Parsnips, Buttered

Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time

By: Joe Lycett

Narrated by: Joe Lycett

In this book I have attempted to solve each and every one of life's problems. And I have succeeded.

Dear Listener,

Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips.

Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.

While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.

I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Listener. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners, jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished listening to this book you will have learnt how to:

• Reverse a parking fine
• Manipulate the tabloid press
• Navigate social media
• Respond to hate mail
• Out-weird Internet trolls
• Contest a so-called ripe avocado
• Send the perfect Christmas newsletter
• Defeat ISIS
• Take down multinational companies

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Joe Lycett x

* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, health care or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

©2016 Joe Lycett (P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton

Very entertaining!

Anyone who enjoys British humor ought to enjoy Joe’s book. His performance is perfect and makes the book 100 times more enjoyable. If you like light-hearted comedy and some ridiculous ‘one liner’ jokes, you’d probably enjoy this one.

I Lycett!

Joe Lycett never disappoints. His style of internet trolling is second to none. It's what I like to call "splendid f**kery" and Joe is a master.

I like Joe Lycett

I think Joe is very funny. I enjoyed the book, but I was sorry that he had no mention of Sarah Millican, when she had such a delightful story about him in her book "How to be Champion" (available on Audible).

Same jokes, but never dull.

I could listen to Joe Lycett talk all day! The narration is top-tier. I would definitely listen to him read other audiobooks. Unfortunately, this book contains the same material as his stand up. There's nothing new. During his stand up, his use of visual aids really elevates the jokes. You don't get to experience them with an audiobook. It was still good, just not what I was expecting.

Hilarious

Hilarious, very happy I bought it. I’ll be writing some emails shortly. Thanks Joe Lycett.

Funny!

Joe’s book, like his stand-up…is funny, witty, always a pleasure to listen to, and chock full of life hacks and great ideas!! Hope you are well!
Thanks Joe!

Amazing, truly

I own this book in paperback form as well as audiobook. The fact that Joe Lycett himself reads it makes it hilarious and easy to get into. Joe Lycett is a brilliant British comedian and I hope to see more from him soon. If you like British comedy or just enjoy a guy writing emails to mess with people then this book is for you. Buy it now to listen to!

Hilarious

Love being a moron? Joe is your natural leader. Perfect antidote to Trump winning the election

LMFAO

This book kept me laughing so hard, I actually had to stop listening to it a work after I choked and spit my coffee at my computer screen, because I laughed so hard. I love Joe Lycett he is the best comedian EVER!!

As funny as ever

It’s like listening to one of his stand up shows, very entertaining! Hearing it in his own voice, makes it all the better!