Punpkins for Cheap
A Grotesque Horror, Novelette
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Punpkins for Cheap
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Narrated by:
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Ronald Young
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By:
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Sea Caummisar
About this listen
Just in time for Halloween! Trick or treat?
The first story is the trick.
The second story is the treat.
Punpkins for Cheap
This book should never be listened to by anyone. It's gross and immature. It's almost as if a small child wrote it. If you enjoy poorly written dark humor, you might like this book. I mean, there's a chapter titled "Tampons Are Not Yummy". So use your imagination as to what kind of story this is.
This book will get bad reviews (if anyone ever listens to it). I expect that. If I had to review it, I would say it was the dumbest book I have ever heard/wrote. However, it does make me laugh. (Oh yeah, it's kinda gross too.) At least it's short.
Plus, it could be scary. What if maggots evolved and wanted to take over the world? A maggot has invaded Jimbo's brain. The maggot has plans to make baby maggots and sell them inside jack-o-lanterns.
Plus a bonus story titled "Them Bones".
"Them Bones" is the most disturbing story I have ever written. It is true body horror! Probably one of the most twisted and bloodiest stories I have ever written. No spoilers, but it's about a man who falls in love with a skeleton. The skeleton asks him to make her pretty.
Proceed with caution.
Mature audiences only two extreme short stories.
©2019 Sea Caummisar (P)2020 Sea CaummisarListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 101
From the outside, Frank and Grace seem to have the perfect family. He’s a loving husband, she’s a devoted wife, and together they have two happy children. But appearances can be deceiving. A strange series of misfortunes has left them reeling: an unexplained break-in, a catastrophic handgun accident, and a bizarre poisoning that’s left Grace feeling especially unnerved. Packing up their RV for a move across the country, they’re ready for a fresh start, expecting to leave all their problems safely behind.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good syuff
- By Kindle V C on 10-12-19
By: Paul Pen, and others
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Autobiography of a Fat Bride
- True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 51
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4 out of 5 stars 44
In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious
- By MissSusie66 on 05-10-12
By: Laurie Notaro
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Death Becomes Her [Dramatized Adaptation]
- The Kurtherian Gambit, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: full cast, Colleen Delany, Emily Beresford, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 245
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 222
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 222
There is more in our world than you know. Deep in the darkness of a government building, one man needs to find the perfect solution to a vampire’s request that the government satisfy the debt of honor owed him. If he falls short, the failure will be paid in the blood of the military. He needs three uniquely qualified individuals. He can find only one. One woman, dying, might be the ace-in-the-hole he needs to appease the Vampire. But then, she might also be the one person needed to save humanity. If she is accepted, will she willingly change?
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5 out of 5 stars
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great adaptation
- By Michael Mason on 11-02-20
By: Michael Anderle
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Godshot
- A Novel
- By: Chelsea Bieker
- Narrated by: Lauren Ezzo
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 180
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 162
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Story4 out of 5 stars 162
Drought has settled on the town of Peaches, California. The area of the Central Valley where fourteen-year-old Lacey May and her alcoholic mother live was once an agricultural paradise. Now it's an environmental disaster, a place of cracked earth and barren raisin farms. In their desperation, residents have turned to a cult leader named Pastor Vern for guidance. He promises, through secret "assignments," to bring the rain everybody is praying for.
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4 out of 5 stars
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flawless novel, not the best narration
- By Adrienne on 05-05-20
By: Chelsea Bieker
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Light from Other Stars
- A Novel
- By: Erika Swyler
- Narrated by: Kyla Garcia
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Eleven-year-old Nedda Papas is obsessed with becoming an astronaut. In 1986 in Easter, a small Florida Space Coast town, her dreams seem almost within reach - if she can just grow up fast enough. Theo, the scientist father she idolizes, is consumed by his own obsessions. Laid off from his job at NASA and still reeling from the loss of Nedda's newborn brother several years before, Theo turns to the dangerous dream of extending his living daughter's childhood just a little longer. The result is an invention that alters the fabric of time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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How does she do it?
- By BLF on 07-30-19
By: Erika Swyler
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Booked for the Holidays
- By: Liz Maverick
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky, Andrew Eiden
- Length: 3 hrs and 41 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 324
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 317
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 317
When mystery author D. B. Ziegler is late delivering her book, Abi Schore steps in to help. Surely she can give her favorite author moral support over the holiday break and get the manuscript to her boss at Tea & Sympathy Publishing in time for the new year. When Abi shows up on Ms. Ziegler’s doorstep bearing holiday treats, she’s met by the author’s handsome grandson Dov, who reveals a startling plot twist. His grandmother isn’t able to finish the book and Dov promised he’d complete it so fans won’t be disappointed—a task that’s harder than he ever imagined.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a gem!
- By Joanna N. on 11-14-24
By: Liz Maverick
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George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,081
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 7,691
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,690
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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Dead Med
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso, Scott Merriman
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 769
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 750
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 750
When Heather McKinley dreamed of becoming a doctor, she imagined curing sick kids and sporting pink stethoscopes. She never anticipated the sleepless nights, grueling exams, and endless labs. And she certainly never knew that her medical school earned the nickname Dead Med thanks to the tragic history of students overdosing on illegal drugs. But Heather would never consider doing anything like that. That is, until her longtime boyfriend dumps her, she finds herself failing anatomy, and her world starts to crumble.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Hmm
- By Morgan Meaux on 08-22-24
By: Freida McFadden
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Mr. and Mrs. Christmas
- By: Michelle Stimpson
- Narrated by: Marcella Cox, Ian Hackney
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 53
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
There's no place like home for the holidays ... especially for Lesley Carver. Life in the big city just wasn't her jam and now she's back in Hickory Falls, working at the family diner and helping her mom after she took a tumble. Lesley longs to build a life here, working at the cafe, selling her handmade ornaments and ... er, apparently reviving her high school crush on her best friend’s older brother. Only one problem, her mom wants her to leave Hickory Falls far behind.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved the book!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-15-24
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Holiday Hideaway
- A Short Story
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 1 hr and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 248
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 240
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 240
Tilly Farriday isn’t feeling very jolly this season. Recently divorced and broke, she’s squatting in one of her rental agency’s properties until her new home is ready. The sprinkles on top of the burnt Christmas cookie that is her life? The new owner shows up early, forcing Tilly to hide in the attic to save her job…and what remains of her dignity.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-31-24
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 41,403
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34,285
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33,866
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Fred271 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
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Technically Speaking
- By: Michael Elliot
- Narrated by: Coco Jones, Keith Powers, Queen Latifah, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,244
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,229
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,229
Oakland-bred LaVeesha “Vee” Gilliam (Coco Jones) is a determined single mother of an autistic son and a gifted aspiring coder. When Vee loses her job as a food-services worker at the onsite restaurant at Grapengine, a large Silicon Valley tech company, she’s unable to pay for her son’s much-needed specialized education. By a twist of fate, mistaken identity, and her tech skills, Vee meets Troy Wilson (Keith Powers), the company’s wealthy founder and CEO and a wunderkind in the tech industry, who believes that Vee is a college-educated techie who works at his company.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Overdue Diverse Representation in Tech!
- By Jatai Pollock on 09-26-24
By: Michael Elliot
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Fahrenheit 451
- By: Ray Bradbury
- Narrated by: Tim Robbins
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32,582
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28,998
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28,953
Guy Montag is a fireman. In his world, where television rules and literature is on the brink of extinction, firemen start fires rather than put them out. His job is to destroy the most illegal of commodities, the printed book, along with the houses in which they are hidden. Montag never questions the destruction and ruin his actions produce, returning each day to his bland life and wife, Mildred, who spends all day with her television "family."
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4 out of 5 stars
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Wish I Hadn't Cliff Noted This in High School
- By Joel on 03-27-17
By: Ray Bradbury
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Ghost Stories: Stephen Fry's Definitive Collection
- By: Stephen Fry, Washington Irving, M.R. James, and others
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 636
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 546
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 546
As the days grow shorter and the temperature drops, Halloween approaches. Come, brave listener, pull up a chair, and spend some time with master storyteller Stephen Fry as he tells us some of his favourite ghost stories of all time, in truly terrifying spatial audio. From the headless horseman of Sleepy Hollow to the tortured spirits of M.R. James, from Edgar Allan Poe’s terrifying tale of a doppelganger to Charlotte Riddell’s Open Door that should definitely stay shut, join Stephen as he tells you some truly terrifying tales.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful narration. Mediocre stories.
- By Michael Fuchs on 11-07-23
By: Stephen Fry, and others
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Brain Damage
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Megan Tusing
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,910
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,796
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,795
As Charly struggles to recover from her brain injury, she begins to realize that the events of that fateful night are trapped in the damaged right side of her brain. Now, she must put the jigsaw pieces together to discover the identity of the man who tried to kill her...before he finishes the job he started.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Who Else Laughed, Cried, and Shuddered?
- By Jennifer Chichester on 09-16-22
By: Freida McFadden
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Slayers: A Buffyverse Story
- By: Christopher Golden, Amber Benson
- Narrated by: Amber Benson, Charisma Carpenter, James Charles Leary, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,775
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,575
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,574
Original cast members from the beloved TV series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, reunite for an all-new adventure about connections that never die—even if you bury them. A decade has passed since the epic final battle that concluded Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV). The game-changing spell that gave power to all potential Slayers persists. With new Slayers constantly emerging, things are looking grim for the bad guys.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A dream come true
- By Anonymous User on 10-12-23
By: Christopher Golden, and others
What listeners say about Punpkins for Cheap
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Becky
- 02-07-23
Gross and Discusting
Don't let the title - Punpkins - make you think this is a Halloween story for kids. It is not. A maggot taking over a live body. Planning to take over the world. Gross. Then the bonus story. A cop falls in love with a plastic skeleton and wants to make her happy any way she wants.
I listened to Audible version of this book. The narrator presented it very well.
It's funny. It's gross. It's disgusting. It's so entertaining. Thank goodness it's short.
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