I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas
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I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas
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Narrated by:
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Lewis Black
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By:
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Lewis Black
About this listen
From Lewis Black, the uproarious and perpetually apoplectic New York Times best-selling author and Daily Show regular, comes a ferociously funny book about his least favorite holiday, Christmas.
©2010 Lewis Black (P)2010 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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"Riotous." (Publishers Weekly)
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After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
-
1 out of 5 stars
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Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
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Seven Deadly Sins
- Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,078
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 978
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 971
For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,185
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,070
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,066
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 539
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 488
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Story4 out of 5 stars 489
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 868
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 797
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 796
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,204
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,040
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,036
The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 120
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
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Story4 out of 5 stars 102
It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 536
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 479
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 478
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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The Longest Date
- Life as a Wife
- By: Cindy Chupack
- Narrated by: Cindy Chupack, Ian Wallach
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4 out of 5 stars 56
After having endured enough emotional wreckage in her search for true love to fill a book ( The New York Times bestseller The Between Boyfriends Book), two magazine columns, and five seasons of scripts for Sex and the City, Cindy Chupack finally, mercifully, at the age of thirty-nine, met the Perfect Man. The perfect companion for anyone navigating a marriage (or even just contemplating one), The Longest Date marks the welcome return of one of our most gifted and captivating comic writers.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Meh...
- By Jessica K. on 11-07-18
By: Cindy Chupack
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Learning to Die in Miami
- Confessions of a Refugee Boy
- By: Carlos Eire
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
Carlos Eire's story of a boyhood uprooted by the Cuban Revolution quickly lures us in, as eleven-year-old Carlos and his older brother Tony touch down in the sun-dappled Miami of 1962 - a place of daunting abundance where his old Cuban self must die to make way for a new, American self waiting to be born. In this enchanting new work, narrated in Eire's inimitable and lyrical voice, young Carlos adjusts to life in his new country.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent memoir of a forgotten time in history
- By BRB on 03-23-15
By: Carlos Eire
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Familyhood
- By: Paul Reiser
- Narrated by: Paul Reiser
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 87
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story4 out of 5 stars 69
In Familyhood, Reiser shares his observations on parenting, marriage, and mid-life with the wit, warmth, and humor that he’s so well-known for. From the first experience of sending his two boys off to summer camp to maneuvering the minefield of bad words learned at school, this hilarious new book captures the spirit of familyhood, the logical next frontier for Reiser’s trademark perspective on the universal truths of life, love, and relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Witty and warm, a pleasurable read
- By Frank on 06-03-11
By: Paul Reiser
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,809
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,584
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,572
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 168
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 145
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 146
Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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Normal Gets You Nowhere
- By: Kelly Cutrone
- Narrated by: Kelly Cutrone
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 195
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 168
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Story4 out of 5 stars 170
With Normal Gets You Nowhere, Kelly Cutrone invites us to get our freak on. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in. Think Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, Amelia Earhart, John Lennon, and Rosa Parks. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people hung a light on their differences - and changed humanity in the process. “I know you don’t feel normal, so why are you trying to act it and prove to everyone you are?” Cutrone says.
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5 out of 5 stars
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For open minds and hearts.
- By Kelly on 01-06-12
By: Kelly Cutrone
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 62,382
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54,071
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53,789
As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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3 out of 5 stars
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 161
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 77
I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
What listeners say about I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
- steve
- 01-13-11
Passing the torch
Before his death, the great George Carlin said Lewis Black was his favorite comedian out there today and books like this clearly show that Carlin was right. Extremely funny and Black as the narrator is great!
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Terry A. Cook
- 11-19-22
A favorite by Lewis Black
This is a wonderful look at the most overwhelming of holidays. Thank you! Being a Santa, more than once,, I applaud you vigorously.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- James
- 02-11-19
Another Lewis Black
Found that after an hour or so of listening to Lewis Black the words kind of run together. He is funny but this was a bit on the dark side.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Diane
- 02-10-11
Disappointing
I'm a huge fan of Lewis Black and love all of his other stuff - books and performances - but this book doesn't come close to what I expect from him. He doesn't really say anything, and takes a long time to do it. To be fair, I quit listening half-way through. Perhaps it gets better...
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Claryn M. Wheeler
- 12-04-17
Loved it!
As usual, Mr. Black delivers. Made me laugh, cry and think. Can't wait to start the next one!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Laurie J.
- 02-27-21
Wheetabix! Thanks for more memories.
Lewis: I was a Lockheed C-141b flight engineer in Desert Storm from 1991 - 1994. Thank you and your colleagues for taking the time and for risking your own personal safety to support and entertain my fellow military sisters and brothers.
Laurie Joy Kennedy, Sweden
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 05-12-21
definitely not a rant
this is an excellent book too damn short but it was only a buck and a half. and of course brought to an old me the way Lewis Black could do it. it definitely shows a charitable and humble side of the man someone that's not always bitching. Louis you're one of my favorite assholes keep it up and I'm talking about your act they have pills for the other thing x's and o's and a big f*** you
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Kelly W.
- 08-18-20
Poor Lewis . . . .
Everybody needs to listen to a millionaire complain about everything . . . . 🤣🤣😂😂
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Robert
- 01-11-11
Seemed a little forced (though he warns you)
I really like Lewis' insight, but it seems a little stretched out over an entire book. He warns at the beginning that he didn't really want to do this book with a whole "My agent says I should write a book" story. At first it seemed like just an anecdote to start the book...but then I really believed that he was doing it just for the money.
Eventually, he gets into some interesting insights and commentary on modern society. But nothing really earth shattering or amazing, but somewhat amusing. The story he shares to end it was definitely the highlight for me - the real example of the meaning of the season and how it is not really tied to religion (Surprise!).
His narration is fine. I don't think it would work to have anyone else doing it, but it is hard to maintain the Lewis Rage for 5 hours.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Annette M Long
- 05-11-17
Feeds the mind and the funny bone!
I watch and listen to Lewis Black whenever I can. Great book, great stories and interesting viewpoints on our outrageous situation in today's world. Makes me feel a little better to listen and watch Mr. Black.
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