time. I cried and laughed and sometimes shook my head when hearing how the different agencies screwed up at times. If I could have given this book and author ten stars I would! Reading or listening is a must!

safe

this book should be shared with anyone who is thinking about fostering. The foster care system is unfortunately broken. the life's of the child are raw and many times the children need alot of services.
I buy no means think that people shouldn't foster but they should look at it from a place of real and challenging experiences.
thank you

the author's reading was so good! he drew me in from the get go.

this book was amazing. I finished it in less than a day. captivating, heartbreaking and joy filled.