My Vampire Boyfriend Sucks
Sucking Dead, Book 2
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My Vampire Boyfriend Sucks
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Narrated by:
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Rachel Woods
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Luke Parker
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By:
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Andie M. Long
About this listen
One minute I’m running a cupcake café and the next someone is trying to kill me!
Enter the attractive, but heavily conceited vampire who I once mistakenly went on a disastrous date with. He has a deal I can’t refuse. I can either a) fake date him and he can be my 24-hour bodyguard or b) I can probably die.
It’s a tough choice given how much I detest him, but I plump for staying alive.
So now Lawrie is a permanent fixture in Gnarly Fell and I’m in a race against time to find out who wants me dead. Because vampires live a hell of a long time, and this situation already sucks.
Just like my fake boyfriend.
Welcome to Gnarly Fell, where Death lingers just outside the village (with his girlfriend).
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 235
An achingly funny story from the author of the best-selling You Had Me at Hello. When Edie is caught in a compromising position at her colleagues' wedding, all the blame falls on her - turns out that personal popularity in the office is not that different from your school days. Shamed online and ostracised by everyone she knows, Edie's forced to take an extended sabbatical - ghostwriting an autobiography for hot new acting talent, Elliot Owen. Easy, right? Wrong.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Very frustrating heroine, disappointing ending
- By Jennie L. Stumm on 09-23-20
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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Don't You Forget About Me
- A Novel
- By: Mhairi McFarlane
- Narrated by: Madeline Gould
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,652
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,486
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,477
If there’s anything worse than being fired from the lousiest restaurant in town, it’s coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way - bartender in a newly opened pub. There’s only one problem: It’s run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And - make that two problems - he doesn’t remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat...what more could a girl really need?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Helpful for Sexual Assault Victims
- By Katie Best on 12-05-20
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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The Rich Boy
- By: Kylie Scott
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,358
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,233
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,229
I’m the type of girl who’s given up on fairy tales. So when Beck – the hot new busboy at work - starts flirting with me, I know better than to get my hopes up. Happily ever afters aren’t for the average. I learned that the hard way. But how can I be expected to resist a man who can quote Austen, loves making me laugh, and seems to be everything hot and good in this world? Only there’s so much more to him than that. Billionaire playboy? Check. Troubled soul? Check.
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5 out of 5 stars
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are you freaking serious!
- By Deanna on 07-14-20
By: Kylie Scott
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Seduce Me
- By: Kelly Elliott
- Narrated by: Jeremy York, Abby Craden
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 255
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 242
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 239
What happens when you’re forced to seduce the one person you vowed never to love? You get screwed...in more than one way. I walked out of Tucker Middleton’s bedroom seven years ago, leaving him hurt and angry. Now I need his help; the only way I can get it is to make him think I want him back. The only problem is we have silently vowed to hate one another for the rest of our lives. In order to get Tucker to help me - I have to seduce him. Easy right? Hell yes! I’m the CEO of CMI Consulting. If I set my mind to something, I make it happen.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good story, fantastic narration!
- By Sara on 03-21-19
By: Kelly Elliott
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A Right Royal Affair
- By: Helen Juliet
- Narrated by: Kieran Flitton
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 120
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 114
Theo Glass used to believe that love was just a fairy tale. Orphaned and disowned by his homophobic stepfamily, he and his grandma make ends meet as best they can. But when his grandma’s tireless charity work is honored, Theo makes sure he spends his last pennies to get her to the palace, hosted by none other than the gorgeous Prince James himself. James is sixth in line to the throne of the United Kingdom and a disappointment to just about everyone. He never felt at home at school, on the rugby pitch, or even in the army.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Cute Cinderella retelling
- By Alex on 02-15-20
By: Helen Juliet
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Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Amy McAllister
- Length: 17 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 102
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Story4 out of 5 stars 94
Lucy Sullivan is 26 and living it up (and occasionally down) in London. Hers is a life of quiet, undisciplined desperation. But when she and three friends visit a psychic for a bit of fun and the woman's predictions start coming true, Lucy is horrified. For the fortune-teller insisted she'd soon be married - within the year, in fact. Not only does Lucy not have a boyfriend, but the chances of getting one are looking slim. Between the bottles of wine, antidepressants and her addiction to self-help books, she's not quite ready to walk, or even stumble, down the aisle sober.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Worst characters ever
- By Ada Harsema Engdahl on 01-30-20
By: Marian Keyes
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Rebel
- Wolfes of Manhattan, Book 1
- By: Helen Hardt
- Narrated by: Troy Duran, Kendall Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 446
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 403
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 400
When Rock Wolfe was fourteen, he tried to kill his father. Twenty years later, someone else finished the job. Now Rock is returning to New York for the reading of the billionaire's will. No way did Derek Wolfe leave anything to his oldest son, but according to Rock's brother, his presence is required. Estate attorney Lacey Ward isn't looking forward to the reading. None of Derek Wolfe's children will be happy, least of all his oldest. When Rock enters the conference room, Lacey is stunned.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Cliffhanger
- By D2niteowl on 06-13-21
By: Helen Hardt
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The Royal We
- By: Heather Cocks, Jessica Morgan
- Narrated by: Christine Lakin
- Length: 17 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,496
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,248
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,243
An American girl finds her prince in this "fun and dishy" (People) royal romance inspired by Prince William and Kate Middleton. American Bex Porter was never one for fairy tales. Her twin sister Lacey was always the romantic, the one who daydreamed of being a princess. But it's adventure-seeking Bex who goes to Oxford and meets dreamy Nick across the hall - and Bex who finds herself accidentally in love with the heir to the British throne. Nick is wonderful, but he comes with unimaginable baggage.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I deserve a medal for getting to the endless end.
- By Anne on 09-30-17
By: Heather Cocks, and others
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The One You Want
- The Original Heartbreakers, Book 0.5
- By: Gena Showalter
- Narrated by: Savannah Richards
- Length: 4 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 159
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 147
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 148
Kenna Starr will do anything to overcome her bad-girl past in Gena Showalter's The One You Want. Dane Michaelson is rich, sexy and plays hard, exactly the kind of guy she needs to avoid, but he's used to getting what he wants, and he wants her.
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1 out of 5 stars
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The one you DON'T want
- By SIMARA on 05-13-15
By: Gena Showalter
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Blackstone Ranger Chief
- Blackstone Rangers, Book 1
- By: Alicia Montgomery
- Narrated by: Tara Langella
- Length: 4 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 68
A bride walks into a bar.... No, it wasn’t the start of a bad joke. Damon isn’t sure what’s going on, but the moment the mysterious woman in the wedding dress saunters into the local watering hole, his bear immediately knows: She’s his mate, the one fate intended for him. But a troubled past has left scars on his heart and soul, and claiming the runaway bride could only end tragically for both of them. He does his best to stay clear of her, but he can only control his animal - and his desire for her - for so long.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Bear walks into bar….. :)
- By Laura on 03-12-23
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A Year at Castle Court
- By: Holly Hepburn
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 12 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Sadie is a single mum, nursing a broken heart. Her best friend from childhood, Cat, is burned out from working long hours as a chef in Paris. In need of a change, they decide to invest in their dream - running their own handmade biscuit shop in gorgeous Castle Court, a three-storey food court tucked away behind Chester's bustling streets. They soon discover that Castle Court has its own community - a little haven of delight against the stresses of the outside world. But not everyone welcomes the new business.
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2 out of 5 stars
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A Year at Castle Court
- By Thalia on 08-13-19
By: Holly Hepburn
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Lost for Words
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50
Sasha Adams has it all. Fulfilling career, loving family, great friends, and . . . Who's she kidding? She lives at home with her aging mother, Fleur. She works as a massage therapist, and spends all her time with her best friend, Bobbi. But damn it, she's happy. Well, okay, maybe not happy, but she's content. It's enough. Until the well-meaning but meddlesome women in her life, Fleur and Bobbi, team up and enter Sasha into a writing competition with the potential to change her life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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She trusts her readers
- By Anonymous User on 01-02-23
By: Andrea Bramhall
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Petal Plucker
- By: Iris Morland
- Narrated by: Samantha Brentmoor
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 18
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 15
Confession: I, Dandelion “Dani” Wright, am 26 years old and have yet to be deflowered. My excuse? I was too busy running my family’s flower shop and winning floral-design competitions. Suddenly that whole pesky virginity thing becomes a big deal when Jacob West walks back into my life. He’s the boy I once loved - the boy who once humiliated me when he stood me up for prom. This Jacob is no boy though: he’s all man now - confident, charming, and so sexy my metaphorical blossoms are getting scorched.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Trashy
- By Marilyn Doherty on 05-21-20
By: Iris Morland
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Rosie’s Travelling Tea Shop
- By: Rebecca Raisin
- Narrated by: Charlie Sanderson
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 345
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 305
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Story4 out of 5 stars 306
The trip of a lifetime! Rosie Lewis has her life together. A swanky job as a Michelin-starred sous chef, a loving husband and future children scheduled for exactly January 2021. That’s until she comes home one day to find her husband’s prepacked bag and a confession that he's had an affair. Heartbroken and devastated, Rosie drowns her sorrows in a glass (or three) of wine, only to discover the following morning that she has spontaneously invested in a bright pink campervan to facilitate her grand plans to travel the country.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Rosie’s Travelling Tea Shop
- By Thalia on 10-07-19
By: Rebecca Raisin
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The Secret Bridesmaid
- A Novel
- By: Katy Birchall
- Narrated by: Nathalie Buscombe
- Length: 12 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 953
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 865
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 856
As a professional bridesmaid, Sophie is hired by London brides to be their right-hand woman, posing as a friend but working behind the scenes to help plan the perfect wedding and ensure their big day goes off without a hitch. When she’s hired by Lady Victoria Swann - a former model and “It Girl" of 1970’s London; now the Marchioness of Meade - for the society wedding of the year, it should be a chance for Sophie to prove just how talented she is.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Secret Bridesmaid
- By whatcha.listening.to on 10-05-21
By: Katy Birchall
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Discovery
- By: Melissa Tereze
- Narrated by: Emma Griffiths
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
Two years after extricating herself from an emotionally abusive marriage, high school teacher Caroline “Caz” Baker is still healing. Her friends, though, arrange a date with a hired escort to throw her headfirst back into the dating pool. Caz tells herself to relax and just have fun, but the beautiful blonde with intense cobalt eyes stuns her tongue-tied. “Eva” is just doing her job, but there’s nothing forced about the electrifying desire streaking through Caz’s body.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Discovery
- By Cindi Earles on 04-25-24
By: Melissa Tereze
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Behind Her Eyes
- By: Melissa Tereze
- Narrated by: Emma Griffiths
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 69
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 58
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 58
Five years ago, Abi was in culinary school and dreaming of working at Adley’s, a Michelin-starred restaurant, and for its equally delectable owner. Instead, she’s alone, broke, and out of friendly couches to sleep on. Her only direction…rock bottom.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent story-very well written
- By Lynn M. Newman on 04-18-23
By: Melissa Tereze
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#1 Crush
- By: T Gephart
- Narrated by: Grace Grant
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 675
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 623
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 622
Tia Monroe was smart, sassy, and successful. Sure, she could get a little crazy at times - life around Tia was never boring - but that was part of her appeal. And while she didn't see herself as classically beautiful, she had no shortage of options in the boyfriend department. She just hadn't found one who held her interest. Until she laid eyes on Eric Larsson, and then it was lust at first sight. He packed the perfect mix of smoldering sexy and unapologetic cool into his blond-haired, blue-eyed, ridiculously hot six-foot-four frame.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Cute laugh out loud story
- By Amazon Customer on 07-20-17
By: T Gephart
What listeners say about My Vampire Boyfriend Sucks
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- emily_minnesota
- 08-16-24
Vamp/Fairy, 2nd chances, fake dating, humor, spice
Vamp/Fairy, 2nd chances, fake dating, beating fates, humor, and spice!
She took a chance on a date long ago. All his exes came up to him during that date. Date over! Ever since then, he has been up in her space, the typical boy pulling the pigtails because he likes her. Then Death comes a knocking. Literally. And an interfering family. Let the fake dating commence!
The only problem is I wish is was longer lol!!!!
This is not the first book in the series, but it can be read as a complete stand-alone. Everything you need to know will be given to you. However, I think that you will get a lot more out of it if you have read the previous book, as you will have met the characters before, know a bit more about the town/friend dynamics, and feel emotionally connected to the characters faster.
** I also listened to this audiobook and loved it. I think the narrators give great emotion and help you connect to the story and the characters faster and deeper than if you were reading.
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