I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

Essays

De: Tom Segura

Narrado por: Tom Segura

From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.

Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.

In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.

I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have listeners laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2022 Tom Segura (P)2022 Grand Central Publishing

Better then the bible!

Love all the sound bites! He reads it so well! I can't wait for the next book.

Pee my jeans funny!

Unless you are deaf, you should 100% buy the audiobook!!! Hearing him read his own words elevates the comedy to a new level of hilarity 🤣

Outstanding as always!

It’s great to hear a bit more of Tom on a personal level. I’ve been waiting for this book to release for a while now and I couldn’t be more happy with it. Love the stories about Top Dawg especially. Having recently lost a parent too, it was nice to hear Tom reminisce about his times with his Dad.

Great book

Tommy bunz hits out of the park with this one. R.I.P. Top Dog, A1 steak sauce is the best!

Jeans!

This is a great listen , Daddy Jeans makes it so much fun to listen to. It’s great , highly recommended! Tom tells great stories.

Tommy Buns crushes EVERYTHING

I’ve always loved Tom’s dry sense of humor that I’ve become accustomed to from his stand up and podcast, but to see and hear these stories in more depth that what he’s mentioned on other mediums proves just how phenomenal of a writer he is. Great work, Jeans!

Scrum

I’ve always been a huge fan of Todd’s work. Both his insights and comedic delivery in this audiobook are just delightful. To anyone who may be on the fence about purchasing this title, I say TRY IT OUT!

YMH references aside, Tom Segura truly is a master of his craft.

Deep dive into one of my favorite comics

I’ve been a fan of Toms since his first special. His comedy and general mindset aline with my own so I thought I’d give his book a listen. I definitely wasn’t disappointed. This book was a deep dive into Toms childhood and followed his experiences that stood out to him as he progressed into who he is today. It was interesting, sad but over all hilarious. I really enjoyed it and feel that much more in tune with my favorite comic of all time. Good job Tommy buns

-Hunter Smith

If you like Swedish supermodels you’re going to love this book

As a fan already in tune with the comedy of “senior segura”, as the French would say, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. From the touching tribute to his late father to the half dead motorcyclist subpoena situation, I can’t say enough good things. I would compare the delight of hearing Tom narrate to being high in the Italian alps with all of your favorite people surrounding you as they send your lifeless body careening down the Bert white snow to eventually meet your final resting place as is gypsy tradition. As was your request of course. Just wonderful. Thank you Tom.

Wild ride! Very entertaining narration! Must read!

I watch Tom's podcast and specials and heard some of the stories but not like he narrates them in this book! The book is so entertaining, especially when speaking about family upbringing, desire to be great and find your place in the world, drive for athleticism and all the injuries!! Stories are awe inspiring and Tom tells it where you feel like you were there. I highly recommend, best narration from an author yet!