Klopp Actually
(Imaginary) Life with Football's Most Sensible Heartthrob
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Klopp Actually
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Narrated by:
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Laura Lexx
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By:
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Laura Lexx
About this listen
Inspired by the viral tweet: 'If I ever met Jürgen Klopp I'd say "omg if we have a baby we should call it Klipp" just so he'd raise an eyebrow at me and tell me I'm a moron and I'd be so naked by the time he'd finished doing that....'
In these uncertain times we all need a coping mechanism. And Laura Lexx has found the obvious one - imagining life married to the sensible, no-nonsense man of our dreams, Jürgen Klopp. She thinks maybe he has something to do with football? More importantly, he definitely knows how to efficiently stack a dishwasher and would tell you honestly if you were being unreasonable about a colleague.
From job interviews to furniture shopping in IKEA to making a birthday cake for their daughter, Klipp, Klopp Actually is a hilarious, warm and deeply silly diary of life with everyone's favourite baseball-cap-wearing, bespectacled German football manager.
'I shiver, my skin breaking out into tiny goosebumps. "Are you cold?" He whispers, his lips brushing my ear, making the fine hairs ripple. "A little." I grin, pressing against his thigh. He runs a hand down the curve of my spine.... "You should put a jumper on."'
©2020 Laura Lexx (P)2020 Hodder & Stoughton LimitedListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"I'd love to read a whole book of Laura's funny, clever, sweet imagination...it made me laugh a huge amount!" (Marian Keyes)
"Laura is so funny and I can't wait to read this book and I hope it isn't awkward when I actually marry Jürgen Klopp." (Sara Pascoe)
"It's rare to find brilliant new talent, rarer still to discover it on twitter but Laura's thread on Klopp was my highlight of the year. I cannot wait to see what she does in book form. I shall devour it. A great shining comedic talent." (Emma Kennedy)
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- By: Alex Marwood
- Narrated by: Beverley A. Crick
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,302
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,171
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,174
Real estate mogul Sean Jackson is throwing himself a splashy 50th birthday party, but trouble starts almost immediately: His ex-wife has sent his teenage daughters to the party without telling him; his current wife has fired the nanny; and he's finding it difficult to sneak away to his mistress. Then something truly terrible happens: one of his three-year-old twins goes missing. No trace of her is ever found. The attendees of the party, nicknamed the Jackson Associates by the press, become infamous overnight.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wow
- By Christina on 09-14-16
By: Alex Marwood
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The Bookshop on Rosemary Lane
- By: Ellen Berry
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Glaister
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Story4 out of 5 stars 101
Take a trip to the Yorkshire village of Burley Bridge, where a very special little cookbook shop is about to open its doors.... In the beginning...Kitty Cartwright has always solved her problems in the kitchen. Her cookbooks are her life, and there isn't an issue that 'Cooking with Aspic' can't fix. Her only wish is that she had a book entitled Rustling Up Dinner When Your Husband Has Left You. Forty years later.... On Rosemary Lane, Della Cartwright plans to open a very special little bookshop.
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4 out of 5 stars
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The Bookshop on Rosemary Lane
- By Nanette P. Riegert on 05-24-17
By: Ellen Berry
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The Woman Who Met Her Match
- By: Fiona Gibson
- Narrated by: Emma Gregory
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 756
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 691
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 691
What if your first love came back on the scene...30 years later? After yet another disaster, Lorrie is calling time on online dating. She might be single in her 40s, but she's got a good job and wonderful children, and she's happy. This, Lorrie decides, is going to have to be enough. That is until she receives a very unexpected request from France. Antoine Rousseau, who had once turned a lonely French exchange trip into a summer of romance, wants to see her - after 30 years.
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5 out of 5 stars
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sweet easy read
- By lzydaizy on 02-01-18
By: Fiona Gibson
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Walking Back to Happiness
- By: Lucy Dillon
- Narrated by: Jilly Bond
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 109
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 110
Juliet’s been in hiding - from her family, from her broken life, but most of all from the fact that Ben’s not around anymore. Her mother, Diane, has run out of advice. But then she insists Juliet look after her elderly Labrador and it becomes apparent that Coco the dog might actually be the one who can rescue her daughter. Especially when it leads to her walking dogs for a few other locals too, including a spaniel, Damson, who belongs to a very attractive man.... Before she knows it, Juliet realizes she has somehow become the town’s unofficial pet-sitter.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Read - makes you appreciate what you have
- By Leisha on 12-10-12
By: Lucy Dillon
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Us: A Novel
- By: David Nicholls
- Narrated by: David Haig
- Length: 14 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 862
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 769
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Story4 out of 5 stars 773
Douglas Petersen may be mild-mannered, but behind his reserve lies a sense of humor that seduces beautiful Connie into a second date...and eventually into marriage. Now, almost three decades later, they live more or less happily in the London suburbs with their moody seventeen year-old son, Albie. Then Connie tells him she thinks she wants a divorce. The timing couldn’t be worse. Connie has planned a month-long tour of European capitals, a chance to experience the world’s greatest works of art as a family, and she can’t bring herself to cancel. And maybe going ahead is for the best anyway? Douglas is privately convinced that this landmark trip will rekindle the romance in the marriage, and might even help him to bond with Albie. Narrated from Douglas’s endearingly honest, slyly witty, and at times achingly optimistic point of view, Us is the story of a man trying to rescue his relationship with the woman he loves, and learning how to get closer to a son who’s always felt like a stranger.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great novel - my favorite in years
- By Mark on 07-21-15
By: David Nicholls
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The Brightest Star in the Sky
- A Novel
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Caitriona Keyes
- Length: 17 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 135
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 79
The Brightest Star in the Sky follows seven neighbors whose lives become entangled when a sassy and prescient spirit pays a visit to their Dublin townhouse with the intent of changing at least one of their lives. But what will this metamorphosis be and who will the sprite choose?
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1 out of 5 stars
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Terrible sound quality, worse narration
- By Jan on 02-23-10
By: Marian Keyes
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The Scent of You
- By: Maggie Alderson
- Narrated by: Zara Ramm
- Length: 13 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 35
A tale of perfumes, exploring life, love, loss and forgiveness - Maggie Alderson's new best seller. Are you still married if you haven't seen your husband for months? Polly's life is great. Her children are away at uni, her glamorous mother - still modelling at 85 - is happily settled in a retirement village, and her perfume blog is taking off. Then her husband announces he needs some space and promptly vanishes. As Polly grapples with her bewildering situation, she clings to a few new friends to keep her going.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Okay for a light read
- By Robin on 10-26-17
By: Maggie Alderson
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Make or Break
- By: Catherine Bennetto
- Narrated by: Anna Acton
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 288
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 266
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 264
Jess, a 29-year-old Londoner with a Kate Beckett fringe and a tendency for dramatics, gets taken on a surprise trip by her long-term boyfriend, Pete, to attend her best friend’s last-minute wedding in South Africa. Jess imagines sun, sand, wine and safaris. And returning to London with an ethically mined diamond on her left hand... But this holiday isn’t set to be quite the fairy tale Jess has planned. Suddenly she finds her world tilting on its axis, and things are only set to get worse when Jess returns home....
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1 out of 5 stars
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Excruciating. Save yourself.
- By Kristyn Rose on 05-11-19
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Stella's Story
- Thrown Away Children, Book 1
- By: Louise Allen
- Narrated by: Melanie Crawley
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 229
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 216
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Story5 out of 5 stars 216
Named after the lager that christened her at birth, Stella's life is characterised instability and neglect. Her teenage mother abandons her in the first few weeks of her life, and left in the 'care' of her father, she ends up lying deserted in a house with no food, no water, no clothes and no warmth. She eventually lands in the care of foster carer Louise, who is determined to change her life for the better.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Heartbreaking but so wonderful to see a happy ending
- By Amazon Customer on 11-14-24
By: Louise Allen
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As Good As It Gets?
- By: Fiona Gibson
- Narrated by: Jenny Funnell
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 83
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 83
A warm, funny read for fans of Outnumbered and the novels of Fern Britton, Fiona writes about life as it really is. "Midlife crisis? WHAT midlife crisis?!" Charlotte Bristow is worried about her husband, Will. With her 16-year-old daughter, Rosie, newly signed to a top modelling agency and Will recently out of a job, things are changing in their household.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I didn't love it, even though I wanted to
- By Abby on 03-24-22
By: Fiona Gibson
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The Third Wife
- A Novel
- By: Lisa Jewell
- Narrated by: Joe Jameson
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,354
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,038
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,030
In the early hours of a summer morning, a young woman steps into the path of an oncoming bus. A tragic accident? Or suicide? At the center of this puzzle is Adrian Wolfe, a successful architect and grief-stricken widower, who, a year after his third wife's death, begins to investigate the cause. As Adrian looks back on their brief but seemingly happy marriage, disturbing secrets begin to surface. The divorces from his two previous wives had been amicable, or so it seemed; his children, all five of them, were resilient as ever, or so he thought.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not a mystery
- By Susan on 07-06-18
By: Lisa Jewell
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Here's Looking at You
- By: Mhairi McFarlane
- Narrated by: Cassandra Harwood
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 680
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 614
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 616
The new novel from the bestselling author of You Had Me At Hello. Anna Alessi - history expert, possessor of a lot of hair and an occasionally filthy mouth - seeks nice man for intelligent conversation and Mills & Boon moments. Despite the oddballs that keep turning up on her dates, Anna couldn't be happier. As a 30-something with a job she loves, life has turned out better than she dared dream.
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5 out of 5 stars
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It Grows On You
- By Sharlotte on 05-24-16
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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High Dive
- By: Jonathan Lee
- Narrated by: Doyle Gerard
- Length: 11 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 107
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 89
Taking us inside one of the 20th century's most ambitious assassination attempts - "making history personal", as one character puts it - High Dive moves between the luxurious hospitality of a British tourist town and the troubled city of Belfast, Northern Ireland, at the height of the armed struggle between the Irish Republican Army and those loyal to the UK government.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Humor? Not Funny.
- By W Perry Hall on 04-10-16
By: Jonathan Lee
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Putney
- A Novel
- By: Sofka Zinovieff
- Narrated by: Michelle Ford
- Length: 11 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Story4 out of 5 stars 51
In the spirit of Zoë Heller’s Notes on a Scandal and Tom Perrotta’s Mrs. Fletcher, an explosive and thought-provoking novel about the far-reaching repercussions of an illicit relationship between a young girl and a man 20 years her senior. Masterfully told from three diverse viewpoints - victim, perpetrator, and witness - Putney is a subtle and enormously powerful novel about consent, agency, and what we tell ourselves to justify what we do, and what others do to us.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the greatest stories of all time!
- By Valarie on 06-17-20
By: Sofka Zinovieff
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Things We Never Said
- By: Nick Alexander
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 70
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Story4 out of 5 stars 57
When Catherine learns that she is dying, she remembers the words her husband once jokingly uttered and decides to leave him the ultimate posthumous gift: a time capsule containing photographs of their life together along with tape recordings in which she recounts every secret she ever kept, every unspoken thought whether loving or treacherous - the things they never said.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Boring couple, Boring Book
- By Shell on 12-23-18
By: Nick Alexander